First of all: Hello Saidit! This is my first post. Sorry if I'm breaking any rules or decorum; I'm a longtime yet inconsistent lurker.

Anyways, I have a disturbing habit. As soon as I feel any iota of attraction for a female friend, I nip those feelings in the bud and deny them completely. I feel fear and disgust, like I shouldnt be feeling this way. I cannot allow these feelings to grow. This has been happening since childhood. The problem is, I don't do this with male friends. I'm completely okay with being attracted to them. I'm completely okay with being attracted to women I'm not friends with. I know falling in love with a friend is common, no matter your sexual orientation, so I'm feeling pretty conflicted about my fear of that regarding female friends.

Do any of you guys also feel reluctant to "feel" for your friends that are the same sex as you, even if you are legitimately attracted to them? A feeling like crushing on them is wrong? Or am I crazy?