I've been in situations where people are fully aware, and in situations where nobody is. I've been in situations where I'm intentionally vague or misleading about my dating history, and situations where I'm honest if it happens to come up. But the older I get, the more likely I am to just avoid the conversation entirely and bask in my own anonymity.
I was having a conversation the other day, and I mentioned that I'm a bit jealous of the gay community because they have much more freedom interacting with women without being seen as predatory or a potential harassment, and they can simply interact without observers jumping to conclusions (because men and women could never just be friends). Of course I've always taken for granted the fact that male friends are never seen as anything other than friends, and I realized that if I'm out in any given environment, chances are I get a raw deal from both ends.
It sucks if you're interested in someone and want to be clear about it, but I think the potential for just being seen as friendly vs sexually interested is a huge benefit to keeping your sexuality to yourself, or fibbing to fit the environment you're in. I have absolutely said I'm gay in order to break tensions in the past, and while it sucks, in the moment it's worth the dishonesty. It also comes with a whole other set of baggage when someone thinks you just want to lay everyone in sight. So, do you keep things close to the vest, or do you let everyone know?
[–]usehername 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun - (0 children)
[–]PeakingPeachEater 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun - (3 children)
[–]ElectricSheep[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun - (2 children)
[–]PeakingPeachEater 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun - (1 child)
[–]ElectricSheep[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun - (0 children)