BisexualHere's why "pansexuality" makes no goddamn sense

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[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 22 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

They DON'T fall in love with personality though, or what's stopping them from falling in love with children, the elderly, extremely ugly people, deformed people, etc etc. Why is it that they only fall in love with the personalities of people who happen to be conventionally attractive?

[–]InLaymansterms 9 insightful - 5 fun9 insightful - 4 fun10 insightful - 5 fun -  (4 children)

The only pan person I knew is also in a dysfunctional poly relationship and is an empath/narcissist who has to tell everyone about their pansexuality and relationship, even random customers.

[–]reluctant_commenter 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

who has to tell everyone about their pansexuality and relationship, even random customers

Well that's weird.

I don't know why but I am kind of uneasy about the word "empath". It always confuses me, like, you know, everybody (or almost everybody) has at least some varying degree of empathy and compassion, right? Making it into a binary variable of "I'm an empath or I'm not!" weirds me out.

[–]Feather 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

.

[–]reluctant_commenter 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That's very interesting. What you're describing sounds kind of like a covert narcissist, ironically. I have only ran into a couple people who call themselves empaths but now I am curious lol, I'll keep an eye out. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

[–]InLaymansterms 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Same, then I realized empaths are basically narcissists in the way that they want to feel special. Like, everyone has a degree of empathy, it’s a human thing.

[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

i can confirm the only people that are pan are kids, the only people i've met that said they were pansexual were 11 and 14. most likely want attention or were brainwashed by the alphabet soup

[–]reluctant_commenter 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Or peer pressured into saying they were pan and not bi.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I've met only one that I know of and she was 19 at the time, a couple of years ago.

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

my only use for the word pan is that I don't think most of us want a set of boobs w/ penis or A flat chested male with a vagina. I hear bi people say they don'y want it mixed like that so I don't know what other label to use.

[–]LasagnaRossa 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm one of those bisexuals who would like to keep the difference between the two words.

Technically you're right: pan people like both genders/sexes.

But most people don't like the mix between sexual characteristics. If I'm dating a girl, I expect a vulva, not a dick, and vice versa, if I'm dating a man I expect a dick, not a vulva. Most people aren't attracted anymore once the clothes go off and genitals don't match the appearance.

On the contrary it looks like some people can. It's neat that there is a word to describe their attraction too.

Of course I'm talking about the old meaning, not the new one. The new one is totally pointless. You like people for their personality? Wow, you're so unique 🙄

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Hard agree. I wouldn't mind it if it didn't over complicate things and give people more excuses to shit on bisexuality. We don't have a sexuality for people attracted to those with extreme body mods because that's a preference within existing sexualities, not a separate one by itself.

Same goes for those attracted to trans people. They are sometimes called chasers if they exclusively seek out trans people, but that is a personal preference and they are still either gay, straight, or bi. Sometimes they are wrestling with internalized homophobia and use trans people as a way to act out their same sex attraction. Like closeted men who sleep with trans women because "it's not gay if it looks like a girl". A man who is only attracted to men and trans women (regardless of whether they pass or have a neovag) is homosexual by definition. He is only attracted to males. Pan is redundant and unnecessary.

Passing trans men are female and passing trans women are male. Not to mention that a trans man's "dick" or trans woman's "vagina" are nowhere close to the real things. People who are androgynous, possess mixed sex characteristics, or are passing trans are not a third sex. Pansexuality implies that they are and that those attracted to passing trans people need a special label when it isn't that complex. You can be gay, straight, or bi with a preference or fetish for masculinity/femininity at their extremes (passing trans) but being attracted to trans people isn't a sexuality.

[–]RedditHatesLesbiansHomosexual Not Queer 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Have a friend at school who's pansexual with a boyfriend. I assume she's straight and going through a quirky "look at me I'm special" phase.

[–]Canardyyy 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I've seen pansexual adults and most of them are very quirky and use that pansexuality as a personality or to gain brownie points with other to make themselves seem more inclusive.