Personally I've dedicated a good part of my time trying to develop a healthy personality. I'm a military brat so I grew up appreciating male characteristics like courage, patriotism and determination. Yet when it comes to actually acting in such ways around other people, I find it kind of hard. When I face a problem at work, I think about showing confidence in the face of adversity yet even adults won't tolerate such behaviour. I can't speak for females, but I was wondering if it was the same for you when trying to show off your feminity? It's almost like many of the things that a person could call an "identity" or "persona" are being attacked. Humour is used in a lot of the media people are exposed to in order to normalize psychological abuse and eventually, people become too scared like to try out different things out of fear of being ridiculed.
It's not just gender identities. Even moral, religious, cultural and national identities are being attacked through ridicule.
Since a lot of men can't act the way our brains are wired to work, they end up becoming frustrated and cynical towards society and stop trying to fix it. The constant violence people are exposed to surely makes things worse since they are also likely to become mentally unstable. Personally, after trying out many types, I chose a stoic personality since it allows me to keep myself and others under control. I'm not the type of person who can trust someone right away, I need to know what their motivations are first. But since creating that kind of bond is difficult in the modern, accelerated age, I rather keep distance from others. The constant attacks on the "personas" surely doesn't help either, so by being stoic I can both keep people away and yet have power over them at the same time. By practicism healthy amounts of stoicism I can act "manly" and have power over others this way. I think that because of the isolation people are exposed to in the modern age, this kind of role model is needed for people to develop healthy personalities instead of so much attention being given to politicians and celebrities.