Seagulls go insane trying to steal chips through car windscreen

by ZomFox to /s/whatever from metro.co.uk

Good Morning Britain viewers gobsmacked as guest appears on live television completely naked to defend nude sunbathing

by ZomFox to /s/whatever from metro.co.uk

Abandoned fox cub found with note saying ‘my mum died – help me’ on Greggs Bakery bag 🥺

by ZomFox to /s/whatever from metro.co.uk

Friends’ £3,500 ‘holiday from hell’ after poo found in pool three times

by Phooey to /s/NotTheOnion from metro.co.uk

Almost 1,500 Kyles travel to Kyle for world’s biggest gathering of Kyles

by ZomFox to /s/news from metro.co.uk

Cambodian man torn apart by 40 crocodiles after being dragged into enclosure 😮

by ZomFox to /s/WorldNews from metro.co.uk

Facebook owner Meta hit with record £1,043,744,000 fine for mishandling user data

by ZomFox to /s/technology from metro.co.uk

Man has used leaves instead of loo roll for 5 years – and he loves it

by ZomFox to /s/offbeat from metro.co.uk

Everyone with a vagina queefs, don’t worry about it

by Phooey to /s/NotTheOnion from metro.co.uk

Woman shouted ‘kill all the Muslims’ and threatened to take out gun on train

by divingrightintowork to /s/TheseAreNotOurCrimes from metro.co.uk

THOT gets paid to burp in a bag

by ZomFox to /s/NotTheOnion from metro.co.uk

Moose on the loose casually tucks into popcorn after sneaking into cinema

by ZomFox to /s/whatever from metro.co.uk

Cruise ship crew ‘left dead passenger to rot inside drinks cooler’

by ZomFox to /s/news from metro.co.uk

Bless his heart but Prince Harry has to ‘sit 10 rows behind’ other royals at coronation

by IkeConn to /s/BlessYourHeart from metro.co.uk

Tiny lamb found in back of a car alongside £10,000-worth of drugs

by ZomFox to /s/WorldNews from metro.co.uk

Eco assholes planning to throw rape alarms at King’s horses during coronation

by ZomFox to /s/politics from metro.co.uk

Raccoon robbers with perfect natural ‘mask’ broke into bank to try and steal cookies

by Phooey to /s/whatever from metro.co.uk

Pidgin Stuck on Roof Rescued by Firefighter Crews From Two Stations

by EvilDed to /s/WorldNews from metro.co.uk

Man ‘stole 67 pieces of underwear’ to hang on his ‘masturbation tree’

by [deleted] to /s/NotTheOnion from metro.co.uk

Rapper and actor Lil Dicky gets real about living with a small penis and how he was born with it ‘tangled and like a corkscrew’

by [deleted] to /s/NotTheOnion from metro.co.uk

Man thinks he’s seen a doughnut UFO above Dudley – 10 years after the ‘Dudley Dorito’

by EvilDed to /s/conspiracy from metro.co.uk

Pet raccoon spends his days riding a boat and hanging out with a golden retriever

by [deleted] to /s/whatever from metro.co.uk

Video: BBC airs HD footage of two slugs going at it and intertwining their giant penises

by [deleted] to /s/NotTheOnion from metro.co.uk

Tennessee Criminalizes Drag Shows

by chottohen to /s/whatever from metro.co.uk

Psychic reveals how he found body of missing mum Nicola Bulley

by jet199 to /s/England from metro.co.uk

Original Wednesday Addams star Lisa Loring dies aged 64 after suffering ‘serious stroke’

by BISH to /s/WorldNews from metro.co.uk

The Yardbirds founding guitarist Anthony Topham dies aged 75

by carn0ld03 to /s/Death from metro.co.uk

Dr Ranj urges British Curry Awards to ‘do better’ after lack of Asian representation and ‘racist’ joke

by jet199 to /s/SocialJusticeInAction from metro.co.uk

Man finds whopping frozen chip the size of a fork

by [deleted] to /s/whatever from metro.co.uk

Video: Woman caught at airport carrying her boyfriend's ashes in a butt plug

by [deleted] to /s/NotTheOnion from metro.co.uk

Amazon becomes first company in history to lose $1,000,000,000,000

by [deleted] to /s/finance from metro.co.uk

Blind man used voice activation technology to help him watch child abuse videos

by [deleted] to /s/NotTheOnion from metro.co.uk

Couple on £84,000-a-year benefits let girl sleep covered in poo next to dead dog

by [deleted] to /s/whatever from metro.co.uk

Mum who mowed down bus driver in Tesco car park spared jail to look after her children

by [deleted] to /s/news from metro.co.uk

Police officers carry out huge drug bust ‘disguised’ as The Avengers

by [deleted] to /s/NotTheOnion from metro.co.uk

Girl, 14, cuts lip after ‘razor blade inserted inside Curly Wurly’ in Halloween prank

by [deleted] to /s/WorldNews from metro.co.uk

Bear ripped toddler’s arm off after she put it through fence at zoo

by Zapped to /s/WorldNews from metro.co.uk

Scientists develop new lethal Covid strain that would kill 80% of people infected

by jet199 to /s/Coronavirus from metro.co.uk

Seagull takes menacing selfie after woman leaves phone recording on beach

by [deleted] to /s/whatever from metro.co.uk

Forcing workers to turn cameras on for Zoom calls ‘breaches human rights’

by [deleted] to /s/Europe from metro.co.uk

Wardrobe crushed woman to death ‘when she mistook it for toilet door in night’

by [deleted] to /s/NotTheOnion from metro.co.uk

Ex-gangster’s pet peacock is raising hell in his neighbourhood

by [deleted] to /s/whatever from metro.co.uk

Seagull left a sticky mess after diving beak-first into bin of jam and custard

by [deleted] to /s/whatever from metro.co.uk

Chaos as Putin cancels big speech ‘set to announce escalation of Ukraine war’

by [deleted] to /s/politics from metro.co.uk

Episode of children’s show Bluey ‘banned’ in the US ‘because character farted’

by [deleted] to /s/censorship from metro.co.uk

Jameela Jamil calls her vagina the ‘real She-Hulk’ after ‘begging’ Marvel bosses to let her be ‘punched in the pussy’

by [deleted] to /s/NotTheOnion from metro.co.uk

Doctors remove steel cup from man’s rectum ’10 days after drunken prank’

by [deleted] to /s/NotTheOnion from metro.co.uk

Couple drink used shower water in bid to lead ‘zero-waste’ lifestyle

by [deleted] to /s/NotTheOnion from metro.co.uk

Sewage hits dozens of beaches after torrential downpours. Swimmers have been warned to stay away due to ‘the shitstorm after the calm.'

by [deleted] to /s/environment from metro.co.uk

Human population set to cross 8,000,000,000 ‘any day now’

by [deleted] to /s/WorldPolitics from metro.co.uk

Ritual held where village digs up dead relatives and dresses them up

by [deleted] to /s/NotTheOnion from metro.co.uk

Flock of angry seagulls attack burglar trying to raid house at 4am

by [deleted] to /s/news from metro.co.uk

Vicar caught in flagrante with Henry the Hoover carried on after being seen

by [deleted] to /s/NotTheOnion from metro.co.uk

I will always talk about my poo – and I ask my friends to tell me about theirs

by [deleted] to /s/NotTheOnion from metro.co.uk

Lifefuel: Roastie Wall Cope

by greybeard to /s/Incels from metro.co.uk

Wimbledon protester shouts ‘where’s Peng Shuai?’ during Novak Djokovic vs Nick Kyrgios final: During the third set, Australian activist Drew Pavlou held up a sign which read, ‘where is Peng Shuai?’, and shouted, ‘where is Peng Shuai, Chinese tennis star persecuted by the Chinese government?’

by Orangutan to /s/Tennis from metro.co.uk

It's hot in the UK - some houses are burning

by In-the-clouds to /s/news from metro.co.uk

Murder monkey beheads his 8 months pregnant mudshark girlfriend

by Rob3122 to /s/news from metro.co.uk

Yet another fleet of electric buses on fire at the charging station. Londres this time.

by iamonlyoneman to /s/news from metro.co.uk

Check your cis white gay privilege!Homophobia

by Chunkeeguy to /s/LGBDropTheT from metro.co.uk

Florida man looking for Frisbees in alligator-infested lake found dismembered

by [deleted] to /s/NotTheOnion from metro.co.uk

Even Germany isn't safe, Gunman opens fire in German Aldi, killing two.

by [deleted] to /s/Europe from metro.co.uk

Social media influencer who drove a 1978 Beetle for likes dies in head-on collision with Ford Escape. Modern car: no casualties, retains its shape. 1978 car that was a cheap piece of junk when it was new: crumpled like a shirt in a laundry basked. His mouth is open in just about every photo.

by Chipit to /s/news from metro.co.uk

Welcome to the new virus, the monkeypox virus, affecting gay, bisexual people in the UK. Four cases in the UK so far.

by [deleted] to /s/news from metro.co.uk

Cyber pranksters air drop pictures of crashing airliners to passengers on plane. Nine have been arrested, could spend 3 years in prison according to Israeli law.

by [deleted] to /s/comedy from metro.co.uk

Scum trash left Staffordshire Bull Terrier in cage next to empty food and water bowls while she went on holiday for 14 days.

by [deleted] to /s/news from metro.co.uk

Russian ‘filtration’ centres are comparable to Nazi concentration camps apparently.

by [deleted] to /s/politics from metro.co.uk

Ex-soldier exposed her penis and used wheelie bin as sex toy in public

by [deleted] to /s/GenderCritical from metro.co.uk

Ex-soldier exposed her penis and used wheelie bin as sex toy in public

by [deleted] to /s/SuperStraight from metro.co.uk

Ex-soldier exposed her penis and used wheelie bin as sex toy in public

by [deleted] to /s/news from metro.co.uk

Ex-soldier exposed her penis and used wheelie bin as sex toy in public

by jet199 to /s/TheseAreNotOurCrimes from metro.co.uk

Schoolgirl wrongly strip searched while on her period to sue Met Police

by Jackalope to /s/PoliceMisconduct from metro.co.uk

School put lockable gates on toilets to stop children using them during lessons

by Jackalope to /s/NotTheOnion from metro.co.uk

Man performed helicopter with his penis after jumping onto McDonald’s counter

by Jackalope to /s/NotTheOnion from metro.co.uk

Belarus declares it will not take part in Russia’s invasion of Ukraine

by jet199 to /s/Ukraine from metro.co.uk

Man arrested for having sex with goat ‘in broad daylight’

by Antarchomachus to /s/NotTheOnion from metro.co.uk

Police can’t do anything about man who stands next to school buses with dildo strapped to his head

by Antarchomachus to /s/NotTheOnion from metro.co.uk

Priest made young boys dress up as Baby Jesus then sexually abused them

by Antarchomachus to /s/NotTheOnion from metro.co.uk

Woman finds out her dad has been buying her nudes on OnlyFans

by Antarchomachus to /s/NotTheOnion from metro.co.uk

Trans woman arrested for ‘sex with her dementia-suffering elderly mother’

by Antarchomachus to /s/NotTheOnion from metro.co.uk

Child rape victims called ‘promiscuous’ and criminalised, scathing report finds

by jet199 to /s/pedogate from metro.co.uk

90 Day Fiance star who made £38,000 a week selling farts in a jar hospitalised

by jet199 to /s/Entertainment from metro.co.uk

Another child killed in lockdown - Star Hobson’s devastated grandad took his own life on daughter’s birthday

by jet199 to /s/England from metro.co.uk

Turns out the Welsh first minister's son was convicted of rape and now IDs as a trans woman. I did expect the real life Sin City to turn out to be Cardiff.

by jet199 to /s/ukpolitics from metro.co.uk

Cis gays are so privileged!Violence

by artetolife to /s/LGBDropTheT from metro.co.uk

BBC sheds 200,000 licence fee payers as boss eyes numbers ‘like hawks’

by Chipit to /s/news from metro.co.uk

Chaos at Reddit as dozens of subreddits made private in protest at site. Many users claim that Ms Challenor showed poor judgment and is not the right person for the role, as in 2017 she had appointed her father as a campaign manager after he had been charged with raping a 10-year-old girl.

by Chipit to /s/MeanwhileOnReddit from metro.co.uk

Lobotomies to "correct" sexual orientation - Disturbing parallels in this story to "sex reassignment surgery" that turns homosexual people "straight"LGB History

by reluctant_commenter to /s/LGBDropTheT from metro.co.uk

Transgender YouTube star ‘downloaded child sex abuse images while running child care service’

by jet199 to /s/TheseAreNotOurCrimes from metro.co.uk

Yes! Graham Linehan's stunt of pretending to be a TiM on TiM-inclusive dating app for "lesbians" HER is getting press!

by BEB to /s/GenderCritical from metro.co.uk

Graham Linehan joins queer women's dating app Her in stunt

by BEB to /s/LGBDropTheT from metro.co.uk

Mass Effect remaster interview – changing FemShep Ass Visibility but not the ending

by scrubking to /s/KotakuInAction from metro.co.uk

Keir Starmer ‘dragged away from Boris Johnson’ after PMQs bust-up

by jet199 to /s/UnitedKingdom from metro.co.uk

Mother who 'had sex with dog, then hanged her kids' fights to hide 'lewd' internet search history

by [deleted] to /s/news from metro.co.uk

Azealia Banks suspended from Twitter over "transphobic" tweets that everyone should read because Azealia is telling it like it is.

by BEB to /s/GenderCritical from metro.co.uk

Mum 'gets off train and leaves her baby behind'

by kesh to /s/whatever from metro.co.uk

Police officer ‘was warned about Manchester bomber 32 minutes before attack’

by jet199 to /s/WorldNews from metro.co.uk

Male Adult baby can’t find job as bosses don't like him wearing diapers at work.

by Happy_face_caller to /s/PinkPillFeminism from metro.co.uk

UK's first Pride train staffed by all-LGBT+ crew makes its first journey

by rouge_tropical to /s/LGBDropTheT from metro.co.uk

Metro News (UK): Deadly Premonition is one of the weirdest games of all time

by md_saidit to /s/DeadlyPremonition from metro.co.uk

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