Why does bisexuality get de-legitimized so much?

submitted by dgsf from self.Bisexuals

When it comes to homosexuality, despite facing a lot of hatred and bigotry, I have really never seen anyone, no matter how bigoted, make the claim that it doesn't exist. Why then, do you see so many bigoted straights say that bisexuality isn't real? And why do you also see bigoted gays and lesbians make the same assertion?

The two forms of it I always see are:

-"Bisexuals are just straight people who are either trying to be hip or watched too much porn"

and

-"Bisexuals are just gay people who can't come to terms with their homosexuality and are pretending to have heterosexual tendencies"

Both of which are INFURIATINGLY WRONG! So why is it that these beliefs are so unfortunately common? what causes people to believe it and why don't you ever see the same kind of misconceptions being directed at gays and lesbians?

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[–]PatsyStone 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

When it comes to homosexuality, despite facing a lot of hatred and bigotry, I have really never seen anyone, no matter how bigoted, make the claim that it doesn't exist.

Decades of campaigning in media have largely done away with this, but it used to be a common belief and you can still find many conservative Christians who don't believe there's such a thing as sexual orientation. Just behavior and urges you act on.

I think it all boils down to money and social status. Both groups want to define us in ways that protect their own financial stability and marriages (marriage= social status, stability, and stable wealth.) The fundamental problem we cause to the system is instability- we aren't predictable. Beyond the fact that we will mostly marry the opposite sex, anything we do around that is up in the air and could possibly cost the heteros and the homos $$$$$. Better to pretend we aren't real and discourage us from branching out too much.

[–]PenseePansy 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I think that it comes down to monosexism.

Basically, because most people (heterosexuals and homosexuals) are monosexual-- attracted exclusively to one sex-- they make the assumption that sexual orientation itself is inherently monosexual. Not just for them, but by definition. Therefore, bisexuality cannot be a sexual orientation, which means... it doesn't exist. So all evidence to the contrary must be explained away. By recasting bisexuals as either straight or gay, and their motivation for bisexual behavior as anything BUT sexual orientation.

Also, at least in this one respect, heterosexuals and homosexuals usually stick together: they may not agree on much else, but share a tendency to be biased in favor of their mutual sexuality... and against our own.

[–]usehername 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

most people (heterosexuals and homosexuals) are monosexual-- attracted exclusively to one sex-- they make the assumption that sexual orientation itself is inherently monosexual

Bisexuals are also guilty of the reverse of this.

[–]PatsyStone 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

You can see that with the superstraight movement. Their big innovation is to tell trans people "I'm sorry, I'm not capable of being attracted to you, it's not possible for me, I'm superstraight." I pointed out to a gay guy on the main sub that that fucks over bis and he didn't have an answer for me.

"Superbi" can't use that reasoning to get out of attraction to trans people, the messaging these people are sending to trans is that they should target bi since bis can't say no.

[–]usehername 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It doesn't fuck over bis, it just doesn't include them. Or, you could go with MarkJefferson's interpretation.

[–]MarkJefferson 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think the Supersexualities were about only being attracted to people who identify as their birth sex. That doesn't leave out Bisexuals at all.

This is what the Lord creator of SuperStraight said in the original tik tok video:

I'm SuperStraight! I only date the opposite gender; Women- that are born women.

The Bi version would simply be:

I'm SuperBi! I only date the opposite and same gender; Women- that are born women. Men- that are born men.

Done. No trans included. I think many Supers misinterpreted the original video and needlessly projected their own personalized desires on to it. And many Bi's(myself included), already feeling chronically left out of many other things, automatically went along with other people's flawed interpretations, all too ready to be left out in the cold again. The video and info about the progenitor of the movement being scrubbed and gaslit away didn't help matters.

So you can't say I'm transphobic now, because that's just my sexuality!

The fact is, that there is what being a SuperSexual means. NO dating delusional TRANS.... and possibly crazy enbies?(one can hope)

P.S. Yeah... they can easily identify out of Trans to get a chance at Bi's. But we know they won't because they are stubborn af narcissists and will lose their biggest sexual turn-on; Pretending to be the opposite sex.

[–]MarkJefferson 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's a limitation of perspective. The single-sex attracted(monosexuals) can have a harder time wrapping their heads around the attraction to both sexes and aversion to none, as they lived with this aversion their whole lives. Kind of like how Bisexuals may not fully understand the gay and straight repulsion to one sex or the other due to their personal experiences liking both. Due to the former limitation, gays and straights can have an inclination to "round" Bi's up or down(to 0 or 6 on the Kinsey scale if you follow that metric) to align people they encounter to a more easily understandable 'black and white' worldview. In which direction they round depends on how "gay" or "straight" the person presents(who they have relationships with, how gnc they are, which sex they say they prefer), what sex they are(males are more likely to be rounded-up than females if they express/demonstrate same-sex attraction), and the mindset the monosexual has towards bisexuals in general and their larger motives/agenda/hang-ups. It's not always a case of someone being bigoted.

-"Bisexuals are just straight people who are either trying to be hip or watched too much porn"

and

-"Bisexuals are just gay people who can't come to terms with their homosexuality and are pretending to have heterosexual tendencies"

Anyone who says either doesn't view bisexuality as a real sexuality and so are ignorant or plain biphobic.

So why is it that these beliefs are so unfortunately common? what causes people to believe it and why don't you ever see the same kind of misconceptions being directed at gays and lesbians?

In addition to what I wrote above, I'll point out that homosexuals have very well established cultures and definitions that are already heavily imprinted in the public consciousness(The former almost to a fault because it's now very hard to move away from any of the more negative aspects of gay culture). In contrast, Bisexual culture is relatively underdeveloped due to a much later start, with development being mostly stalled out by the Trans surge, and therefore highly misunderstood and underrecognized like the middle child of the LGBT.

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm late to the party, and I've said this before but it bears repeating here.

A lot of it I think, in addition to what's been said already, has to do with the large amount of gays and lesbians who start off calling themselves bi before they realize they're gay. This solidifies the idea in most people's minds that bisexuality isn't real and that people can only be either heterosexual or homosexual.

There's also porn. Many gay porn videos have 'straight guy/str8' in the title because it's not 'hot' if the guy is bi and genuinely attracted to his gay best friend who gets to suck him off. It's only hot if it's a 'straight' guy being convinced or coerced into it. Nevermind that an actual straight man would never put himself in that situation, let alone allow it to be filmed.

On the female side of things, bisexual women aren't really seen as having genuine attraction to both sexes. We are seen as a gateway to threesomes for creepy straight guys and bored straight couples looking to 'spice things up'. If we actually date a woman seriously, that's when the homophobia comes out and it's not hot anymore, it's 'weird' and 'i didn't know you were a lesbian'.

[–]usehername 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Sorry to necro but:

When it comes to homosexuality, despite facing a lot of hatred and bigotry, I have really never seen anyone, no matter how bigoted, make the claim that it doesn't exist.

Actually, most homophobes believe that homosexuals are secretly bisexual, meaning that they are capable of being attracted to the opposite sex as well.

I know these misconceptions are frustrating, but the fact is, bi people haven't come together politically to try to dispel these false notions, and often are the ones spreading the misinformation.