God I'm so Sick of Talking About Trans - Remember Women's Issues??

chrysthefeminist · 2020-07-07T15:57:38+00:00

Yes, trans issues are a giant energy suck. Energy suck has always been one of the main ways by which men prevent women from making progress out of our oppressed, secondary state. If they succeed in getting us to expend energy on trans issues then they have won, even if we're totally not buying the trans ideology.

RuminatingOracle · 2020-07-07T19:04:31+00:00

I'm tired of it too. Told my husband I was maybe a radfem and agreed with GC and he jokingly said that he didn't know he married a transphobe. Yes, it was actually a joke and when I explained why I was examining feminism he got it. His answer was that he didn't know what I experienced as a woman so he had no place to judge and would support me in every way he could.

I first began my journey when I was trying to have a baby. I had two miscarriages and needed to use "the abortion pill" to clean out my uterus. This was about the time when pharmacists stopped prescribing these drugs based on their religious opposition in the US. I was infuriated- how dare these (mostly) men think they had the right to make women suffer? Without that medication that I could use at home, I would have been forced into a D&C (chance of scarring) or wait for the fetus to pass naturally (a horrific thought since I was mourning the loss of my pregnancy)

The injustices didn't stop once I got pregnant- I had to see an additional doctor because my age made me high risk. That doctor disregarded my health for the sake of my child. I didn't get sufficient painkillers after my emergency c section because Advil less than a day later should have sufficed and "was I really in pain? I was stigmatized by having anxiety problems in the past and my baby kept in NICU too long.

All of these issues made me finally realize that the rules are made by men and we have little autonomy. Like many women, I suffered other health problems that I was told were no big deal or that I was exaggerating.

I want to be part of a feminism that cares about me first, that puts me first.

I give little thought to trans people in my everyday life. I think they should have rights like everyone else and should not be persecuted for who they are. I don't give a flying fuck about pronouns. I do object to having hate piled on me for wrongthink for knowing that a trans woman is not a woman, and will never understand my experiences. There is something about natal women's communities that is key to my life, and I need those spaces to exist. Where I can admit that my first sexual experience was against my will, and i kept quiet for fear I would be blamed.where I can admit tons of other things and not be judged.

Sorry for the word salad- I didn't think I would write this much I til i started. I guess it needed to come out. I was a lurker on Reddit but I know it's time to start participating.

Thanks to all of you for being here and speaking your truths.

gparmesan · 2020-07-07T16:33:25+00:00

Yes. Yes, yes, yes. While I still talk about the TRAs I have to recognize it for what can become.. more emotional labor spent on males

My arrival at GC had nothing to do with the trans issue but about motherhood for me.. for the first time I needed to feel female strength and power, and I found that the feminism I had learned had been watered down, made palatable, friendly, and useless. I was looking for discussions about imbalance of power in work/life for women, the need for childcare and respect for women in the workforce, a true functioning healthcare system that worked for women and girls. I wanted to talk about issues like maternity leave- of which I received very, very little- which were now fusty, boring, old issues from second wavers. Except the part where they remain unsolved and continue to shape women’s lives. (Obviously I am coming from a very American perspective here). So I am on board, I hear you.

Returning to GC communities was the moment I was waiting for, to find where all the actual feminists had ended up. They’re the cancelled witches now? Perfection. That’s how I know it’s the real thing. Let’s talk about women’s issues and let’s do it without walking on eggshells.

Anna_Nym · 2020-07-07T15:44:52+00:00

[deleted]

notgonnabenice · 2020-07-07T19:20:26+00:00

GC was not all about trans issues. It's just that since we've been banned by TRAs, it's understandable we're talking about them. I don't care what trans ideology says as long as they stop dictating how women need to think and behave. When I talk about their ideology, I am talking about the erasure of women's spaces, women's voices for the benefit of male feelings, safeguarding, and the insidous redefinition of what it means to be a woman to prefer gender over sex. But I also care about other feminist issues like trafficking, women's healthcare, how law enforcement and the army treats women, women's access to education around the world, child marriage, access to childcare, abortion access, and more. TRA ideology's dictatorship is dangerous in that it disallows us to talk about women specifically. Where will we be when we're robbed of the language with which we need to communicate?

A twitter quote I found sums it best, "Oppressing women on the basis of their sex and then denying that sex is a meaningful concept is a particularly brazen form of gaslighting. It's like repeatedly kicking someone in the shins and then denying that they have shins at all." https://twitter.com/Mgardner2000/status/1149085905250127872

So many things are kicking women's shins, but only one of them is telling them they don't have any.

ThisReality · 2020-07-07T15:09:33+00:00

👏👏👏

Trans issues are not the only issues women face, and not the only aspect of being gender critical.

jkfinn · 2020-07-07T15:25:36+00:00

Plague time is probably not the best time to return to real radical feminist orgs, but I’m convinced that’s what’s needed. The first reason this would work is that TiMs would be absolutely excluded--yes, excluded from each & every group. And that in itself would be a basic victory, a turning one’s back on transgender, and one that would initiate & inspire all other oppositional work as in sex trafficking, reproductive tech., prostitution & others. you mention. And it would mean community, connection, real actions in real places, having each others' back, and gaining tangible victories.

Habesnicht · 2020-07-07T17:15:27+00:00

It’s seems trans women (men) are obsessed with play acting “porn actress” or “Disney princess” and want to force the rest of us to validate their delusions.

What will happen to these young MEN when aging catches up with them, or they need to replace their breast implants and don’t have the money for more surgery?
And what’s more irritating is that this seems to be a rich man’s hobby. It’s not like your average Joe can afford to transition... so it’s like a elite movement on top of a men’s movement.

emissch · 2020-07-07T16:53:55+00:00

Yes, that's what I keep saying! there are SO MANY other issues that are/were being addressed on GC. It's not just some trans bashing sub, but a place for women to discuss a million other things affecting them on a daily basis and now it's gone. it's just heartbreaking to me.

milpathecat · 2020-07-07T16:54:02+00:00

Yeah. That's the whole point of transactivism. It's been the tool of patriarchy to entirely derail the new wave of feminism that's been growing since five, ten years ago. A neat trick to exhaust true feminists and put the libfems back at the service of men.

DangerJelly · 2020-07-07T16:30:21+00:00

This is SUCH a mood. Please feel free to post a link or start a discussion thread about any of these things! I think you'll find a lot of women here will have something insightful to say.

PandorasAquarium · 2020-07-07T19:41:41+00:00

I feel the transgender issue has forcibly been inserted into women's spaces and effectively shoehorned these incredibly important conversations into the back seat. I can't speak for other women; however I've experienced online conversations where topics like these have been derailed by people who feel the overwhelming need to make me shut up and "educate myself" that it's 'not just cis women that go through this' and 'not all women have XYZ anatomy'

I'm surrounded by the "sex work is work and empowering" crowd. Domestic violence? Oh well women hit men too! What about them? Want to discuss how I went through fertility treatment and my experience, when supporting another woman asking for this information? Well don't forget this is triggering to TW who will never get pregnant! Be Kind!

I'm tired of the transgender issue sucking the oxygen out of real and important issues like what you've mentioned here. I just don't know how we move these things forward without every discussion being forcibly derailed by this loud and obnoxious minority.

CaliforniGinger · 2020-07-07T17:55:06+00:00

I want to talk about the pain of living around and loving men who struggle to recognize a woman's humanity.

Yeah this has been an eye opening year or so, realizing just how hard it is for men SEE our problems or to FEEL them, even when explained at great length. Then they tone police rightful anger about women's oppression and the next second are yelling fiercely about some random little irritation. I've cut off/cut way down on contact with a lot of dudes and will never see men the same. Why is it SO hard for them to just go "Wow, that sucks, I'm going to do X to try to help your cause." They can spend all this time and money and fury on frivolous game things or social group issues, but can't spare the time for actual injustices that make the world a darker place by existing.

Habesnicht · 2020-07-07T20:27:39+00:00

I feel somewhat consumed by this topic at this point because I'm shocked at how easily and blatantly they took over and banned women from Reddit. I'm shocked that all the media outlets are calling GC and other similar subs "hate subs"... I distinctly remember how most of the posts were on issues that did NOT include trans-anything. It's just mind-blowing and terrifying, and I have no one IRL who can relate.

My issue was often regarding the porn. It seems to me that the trans community is vehemently pro-porn, and I'm wondering if internet platforms are taking their side BECAUSE doing so gives them justification to ban anti-porn women from their spaces. Porn is big money.

Radfem_the_Hun · 2020-07-07T18:36:58+00:00

Totally agreed. And at this point, I'm pretty sure that's the point of the majority of "trans-activism," especially the AGPs who have found a ~woke way~ to oppress women.

They're wasting our time when we have more important issues to face.

But, unfortunately, we have to fight this battle. Because they are trying to take away the meaning of "sex," and without that meaning, all of our efforts are for nothing. If "sex" is no longer a protected class, then women no longer have sex-based rights.

courage2courage · 2020-07-07T21:58:34+00:00

IA. The whole thing is a damn energy vampire. But it's also one of the most hot-button topics right now, with laws being written right at this very moment. Some new bullshit is farted out out every single day from a mainstream source and women have to work so damn hard to combat the narrative and kick up a fuss. I would much, much rather be discussing all the things you mention, OP -- for some damn variety, at the very least -- but this ideology is insidious when whole institutes have been captured.

I imagine there'll be an uptick in people attending IRL feminist orgs once it's safe to do so, and that makes me optimistic.

sensusquaeram · 2020-07-07T22:18:02+00:00

If you'd told me 20 years ago that all things TIM and AGF would co-opt center stage in my life, and after extricating myself and screwing my head back on I'd still be dealing with and discussing this bullshit, I'd have laughed.

I feel you. My weariness with TRA-everything has doubled. After trying to take over my own life, uninvited, it spread its toxic seeds everywhere online and throughout pop culture. There is so much other work to do, so many other things to discuss. But no, we get to battle this bullshit first.

In my darker moods I wonder if that's part of the TRA agenda -- co-opt and corrupt everything female, so we can't even get onto those other issues.

Diversity_Racket · 2020-07-07T17:02:29+00:00

Nothing else to add, just to say: I agree. Would love to have more discussions on the above.

Carthimundia · 2020-07-07T19:03:06+00:00

In her paper "Contingent Foundations", Judith Butler actually argues that never ending debates about what a woman is should be the foundation of feminism, and she is super gleeful at the prospect of feminists just doing nothing but fighting about this: "the rifts between and amongst women over the content of the term woman should be safeguarded and prized...indeed the constant rifting should be affirmed as the ..ground of feminist theory." Our current stasis and fixation on trans issues has been wished for by postmodern feminists for a long time.

aqrylix · 2020-07-08T00:37:17+00:00

I was just going to post the same. I understand why it's necessary, but holy fuck I am so sick of their bullshit. I'm so sick of the histrionic response to any criticism, so sick of the gaslighting, so sick of the utter nonsense that is gender identity ideology. I'm an atheist, stop telling me I have to believe in your anti-science religious beliefs in order to not be taxed as a transphobe. It's fucking exhausting and a total energy and time suck like people have mentioned. I'm especially disgusted and dismayed by the behavior of my fellow leftists, it makes me want to give up political activism altogether and turn accelerationist, god knows climate change will swallow us whole anyway so why bother.

Moirawr · 2020-07-07T19:14:51+00:00

I think we gravitate towards talking about trans issues because 1) we can’t talk about it anywhere else and 2) it’s just so damn easy. Low hanging fruit. Trans women are men, duh. Men do horrible things. Look at this fucked up man. Look at that fucked up man. Justified outrage! It’s the same reason why people who are absolutely not allies to women are being praised for saying the obvious. Everyone knows trans women aren’t really women. Men get no points for saying so but they get pats on the back anyway. And 3) women and men who don’t really agree with radfem can participate fully in those discussions. One other point, 4) since it’s tied heavily with censorship due to recent events it’s probably going to be talked about a lot more for a while...

I realized I was a part of the problem and quit the sub a while back to lurk and not contribute to it.

Cat13 · 2020-07-07T19:42:29+00:00

I think it’s just because it’s so new and in your face still. Jk speaking up, the mass reddit bans, various social media censors. It’s still raw and infuriating. I’m sure once our community settles a bit and the dust settles it’ll go back to more than just arguing against the trans movement.

uhhuhher · 2020-07-08T13:38:21+00:00

That's the entire point. So long as we have to constantly fight these issues, we can't effectively do other things. The whole trans thing is getting so much traction and getting so much support from high places because it works to dismantle women's rights and struggles.

no- · 2020-07-08T05:47:17+00:00

I deleted my tumblr account because every other post on everyone's blog was about trans women and nonbinary people, and most of it was absolute bs (cotton ceiling type arguments, derailing posts to center trans issues, calling random women terfs). It's exhausting.

Spikygrasspod · 2020-07-08T03:34:44+00:00

I feel like trafficking and prostitution are one of the biggest issues for women, along with straight up poverty. But I remember talking about rape culture and prostitution before, many years ago, and the hostility I got in response was discouraging. Plus it was so grim to read about. Maybe if I felt like I could DO something about it, that would make it bearable. I don't know what to do, however.

oyasuminasai50 · 2020-07-08T12:04:54+00:00

The whole landscape on feminism has changed from the topics you mentioned to trans issues - with (at most) a spattering of abortion. I was very active on tumblr 10 years ago, and we were able to talk about all of these topics alongside trans issues. Now, trans issues dominate feminist discourse. Odd given that over 99% of people who call themselves women or AFAB are not be impacted by trans issues.

SameOldBS · 2020-07-07T18:15:03+00:00

Amen.

rupp · 2020-07-08T17:09:28+00:00

Tired of this bs too. I say I don't like penis, and get called a the t slur and a Transphobe. Also tired of people saying transwomen are women and cis women are privileged. Trans women are men transitioning to look like women. Cis women are more oppressed than trans, because we were always women at birth whilst transwomen are men at birth to look like women. I'm also tired of tras saying that you have to like them even though lesbians like women, not men.

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