all 21 comments

[–]Greykittymomma 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

As a girl who did question my identity I always wondered if I was on the spectrum. I got diagnosed with depression, bipolar and ocd but since girls are better at masking they are often wrongfully diagnosed with other things.

Breaks my heart. So many girls just hate the extra attention they get from developing. I had a boy grab my chest in 8th grade and nothing was done. It was actually a big joke. No wonder little girls don't want to be girls, they are surrounded by perverts.

[–]RestingWitchface 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

It took me until I was 28 to get diagnosed with autism, and even then it was because I had the money to go private. One of the major reasons why it was missed was because medical professionals only ever looked at clusters of symptoms in isolation and not as part of a bigger picture. Then just gave up on me when their "treatments" didn't work. It's not hard to see how this approach could have disastrous consequences for an autistic child (diagnosed or not) who ends up in the gender identity clinic.

[–]Aquadog 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Yup. I got diagnosed with BPD. Nobody thought it fit 100% and I questioned if I "lived up" to the symptoms. I didn't get diagnosed with autism until 27. I feel like a lot of grief could have been saved if I had just been diagnosed as a kid.

[–]RestingWitchface 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Same. Sometimes I get really angry thinking about it. When I got diagnosed my parents told me they'd thought about getting me assessed when I was a kid, but never bothered because it didn't seem bad enough. I spent over half my life with severe mental health problems and feeling extremely isolated and confused. Self-harmed and made a suicide attempt. My late teens and 20s were spent in abusive relationships. I wonder how different things would have been if I had just had this information about myself and any kind of support.

[–][deleted] 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)


No money to be made off autistic people. That's why.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I'm not positive how health insurance works in the UK, but would this type of thing be covered by that?

In the US, I'm not sure what the numbers are and if state medicaid covers anything related to transition for children. I need to slog through some information, I suppose.

[–]greenish 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

There's no such thing. No one ever has to think about whether they're covered for certain conditions, the NHS handles everything (or doesn't. They're much better at some things than others). You just go to your GP and they deal with your problem, or send you to a specialist. No charge for anything, possible waiting list for mental health issues and some other things.

[–]rearden-steel 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

And as this story illustrates, while the care is “free,” the level of care one receives appears to be politically motivated. Gender dysphoria is fast-tracked; autism takes years.

[–]jet199 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

No money will be made off of this.

It will be a big cost to the tax payer in the UK.

Even the hrt drugs are mostly generic now.

[–]RestingWitchface 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Where is that tax money going though?

[–]Shesstealthy 12 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

"Biologically transition to man" - that's not what happens.

[–]greenish 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

When I was having a massive crisis I didn't know if my feelings were coming from trauma over childhood abuse and rape, or 'gender identity'.

I asked for mental health help to work it out, naively assuming it would be unbiased and informed by evidence. I was immediately put onto the route to transition, even though I said I didn't know if my issues were being caused by gender identity or trauma and that's what I wanted help to explore. My GP assured me the gender clinic would counsel me and help me work it out, even though that's not what they do.

I very quickly had an appointment with the 'gatekeeper' who asked leading questions about whether I liked dresses or playing with dolls as a child, and whether I felt comfortable with male attention, and my body. I didn't, and even more - I was wearing short hair, jeans, and a polo shirt to the appointment!!!! A sure sign that I was actually a man, as he wrote in his report. He then diagnosed me with Gender Dysphoria from that one brief meeting, and my application to the gender clinic was passed.

I tried to seek mental health help in the meantime, because of, you know, the massive breakdown I was still going through that had not been touched on, and treated as unimportant, even though I was clearly in a state of extreme anguish and confusion. I went to two different private LGBT councillors (still stupidly believing that they would be unbiased professionals with expertise in mental health issues, who also specialised in LGBT issues). They both told me that having trauma was inconsequential to someone's gender identity as it was to someone's sexual orientation, and implied that I was being offensive to question whether my feelings of dysphoria had any basis in trauma. They both told me that anyone who questions their gender identity is clearly trans, because cis people never question it. They both told me that because I was obviously trans, with 100% certainty, that I would never, ever be happy for the whole of the rest of my life and would almost certainly end up killing myself unless I transitioned, which would make me incredibly happy and solve literally every single one of my problems, even the trauma. One told me that my rape trauma was a sign of being trans, because it wouldn't bother me as much if I wasn't really a man (this was a bi handmaiden married to a man, who had never dated a woman but was heavily involved in the local LGBT community). The other told me that I needed to stop thinking of myself as a 'survivor' because it was holding me back and making me have a victim complex. I had only just started to come to terms with the rapes, or integrate them into my understanding of how my life was going (that was really what the crisis was about I think) and it was one of the first times I had spoken to anyone about it. This was a hetro TIM who made me really uncomfortable in just about every way.

I felt totally railroaded onto the transition pathway and was beginning to panic because it was all going so fast (this on top of the ignored breakdown). The next time I saw my GP I mentioned that I was having doubts and needed to see a normal NHS councillor, urgently. She poo-poohed my concerns, said that I was in good hands and just had to wait, and implied that no one likes a flip-flopper, and if I 'ducked out of' this I would never be taken seriously again (not that I ever had before).

Luckily, the transition pathway got delayed, because they were experiencing an influx of too many people(!) and in the meantime I took a course at college. Because of the assessment process, and that alone, I was able to ask for a referral to the NHS mental health team. I dropped out of all LGBT related groups that I was in, and asked for my transition to be delayed. They sent me weird letters telling me they were cancelling my gender clinic placement because I hadn't shown up to appointments I had never heard of and could not have had because I hadn't got that far yet. Honestly it was a relief, even though I still thought I was trans and would need to transition one day.

Now the point of my story - I finally got a mental health assessment, which was three half hour sessions to plead my case for help, as it were, not actual help. It took ONE YEAR since I asked for it. I then finally got my twice monthly sessions, TWO AND A HALF YEARS after that. After a further YEAR of those appointments, I was finally diagnosed with CPTSD, which I had to fight every step of the way for, and then discharged with no further 'help'. I also no longer thought I was trans, but was not able to mention any part of that during my sessions, because I was afraid it would muddy the waters.

I'm sure if you have read this far you can compare and contrast.

[–]Aquadog 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Your story breaks my heart and also fills me with rage. How dare they take advantage of your trauma and not even assist with treatment for years. I'm very glad that you were able to get things delayed...but holy hell, what would have happened if you'd gone to just ONE more?

Would you be comfortable making a post on your experiences? These are the kinds of accounts that NEED more discussion.

[–]greenish 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Thanks! IDK, I did post a long account of it all back on the old forum, which of course is buried now. It was actually during that time and GC helped immeasurably. I'm not sure I want to go back through it all now though, and a lot of it feels too potentially identifying. That might be cowardly of me, but I have dependants and a precarious income situation, and I'm still not ready to put myself (or them) in the firing line. There's also the CPTSD, which I'm dealing with, but on my own.

[–]Aquadog 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You absolutely need to keep your safety & mental health priorities. And I don't think its cowardly at all-people speaking up HAS caused some people to lose their jobs/reputations. While your testimony is super valuable, it's not on you to come forward if the risks outweigh the benefits.

[–]RestingWitchface 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Wow, those waiting times are insane! Last I was receiving mental health support on the NHS, they were so oversubscribed that they could basically only offer me other people's cancellations as and when they occured. After a while, I stopped hearing from them at all. No communication whatsoever.

[–]Lyssa[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I am so sorry it took that long to get real help! Your story confirmed everything I suspected about the standard of care in "gender clinics" and by "gender experts". They deserve to be driven out of business by lawsuits.

[–]dandeliondynasty 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

So sad for this child. If only the mental health & neurodivergent lobby had a fraction of the power of TRAs.

[–]Shinjin_Nana 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

What a terrifying story. I can't imagine feeling stuck after being transitioned needlessly.

This really needs to stop.

[–]salty-tomorrow 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This was an infuriating read. Poor girl.

[–]Nona_Biba 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This is depressing.