all 20 comments

[–]brimshae 7 insightful - 6 fun7 insightful - 5 fun8 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

but who the fuck has a guillotine laying around.

You and I clearly hang out with different people. You also need cooler friends.

[–]IkeConn 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Buy a 22 pistol. It's what vets used before drugs and it is very fast when correctly applied. Do it in private especially if you live in a lefty area. You don't want a cruelty to animals charge.

[–]TaseAFeminist4Jesus 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

The pound by my house used to use carbon monoxide. They had an old small-block Chevy with its exhaust vented into the kill room and they'd just fire that bad boy up. Eventually local residents decided that felt ghetto and donated money for a little doggy electric chair (JK, they probably switched to drugs), but nobody ever argued about whether the exhaust method was inhumane. It is pretty humane.

[–]Herpa_Derpa_Island[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

dang, that actually is a pretty decent suggestion that I hadn't even considered at all.

[–]TaseAFeminist4Jesus 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I mean, it was good enough for our little redneck SPCA at least

[–]Herpa_Derpa_Island[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I've looked it up since then and apparently it once saw pretty widespread use in animal shelters.

[–]ID10T 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I hired a vet that does in home euthanasia when my old cat couldn't walk anymore. It cost $150 a few years ago. Well worth it to me to be able to hold him in my arms while he passed. It was instantaneous. As soon as they injected him I could feel he went lifeless. Seemed very peaceful and painless.

A gun to the back of the head is equivalent. I wouldn't want my pet's last experience be that of me choking them or anything they would feel.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Agreed, it's difficult enough to say goodbye to a pet without it being violent. Euthanasia is peaceful, even if it is expensive.

The only alternative I could think is a heavy dose of sedatives, it wouldn't suffer or be conscious of anything.

[–]Herpa_Derpa_Island[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I wouldn't want my pet's last experience be that of me choking them or anything they would feel.

it would take significantly less pressure to compress the arteries than to compress the airway, so it's not really accurate to equate it to a strangling. Granted, I've never actually done it before, but in my mind it seems like it would require so little force that there would be little difference from just embracing your pet around his neck until it was over.

[–]GeorgeCarlin 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'd break its neck. I don't know if this is done different with cats than with rabbits, though.

Maybe it is kind of harsh with a cat you lived long with. My next best way would be a crossbow. Definitely no quarrels with the neighbors.

Last but not least, I'd use a knife but read up on the anatomy of cats beforehand. So it doesn't have to suffer longer than required.

The only thing else, I can imagine is going executioner style. With a block and an axe big enough. With chicken, this is considerably easy.

I'd definitely tranquilize a cat beforehand.

[–]aHobbitsTale 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

JFC y'all need Jesus.

Let me expand on that. I'm a sexual sadist, and you all make me sick with your perverted ways to "peacefully" euthanize a beloved pet. One part ignorance, one part cruelty. Just as guilty, either way. I'm not going to feed you some trite line about consenting adult partners, which is a hard and fast rule for me, but we're not talking about people, least of all killing them, are we?

I and my partners do what we do because it brings us joy. Mis-wiring, in the brain, shall we say, but I guarantee you, no animal is as such.

[–]JasonCarswell 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Give or take a year, in 1978 my aunt carried a tray of food down the stairs to be eaten by pool outside. The food didn't make it - nor did my favourite kitten of the litter. I didn't see it but my father, a doctor, put the kitten out of its misery with a hammer - then, still in the brown paper bag, we buried the kitten and poured our new concrete front porch over it.

[–]iamonlyoneman 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

If you're willing to use CO2, a few lbs. of dry ice from the grocery store in a box with a pet would do the job.

Choking out your own pets is not as simple as it sounds. Even old, sick, weak ones will fight at the last.

Starting fluid spray (ether) will get 'em stoned enough to not kick much when their head goes in a bucket of water, or when they are being choked.

[–]aHobbitsTale 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Mammalian response to excess CO2 is not a pleasant way to go. It's not actually a deprivation of oxygen that causes autonomic arousal, it's an excess of CO2. Could we please curtail the sadism via ignorance?

[–]iamonlyoneman 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

Did you miss the bit about getting the animals high as a kite first?

[–]aHobbitsTale 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

"Not kick much."

Who's benefit is this for, again? You, or them?

[–]iamonlyoneman 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The wife, mostly. I'd be fine with giving 'em a 12 gauge 00 buck round to the head but she wouldn't like it.

[–]GeorgeCarlin 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

My dog never wanted to smoke joints when I offered.

But he liked beer. A lot.

[–]iamonlyoneman 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Dogs do be likin' beer.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Same way I'd kill myself if the need arose, a fatal dose of sodium nitrate, or breathing in nitrogen instead of atmosphere.

One of my cats died a very painful death while were trying to come up with the $300 the vet wanted years ago.