all 33 comments

[–][deleted] [score hidden] stickied comment (1 child)

We don't police other women's speech here, except insofar as that speech may be in defiance of our stated sub rules. These types of posts are not appropriate and only serve to make other users angry and cause feelings of alienation. We encourage you to contribute the content and discourse you wish to see on this sub, and to not extend your desires to telling people how to talk or how to feel.

[–]pirilampo 75 insightful - 4 fun75 insightful - 3 fun76 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

I actually find it kind of funny that the "trans women are not beautiful, valid, etc." post is literally the meanest thing I've seen on this sub so far, and it was heavily criticized by many of us. It's just so little compared to what they do. But yeah, I agree with you, and I wouldn't be surprised if posts like that are being made by TRA's trying to make us look bad.

[–]quickbeam 26 insightful - 1 fun26 insightful - 0 fun27 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

They will take anything out of context and post it on reddit to make it seem like everyone here is a horrible caricature. They used some racist stuff against us that was probably posted by the Nazi refugees coming onto the sub trying to corrupt it and claimed it was gender critical people too.

[–]RevengeOfTheCis 51 insightful - 2 fun51 insightful - 1 fun52 insightful - 2 fun -  (15 children)

Holy shit is this literally the third post TODAY telling us to be nice?

[–]venecia[S] 22 insightful - 3 fun22 insightful - 2 fun23 insightful - 3 fun -  (13 children)

I'm not nice. I'm just not on board with an obvious, almost pantomime version of what a ''TERF'' is getting to the top of the subsaiddit. It's what they want.

[–]RevengeOfTheCis 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (12 children)

What are you referring to, though? I haven't seen what you're describing and yet I've seen 3 posts just like this one in a single day. Can you provide an example?

[–]venecia[S] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (11 children)

[–]RevengeOfTheCis 40 insightful - 1 fun40 insightful - 0 fun41 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)

I mean it's a lame, low-effort post (sorry, original OP) but it's... not really comparable to what TRAs say to us. If THAT is the standard for "unduly mean" and "toxic" for women we are pretty much screwed, lol.

[–]quickbeam 22 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

"Kill them with kindness" is an expression for a reason. It often works. And it especially works when there's an undecided person and they see one side screeching abuse while the other side is sitting there calmly expressing an opinion.

[–]RevengeOfTheCis 23 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 0 fun24 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I agree with that, never said I didn't.

What I'm taking issue with is that there have been multiple posts today saying we are mean, but I have not seen any posts that are mean in my opinion. The OP of this post cited an example for me of what she thought was mean, and in my opinion it was hardly mean compared to TRAs saying we should shut up by having lady dicks shoved in our mouths and that JK Rowling should be raped.

[–]quickbeam 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Just because something is less mean doesn't mean it isn't mean. LOL at the number of times I used the word "mean" in one sentence. Anyway, sometimes when you have the less popular view (at the moment - who knows whether it will be less popular once people see what's actually at stake) you have to display an almost unfair level of excellence to avoid having your views discounted. I've mentioned on other posts that I was a vegan in the early days when most people associated it with wild PETA actions. Some of those PETA actions may have raised awareness, but I think they also often turned people off veganism, whereas quieter, less confrontational education efforts like Vegan Outreach probably had a more net positive effect on turning people to veganism.

[–]RevengeOfTheCis 21 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 0 fun22 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

We'll just have to agree to disagree that the post is mean. In my opinion, the post is low-effort, lame, and certainly not what I come here for, but I simply don't consider it mean.

But I definitely agree with you and see your point about how when you hold the less popular view, "you have to display an almost unfair level of excellence to avoid having your views discounted". That is very true!

[–]quickbeam 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'm all about agreeing to disagree. Take care and keep up the good fight!

[–]Marsupial 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Being calm and expressing an opinion is a different thing than what you're asking for. You're asking for meekly going along with their agenda because you're afraid of being viewed as "toxic". You're asking women to suppress their opinions, smile and be nice in order to get along, all because you didn't like the tone of one post. This is tone policing and more of the same old misogyny that women are not allowed to get angry or upset men or they deserve what's coming to them. This meekness you're suggesting is what lets TRAs take over subs on Reddit and move the boundaries in social media- people being afraid to speak up because "oh maybe it won't come across as nice!"

[–]quickbeam 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'm not asking for the things you say I am asking for. I'm asking us to treat other humans with the dignity and respect we want to be treated with. We don't have to agree with other people's opinions or accept just anyone into our spaces. But I see no purpose in lobbing insults at people. There's a very big difference between standing up for one's opinions with firmness and kindness and dignity on the one hand and with letting people walk over you with meekness on the other. Obviously I can't police your tone or affect the way you choose to speak. And I don't want to censor you either. I came to saidit precisely because I'm sick of policing speech on platforms. I just disagree with you on methods. That's all.

[–]missdaisycan 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You know, I had to come back to this post cause something was eating at me about it. Your original post came off as INSTRUCTING people what to do (and why).
Express your opinions, describe your experiences and perspective, I'll read. Tell me what to do? Uh uh.
Pot/kettle AFAIAC

[–]venecia[S] 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

And I mean, there's a ton of women there agreeing with me that it looks like a fake post. You're welcome to see it another way. We agree that it's low effort!

[–]Marsupial 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, it's absolute nonsense.

[–]adultxhumanxfemale 28 insightful - 2 fun28 insightful - 1 fun29 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I get what you mean but this feels like being told to smile by some old grandpa guy who feels he has good intentions. Is there ever a time we don't have to police our words for the feelings of others?

And it was all the fighting and debate between TRAs and not nice GC folks that got me to peek down the rabbit hole in the first place. All of that impassioned rhetoric draws readers.

[–]missdaisycan 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Absolutely, this. Is the agreed prescribed affect of this group is to be superly nicety nice nice? Head pats and hugs for everyone, yeah! /s What about having some diversity in a group? Oof, sorry, I forgot women are all supposed to be alike, we Are just a stereotype, don't you know... If OP thought the Post she sited was violating group guidelines, shouldn't she have reported it?

[–]Marsupial 19 insightful - 2 fun19 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Yes ladies, just be quiet and smile and accept getting walked all over by men as they take away your rights and freedom, don't you dare get angry or be rude in response and don't forget to be grateful to them! How unfeminine to not be NICE and SWEET and UNDERSTANDING as you're getting stepped on.

[–]Marsupial 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Yeah, no. Let's not do the tone policing. And no, they're not going to wake up and think "oh, these people are reasonable in their critique" when they're constantly craving attention and validation and threaten violence against people who go against their agenda. This is naive.

[–]Overdrive 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's not them we are trying to sway, it's everyone else.

[–]writerlylesbian 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Just be nice!

No. Do you even understand this started as a radical feminist space, OP?

I'm starting to think all the worthwhile posters went to Spinster.

[–][deleted] 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don’t care if they see us as “reasonable” or not. What is reasonable anyway?

They created terf as a pejorative to attack anyone that that did not buy into the transcult.

Then they told us to choke on their dicks. They aren’t lesbians either.

What I appreciate about Saidit is no virtue signaling.

Edit: if there are posts telling us that we somehow are mean, it could very well be the cult following us over here ftom Reddit attempting to colonize. I found a Saidit 21-hour old GenderCynical sub yesterday that said that they were here to migrate.

[–]Overdrive 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Peaceful protest works astoundingly well when the people you are protesting against is violent against you. It's the tactic employed by Martin Luther King Jr. And despite how we feel on the inside, it is a tactic well worth considering. JK Rowling calmly replying to all the hate spewed at her comes to mind.

[–][deleted] 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

No, not when someone is threatening to punch you, rape you, stalking you online, shutting down your spaces, infiltrating your spaces. Playing “nice” gets women walked on, always has and always will.

[–]Nona_Biba 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I've been doing this! There are whole comment thread "arguments" where I've upvoted everyone because they both make good points. GC feminists disagree about many things but we can still respect each other and get along.

[–]Maeven 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Discussing tactical choices can be useful.

Though I understand people get angry and need to vent and that is totally understandable.

It's a tough dilemma women have always faced.