How does one get their life back together, if said someone hypothetically is stuck with an addiction?

submitted by [deleted] from self.AskSaidIt

For more context, it's not that big a problem that the hypothetical person is going through, it's just a porn addiction, which leads to social anxiety, then to loneliness, to more porn as a cope. And hypothetically, that hypothetical person entered the internet at a young age, which now that person is a young adult.

All of this is hypothetical, of course.

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[–]Zapped 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Find others who have beat their addiction and see if it works for you.

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

That is probably gonna depend on a lot of circusmtances I don't know about you, but I'll do my best to give a generic answer that might be helpful.

In my experience you have to want something better for yourself badly enough that your willpower stands a chance, as well as address whatever problems you were using drugs/alcohol/whatever to deal with in the first place, or its likely you will end up right back where you started.

New positive habits to replace your old bad ones is also pretty important, you'll need new shit to do that you perceive as rewarding (I don't mean video games or other new addictions, I mean real interests/work/hobbies/relationships) to help rewire your brain to look for other ways to meet its needs that are going to make your life better rather than worse

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Best answer

[–]1Icemonkey 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

Jesus.

[–]In-the-clouds 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Amen! Addictions can be overcome by Jesus.

/u/Dennster101 and anyone else here reading: Addiction is a spiritual affliction. Did you know that Jesus died on the cross so that you could receive his help with all spiritual problems? He gave up the Holy Spirit at his death. So now, we can appeal to him through a simple prayer from any location, even alone, and ask him to help us overcome our addictions. He will help all that call on his name! His Spirit will do battle against your spiritual problems if you ask him to.

Whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved.

[–]jet199 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

You need a group of supportive people around you.

[–]JasonCarswell 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (6 children)

  • Avoid "anti"depressants. Consider CBT, cognitive behaviour therapy.
  • Take 12500iu of vitamin D and some ginseng every day.
  • Make a short daily to-do list (make bed, brush teeth, etc) and accomplish all of them every day, gradually adding more to this list.
  • Make good habits with intention, not bad habits by default. Foster discipline, but don't beat yourself up about it.
  • Make another short to-do list of stuff to accomplish and work on it.
  • Make a long term goals list.
  • Make priorities and determine what is important to you. Find related ways to work on these. Find meaning, purpose, fulfillment, and joy in manifesting these.
  • Find ways to work/volunteer to make these happen. The people you do this with will have these in common. (ie. freedom is important, join freedom action and prepper groups)
  • Take pride in accomplishments, great or small, towards improving yourself. Appreciate it, make it fun, revel in it, thrive.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (4 children)

This one is actually surprisingly good, but too much Vitamin D. I'm impressed Jason

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

This one is actually surprisingly good, but too much Vitamin D. I'm impressed Jason

Not sure on that dose, but vitamin D deficiency is highly correlated with depression, as you say this actually quite decent advice.

[–]JasonCarswell 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

I came back here and read the others - your comment was great too.

I take 12500iu of vitamin D daily in the winter, 10000iu in the summer (5x + 4x 2500ui pills), 2x K2 + D3 pills (120mcg+1000iu), 2x chewable B12 under my tongue, at least one Siberian Ginseng and Korean Red Ginseng, some pain relief for my back - all daily. I'd rather have too much D than too little. It seems to make all the difference to me. Wish I'd known about this a LONG time ago.

cc /u/elchupacabra

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

After doing a little reading, that dosage seems perfectly reasonable and safe. In the actual scientific literature there isnt evidence of hypercalcemia in adults until around 50,000+IU (too much vitamin D makes you hold onto calcium in your blood), and even then only after several months of that dose. 10-12K appears to be well with the safe range, as there doesnt appear to be any evidence that harm can occur from such a dose, despite people regularly taking this amount. The NIH recommended max of 4K per day seems based on an assumption that it should be sufficient to get you in the recommended range (NIH assumptions are always questionable), rather than there being any actual evidence of harms from doses exceeding the recommendation.

u/elchupacabra

[–]JasonCarswell 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

> (NIH assumptions are always questionable)

Indeed.

I think they're keeping it down on purpose - for the "anti"depressant industry.

I might take 20k for a while to see if it makes any difference.

[–]JasonCarswell 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Also, play intentionally productive mind games with yourself. If you're often having thought about a negative (drugs, depression, an ex, etc), develop ways to 1) catch yourself, and 2) distract yourself in ways that last longer and longer. One way is to come up with thoughts and/or actions you MUST perform before you proceed with what you were doing when you caught yourself. For example, you catch yourself thinking negatively, so you MUST stand up and go to your kitchen look in your fridge while listing your top 10 movies out loud - then proceed whatever you were doing. Hopefully you've forgotten. The tasks can be more productive or ambitious (ie. walk around the block without your phone - away from drugs, return tired and ready for a nap), and you can change out the top 10 lists (movies, games, TV, girlfriends, whatever) for other positive ideas of interest or meaning.

[–]Canbot 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

TOTAL.

LIFE.

CHANGE

Change everything about your life that you can. Move cities. Work nights. Find a new obsession. Start a new family.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Decent answer if he has the means, but I'd caution against filling the void with a hasty long-term commitment as his mind still isn't clear. OP is going to want to give himself options in the long run.

[–]PriestTheyCalledHim 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

If you cannot stop on your own or have lots of fuck ups or relapses go to rehab, NA/AA, as it will get you around people who are now sober addicts, work with a sponsor, and be open to change and bettering yourself. Think of sobriety as a gift to yourself.

Also delete your dealer/drug buddies #s or contact information or stop seeing them socially.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Also you should do what you can to reduce your total stress, as the drugs are almost certainly a coping mechanism of some sort for another or more likely a myriad of other stressors.

Your environment is fucking filthy? Sweep. Throw away excess garbage. It's an improvement and you will feel more relaxed in a cleaner environment.

That sort of thing.

[–]cottoneyejoe 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I wish I could help but just don't have the life experience to know what to say; one thing that helped me when I was at a real low point was running.

Please get help.

https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline

https://www.addictiongroup.org/treatment/addiction-hotline/

https://drughelpline.org/

https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/drug-addiction/drug-abuse-hotline/

[–]LarrySwinger2 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Ask /u/Melodic_Programmer.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You're going to need a reason to change if you actually expect to stick with it. Since addiction hijacks the reward system in the brain, you're going to have to think meta-cognitively here. Even though you WANT to change, you're going to feel strong desires not to because your brain is conditioned to feel that reward.

New friends who are bettering themselves as well or are working toward some productive goal are important. If you don't have a degree and your life is really in tatters, consider going to university (**edit to add: don't hang out with the party kids. Find the passionate nerds who are still fun to joke around with. Studying in a group, even if you're all just sitting together working on separate things, is a lot easier to motivate yourself to do than studying alone).

I've found it very helpful to cultivate a love of learning for it's own sake, and to foster a natural curiosity in yourself. As much as like-minded and determined friends will help, if you don't have those self-directed goals, it's not going to last. And it could be dangerous to try to fill that void with a romantic relationship right away.

I'm not going to lie. You're going to have to suffer through the cravings, depression, boredom, anxiety, etc. But the longer you stick it out, the weaker those negative feelings will get.

The more you do drugs, the more you will want to do drugs. So just hold out as long as you can, don't get demotivated when you fuck up, because no matter what, if you stick to this, your drug use will be on a net trajectory downward.

You've got this bro. Godspeed