I moved to live in another country when I was in my early twenties. My actual home country is quite equal and liberal (in the good sense), and it was a horrible shock to realize that men in my new country were pretty much a bunch of sexist arseholes.

I was not prepared for the constant, daily onslaught of hollering, wolf-whistling, cat calling, leering and outright suggestions of "how much I cost" or what men would like to do to me. Needless to say that for a pretty timid woman suffering from social anxiety this was a terrible experience. I soon understood that I drew attention due to my looks - still to this day I stand out from the crowd like a sore thumb with my almost-transparent pale skin and blonde hair. I was the perfect victim for all the perverts. I was young and looked scared. And truth be told, I was scared.

At some point I started to change the way I dressed and behaved. I'd consciously put on a bit baggier clothes and would e.g. cross the street if I saw a man or group of men approaching me. If I was not able to hide away from them I tried to make myself as small and invisible as I could. In my mind - back then - that seemed to be the only way to escape the persistent harassment. But it didn't work, not really. The more I tried to move about completely unseen, the more I seemed to gain attraction. My imagined Invisibility Cloak was more like a big neon sign above my head, saying "HERE! LOOK HERE!"

There's this weird notion that men who catcall or make intrusive suggestions might be doing that because they just don't understand boundaries. The truth is: these men were (and are) brought up to believe they are the Kings of the Universe, and women are but a prop to them. An item, an object, fulfillment of any and every sexual desire they may have. When these Royal Dudes grow up and realize that they are, in fact, not going to get "what they deserve" (read: any woman they think is attractive) they start to bully and belittle women. In my opinion it is pure scare tactics: on some base level they have come to understand they will never get the women they may want, and so they channel this frustration in the only way they are able to. Making women scared, becoming frightened by the mere sight of men, forcing us to be timid and quiet, robbing the very air we breathe as we have the audacity to not be their demure little sex toys.

As this thought finally started to sink in I begun to become more and more angry. These degenerates had actually succeeded in their goal: to make me afraid and run away. I had tried to change everything about myself and how I acted, to no avail. But it was never - should never - be the woman who changes, gives space, or fearfully scurries away. I let this anger build up in me for a while, until I reached my final Peak Pervy Men.

Oh, now there is a lot of rage. And I am not fearful anymore, oh no sir. I walk the streets as if I own them: just like they do. I make it absolutely clear that I take my space. I walk with my head held high, marching like a little feminazi indeed. I do not shy away from men anymore: occasionally I even walk by them so close I practically force them to move aside. If there is a group of guys who expect me to give way, I just storm through (elbows out, ladies). If they look at me, I stare back, relentlessly. And who knew?! The shouts, leering and sexist comments have dropped to near zero. Only by taking my space was I ever going to receive it. A lesson I wish I had learned years ago but oh well: better late than never.

Goes without saying - the same technique of simply not giving an INCH is the only one that will work when you battle TRA's, incels (same thing, different name...), or just simple misogynist dimwits that we, as WOMEN, encounter every single day. Don't let them make you feel frightened. Don't allow them to steal your oxygen. Don't give them even the smallest reason to imagine you're scared of them. That will only fuel their privileged egotism.

Fight you must. It won't be easy, and I speak from personal experience. Before I truly reached the IDGAF moment I had to pretend to look brave; to force myself to stay on the same side of the street, look them in the eye etc. It was extremely uncomfortable at first - I was, after all, still scared on many levels. But as I kept on practicing, I noted that the "practice" had suddenly become my reality. Now I am determined and ruthless and simply will not accept any shit from any man. It is the only way that works.

Good luck on your personal (and larger) fights. Don't give in and don't give up. Chin up. Straighten your back. This world - whether in real life or online - belongs to us as well, and it can only be taken away if we surrender.

So let's make sure we won't.

(Edit: clumsy wording.)