I'm really glad I wasn't manipulated into thinking I was trans by the online LBGT community when I was younger

submitted by spinalcentipede from self.LGBDropTheT

I first realized I wasn't straight shortly after my 13th birthday. Back then I wasn't a part of any LGBT related online communities, in fact I was low key homophobic because I was raised in a really homophobic environment. It was a very confusing and hard time for me, and naturally I looked for advice and people to talk to on the internet since I didn't have anyone to talk to in real life. That's when I first became involved with the 'LGBT community'.

I started watching a lot of lgbt related videos on Youtube, reading articles, stories, following lgbt meme accounts... basically I sank deep into the online community and slowly got indoctrinated with many of their stereotypical ideologies. I was particularly fascinated with trans people, I looked at a lot of trans related content, read studies regarding transgenderism, I even debated pro-trans in a competitive debate.

Naturally, this fascination of mine made me question if I could possibly be trans. I've always been your stereotypical tomboy - all my friends were always guys, I have trouble relating to most women, my clothing choices and haircut kind of make me look like a guy, I have stereotypically masculine hobbies and interests. I've always hated when people assumed I couldn't do something because I was a girl, I always despised gender stereotypes and assumptions. And on top of that, I was now attracted to girls. Pair that up with the fact that I had sunk deep into the LGBT ideologies and of course I had to have doubts about if I was trans or not.

I just hate so much like I can't just be a tomboy without people assuming I'm trans or trying to convince me I am. My own father, who is a homophobe and a transphobe by definition, asked me if I 'felt like I was a boy' when I cut my hair shorter than usual. My mum's friends asked her if I was trans simply because I cut my hair and wore typically boys clothes around that age. I could've easily just given into all this and convinced myself I was trans.

Despite all this, I always came to the conclusion that I was very much comfortable being a girl. I may not be comfortable with people assuming things about me and underestimating me because I am one, but that just means I have to prove them wrong, not that I need to change myself to fit their stereotypes.

I feel so sorry for all the people who were manipulated into thinking they were trans for being different and had to detransition later in life. And I'm really glad I wasn't one of them.

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[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'm really happy for you! Damn, what's happening to the world going backwards...

[–]spinalcentipede[S] 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thank you! I'm lucky enough to live in a country where people still remain quite detached from all these American issues but it's starting to get worse.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm glad you never got indoctrinated into becoming trans. Hopefully your family will come to accept that you being a lesbian is a part of your life.

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'm glad for you too. Instead of changing the human to fit the definition of "feminine gender role" they need to change the definition of "feminine gender role" to fit the human. How they managed to put the cart before the horse in such a way, I'll never understand. It seems so obvious to me. If a woman can do XYZ, then XYZ is a feminine thing that women do. I don't care if XYZ is touch football, auto mechanics, shaved head, or whatever stereotypical masculine bullshit you can think of. If a woman can do it, then it's a woman thing. End of story.

[–]spinalcentipede[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yes, exactly!

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

You're a strong person... I'm glad you resisted giving in. LGB kids should have it easier now but there is this new homophobia to deal with.

[–]spinalcentipede[S] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thank you. I live in a quite conservative country so I still have to deal mostly with the 'old' type of homophobia in real life, and then this shit on the internet.

[–]reluctant_commenter 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I am really glad you weren't manipulated into thinking that. Hats off to you for dealing with all of that.

I had a moment where I was reading about all the trans stuff, and realized: "I could easily be nonbinary." But I didn't understand what an "innate sense of gender" meant, or how "transitioning" was any different from just conforming to gender stereotypes really, really hard. I decided to just read a ton about it and accept whatever the information supported, and if I was nonbinary then I was nonbinary and if the whole idea was bullshit, the whole idea was bullshit.

Turns out, the whole idea was bullshit. We'd have a lot more people recognizing this if they had the time and resources to go through the arguments and information available, and decide for themselves, rather than getting peer pressured into bowing to trans activists.

[–]les4leshomonormative 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Same here, i remember asking a few older nonbinary friends for explanations when i was 16-17 because I truly did not get it at the time, and though I tried to be understanding I couldn't help feeling that their personal gender identities were probably more or less universal to women who grew up in misogynist homes or communities... they told me I might be nonbinary as well, so I'm grateful I never followed through

I'm still hoping for more people to recognize this too. With so many people out of work/working remotely/stuck at home and with all the drama coming up around JKR at first, and I think Mermaids now, a lot of people are peaking. I'm a little hopeful that'll keep happening

[–]spinalcentipede[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Same here, I definitely thought about that too. I could easily say I'm nonbinary but I just never saw the point of that, it's just stupid.

[–]Ossidiana 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

My mum's friends asked her if I was trans simply because I cut my hair and wore typically boys clothes around that age.

What the heck is wrong with America/UK these days? I'm really scared you guys are going to import this insanity over Europe.....

[–]spinalcentipede[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

mate I live in Europe

[–]Ossidiana 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Seriously? Odd, as Europe hasn't spiralled THAT far yet.

[–]spinalcentipede[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

No, it hasn't, It's just my surroundings probably. My country is definitely one of the more generally conservative ones when it comes to the majority of people.

[–]Astrid2448 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Most of the gay people I know would've believed they were trans or AT LEAST nonbinary if they grew up with this stuff.