MtF realizes it's hard to be a woman way too late.

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[–]BEB 41 insightful - 15 fun41 insightful - 14 fun42 insightful - 15 fun -  (0 children)

tl;dr Men can't handle being women. In fact, they can't even handle LARPing as women.

[–]crodish 43 insightful - 1 fun43 insightful - 0 fun44 insightful - 1 fun -  (11 children)

I want to sympathize but at the same time, were all these people who regret it just plugging their ears when GC disagreed with them? So many times I keep hearing things like "no one stopped me or told me I didn't have to" but it's all OUT THERE.

I'm very surprised this dude's family is still together for him, I hope once he does drop it that he'll have a more peaceful life.

[–]blahblahgcer 38 insightful - 1 fun38 insightful - 0 fun39 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

As someone who id detrans: you can avoid any people saying anything very, very easily. GC on reddit was "bad" because of the transphobia, so why would I read it? And everywhere else is massively pro trans.

Is it any wonder I detransitioned like a week after finding /r/gc?

[–]BEB 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Good for you and very glad you're here!

[–]spinell 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

There is a whole world outside reddit.

[–]Comatoast 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

It's a disconnect from reality. Think of it similarly to women that won't leave deadbeats. They have friends that tell them for years to go. Seemingly it has to be the right wording, like an effing incantation that calls them to the senses; verbal smelling salts. That's when it all comes rushing back.

[–]Complicated-Spirit 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

That’s....not the same. A “deadbeat” is often the same guy who will ignore any kind of court order to stay away from you and hunt you down for leaving him. A woman staying with a man she’s afraid of isn’t a simple matter of “she must just be stupid to choose to stay”.

[–]Comatoast 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

That's very much a stalker, not a deadbeat. I'm just talking about dudes that do bare minimum and leech off of their girlfriends/wives, expecting them to do all of the everything. Lazy fuckers.

Good job though, you had me hanging there and my second guessing myself game was strong. I had to look up the definition on google. This is not to shit on you, it's been Hell Week.

[–]carvedapple 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I'm just talking about dudes that do bare minimum and leech off of their girlfriends/wives, expecting them to do all of the everything. Lazy fuckers.

To be honest I kinda got that vibe from the op in that Reddit post. I don't want to be mean, but his wife has removed his hair for him and he's tired of it...? I wonder what else she does for him. His make-up?

[–]denverkris 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

"no one stopped me or told me I didn't have to" but it's all OUT THERE

I don't think the people who are considering transition want to hear any dissenting voices, and TRA's have gone to a great deal of trouble to make sure anyone providing any opinion other than "YES DO IT! SO BRAVE AND STUNNING! UWU!" gets painted as a bigot. I've seen a couple of posts like this in honesttransgender and a few other places on reddit as well, I think I may have even posted in one. It was the same thing, OP was opining about how hard it was being a woman, and I responded "Yes. Did you think it would be easy?" which was actually well received by the OP and we went on to have a very decent convo, much to the horror of many of the other people in the sub.

Creating these echo chambers is soooo harmful. No one gets a well rationed opinion on any complicated subject.

[–]Anonimouse 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Beyond the support messages, they also pull out of a lot of "sociology" or gender studies citations to make it seem like everything is on their side and TERF is just the new racist.

[–]denverkris 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Yes, or we're all just "religious alt right nazis" or something. I'm a bisexual atheist who only dated women for about 25 years and up until a few years ago was staunchly left leaning AND a supporter of "trans rights". They took it way too far and tipped me over.

[–]Anonimouse 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Similar. Was (and still am) far left, but the trans ideology just kept pushing for more insane things. Funnily enough, the tra's I knew were basically for gender abolition, except when needed to reinforce trans identity.

ETA: the peakening, though not interesting enough for the thread, was realising that the discourse was going from sex and gender aren't the same, gender is the social performative bit; to claiming sex is also a spectrum, and arbitrariliy asigned. Basically, AMAB/AFAB did it.

[–]fuckingsealions 40 insightful - 1 fun40 insightful - 0 fun41 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Wow, good first comment:

I tell this to everyone scared of being a “hassle” by detransitioning. Almost everyone in your life will be relieved. They will silently think “Thank God it’s over”.

Your family sounds like they love you dearly and want what is best for you. Do what you believe is best for your happiness and mental health. Don’t let “the hassle” stop you from living your life how you want. We’ve only got one shot at this, don’t waste any time not being your best self.

You deserve a good life. Don’t be scared to live it.

[–]DorothyGale 27 insightful - 1 fun27 insightful - 0 fun28 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I found one of the replies interesting "The only abuse I experienced was from transgender professionals calling me delusional, female and refusing/delaying help in returning to my birth gender."

Anyway, I feel some sympathy but only a limited amount; this person is an adult man and he was capable of making his own health decisions. Yes the healthcare and mental health system is and has been failing people in this area but lets face it this didn't happen without a significant push from trans lobbyists. It is what they demanded. I suspect this man stomped the odd foot or two himself with Reddit trans behind him egging him on every step of the way - he doesn't seem to be blaming them as well. I feel more sympathy for his family who have no doubt been through hell and for younger people going through this who need people to guide them. Yes there have been fundamental failures in the system but I don't feel that sorry for middle aged adult men who put their entire families through monumental crap who are now tired of hair removal. Accept some responsibility man, you put your fetish before your family and now it is too much effort for you to maintain. Remember this IS an adult, who made adult decisions and probably shouted down the people who disagreed with him.

[–]denverkris 11 insightful - 5 fun11 insightful - 4 fun12 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Remember when middle aged men just bought a sports car or something when they had their mid life crisis?

[–][deleted] 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This guy's wrecked his health for life. Very depressing.

That first comment is right though, I think even the most surface-level supportive families deep down wish their family member would just be their birth sex and GNC rather than trans. I see a lot of trans-identified people take all the compliments and support at face value.

[–]Shesstealthy 17 insightful - 2 fun17 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I'm reminded of Richard O'Brien, cancelled for saying he's still a man, who has always been an effeminate bisexual male and who now as a elderly person takes some oestrogen while identifying as part man part woman. He's been fortunate to have a bespoke approach. Why can't men like this guy be encouraged to embrace their ambiguity instead of urged into an all or nothing transition?

There have always been ambiguous people. How much kinder to everyone to celebrate difference instead of rewriting what a woman is?

[–]denverkris 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I've noticed this alot. The world seems to be embracing even more rigid rules regarding things. There must be a word for "exactly" which type of "gender" or "sexuality" you have. You know, like "trans masc non binary pansexual" (i actually saw that recently). And things are very black and white. You're not voting for Biden? Well then, you must be the opposite of a Biden voter, which is a MAGA hat wearing, Trump voting racist bigot. There is no in between. You don't celebrate and applaud when a 10 year old girl decides she's a boy? Well then obviously you're a transphobic bigot who wants all trans people to die.

[–]Doobeedoo661 16 insightful - 4 fun16 insightful - 3 fun17 insightful - 4 fun -  (3 children)

I can’t get past his admission of wearing only “vests and tracksuits“ because my understanding of a vest is a waistcoat, found in a three piece suit and a tracksuit, is a tracksuit. He brags about braces and fedoras? What a screaming fucking incel.

[–]ArthnoldManacatsaman 18 insightful - 3 fun18 insightful - 2 fun19 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

OP (the Reddit one) is from the UK. A 'vest' in the UK is (I think) a US 'tank top'.

Edit: But yes, incel.

[–]Doobeedoo661 13 insightful - 7 fun13 insightful - 6 fun14 insightful - 7 fun -  (1 child)

Oh a SINGLET lmao, okay, I’m from Australia so I now understand, thank you - still an incel and likely balding considering his fancy hat predilection.

[–]arcticbasket 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Haha - at least all the countries agree on what a tracksuit is!

[–]meranii 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Honestly, I have little sympathy for that person. Sounds like his family and the people around him have done so much for him and while he acknowledges his wife's hard work, there's no mention of what he's done for her or her actual feelings. Just "she lovingly supported me", now it'd be embarrassing to tell her and everyone else he's changed his mind.

It's still all narcissism, he doesn't like this and that about being a woman, it's not awesome and special and sexy like he thought it would be. I see a total lack of personal responsibility, he "feels lied to" and is delusional about supposedly being able to pass as male or female.

[–]SeahorseLT 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Yeah, that's what I saw, too. I mean it's sad he screwed up his body permanently. But the stuff he focuses on? He doesn't seem to realize what kind of sh*** his family had to go through - he focuses on the fact that his wife had to do the electrolysis treatments for him. And how he's tired of it all.

Being a woman isn't as glamorous as he thought.

I think the first response struck gold: they will be happy if he's dad again. Husband again. Not LARPing his days away.

[–]spinell 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

He sounds completly egomanical. Not a single thought spared on anyone but himself.

[–][deleted] 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

"Post op mtf regret ADVICE REQUEST Hi I'm a post op mtf for about 7 years now... My wife and family stood by me, and after a very tough ride life has settled. I however am coming to miss my old life, my normalness and lots of my old male things.

I am sick of make up, sick of hair removal and sick of clothes. I now live in just vests and tracksuits, I spend most of my time at my allotment anyway but my dressing up days are long gone. I only wear foundation as my face is red and blotchy from years of electrolysis or plucking. I am so so fat even through I eat well and run/dig my allotment lots. And since my surgery I have been so run down and ill, like my immune system is screwed.

Before I transitioned I was into vintage male fashion, braces, pin striped suits and lots of dancing. And lots of hats, fedoras, trilby etc.

I just feel lied to. Since a young age I have always thought I 'should have' been female. Yet even now I still feel I should have been female not that I am female.

I felt rushed through the nhs, I had no councilling or support, I feel I have detransitioned in all but law and name as I am scared. I just wish I could be just me and blend in and be normal. Is this possible?

My children love me being their other mum, but my son feels lonely being the only boy in the house. I am scared detransitioning will cause them more hassle like the abuse we got when I transitioned.

My wife also stood by me lovingly through it all. She learnt electrolysis, she has spent years removing my facial hair And yet it still keeps growing.... I feel I would let her down going back after all her hard work.

I am also scared incase I mess my mental health up only to retransition although I doubt I would. I distrust doctors so much now.

I had full grs but don't really care about that, I dislike my chest, feeling perminatly tired and weak. Sick of hair removal, it feels like trying to stoo the tide coming in. I think I am also quite scared that detransitioning will be like dropping if a cliff edge in speed. Eg I sound male, I can be read as both male or female so I honestly don't think it would take much to fit back in. I do quite like having long hair tho, I have always had long hair since 13yrs and I'm now 38.... But a short hair cut would speed up the process.

Sorry for the long burst, just lots of pent up fear.."

[–]lefterfield 29 insightful - 4 fun29 insightful - 3 fun30 insightful - 4 fun -  (2 children)

God, I really feel sorry for men and women like this. The victims the cult leaves in their woke, believing the problem is with them and not the lies they were told.

[–]our_team_is_winning 24 insightful - 14 fun24 insightful - 13 fun25 insightful - 14 fun -  (1 child)

The victims the cult leaves in their woke

I know you meant "in their wake," but you gotta admit, that is the PERFECT Freudian slip!

[–]lefterfield 10 insightful - 8 fun10 insightful - 7 fun11 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

It wasn't a mistake actually, but a pun. Thank you for noticing! :D

[–]hmimperialtortie 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks for copying it, he’s since deleted the original.

Zero sympathy for him. Call it karma.

[–]just_lesbian_things 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

He's not a woman. Never was, still isn't. He figured out the hard way that (elective) surgeries, messing with your endocrinology system, and permanent live action role-playing is exhausting and detrimental to your general well-being.

[–]MadLass 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Now correct me if Im wrong but doesn't someone whos had grs have to stay on hormones for life even if they detransition? I hope he can talk to a doctor about if he decides to go through with it.

[–]MarkTwainiac 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

"GRS" - gender reassignment surgery - has a very broad, vague meaning these days. For most TIMs nowadays, especially the adult ones, "GRS" means surgeries that have nothing to do with the genitals: getting sacs of gel or fluid implanted onto their chests, facial feminization surgery, tracheal shaves, fat injections, liposuction, body contouring and so on.

Also, if he had his testes removed, he could take exogenous T just as easily as he could continue to take cross-sex hormones.

As for having to stay on exogenous hormones "for life" - I'm not sure that is the case for all men, though I don't really know. I know older and elderly men with "low T" or who are "hypogonadal" for one reason or another, and they're not taking either exogenous T or cross-sex hormones.

Lots of women have to have their/our gonads removed for medical reasons, but it is not customary for HRT to be prescribed for us for life coz for the past 20 years, the medical profession has been acutely aware of the health risks of true hormone replacement therapy (meaning replacing the sex hormones one's own body would normally take) in women. Usually, the HRT of women who've had gonadectomies is cut off by or at the age menopause would occur (circa 50).

[–]grixit 7 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I am sick of make up, sick of hair removal and sick of clothes.

Well, you wanted to experience life as a woman.

[–]spinell 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Hormones are no joke! I am a strong person with health and a strong mind! But when the pms/ period hormones hit me like a ton of bricks, I'm out. Like, game over. I am helpless. I am out for 3-4 days bedridden. I would NEVER dare to start messing around with such a powerful force.