all 68 comments

[–]Nani 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

It definitely isn't very helpful for me (f). I tend to be attracted to more masculine people, but if you put a butch woman against a masculine male I'd probably pick the woman.

[–]wendyokoopa1 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)


[–]Rag3 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Doesn’t apply to me. I knew I was bi without it. Then I found out about it… then I learned about the history of Kinsey’s studies. 😬

[–]usehername[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh no... what history...

[–]wendyokoopa1 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (13 children)

I don't anymore because sometimes I think I truly do have a bi cycle. Sometimes I think I want a man then I think I want a woman and I don't know anymore.

[–]usehername[S] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (12 children)

Can you just tell me what that means? I've never experienced anything remotely like a "bi cycle".

See, I'll often see hot women, but I'm still also attracted to men, even though the kinds I find attractive are rare. And I don't sit around craving the other when I'm in a relationship. I credit my stability to the fact that I don't "switch roles" when I'm with men or women, I'm still going to fuck them the same way even if the mechanics are different. I think that instead of some biological bi cycle, people are just changing their minds about the kind of dynamic they want in a relationship and projecting that onto potential partners.

Is that how you feel? What's the difference between men and women for you?

[–]Elvira95 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (6 children)

Interesting, sorry for getting in, since I'm not bi. But what it means fucking both the same why? Like you using a strap with both of them. An why seeing sex as wanting control or being controlled? Why not equality and mutual pleasurable. I do like more to being in control,the active, the giver, but I do like a mix of both and equal relationship (except with strap, if ever used I will only be the giver). I despise the mentality of seeing sex in fixed role when someone dominate the other, it's fucked up and abusive, and americans especially do have this culture of seeing sex in power play between people, rather than mutual equal pleasure.

[–]wendyokoopa1 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

Yes it is. Last night I started fantasizing about an old male crush after fantasizing about women.

[–]usehername[S] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

Well it's possible to have the same dynamic with both a man and a woman. And I'm not into masculine people, but my unsolicited advice is that a masculine woman will most likely be less toxic than a masculine man.

And you can have the dynamic as long as its equal and doesn't get too extreme.

I think it's normal to want things sexually that you know intellectually aren't in your best interests, and the only solution I can see is self-control. Easier said than done.

[–]wendyokoopa1 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

Yeah sure is. Why I started to leave dating men though was toxicity. I felt like they were pawing at me and over time I just stopped finding them attractive

[–]usehername[S] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Was it their desperation that was a turn-off? And the entitlement?

[–]wendyokoopa1 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

The thirst yes, combined with many negative experiences combined with an on and off attraction to women.

[–]uuwotuwotm8 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, I'm a guy but it's pretty much the same way, just with the numbers flipped. I would have considered myself a 3 back in the 00s when feminine guys (emo/scene/etc) were all the rage, but now I'd probably be a 1 or 2 since they're much less common now.

I think instead of a single-axis scale it should have two axes, one for the range of masculinity/femininity you like in the same sex and one for the range you like in the opposite. You could then use those two ranges to draw a rectangle on a graph. Mine would be a short range on the feminine side for guys and a wide-ish range in the middle for women.

[–]wendyokoopa1 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (54 children)

hey new to the sub. I just retook the kinsey test on myself as I hadn't taken it in awhile and according to it I have strong lesbian tendancies now.

[–]usehername[S] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (27 children)

Lol since I'm this fucked, are you interested in feminine guys?

I'm a woman and I only like feminine people in general. So do you only like feminine people or are you looking for the rare masculine person who isn't toxic?

[–]wendyokoopa1 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I mostly dated masculine guys.

[–]wendyokoopa1 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (25 children)

mostly dated masculine guys, and for women I don't know.

[–]usehername[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (24 children)

Well you'll probably find out lol. If you live in a decent-sized city you can use apps to meet women like Her or even Tinder isn't too bad. Do you prefer your partner to take control or do you like to take control?

[–]wendyokoopa1 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (23 children)

her at first

[–]usehername[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (22 children)

Do you see yourself marrying a woman?

[–]wendyokoopa1 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (21 children)

yes at times I do

[–]usehername[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (20 children)

Is there any reason at all you'd prefer to marry a man or are you like "fuck no" lol

[–]wendyokoopa1 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (19 children)

no men not anymore.

[–]usehername[S] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (18 children)

Well there's a sub for bi women who don't want to date men and call themselves FEBfems (female-exclusive bisexual females) s/FEBfems. But it's dead and they're probably all radfems.

[–]usehername[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (22 children)

And what do you feel like your result describes? The percentage of people who are your type and also women, or your own propensity for women (based on them being female)?

[–]wendyokoopa1 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (21 children)

I think it describes for me anyways how I've shifted. I used to think I was a strong possibility for being a strong bisexual not lesbian.

[–]usehername[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (20 children)

Sorry I just want to be clear, you're bisexual with a strong preference for women, right?

[–]wendyokoopa1 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (19 children)

yes. Lately it's become that way.

[–]usehername[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (18 children)

But you thought you were a lesbian before? Or you just didn't lean towards women that much?

[–]wendyokoopa1 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (17 children)

just didn't learn towards women that much. I primarily dated and was mostly attracted to men. my last relationship was with a man but growing up I had a curiousity towards women and a partial attraction but never dated one.

[–]usehername[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (16 children)

And what changed? Was your ex a complete cock lol

[–]wendyokoopa1 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (15 children)

that and there's just something about women I can't quite put my finger on. Since high school I've always had an on and off fascination with lesbian love making. I've always wanted to experience a woman.

[–]usehername[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (14 children)

What kind of women do you like? I'm not trying to be creepy lol but I'm just curious because bisexuals are so varied and this is a sub about sexuality after all