Who shall be my valentine?

submitted by Gravi from self.AskSaidIt

I 'aven't got a valentine (haven't for some years), who wants to be mine?

My benefits include - Loads of games (Steam - 600, Pc over 700, Ps3 and Xbox 360 games), Big King sized bed, loads of food (I'll share!!!) and uhh...... me!

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[–]Vulptex 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (8 children)

Does it include being kidnapped & tied to a chair or a pole in the basement? Or maybe you even have a dungeon you can chain me in?

[–]Gravi[S] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

Well.... if that is what you wish?...... I don't do these things usually.

[–]Vulptex 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

I was kind of joking. I'm not much of a valentine. I didn't mature right. I'm not even attracted to people, I get excited by certain situations, that one in particular. I don't have the slightest clue as to why. I have not even an inkling of a desire to look at porn, and I'm a young male (which is also a problem).

[–]Musky 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Have you ever gotten your testosterone checked?

[–]Vulptex 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

No but I wish I had less of it because it's very frustrating.

[–]SuckDonkeyPINGPONG 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Truth is you're not cut out for it.

https://youtu.be/7KldcLmynU4

[–]dicknipples 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Oh you old romantic...

[–]Vulptex 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It's not romantic at all, see my next reply.

[–]dicknipples 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

well darn - seriousness on Saidit

Hope you know that there are others with similar interests you could meet. See also:

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt9074574/

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Sorry, I already have a bitchboy named u/SuckDonkeyPINGPONG

[–]SuckDonkeyPINGPONG 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (9 children)

Isn't this hilarious? Little Mr satanic worshiper can't find a girlfriend, when in fact they are literally a dime a dozen.

Hint: it's not usually a selling point when you're trying to find a girlfriend to offer her video games.. I could suggest to you a few things that females typically look for in a partner, but you wouldn't listen.

Video: fan death - jealousy

https://youtu.be/4VCLMb8zBGM

[–]Gravi[S] 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (8 children)

Okay Feddy Eddy.

Go jerk off to your tranny pornography alone then.

[–][deleted]  (7 children)

[removed]

    [–]Gravi[S] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (6 children)

    Oh no, my feelings...... NO U!

    [–]SuckDonkeyPINGPONG 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

    You see the funny thing is is that when you when you imply that you don't have feelings do you seriously think that females find that to be attractive will homie you are wrong one thing that females really find attractive is when you are in touch with your feelings and you're in control of your feelings when you act like a snot-nosed little brat kid it's not typically very attractive to a female so I guess carry on.

    [–]Gravi[S] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

    You don't know me, how I act, what I do, you are judging me off of your experience on AN ANONYMOUS FORUM.

    [–]SuckDonkeyPINGPONG 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

    I'm pretty sure that I have a very good idea of how you behave because I get to watch you behave on a daily basis you're rude you're insensitive you prefer insults to having intelligent conversation and you're a broke ass gamer.

    Did I miss anything?

    [–]Gravi[S] 1 insightful - 3 fun1 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

    So are you gonna be my valentine or not? This is getting tedious.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [removed]

      [–]Gravi[S] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmOjOCK6Dnw

      [–]dicknipples 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (16 children)

      /u/jet199

      [–]SuckDonkeyPINGPONG 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (15 children)

      Gravy tried to tell me that jet only likes to talk to him cuz he has a huge penis, but I'm pretty sure that won't influence her at all.

      She's a nice girl and she's not going to be influenced by some hooligan with a monster penis.

      Happy Valentine's Day.

      https://youtu.be/uZRtcVuUnDo

      [–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (14 children)

      She's a nice girl and she's not going to be influenced by some hooligan with a monster penis.

      I am a hooligan with a monster penis, and I am very influential with the ladies

      [–][deleted]  (13 children)

      [removed]

        [–][deleted] 3 insightful - 4 fun3 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 4 fun -  (3 children)

        Its the other way around, Satan actually worships me. Satan is a Phooeyist

        [–][deleted]  (2 children)

        [removed]

          [–][deleted] 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

          I would smack Jesus in the face with my monster hooligan penis, and he would turn the other cheek

          [–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

          And you are confused again, I would never swear my life to anyone but ME

          [–][deleted] 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (4 children)

          My nipples are huge and really hard right now, is that normal?

          [–][deleted]  (2 children)

          [removed]

            [–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

            Non-Serviam (I will not serve) - Satan to God in Milton's Paradise Lost

            [–]legly 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

            ya

            [–][deleted] 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

            What do you like best about being my bitch?

            [–][deleted]  (2 children)

            [removed]

              [–][deleted] 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

              Masturbates furiously