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[–]Lane3723 99 insightful - 8 fun99 insightful - 7 fun100 insightful - 8 fun -  (4 children)

You and I share very similar backgrounds. I am on the spectrum, fell into the thrall of Queer Theory at community college, and socially transitioned despite having little to no dysphoria (only internalized misogyny).

My heart aches for you being swept into this by people around you who you should have been able to trust. I know that feeling because I lived it.

GC was 100% what saved me from the point of no return. I found so much solace in that place and to see it taken away feels like a punch in the gut. I, and many others here and on other platforms, are here for you. If you ever need to chat, I'm just a DM away :)

We can get through this together, sister!

[–]blahblahgcer[S] 27 insightful - 1 fun27 insightful - 0 fun28 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Thank you <3 I'm so glad I'm not alone! <3

[–]Zednix 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

May I ask you to define what you felt or thought as internalized misogyny? I've seen that term bandied about before but struggle to understand and see it as more than nonsense.

[–]slushpilot 24 insightful - 2 fun24 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

You can loosely translate it as self-loathing or a lack of respect for yourself. Often by starting to believe in what you think men want from you, and shaping yourself into that self-image for the sake of men—or else the other extreme of denying your own womanhood because of what it entails.

[–]Scolopendra 76 insightful - 2 fun76 insightful - 1 fun77 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

If I'd have been born ten years later I could have been sat there writing out the exact same thing. I'm on the spectrum and I can see very clearly how places like GC could single-handedly save an autistic child from being medically misguided into mutilating their bodies and potentially destroying their natural human psychiatric growth.

This. Movement. Is. Horrifying.

This is a mass gaslighting that preys on the vulnerable, we can't afford to be silent. We're standing on the precipice of a mental and physical health crisis where peoples only options are to double down on this sunk fallacy of being sold a new identity and desperately try to fit it OR to admit the harm they've undergone willingly and face down the screams of nit-picking arseholes if they dare to tell their story and, heaven forbid, claim that transition might not always work out.

[–]High_and_Lonesome 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I was worried that I was too harsh with what I wrote in this thread. But then I scrolled down and read this.

You're even harsher, honey. And I love all of it. You are so right!

[–]aldoushuxleyghost 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Truth. The harsh reality is hard to admit let alone deal with. I weep and rage for the young today.

[–]newguy 58 insightful - 5 fun58 insightful - 4 fun59 insightful - 5 fun -  (9 children)

/r/egg_irl is literally a mental illness cultivator. I saw a post a couple days ago "Have you ever played a video game character of the opposite sex? Then you're probably trans and just don't realize it yet!" with 100 comments in strong agreement and no opposing comments.

[–]blahblahgcer[S] 24 insightful - 2 fun24 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, that sub got me. I feel so dumb for falling for it.

[–]SilverKidia 20 insightful - 2 fun20 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I started playing male chars on MMORPGs because it protected me from rape threats I was getting when I played as a female character...

[–]womenopausal 7 insightful - 9 fun7 insightful - 8 fun8 insightful - 9 fun -  (2 children)

I played the Witcher 3 twice. Uh-oh.

[–]aldoushuxleyghost 17 insightful - 12 fun17 insightful - 11 fun18 insightful - 12 fun -  (1 child)

Sweet zombie jesus, lolz. I'm a gamer, who is also a frumpy middle-aged mom of teens and proud of it. I always play a sexy-santa type male (and yes the Witcher 3 was the best game evermade) because that is what I want to look at. Husband always plays a female. Guess we're an ultimate trans power couple now.

[–]Lemonade_Masquerade 12 insightful - 13 fun12 insightful - 12 fun13 insightful - 13 fun -  (0 children)

A man who plays female characters married to a woman who plays male characters? Welcome to the queer(tm) community! Please get your updated pride flag (now including the trans flag shoving itself into the rainbow) at the door. Feel free to act as superior to those "cishets" as you desire. Enjoy your stay.

[–]denverkris 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

jfc, are you shitting me? I've been playing mostly male characters since i started playing video games. I'm also REALLY gnc. And you know what that makes me? A woman, just like every other woman. Different in my own way, but still the same.

and, you know good and well that you can't offer any opposing opinion.

[–]TheFemMyst 48 insightful - 1 fun48 insightful - 0 fun49 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I am sorry for everyone here. I am a lesbian and there is no space for me anymore, even on dating apps. Speaking to your group transitioning--that is unit cohesion. That is seen in military as well. I read an article by a psychiatrist today talking about the number of people detransitioning right now who had to go home and leave college during the pandemic.This is not due to access to hormones or meds, or parents--the people stated they sat with their feelings and realized the pressures were coming from the outside world, and after reflecting internally, transitioning was an escape measure from other issues going on.


Hang in there. You still have a home.

[–]asneakingsuspicion 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Can you share a link to the article?

[–]StupidHappyPancakes 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Unfortunately, I wouldn't be surprised if the number of people starting to transition has ALSO gone up during the pandemic as people are stuck inside ruminating and seeking validation from the internet all day.

[–]radfemanon 40 insightful - 2 fun40 insightful - 1 fun41 insightful - 2 fun -  (6 children)

Welcome sister to our NEW space!

Just goes to show you that they banned us because they can't handle the truth. You can see it for the smoke and mirrors trans ideology is, and that takes courage and strength!

We won't go down without a fight! We are strong and they can't stop us!

[–]blahblahgcer[S] 33 insightful - 3 fun33 insightful - 2 fun34 insightful - 3 fun -  (5 children)

Yes!! I feel ready to fight now!

Although I can't believe /r/GenderCriticalGuys is still allowed to be up but GC got banned. How interesting.......

[–]radfemanon 26 insightful - 5 fun26 insightful - 4 fun27 insightful - 5 fun -  (4 children)

I wonder what the difference is...!!

[–]Wrang1er 7 insightful - 8 fun7 insightful - 7 fun8 insightful - 8 fun -  (3 children)

Women seem to dislike trans people more than men, thats the most likely answer.

[–]radfemanon 47 insightful - 5 fun47 insightful - 4 fun48 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

I mean, if that was true you'd think you'd see more women beating up and killing transpeople but no, it's men doing that.

The answer is that Gender critical guys is for men and as proven by the mass bannings, Reddit doesn't like women all that much.

[–]PassionateIntensity 7 insightful - 5 fun7 insightful - 4 fun8 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)


[–]finalbossmagicalgirl 39 insightful - 2 fun39 insightful - 1 fun40 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Same! I was transitioning and taking testosterone myself. I got it prescribed after crying to a doctor about how I hated being a woman and hated my body. After a certain amount of time I started questioning... in trans spaces, transwomen always talked over transmen and then they occasionally mentioned TERFS and gendercritical. Being the curious person I am I decided to make my own choice about how I felt. Gendercritical saved me from that and helped me see other women who dealt with issues similar to mine and found ways to deal with it.

[–]TimeFlies 35 insightful - 4 fun35 insightful - 3 fun36 insightful - 4 fun -  (2 children)

It's hard to learn that you're the reasonable one after all.

People in your life whom you admire and respect, who will be the first to say how much they love science and compassion and logic, eventually show that they don't act on science, compassion, or logic. They're hypocrites.

[–][deleted] 27 insightful - 2 fun27 insightful - 1 fun28 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

This is the core issue of our age. We believe in science until we get to human beings. Then it's a special animal and all rules are off.

If you lift a male pygmy out of the Jungles of equatorial Guinea at a young age - not only will he become one of our most prized Rocket Surgeons, he will also become a stunning and brave woman. Just make sure you mutilate "her" and keep her on her hormones. The "stunning and brave" deserve no less.

[–]High_and_Lonesome 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Love this comment!

[–]slushpilot 28 insightful - 1 fun28 insightful - 0 fun29 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

I'm worried about the detrans community now.

It's mainly focused on support, but that does often mean bringing up and questioning the same things as r/GenderCritical did in order to see things as they really are. If Reddit is not allowed to acknowledge physical reality then I worry that sub is next against the wall.

It's also going to become a magnet for political discussion, when that was specifically against its purpose.

[–]One_Esk_Nineteen 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

AFAIK, the r/detrans admis are fully aware they're next. Banning support subs is so low I don't even know what to say.

[–]WinterWoman 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

How piss poor of reddit. I'm starting to hate that platform.

It dosen't ban porn subreddits, redpill/bluepill subreddits.

theres a literal r/misogynyfetish subreddit thats still up but somehow GC thats just a place for critical thinkers got the ban hammer!

[–]PassionateIntensity 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I ran over there to check it was still up as soon as GC poofed. That space is saving lives I honestly believe. Not that the trans community or reddit give a shit.

[–]blahblahgcer[S] 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Yeah. I think the trans people are mad /r/detrans exists and want everybody to join /r/actual_detrans, the detrans sub run by trans people.

[–]StupidHappyPancakes 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

What does the trans-run detrans sub do differently? I'm imagining that anyone who posts there about wanting to transition is subjected to a series of strong shocks from their keyboard and deafening noises from their speakers until they agree to never speak of detransitioning again!

[–]Eurowoman24 26 insightful - 4 fun26 insightful - 3 fun27 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Welcome to where the reasonable people gather. We don't hate Transpeople but there are some Huge problems with the cult-like idiology that's surfaced. Glad you escaped before you went through hormones and the like.

[–]Wrang1er 23 insightful - 2 fun23 insightful - 1 fun24 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

Colleges are indoctrination camps, they get too many weak people to adhere to their ideology.

[–]radfemanon 19 insightful - 2 fun19 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I agree. I think some colleges have a lot to answer for in rolling back women's rights.

[–][deleted] 25 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 0 fun26 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The first mistake was allowing Women’s Studies programs to become gender studies in universities and colleges. Erasing women in the blink of a eye.

[–]fearsomegoatsemonstr 22 insightful - 4 fun22 insightful - 3 fun23 insightful - 4 fun -  (4 children)

All my friends are trans and I can't even say I'm detrans without getting called an egg or saying I'm in denial or have internalized transphobia.

it sucks, but you could try telling them you're nonbinary so they'll shut up. then just continue to use she/her pronouns, don't ID as anything other than female around normal people, and if anyone questions it tell them they don't get to define your gender identity for you.

[–]blahblahgcer[S] 13 insightful - 2 fun13 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

I was already nonbinary in the first place and I told them I didn't care about pronouns, but they all switched to they/them anyways.

[–]High_and_Lonesome 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

That would drive me insane. Nobody is calling me "they". I will correct them anytime I hear it.

These people sound awful. Please don't let them bully you into any permanent changes. The person you replied to had a really good solution for you. but if even that doesn't appease them, nothing will. You think that they are your friends, but they don't accept the real you. So they aren't your friends. Friendship is hard for autistic people. I get really hung up on it.

[–][deleted] 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't know why they bother trying to censor us. It's ridiculous. Like I've said before, they can delete every platform they want but they can never delete us. Can't make an opinion go away by taking away someone's voice.

[–]tiredofthis 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Your post suddenly brought to my memory my own puberty. I remember getting my breast buds when I was 10 and feeling what I guess people now describe as dysphoric. I remember feeling horrified watching my pubic area develop. I was so terrified of being a female adult, and had been ever since I was a toddler and saw that my menstruating mother got up from the toilet and inside it was all bright red. I probably would have tried to transition had I thought that that might be a choice to avoid periods and the sexual harrassment I had when growing up.

[–]madtofu 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I've thought about this a lot. I had the same experience of being sort of horrified by menstruation and pubic hair and being unhappy when it happened to me. I had a sense that I was too young for that, that I wasn't ready for womanhood. (Of course I wasn't - I was 10. It wasn't about gender. Puberty is gross and scary for everyone.) I was also a tomboy and really pissed off that I couldn't play baseball and that people kept trying to get me to wear hot, scratchy dresses.

If I'd been born in 2000 instead of the 70s, there's no telling what might've happened to me. For the life of me, I don't understand why the progress stopped and we're moving backwards and enforcing gender norms so hard now that any kid who plays with toy cars is a boy and any kid who plays with dolls is a girl. That is some 1950s bullshit.

[–]blahblahgcer[S] 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Yeah that was kind of my experience too! According to trans people, because puberty is when transness really starts to ramp up, that definitely 1000% means your trans. They think that everyone is just so thrilled about their puberties.

[–]Cassandra2020 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This is so true. Going through puberty in the late 1980s I hated getting breasts and periods were so bad I was dead set on a hysterectomy asap initially but I acclimatised, sorted out pain relief that worked for me eventually, got used to bras, etc. Puberty is a weird time and bodies are difficult and it can feel a bit like you're under attack but that isn't pathological and it doesn't mean our bodies are wrong.

[–]High_and_Lonesome 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

Oh honey. I'm the same! I am also an autistic woman.

I experience intense gender dysphoria, but the trans stuff just doesn't sit right with me. I was still called a bigot very harshly. And made to feel absolutely awful about myself for who I am. I was gaslighted about it for years.

Its really awful that they pushed transition onto you. Those aren't friends you need, IMO. All of that sounds like neurotypical games that aren't worth playing.

listen: autism manifests differently in woman. a trait for women is "knowing that you are female, but also having the feeling that you are also a man, or feeling 50% man/ 50% woman". When I learned this it was like I discovered myself. (I didn't know I was autistic until, like, 6 months ago!) Simon Barron-Cohen has written papers about how this could be due to increased testosterone en utero.

I firmly believe that autistic people should NOT transition. We are not in "the wrong body", our brains are different. We shouldn't have to mutilate ourselves and live lies just to fit into a societal box. I feel like it is highly likely that most autistic people are just going along with being trans to finally fit in.

Autism is different for XX than it is for XY. Because we are fundamentally different. I wasn't diagnosed until i was 33 because they were looking for the male manifestation when I was young. The differences for females were as then unknown. The new PC culture wants to blur that line and rob me of my experience. The information that has alleviated so much of my pain has been criticized as transphobic and wrong, or misconstrued to also refer to those with XY bodies.

I see the word "transpie" (trans + aspie) and it makes me sick. I think, what a deluded person. You are just autistic! a 4000% increase in trans TEENS over the past few years just isn't ok. There is something else going on.

For me my dysphoria is that I am distinctly aware that I am XX. I think, if i were only XY I would have to natural assertion and aggression that would give me a better life. I am XX, so I am weak and soft and "gullible". because I am XX I feel like an object. Nothing can ever, ever change my chromosomes. Therefore, transition would be an exceedingly bad idea for me. And my experience is valid, goddamnit!

[–]RestingWitchface 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Hello, fellow autistic! I was diagnosed only 3 months ago, so I am very new to the autistic community. However, I was immediately struck by how much trans and gender ideology has taken over there. I joined a couple of women's groups on Facebook and already left again because they banned gendered language (e.g. "Hello ladies!") and I was attacked multiple times for having the wrong opinions. I have never been one to go along with a crowd, and I thought I would be in better company among autistic people, so I'm disappointed that it's not the case. I find it very worrying how uncritically the number of trans and NB autistic people is being accepted.

[–]blahblahgcer[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

<3 It is worrying about trans autistic people. Although in my experience, a ton of self diagnosers are also trans (aka all but one I know). And because the autism community accepts every self diagnoser and because of the high rates of trans people in autistics, all the autism spaces I'm in are turning into trans spaces. I used to feel so comfortable around other autistics in autistic spaces and now I don't :/

[–]ReignRain95 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Hey, I agree with everything you said especially about why you feel dysphoria. Could you tell me more about the increase in testosterone in utero? How does that happen? I’ve never heard of it before.

[–]High_and_Lonesome 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Really? I've never know of anyone else to put it the way I did. Awareness of the XX.

I read the article on /r/autisticpride. Everyone was shitting on it!! Talking about how problematic it is. It's like "HELLO! Don't you want to understand yourself?"

ssiigh i'm searching and just clicked on on /r/autistic. I'm informed that has been combined with /r/autisticpride and I'm greated with this as the top post: Nonbinary Autism Community Claps Back at J.K. Rowling's Transphobic Comments

absolutely infuriating.

[–]StupidHappyPancakes 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Huh, a transpie. I would NOT like a slice of that because I'd worry what the filling would be!

[–]Tikiri 11 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I am SO sorry for what you’re going through. I’m a GC “refugee” too and I feel totally alone, like you. I lurked there for over a year because I was terrified of getting doxxed. But I just thought, no more. Can’t live in hiding all my life. So, here I am. You are not alone!🙂

[–]Wormy 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Bonus of moving here is that I’m only here for GC content so this is my first comment on these issues. I have reason to believe I would have been found and probably doxxed on reddit if I ever dared to post. My interaction with trans people occurs in an identifiable social group and I’m having to hide my views on TWAW stuff.

[–]TheOnyxGoddess 11 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

The irony of an extreme leftist group getting a subreddit banned. The only free speech they care about is their own. They probably feel threatened by GenderCritical's rational thought on gender.

[–]dancing_with_durga 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I am so sorry. Your experience sounds so isolating. It's a big world out there and you will find new friends who support you in a sensible, grounded way of living in the world.

[–]blahblahgcer[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)


[–]jelliknight 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

"If you think you might be trans, you're trans!" That's some grade A cult shit right there. "If you've ever thought about aliens, that's them calling you back to the mother ship."

You keep calling yourself gullible. You don't need to take quite so much responsibility. It's good to look and know where you went wrong but you're not stupid for being fooled by people who were trying to fool you. You're not a sucker for thinking people have your best interests in mind when they tell you they do and you don't yet have a reason to doubt. You'll be wiser next time.

And it's not homophobia to be creeped out by furries. It's a gut instinct warning you of danger.

[–]Complicated-Spirit 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I remember hearing this too. I went through a period in early high school (y’know, puberty) in which I questioned my sexuality, and this was still in the fairly early days of the internet being widely available, so when I’d search for info on how to know if I’m gay or straight or bi or whatever, trans would often pop up as well.

I think just about every kid in America, post-2000 or so, has asked themselves at some point during puberty, “Am I gay?” and increasingly, “Am I trans?” One key difference, looking back, is that oftentimes kids would think they were gay because “I saw someone of my own sex at school and thought they were good-looking” and basically panic. Or they’d have a homoerotic dream. They’d never thought of themselves as gay before, had only ever been attracted to the opposite sex, but now we’re worried that basically, they were either turning gay or were gay all along and just didn’t know. And gay people would tell them, “RELAX, that doesn’t make you gay. Especially if you’ve already been heterosexual since forever.” But the early trans forums said the same as above - “If you’ve ever wondered if you’re trans, then you’re trans.” Sooooo many curious kids - I venture to say most, or even all of them - have wondered if they’re trans. And now they’re being told BAM! - so you are. And these people who are “guiding these young lives” think they’re “helping” them.

[–]blahblahgcer[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

<3 thank you. That and peopel saying that you had to have a feeling of being a woman completely convinced me of so much.

[–]Pulpfiction 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

GC sub saved me from an abusive relationship with my non-binary partner that I didn't even notice was happening. If it wasn't for the support of the hundreds of ladies who commented on my post/messaged me I wouldn't have realised what was going on in my life and how unsafe I was. Being silenced is just making me want to scream louder.

[–]martindc 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Your heartfelt plea was posted to Twitter (by @genderkoolaid) and got 400+ likes - including one from JK Rowling! <3

Some comments: Carson Goldeneye @bjhnyc100 I hope people we're able to reach out to her. She needs new people in her life.

Mary garner @Garner715Mary Yes i hope so and that she gets some decent thoughtful therapy not some affirming crap

Idolly Dancing @IdollyDancing My heart just goes out to that woman. I want her to know that she is a unique, complete person; that she deserves friendship, love and happiness; and that she has the right to be heard, and to be HER.

LJAnderson @El_Chan03 Oh that was such a heartfelt post, my heart goes out to her. I hope she is ok and finds a support network.

Lionessque @Lionessque This is so disturbing. My heart goes out to all of you who feel trapped and forlorn in a community that's betrayed you for a political agenda and out of a sense of inferiority. And now I shall google 'furries'. I already know I will be very, very traumatised.

[–]blahblahgcer[S] 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)


[–]IStandWithHer 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

We're not going anywhere. Stay strong. Even if we have to go totally underground, we're not gonna disappear. There are many of us in this fight and their pathetic attempts to silence us just show that they're starting to get antsy. GC subreddit got 20000+ new users since JKR's essay. People are starting to wake up and TRAs are sh*t scared because they were insidiously pushing all these laws with many people being totally unaware of what's going on. Take care of yourself. Hugs.

[–]avesatan 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

its hard to undo the damage its done to our bodies, emotionally and physically.

[–]BassPlayer77 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'm also on the autistic spectrum, and am a woman with no resemblance whatsoever to my gender stereotype. But, at 43, I'm looking back on an upbringing that was during the days before trans was ever a thing.

It was hard enough to be a lesbian during that era, but I can only imagine how hard it must be nowadays, being told you must be trans because you don't somehow conform to someone else's preconceived concept of what your sex should be and should look like. Wow.

It makes me thankful that I was young during a different era, because I'm exactly the type of non-conforming female that would've been vulnerable to this brainwashing.

I respect your frankness and honesty. You sound very self-aware and articulate; I admire that. Best wishes to you.

[–]blahblahgcer[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thank you <3

[–]blahblahgcer[S] 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

So I got noticed on twitter?? Omg. Anyways, answering some things from there because I barely use twitter and would be too scared to connect my real life self with this:

  • I will not share my name or my location for privacy concerns. I'm honestly scared that people I know will recognize me from this post. Along with this, the autism community is very pro-trans and I am very involved with them.

  • I don't know what I could give as proof for being previously trans? I think all the proof I actually have other than people who actually know me is a binder. Most of my talking in the trans communities were in various Discord servers, and I've left most of them now.

  • Where were people getting hormones so fast? I think a lot of people were going to clinics where they were from because it's at college and everyone lives in various places. The only place I can name definitively is Planned Parenthood. I was actually told by a lot of the trans community to go there for some sort of hormone. Some androgyny hormone that's meant for breast cancer. It started with an a. Don't remember what.

  • I was not forced to be trans, that is true. However, I was heavily influenced and at a very fragile time in my life (like, got involuntarily put in a psych hospital for 8 days during the time period I was still questioning fragile). When I first thought I was nonbinary, I literally cried for like three days because I was so upset, but I was just told that I was just feeling internalized transphobia and they had all gone through similar things. Every time I tried to justify things (for reasons that are most definitely the actual cause of my dysphoria), I was told that if I'm questioning it so much, I must be trans.

I'm sorry I can't give more proof. I really wish I could. I heard our queen J.K. Rowling liked the Tweet made about my post, so maybe I'll try sending her a DM on Twitter? I literally never use Twitter so we'll see.

I can't believe this blew up so much <3 thank you so much everyone for your super kind words and all. It really means so much to me. If anyone has any questions about my experience or wants me to elaborate on things, I'll try to, but I'm still trying to keep my identity private as much as I can. <3

[–]violette_22 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, it's weird how our society went from mentoring our girls carefully when they were going through the horrors of puberty to just trying to make them into boys, and vice versa. I'm glad you found some logic and reason before anything drastic happened to you. I'm much more sure now that there's just a lot of evil people that are getting louder and crazier so they can groom and abuse young people so they will do the same thing. I've gone from suspicious, to just plain seeing too much of it to have any doubt.

[–]courage2courage 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

They told me that I was just making excuses and I should just admit I'm trans already because I definitely am.

I got told immediately by everyone that I should be celebrating because GenderCritical finally got banned.

It really is a cult. People dictating to others how they should act and feel, with the totally illogical soundbite of "If you think you might be trans, you're trans!" for good measure. But no, they're all totally being their authentic true selves...

Glad you broke free <3

[–][deleted] 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I wish I could have spoken to my friend and steered him away from the trans-route. Ultimately, though, it was his decision, which I do respect (I only find it a problem when it infringes on others, as this sub helps document and discuss). I'm glad you were able to think on your own, and that shows a lot of self-intelligence on your part. Honestly, college sucked for me in the friends department, but only you can be the judge of your current friendships.

If you find yourself very unhappy or not comfortable with your current friends irl, I would recommend trying to find a new group. It may take time, and I know what it feels like to feel alone without a friend group, but you will find new people. Good luck to us all! :)

[–]blahblahgcer[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah it sucks to see friends going the same route. I can't even say anything because I'd immediately get kicked out of everywhere.

I wish I could find more friends. I'm entering my last year of college and with coronavirus, I probably won't have a chance to make more friends since all the clubs are going to be gone.

[–]bald-janitor 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Move here, this site is best for long posts and discussions. Our admins are great 🥰

[–]theachan 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

RIP... another who fell for it...

[–]blahblahgcer[S] 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah. I saw a ton who fell for it. So far, I'm the only one out of my friends who has gone back completely. I know one or two who got put on hormones or got double mastectomies and then kind of eased off and went to nonbinary instead of full FtM, but nobody gone full detrans.

Actually, I brought up the detrans community and immediately got asked if genderfluid people counted as being detrans because they sometimes identify with their birth gender. Sigh.

[–]Camberian 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I'm sorry for how you feel and what you had to go through. Reading your post, could you please explain something for me? You say that you "bawled when your mother told you to get a bra". Was that about the fact you developed breasts, or due the fact that you had to wear a bra?

[–]blahblahgcer[S] 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

The former I think. Although I am a massive bra hater lmao. I still hardly go outside without a sweatshirt because I'm so uncomfortable with anyone seeing my chest.

[–]Camberian 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks for the answer. I asked, because I also hate bras, however, my mother never told me to wear any. I own exactly one bra and one set of underpants - to wear when seeing a doctor. At all other times I don't wear any underwear at all. That has been several decades now. I rarely ever wear female clothes, if yes, then sort of djellaba-style dresses. Most of the time it is pants and shirts/t-shirts. Practical stuff. I'm not exactly "butch", because I don't consciously try to look like a man, but give it a few years yet and people would probably mistake me for Peachyoghurt's younger sister ;) Doing my own thing, if you will. I was lucky to grow up in a time and place where being individualistic was seen as a good thing.

[–]ReignRain95 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Hey im not OP but I have dysphoria and for me it was both in a sense. Thats a good question for me it’s because I had developed breasts and wearing a bra just came with that. It was mostly me hating having breasts and being reminded that I was a woman. I also hated bras but its not like not wearing a bra would make it go away though.

[–]Camberian 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I understand the problem of dysphoria - but I was under the impression that the OP didn't suffer from it, and was more or less "talked into" being trans by people who noticed her dislike of female "trappings".

I asked, because I keep reading this (the dislike of female clothes and "being girly") and don't understand (really, I don't get it) why people would actually do the "girly stuff" and wear feminine clothes. It's not as if anybody glued them to girls at birth, right? Most parents are sensible enough to let one choose own clothing, and I'd have flipped mine the bird, if anyone had tried to force me into wearing skirts and dresses. Or a bra. Or make up. Or made me shave. Or have long hair.

Probably it is that I wonder why current youths are so accepting of rules per se. Gendered clothing and gendered behaviour being part of the "rules". I'm not that much older, but when I was in puberty we all rejected outside rules and did our own thing. Being individualistic was a badge of honour, not cause to doubt one's basic biology?

[–]ReignRain95 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Im pretty sure im on the spectrum too and always had problems with this stuff and the way women were seen and treated and I just didn’t want to be associated with it at all. I considered being trans for about a year and hung around subs like the egg one but never told anyone or did anything about it. I actually did struggle with dysphoria but im sure hanging around places like that and always thinking and obsessing over it made it 10x worse. Ive stopped looking at anything trans or anything that would trigger me and I realized a lot of the time im okay with being female, its just how they’re viewed and treated that triggers me. I associated being male with having control and safety. I really loved the GC sub and its really unfair that its gone. TRA stuff has gona way too far.

[–]blahblahgcer[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Yeah I had to leave a lot of the trans spaces. Even now, thinking about trans topics kind of makes my dysphoria ramp up and brings back memories of why I wanted to be trans in the first place. It's especially hard when my female friends start IDing as trans.

[–]ReignRain95 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Yeah same :/ The only reason at the time that kept me from transitioning was that I knew i’d never be a real man. I still have lots of issues around it, can I ask how you’re doing or how you’re dealing with it?

[–]blahblahgcer[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Actually, quarantine has helped with it a lot. I think it's the thing about not being forced to like.. present a certain way? Like I don't have to worry about wearing a sweatshirt constantly to cover my chest because nobody's gonna see it, and then when I do go outside, I'm so used to not wearing a sweatshirt, I don't worry about it. And also getting more involved in feminist and women spaces has helped a ton, between the "transitioning won't actually solve your problems" and the empowerment it gives, it's been super helpful for me.

[–]ReignRain95 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Ive noticed mine gets worse with presenting myself and people perceiving me a certain way too. When I haven't seen people in a while I can kind of ignore it and not think about it but when I really start to think about it or I go in public more often it gets worse. Im glad youre doing though! If you don't mind if you want to talk about it in private messages I have no one to talk to about this kind of stuff. And definitely no one who is similar.

[–]blahblahgcer[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't mind at all! I'd love to continue this conversation in PMs <3

[–]divingrightintowork 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Hi! Are you familiar with Lisa Littman? I think you'd really appreciate her work / perspective - here's a great interview with her here -

[–]blahblahgcer[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I am! I actually just emailed her last night to participate in a thing she's researching about dettansitioners.

[–]midnight305 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thing is everyone goes through a stage of puberty that makes them uncomfortable in there on skin.

Women learn about periods in school in 5th grade ....its still a terrible experience to learn from teachers stuff our parents should teach us. In Highschool we learn about sex and drugs and we become even more uncomfortable. Because by that time everyone is already doing drugs or having sex and your made front of for still being s virgin at 16 and called a boring person if you dont do drugs.

Peer pressure makes us feel uncomfortable and ashamed of our bodies. Kids still call others f*g as a slur etc and even my nephew said he doesnt want to be a homo because of the on going bulling he already gets for being white .

I think young kids are being groomed there valuable they have all the same feelings about hating there body like we did or still do when we was kids. Its dangerous to tell kids there trans just because they hate there body because we all went through it .

I wish we could go into schools as a guest speaker to talk to kids about this stuff .

[–]teatii 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

you're not alone. we support you.

[–]blahblahgcer[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

<3 Thank you

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Like others have said here, I also could have been in your situation if I'd been born just slightly later. Well done for seeing it for what it really is, that can't be easy when everyone around you is convinced of it. I'm sorry it sucks so much, and that you feel alone :(

But also... wow, it's so reassuring to see so many fellow autistic women in this thread! I'm 34 and only got diagnosed last year. But I've already seen how so many autistic people have fallen for this trans stuff, so I thought there'd probably be nowhere for me to connect with gender critical autistic women. So happy that I was wrong! :D

[–]yishengqingwa666 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Glad you're ok. If I had been born later they would have tried to trans me.

[–]amazingkitten 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

No hating on furries is not homophobic or transphobic. There are even homophobic furries, in a Japan there are a ton of furries (well kemono fans okay) who say the gay people are infiltrating it. Hating on people generally is not nice though, disliking a group or thinking its unhealthy makes sense but I don't think hate is good for the health lol.

Furries are just those who are exploring identity or just like the aesthetic of animal characters. I mean there are some crazies there even those who want to become animals.. I do think there are harmful things such as a lot of women seem to identify as non binary there because thats how they hide from maleness of the fandom. Or those who just yeah jump on the trans wagon.

I think the whole encourage people to be trans is quite worrying. Especially when it involves young kids who are still forming their identity and physical body and are influenced. My male friend took a transgender test as a joke and because he is a real softy it said he was a questioning mtf like um okay. I think people have the free choice to do what they like, but people are entitled to question things. I think however all this banning is just the showing the direction reddit is trying to go in.

[–]blahblahgcer[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah I don't have problems with individual furries usually. It's just when they go too far, as the furry community as a whole seems to take it. When people go outside in full fursuits, I get kind of creeped out because of how sexual a lot of them are....

[–]ItsABad 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

this should make things clear. it helped me.

[–]Realwoman 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

What does an egg mean? I'm still learning all this insane terminology.

[–]blahblahgcer[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Somebody who doesn't know theyre trans yet. Basically grooming honestly. If you say anything about how you don't feel comfortable, they direct you to egg_irl and take pride in hatching you.

[–]RestingWitchface 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It means a closeted trans person, or a person who doesn't know they're trans yet, as far as I understand.