First time I showed my insecurity towards being a girl (that I know of) I was about 10. In a conversation with my friend we wondered what it would be like to be a boy; I said if there was a pill to turn into one, I'd take it. She asked: "even if it got you a penis?" - I said yes.
In my early teens, I was afraid of turning 15 because I thought I would turn into a girly girl who did makeup, fry voice, and liked to go shopping with her girl friends.
At 16, I vented to an internet friend how I wanted to be "flat" (my chest).
Today I finally voiced to someone how I never felt very comfortable with my womanhood. Internet or not. I also said, though - that doesn't make me not a woman. I was so vulnerable and it makes me so scared to voice this out loud - especially since she herself said she never felt this way herself.
I don't know what kind of validation I'm looking for, but it's both freeing and deeply very scary to tell this to someone.
I'm comfortable with being a woman because that is what I am, if that means adult human female, and it means I share many common things with lots of other women who grew up in this messed up world.
It was reading all these things on gendercritical and watching Magdalen Berns that made me feel uncomfortable and like I didn't belong. Not because it's your fault, but because thinking too much about it. It's all very scary.
I don't know where to talk about this so I figured I could come here. I don't want to go to detrans subs because it'll make me overthink. Just wanted some validation and love or advice if it's not too much to ask.
[–]BEB 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun - (6 children)
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[–]MarkTwainiac 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun - (1 child)
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[–]iloveyou[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun - (8 children)
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[–]jelliknight 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun - (5 children)
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[–]jelliknight 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun - (3 children)
[–]iloveyou[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun - (2 children)
[–]jelliknight 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun - (1 child)
[–]iloveyou[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun - (0 children)