all 9 comments

[–]TumbleweedFireflies 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

I'm sorry, but I don't have any answers for dating since I'm in an LTR.

But for friendships, I've found that I connect best with people in real life, in neutral non-LGB and non-hobby places. I know, that's the exact opposite of what everyone says to do, they say to find like-minded people through like-minded engagements, and especially utilize the resources of the internet. I have very very rarely found that to work out though. I've been doing this since before the WWW was even a thing, and of all the online peeps I've met since the early 90s, less than a handful are still in my life.

Online, we can pretend to be whoever or whatever we want to be. We can pretend our own glaring red flags don't exist or minimize them, and just hyper-focus on the other person. We can make excuses for the other person too, by over-thinking individual words and analyzing them to the death, instead of seeing the bigger picture they present about who they are.

But in real life, we don't have the luxury of delays and a screen/shield. We can't delete the words that come out of our mouths, and we have immediate consequences for what we say and how we act. So as people, we have to be more thoughtful and precise ... or at the very least, more transparent about our thoughts and feelings and beliefs.

I'm an introverted person, and I take the "watch and wait" approach through work. I fucking hate small talk with a passion, but it's a necessary evil. I let other people talk, and make minor chit-chat to show them I'm a willing participant ... that encourages them to open up and express themselves more when we're alone or in small groups. And because of that, I find people I can connect with on issues that aren't LGB/TRA/gender at all. You can get a feel for how someone will approach the more sensitive/no-no topics by hearing how they parent their kids, or their frustrations with friends or family over the weekend, things like that. I don't have children so I can't relate to parents as parents, but I can relate to them with how I grew up, or things I appreciated as a kid, or what I wished my parents recognized about me to make things better. We find commonality in shared life values, and that helps us accept each other in other areas we may not have considered previously.

[–]shinnygummy 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Are you a febfem yourself? Can you tell us about some of your personal experiences with it?

[–]Bipassxx[S] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

Thank you. I will try some of those things. I hope one day this gender cult will see an end .

[–]TumbleweedFireflies 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

You're welcome, and I hope it helps! I don't have all the answers, not by any stretch of the imagination, and can only share about my own observations and experiences.

I have faith that one day the gender cult will come to an end too, I'm with you sister!

[–]wendyokoopa1 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Same.

[–]wendyokoopa1 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The op of this sounds exactly like me. Even gaming has been taken over by the trans menace. I was In a discord server for gaming females and most of the women In there were trans men. Like fuck? I came here to meet bio females for friends and maybe dating.

[–]CleoMarie 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

I can tolerate people with different opinions, so personally I wouldn't stop connecting with someone who believes in gender bullshit. But they would have to be tolerant to my gender critical views also. If we can both put the politics aside then we can work it out.

[–]Bipassxx[S] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Good luck. Genderists/TRAs do not tolerate anyone who disagrees with gender ideology and will ruin your life for not believing in their cult.

[–]CleoMarie 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That's a likely scenario. Anyone who is passionate about trans rights would sooner cut me off than me doing it. Because I would not hide my opinions.