all 24 comments

[–]Node 10 insightful - 3 fun10 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 3 fun -  (11 children)

These past few days i've done nothing but scroll and watch youtube videos. I can't be alone with my thoughts anymore.

It's unclear what you're asking, or what's going on. It sounds like you might be stressed, or worrying about something? You'll have to say more to be clear.

Meantime, do something to relax and interrupt your thought cascade.

  • Have some tea, but no caffeine after mid afternoon.
  • Get some exercise, like going for walk, a run, or working out.
  • Do physical work to make yourself tired so you'll fall asleep easier before it gets too late.
  • Read a book instead of turning the computer on.
  • Make sure you're drinking enough water.

If you're using alcohol, pot, or some other drug, stop doing that for a few days. Put it in a difficult to reach place so you would have to go out of your way to get it.

[–]johnnybravo[S] 7 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 3 fun -  (9 children)

Thanks for replying, node. What's going on is online classes. I am not a studious person, but it feels nice when I learn something new. In online classes I understand nothing. And I feel very guilty when I don't study for my subjects. I will pass just like everyone else because exams are online and conducted through google forms so it's very easy to cheat. But the guilt of not deserving it weighs down on my soul.

There's some solid advice there, I appreciate it. Going to start working out from today. (I remember when Corona began, I thought to myself 'hey I have lots of time now, I'm going to work out hard and walk out of my house completely ripped'. Funny how that turned out). I don't smoke, drink, or do drugs btw.

The problem I seem to have is that I constantly live in my head. Daydreaming, thinking, remembering, never living in the moment, unable to concentrate on anything. I wonder if there is some solution to this problem. Tried quitting computer/mobile, with little success.

[–]jet199 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Frankly reading some non fiction books will be better for your attention span and state of mind rather than hunting for new sensation on the internet.

[–]wristaction 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

This. It's like physical therapy for an atrophied attention span.

[–]Node 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

The problem I seem to have is that I constantly live in my head.

The solution to that would be to start spending time living in your body. If it's hard to start a whole exercise routine, start small. For example, do 10 pushups per day at first. Then increase gradually. The physical activity would probably make your studying go easier too.

If it helps, set an alarm on your phone, or put up a reminder on a paper note. Find whatever works for you to actually end up doing the physical activity. Keep in mind that after about a month of doing it regularly, you're literally going to feel physically better...

[–]wristaction 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I've taken to putting postits up on my monitor of actual computing business I ought to be doing. These range from image editing, learning a piece of software that is not a web browser, looking up bits of information I actually need IRL and so forth. Middling success. Mostly I set the bar at zero internet and this results in 20% less internet. I had more consistent success with removing the chair from the desk to the piano every time I left the computer. About half the time I'd actually sit at the piano and sort of practice that a bit.

Internet addiction sucks.

[–]Node 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Ah, just one more comment reply to make and then I swear I'm going outside. It's hard to stop drinking from the firehose sometimes.

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Do not let guilt weigh down on your soul. There is a solution to this problem, but as I said, it requires constant effort, and most people balk at the notion that the solution to this problem might radically change how they look at themselves, and the world. Because that is where all this is coming from. A subjective view of the self, and a subjective view of the world.

[–]Comatoast 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

Are you having a hard time figuring out a study structure with it? Or just not feeling motivated because of how it's laid out?

[–]johnnybravo[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I "attend" my online classes by leaving them on in the background. They are too monotonous and I don't understand a thing. Then I feel no motivation to study.

[–]Comatoast 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

This is advice from a medicated, daydreaming, innattentive serial procrastinator:

Collegeruled spiralbound notebooks, the three thick ones--get one for each class. Since you're hitting the end of the semester, you could probably deal with the regular ones.

Whether it's Zoom lectures or just pre-recorded bullshit, pretend you're on camera while you're watching it. You're obviously lying to yourself, but dismiss that. Now you're being held accountable, and have to at least look like you're paying attention (even if you're hyperfocused on the shape of a suddenly very interesting speck of dust on your computer screen).

Write notes. Just write them. It fucking sucks, but it's imperative. I have damn near novels worth of notes that I've taken. Mix it up with different pens of different colors, and attempt to make it exciting.. because it's not exciting. I have a thing with office supplies though that might not translate over for other people. Draw things you need to understand and label them with them, do whatever. If you have instruction materials that are pausible, take advantage of that. If all of your shit is mostly reading chapters, I'm sorry from the bottom of my heart. I've thrown myself around in a tantrum of despair over this because of how soul destroyingly boring it is (note: do not let others see you do this. Throw your grown ass adult boredom hissy alone and never admit to it. It's yours alone to treasure).

[–][deleted] 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Good advice, Node. He needs to interrupt that thought-cascade with some actual living.

Doing physical work to go to sleep better is such great advice. It solved my "insomnia" issue earlier last year.

[–][deleted] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

The most important thing that anyone can do right now is to go out and meet like-minded individuals. Get off the screen and meet people in the real world. I'm convinced that one of the primary goals of the lock down was to separate people physically, reduce chance encounters (cutting down on the possibility of meeting new people), and move most discourse online sphere where communication can be monitored and censored.

[–]johnnybravo[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I want to, trust me I do. I miss all my mates, we still talk but nothing like being together bantering.

[–]jykylsin2034 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Watch videos by The Golden One, take the Glorious Pill. Get jacked, read, be a real man.

[–]Views 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

This is what meditation is.

Meditation is not about some religious experience. At its heart, effective meditation is simply a technique. It is training. Meditation is the practice of doing precisely what you are hoping to learn to do.

You know that what you are currently doing hurts. You don't want to be like this anymore, which means you don't want to do this anymore. The only way to learn to do differently is to start new actions, to take the time to learn new skills. It requires effort; it requires time; there is no shortcut.

Meditation is the art of sitting still and quiet, and witnessing the chaos that is always present in our mind, without rejecting it or obsessing over it, but also without following it as our guide. This is very difficult to do, because our mind doesn't want to be told that it's not in control. When a thought occurs in our mind, the mind immediately wants to do that thing. Teaching your mind that it can no longer get away with this creates intense frustration initially. It does get better and easier after a time (months, years - not days, weeks).

Don't expect this to be easy. Sticking with a meditation regime for more than a few weeks requires extraordinary discipline, as it goes against so many of our natural instincts.

Good luck. We all need it.

[–]johnnybravo[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thank you Views. I remember meditation used to be so easy for me some 8-9 years ago. Now my mind literally cannot shut the fuck up. Still I'm going to try again

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Find a hobby.

[–]hfxB0oyA 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Get into music instead. Use Spotify or some other music service to listen though; not Youtube which will veer you off into other stuff. Keep the music in the background or, even better, on your stereo. A much better experience. Then, read a book, do the work you're supposed to be doing on your computer, etc.

[–]wristaction 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I know these feels.

If I knew how to conquer them I wouldn't be typing this now.

[–]johnnybravo[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

There is nothing that the internet can offer me. Typing 'I hate niggers' is no longer funny. Nothing seems real anymore. Life seems like a blur. I used to do so many things as child. Even when my mates weren't around, I'd go mess around in the backyard, sit in the living room, watch cartoons. Now every day is the same. Nothing makes me happy anymore. Fuck this lockdown, I hate it. If it weren't for the goddamn I'd be playing football with my mates right fucking NOW instead of dooming on some Mongolian basket weaving forum (not that I don't love you guys). I'm not suicidal but I can easily see how people would want to kill themselves in this shitty time to live.

[–][deleted] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

The Internet isn't here so you can type: "I hate niggers" and find joy in it. I can promise you that you never felt actual joy doing it, more of a sick pleasure. You created your life, man. You've let yourself over-identify with your thoughts, which are very negative it seems, and you allowed for these negative thoughts to lead you down a path towards... what? Endless Youtube videos? There is more going on than just this.

You made this bed by allowing yourself to identify with aspects of reality that are not healthy or life-affirming. People want to kill themselves because they identify with what people would've called demonic thoughts a few hundred years ago, but now these thoughts are to be treated as coming from you. There is no evidence for this.

Start questioning what you thought you knew, and check out s/consciousness. There exists men who feel no shame, guilt, or doubt. They are uplifted every day by the light that exists in them. They are not depressed, nor do they contemplate suicide. They accomplish many things while they are here.

You could be like that, but there is no clear road map to become like that. It takes such a constant effort that most do not even attempt to try. So, wallow in your self-pity if you want to stay where you are. Blame other people, even! If not, then question what you thought you knew and oppose life-negation. Today.

I used to think I'd live with clinical depression forever. I was told by Science(!) that I would have it forever. They lied, and I can tell you, life-affirmation is something that you must do for yourself, because the vast majority of humans are living deep into life-negation, and they will not be able to assist you. Take authority in your life, today. The Internet is literally a depository of information. Use it differently, and get off of Jewtube.

[–]johnnybravo[S] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Yep, I am not consistent in anything, losing motivation halfway. I have an ebook called 'Finish What You Start The Art of Following Through, Taking Action, Executing, Self-Discipline by Peter Hollins' which I have not even read a page of.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I would not read that book, but that is just me. Very few self-help books are worthwhile. Node and I gave you all the advice you need to get things going again in your life.