She listened to my problems for hours and I barely reciprocated. She was patient and understanding and I returned the favor by badgering her endlessly. I've come to the conclusion that I don't deserve love. I don't deserve a partner or even a friend. I only ruin people's lives and I'm cursed by fate. Whatever I touch turns to dust. I can't let that happen to her. I'm going to live the rest of my life as a hermit. I'm not going to bother anybody or cause problems for them.

I think some people are just doomed to misery. There's nothing I can do. I was just created wrong. Two unwanted individuals that should never have had children created another unwanted person. I've never been wanted by anybody and that's ok. I realize that life is not fair and I shouldn't expect it to be fair.

I was going to spend my life upset about my loneliness until I met her. She's divine. So sweet that all my former bitterness turned to love. I can't live without her. My life after she's gone will be that of a rotting corpse. Effectively dead.

But I'm not going to bother her after she leaves me. I want the best for her. I want her to live the life I never could. With a happy family and a happy ever after. I don't care about my happiness at all. All I want is to see her get everything she ever wanted. I care about her more then I care about my own family. When I was at my lowest she heard me out and made me whole again. I feel reborn. Even if it was just for a few days I felt like a human being. I'm in heaven after a lifetime of hell.

I love her so much. If only she would love me back. But happiness was not meant for me in this life. Maybe in the next one.