Does the Bible allow a husband to spank his wife?

submitted by calmbluejay from self.BiblicalSubmission

(( The full article is here: https://biblicalgenderroles.com/2016/09/20/does-the-bible-allow-a-husband-to-spank-his-wife/ ))

The practice of wife spanking continued to be common practice in America well into the 1950s. It was portrayed in old films and TV shows right up to the 1970s. It was during the 1960s and 1970s with second wave feminism that the “Domestic Violence” movement attempted to eradicate wife spanking completely from American society. Wife spanking would of course return as as sexual type of fun, but it was never to be used as actual discipline by a husband toward his wife.

While the Bible does not specifically speak to wife spanking (either specifically allowing it or specifically condemning it) we must ask the question “Are there general principles of the Scriptures that would speak to this issue?” The answer is YES.

Principle #1 – Husbands Have a Right and Responsibility to Discipline their Wives

The Bible tells us that husbands are the head of their wives “as Christ is the head of the Church”:

“23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.”

Ephesians 5:23-24 (KJV)

Not only are husbands the head of their wives as Christ is the head of the Church but God created marriage to model the relationship of Christ to his Church. Husbands are to model Christ’s headship over his Church by loving their wives as Christ loves the Church. One of the primary ways in which Christ loves his Church is in his spiritual washing of her:

“25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.”

Ephesians 5:25-27 (KJV)

This spiritual washing by Christ of the spots and wrinkles of his Church is discipline. Christ alludes to this same concept in the book of Revelation after rebuking his seven Churches:

“As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.”

Revelation 3:19 (KJV)

So, it is clear from the Scriptures that if a husband is modeling the relationship of Christ to his Church with his wife he has not only the right, but also the responsibility of spiritual disciplining his wife.

Principle #2 – God Allows Physical Punishment As A Form Of Discipline

The Bible tells us that God approves physical punishment as a form of discipline in the following passages:

“He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.”

Proverbs 13:24 (KJV)

“13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. 14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.”

Proverbs 23:13-14 (KJV)

“If there be a controversy between men, and they come unto judgment, that the judges may judge them; then they shall justify the righteous, and condemn the wicked. 2 And it shall be, if the wicked man be worthy to be beaten, that the judge shall cause him to lie down, and to be beaten before his face, according to his fault, by a certain number. 3 Forty stripes he may give him, and not exceed: lest, if he should exceed, and beat him above these with many stripes, then thy brother should seem vile unto thee.”

Deuteronomy 25:1-3 (KJV)

“Judgments are prepared for scorners, and stripes for the back of fools.”

Proverbs 19:29 (KJV)

“A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool’s back.”

Proverbs 26:3 (KJV)

As we can see from these passages of the Scripture – not only is physical discipline approved by God for children but it is also approved by God for adults.

When we take these two Biblical principles together we see that God has given men both the right and responsibility to discipline their wives and God approves of physical discipline for adults. Therefore, we can rightly conclude from these two Biblical truths that God allows men to spank their wives.

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[–]ApronedWife 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Thank you for saying this. It's a controversial idea even within the Christian community, but I've found my myself much more feminine and submissive since my husband began disciplining me, and it's improved our relationship immensely. It may just be my own experience, but I wish it were easier to convince other couples to try it out. Most wives I know are put off just by their initial impression of the idea to give it any real consideration.

[–]calmbluejay[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

The problem is we often see things with modern secular eyes instead of biblical eyes. Yes, having your husband spank you is controversial because it's not specifically mentioned in the bible. However, we're supposed to submit to him and discipline is something that the bible makes very clear that all of us need. So when I do something wrong I don't have a problem submitting to his authority and it's honestly a lot easier just to take the spanking. We get off easy on this one but husbands are obligated to punish themselves and self-punishment can go on for days, weeks or even years.

[–]ApronedWife 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Yes, it feels very natural to submit to him, even if he wants to discipline me. I definitely think it's easier for us wives who can follow and be disciplines by a strong authority rather than having to do so to ourselves. Like the article says, domestic discipline was natural for centuries until feminism came in and changed things. I've noticed the more feminist changes I roll back in my own life the better I feel and the better my marriage is.

[–]calmbluejay[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm not even going to try and challenge my husband's authority. I know my faults and I know I'm going to make mistakes but I'm going to trust my man and let him lead.

[–]stallfedcalf 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Husbands are the head of the family like Christ is the Head of the Church. I sure hope to never be "spanked" by Him. It's difficult to reconcile your points with Genesis, where it says the two shall become "one flesh." The wife was created to be a help-mate, not a subordinate.

Another verse that comes to mind is 1 Peter 3:7, where husbands are instructed to treat their wife as to the weaker vessel with honor, that their prayers aren't hindered. Again, not sure that reconciles with 'spanking" them. Just my two cents.

[–]calmbluejay[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I'm not very eloquent with my words and I seldom can explain anything very well. However, I think the article I linked to said it best.

" Spanking no more infantilizes a woman than a speeding ticket from a police officer infantilizes a man. Adults can and do discipline other adults all the time.

But some will answer my police officer giving a ticket analogy with “a speeding ticket is a piece of paper and the officer is not bending you over his knee and spanking you”. The reason for this kind of answer is because in our modern culture we look on any type of physical punishment with disdain. We think physical punishment, especially toward adults is “uncivilized”.

[–]stallfedcalf 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

You be you. I respect that but disagree with the stance.

[–]calmbluejay[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That's your right. There are no rules in my sub that demand absolute agreement.

The only thing I will say is that I'm careful to not be imposing our Christian marital standards on others. So it's equally wise that people that disagree with those standards not try to impose their precepts on people like my husband and I.