Hello all of you wonderful people! I have posted this in a few places.

This will not be as well written as I would like. I am rocking the tail end of a migraine. Screens are not my friend. I am staring at the keyboard as I type.

I read a lot of your posts on Reddit. I am a lesbian. I had a girlfriend when I was growing up, not a boyfriend. Through the years, I had to hide in secret. The word lesbian was known as a dirty word. I grew up in a conservative, military household.

All of the time hiding, keeping my romance in secret, and then I come out, and then--I feel like I have to go back into the closet? No!

I am tall. I am athletic, I have different degrees, and I am still pursuing more (I think I will have 6 total, not kidding when I am done). I am not trying to be arrogant, but I thought if I do not use my credentials for some good, what will any of this matter? SO I switched paths out of science to Psychology (yes!)

I am single.I have long hair and I have many hobbies. Translation: the trans chase me. They all chase me for my height, because they want to feel more femme. They want to use me as a prop, as an accessory.

I had to see more than one therapist to ask the question, and insist on the answer. ALL MTF go to their therapists stating they want to be subby, the little spoon, and want someone larger, to make them feel better, to make them feel euphoric, for their sexual kicks, to use as a prop, as a disposable washcloth. Not. Even. Kidding!

In the past, I was kind and nice and I thought of myself as left and woke (so gross). I supported the TQ and I walked in marches, went to fundraisers, tried to become friends with them, and gave speeches, I was asked to be interviewed on talk shows locally.

All the while, something was happening. I was receiving contact from several hundred trans, all saying they wanted me, wanted to marry me, on dating apps, and on FB, calling me the holy grail in dating, wanting me to be the big spoon. They said I was like a man with my height, and I validate trans. Some would send me links to high heels asking me to wear them. Some would ask if they could date me, and if I would NOT wear makeup, so they could pass better. Some would send me links to BDSM sites. They wanted me to hit them, step on them, and the requests were sometimes strange. I received over 200 marriage proposals, from sometimes wealthy trans, some of which you have seen in the news. A handful of them readily supplied me with their Driver's License number, full name, demanding I do background checks on them (they have money) to accept their hand in marriage.

These are the first messages they are sending me! I was not flirting with them! I woke up (and still do) to several messages from trans, demanding I sleep with them, or calling me a terf and racist if I politely said "no thanks". And that I should die. These are from people who have all the surgeries, most of them, and are not the young teens RA on reddit screaming out. These are people with education, money, and power. One is a semi famous musician.

At the time I was trying to be open and tried my hardest to be diplomatic and kind. Of course, I refused these requests but I tried to become friends with some. I tried not to think of them as an other, or less than, or to put them in a category. I tried to take a step back, take a breath, and not judge.

Well friends, several hundred in the United States is a statistically valid representation of the population, if even convenience sampling.

The thing is, I was getting verbally abused. Stalked. Not just digitally stalked, after I told some kindly to go away, some took airplanes, drove from different areas, to take jobs in my location, to try and find me, to try and convince me to be with them. Some got crafty and found my Linkedin and tied it back to my university credentials and tied that back to finding very personal information about me, my business, and where I live. Since I have removed so much! I put my university credentials in FERPA lockdown.

They were all verbally abusive to me in the same ways. They all even said the exact same words (cult), like taking hormones was like "going from black and white to color." If they would say Hi, I would say Hi back, and ask how things were going to make small talk. I was never one who would consider myself a b!tch. I am someone who volunteers with animals, elderly, and kids! I do fundraisers! I sing for the elderly!

It got worse.

Some found me.

I had my right rib, 3rd down, broken by a trans in an altercation who was losing their marbles because I did not want them.

One found me in a gay club and smashed a glass across me after finding me. Out of the blue! No talk, just whammo! Trans enby smashing me!

(For the record, I do not drink, smoke, or use drugs).

I have changed my name.

I shut down my FB account, and have a barely there instagram that is locked down with fake credentials tied to fake phone numbers tied to secured emails across VPN connections.

I reported multiple to the police. Didn't make the news. I tried to get restraining orders, and was told the screen shots and audio recordings I had of "all cis must die" from one trans who was part of the health insurance for trans campaign, including others , would be filed only.

My pleas for help were not taken seriously.

I have been chased as a fetish on dating apps and in social media.

Some kweer or pan women, some who identify as bi, have chased me on dating apps thinking that I AM trans because of my height. No, I exited a uterus with a uterus,. Some trans think I AM trans because of my height. I get asked if I have a penis. I get the craziest things flying my way.

I do not think shorter lesbians or shorter women deal with this. Not to this extent.

I get males harassing me, trans males, ugh! I want to cut off my hair and totally go masculine, but I already have eben threatened and jump because men thought I am trans. I cannot win!

Where is the safe place to live????!!!!

I have been stalked, insulted, attacked, and I have been afraid for my life.

I know that speaking publicly will get me canceled, and my career will take a hit.

I have reached the I do not care point.

I have been off dating apps for a time, and today I created two, and listed my peak trans moments, that I will not accept PIV, that PIV is assault, rape, an attack of the autonomy of women, and is the definition of violence. I will not go through conversion therapy.

I stated also that males taking cross sex hormones experience estradiol withdrawals, and that is NOT PMS, that is a human being that should NOT be on those hormones, losing their minds--daily, if not weekly depending on if they take pill form or injection. If none of you have heard about this--look it up. This is why so many get estradiol from secondary sources, their docs will not give them "enough". When they inject, around day five, they start experiencing the come down. This is what they are talking about when trans say they have PMS. They are acting like out of control pieces of fecking chite once a week and comparing themselves to women., Feckers!

My dating profile basically looks like a peak trans post now. I have stated, more eloquently, my experience with Q and T, very specific, why I will not date them, and have included specific examples of people without names who are known.

I do not care if I get a date or not, I am so done with it all! I thought about not having it up, does it look aggressive? Too bad.

That is my first step I am taking to becoming more verbal. I need to take baby steps. Also, I am hoping to educate other women out there who are curious about dating trans. People with personality disorders who are taking cross sex hormones. So, you have men, who have most likely been through trauma (and that sucks that sucks!) who have relational trauma, attachment trauma (most times), personality disorders, anxiety, and worse, and then you let them inject themselves with an unstable female overlay hormone. What could go wrong with that?

That was a very ranty post. I could have typed better. I am hoping that my outright blunt profiles will at least attract some true lesbians who are not down with this, and more will come forward. Because the more of us who do start speaking up, will impact others. They all cannot just keep drinking the Koolaid. The well is poisoned. The soil is toxic.

Thank you so much for creating this. I cried the day those subreddits were banned. It was not just that they were banned, it was that we were all charged with thought crimes. Minority Report I fear, is not too far off.

Thanks so much for existing and reading my novel if you did.

Have a lovely day.