all 6 comments

[–]David_Allen_Cope1 6 insightful - 6 fun6 insightful - 5 fun7 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

I got you, bro. You're gonna need to consume a shitload of mentos and coke then immediately duct tape your mouth shut. The only problems after that are the gallons of foamy liquid shit and the prolapsed anus.

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 5 fun5 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Id try a strong magnet or a shopvac with the highest suction attachment. You might also try detonating an EMP inside your anus. You ought to use the butter or cooking oil too

[–]Enemycupcake 4 insightful - 5 fun4 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Lube your feet with the butter to make it more believable when you finally go to the hospital and try to tell them you slipped and fell on it

[–]dissidentrhetoric 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Some long pliers

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Laxative, laxative and more laxative. Shit that fucker out!

[–]JasonCarswell 1 insightful - 3 fun1 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Send in the reconnaissance hamsters.