LGB ErasureOnly way to be actual homosexual nowadays seems to be trans and date other trans

submitted by [deleted] from self.LGBDropTheT

If you are transman A dating transman B, it seems to be the only actually lesbian relationship that uwu patrol seems to approve of.

Likewise transwoman A dating transwoman B seems to be only actually gay relationship the UwU validation crowd loves.

Why is it that they not date themselves and call real LGB ~GeNitaL feTiShIsTs~

I want them to just stay the fuck away from the rest.

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[–]LiterallyawomanTERF IRL 20 insightful - 3 fun20 insightful - 2 fun21 insightful - 3 fun -  (9 children)

A gay man I know irl has started referring to himself as a magical girl and making some really unhealthy comparisons between himself and women, obsessed with claiming he could get any man his female friends could and that together they will as KWEENS sleep with all the STRAIGHT men in their neighborhood once the pandemic is over.

He’s insufferable to talk to and can’t go 5 minutes without bragging about himself and how he’s such a “nerd” or “weird” for liking normal shit like comics, anime, or Harry Potter-like bruh you’re 30-this shit is embarrassing.

He made a shitty comment to me for being in a long term monogamous relationship too yet can’t seem to hold a man down and complains of it endlessly(not directly to me I keep him at an arms length socially) so I feel it’s only a matter of time that he “realizes” he’s a transwoman to deal with his shitty love life and borderline creepy envy and obsession with women, especially comparing himself to female anime characters.

[–]MezozoicGayoldschool gay 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

My ex under homophobic pressure became transwoman too and is dating man or transwomen now. And he is all the time saying how he is better woman than woman - "I am same as woman, same bonuses in sexy body, with smarter brain and better socialization, but unlike woman I have no minuses, like menstruation or pregnancy, or mood swaps". And other things like that. He helped me peaking.

[–]ChunkeeguyTeam T*RF Fuck Yeah 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

Transnarcissism - a whole new member of the Cluster B family.

[–]MezozoicGayoldschool gay 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

THe thing is that he was pretty normal gay men, much less feminine than me. And main reason why he went to transition were homophobia (he moved into Russia to his relatives) and not acceptance in public and family. And then after some time of being transwoman he became this.

[–]RedditHatesLesbiansHomosexual Not Queer 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Some sort of coping mechanism maybe?

[–]LiterallyawomanTERF IRL 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

He sounds so toxic and misogynistic jesus how awful. I’m glad you got away from him!

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Oh no, being this insecure, this sexually frustrated, and this narcissistic is a terrible combo! People like him need to be dropped into a deserted island somewhere with like a bag of rice and some survival gear so they can spend some solo-time with themselves and hit the reset button where their priorities are concerned. Just concentrate on surviving for a month rather than about creating a cool sexy persona about yourself that not even you believe.

[–]LiterallyawomanTERF IRL 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Before the pandemic I only saw him in groups and we didn’t interact much because I never let him talk over me or down to me-he actually became really quiet around me! But after the pandemic I plan to stress to our mutual friend that I will not go to any function he is at because she knows how much he annoys me. She’s another woman who has just started peaking but she’s still a doormat in many ways to her old group of (imho) shitty, failed-to-launch friends. She even acknowledged how uncomfortable he made her but she puts up with it because she came from a bad homelife and thinks everyone deserves a chance. Like no thanks he’s a big red flag and you’re going to learn the hard way when he crosses some serious boundaries.

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You should show her "Don't rock the boat." It's about some guy's mother in law, but in my opinion it applies to drama queens in friend groups too!

https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/77pxpo/dont_rock_the_boat/

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 16 insightful - 2 fun16 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 2 fun -  (23 children)

Lesbians and gay men are like two opposite universes. Who would have thought that one day some of us would pretend to be the other :D

[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 13 insightful - 6 fun13 insightful - 5 fun14 insightful - 6 fun -  (22 children)

Two different experiences so why do people lump the two together and claim that it's the same?

That I never understood. It's so obviously different but homosexual men and women are supposed to understand each other perfectly because "uwu LGB(T) solidarity". It doesn't make any sense.

People are gonna get mad over this, but honestly, this trans crap wouldn't be a problem if people didn't pretend there was a "gay community" to begin with. If all separate issues were treated separately... the problem never would have taken off.

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (15 children)

Actually you are right. There is no really an LGB community. To be fair, I don't even like most of lesbian community, let alone gay community lol

The umbrella term came when homosexuality was a big taboo, so people who were homosexuals come together to fight for liberation.

[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (14 children)

Eh I still think even then it did more harm than good. They never made anything "accepted" they just lumped homosexuals and trans together and said "look, it's freaks for you to gawk at and use as entertainment"

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 7 insightful - 4 fun7 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 4 fun -  (4 children)

Well, we went from homosexuality being something you were forced to hide, to it being represented on media, widely accepted and recognized by law. I would say it's pretty progress.

[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

Define "forced to hide." Because I am still under pressure to hide it, even more so than the past. I wouldn't say "forced" because no one is holding me at gunpoint, but it's basically "Stay secret, or become a walking joke, lose all your dignity and have people harass and make fun of you for the rest of your life."

I also do not believe that "media representation" or "recognition by law" is progress. I think that is regressive. I think the gay stereotypes and "representation" on TV are doing harm and this is the exact kind of thing that makes people like me stay secret, I'm not hiding because of "homophobic Christians" I am hiding because I don't want people to think I am like Funny Inappropriate Famous Gay Man and that I have to "perform" for people, and that my sexuality (which has caused me a lot of pain) is a hilarious joke about buttfucking and being "FABULOUS."

As for the law I think LGBT+ "protections" are harmful. if discrimination is a problem why is there not a catch-all discrimination law that covers everyone? People just abuse and exploit these laws for their own benefit and to elevate their privileged self, like how Jonathan Yaniv tried to sue for "transphobia" and the Canadian law actually entertained that ridiculous idea.

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Sorry, but aren't you from Russia?

[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Yes.

No there are no "gay killings," this is an urban myth from a shady organization with zero hard evidence.

No I do not currently live there.

No my sexuality would not be a concern should I move back there, I'm far more concerned about other issues.

No I don't hate homosexuals and think they are abominations against God simply because I'm Russian.

No I did not "internalize homophobic beliefs from being born in Russia", considering I didn't learn what being gay even was until several years after I left the country.

I hope that covers everything regarding my nationality being relevant.

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I know there are no gay killings, except in the muslim part. Russia got a problem with fanatical muslims and christians.

The population is super homophobic and homosexuality if often linked to pedophilia. There is an-anti propaganda law , which means inability to openly talk about it in the media like we do in the west.

In the west we can be open about it, both in the media and day to day life. Actually, gay being represented in shows and such was a big part of it being accepted and people getting used to see it as something similar to heterosexuality. Ergo why in Russia they don't want to talk about it. I know, they hate USA, and since USA accept homosexuality, they must to do the opposite. But, moral of story,even if keeping it to yourself is better even in the west, the fact that here we can openly talk about our relations like everyone else without bad consequences is better than most of the world where hiding is the only option because society hates this part of you.

[–]RedditHatesLesbiansHomosexual Not Queer 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

Honestly was gay marriage even a real victory? As far as I know you don't get any more benefits than you would in, say, a civil partnership, and getting it made us equal on paper so people felt free to discriminate against us as much as they'd like after that. It didn't change attitudes, homophobes stayed homophobic, only it gave the whole LGBT activists nothing to do so they went into TQ to keep funding. I once heard a quote that it should be any activists goal to go jobless but I think that's rarely ever actually the case.

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 5 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

No, gay marriage was just for callign something marriage, civil unions were good enough. They legalized gay marriage and the former gay community stopped giving a fuck about gays. It would have be better to stop at civil union.

[–]Feather 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

In the United States, civil unions were never anywhere close to as good or comprehensive as federally recognized marriages. Federally recognized marriages come with significantly more protections and benefits.

[–]Feather 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

In the U.S., federally recognized marriages come with significantly more rights and benefits, so yes, it was a huge victory with potentially life-altering results for many people.

[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Marriage is a regressive, outdated and sexist concept, so I say no. It's not progress. You want me to be thankful and consider my life to be peaceful now that I have the "right" to spend an absurd amount of money on a capitalistic tradition that typically denotes the female (or in a gay relationship, the "female analog" aka the "bottom" or the guy who is least masculine) as property that's being given away to an owner? Er, no thanks. I never wanted that, I never asked for that, and even if I was straight I probably wouldn't get married anyway.

It didn't change the fact that a lot of people (not just straight people. Mostly LGBT actually) will see me in an inferior, negative way due to my sexuality, because people have associated homosexuality with humiliating practices and throwing away your dignity for entertainment. Being given the "right" to marry doesn't change the fact that I still have to watch what I say carefully if the topic of dating comes up in real life, and lie and say I'm straight if I have to, because if I don't people will never see me the same way again.

Nor does marriage give me a chance to be happy with a sexuality I have always struggled with, always hated, never asked for, and would absolutely change given the chance. If you ask me, what would REALLY help would be research going into finding a cause for homosexuality, or even a potential way out for those of us who choose it. The woke crowd would never allow that, though. Even having doubts is "homophobic." Why, me being single and refusing to go out and hookup with random guys and get a boyfriend right now is homophobic, apparently.

But I digress.

"BUT IT'S ABOUT EQUAL RIGHTS" - Then why do people make a big deal out of it? And how come nobody's fussed about the other nine million things gay and straight people have always been able to do equally?

[–]RedditHatesLesbiansHomosexual Not Queer 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I just typed out 4 super long paragraphs about homosexuality and spent a long time trying to make myself sound clear and sophisticated, but then accidentally deleted it.

Such is sand art made by Buddhist monks :(

The crux of what I was trying to say is that while society sucks and I can completely relate to a lot of what you're saying here, hating any immutable characteristic ultimately eats you alive. Our sexualities are neutral, not something to be proud of like the queer gang but also not something to be ashamed of, because it's such a tiny aspect of who we are and natural state of being that we can't control and didn't choose. Even if homosexuality is a disability and is defective, no one calls someone born blind wrong, or assigns shame to their condition. We are as we are. It's society that teaches us self hatred, and that self hatred is insidious. It's in many aspects of our lives because it's profitable. It's profitable for us to hate our bodies, for us to feel empty inside, because it feeds the endless loop of consumerism and buying junk to be happy. I think the ultimate "fuck you" to society is accepting yourself regardless, because everything around us is telling us we shouldn't. That we are defective, imperfect, broken people.

If there was a cure for homosexuality, I wouldn't take it. I love being attracted to women, I just hate all that it entails. I hate how it seems that every straight person is homophobic when you get down to it, because under the surface they do all think that we're perverted and wrong. Or at least where I live. I hate how if someone knows you're gay, you become that lesbian or that gay man in their heads and nothing more. A pinhead for a demographic. It's made me a bit of a pariah because I can't relate to most straight women. Our culture is sex obsessed and it comes up everywhere, and it puts a rift between us. I think it all comes down to them not being able to understand us and also finding it a bit gross. I was going to say something else encouraging here in my initial wall of text but I forget now. LOL.

I guess ultimately what I'm trying to say is that I hope you don't always struggle with your sexuality because it's such a tiny aspect of who you are. You're a whole person. Your sexuality isn't good or bad, it's just a footnote in your Wikipedia article that society assigns connotations to that weren't ever there to begin with.

[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

I respectfully disagree that it's "immutable." Especially in my case, I don't believe that to be true. Part of it may be wishful thinking, but I was not "born gay" and I don't think anyone is, and honestly I believe very few things are impossible so there probably is a way out. If people were willing to research it and try. But of course that stuff is not even allowed to be theorized anymore because it's not politically correct.

Also, a little weird comparing it to a disability - because plenty of people with physical and mental conditions DO wish they didn't have them and often seek a way out. I have mental health issues, and THOSE have been with me longer than my sexuality. Adults used to tell me as a kid that I was just born sick, and I believe that more than being "born gay." But I'm trying to get rid of those, or at least lessen them. And I have ways of doing that, with therapy (potentially, even if my experience sucked and wasn't helpful) or possibly other methods, because it's not controversial to want to get rid of that.

No it doesn't mean I'm "wrong" for having a mental illness, but that doesn't mean that trying to remove or lessen it is better for me.

I hate how it seems that every straight person is homophobic when you get down to it, because under the surface they do all think that we're perverted and wrong.

Apologies if this comes off as rude, but how exactly do you get that impression? I honestly feel like it's the opposite for me. In my experience, straight people don't care either way. It's not an issue for them, and they don't understand, so why would they? At worst they might think I'm weird, or might show some half-assed "support" because they think I'm a precious sick puppy that needs protection, but it's typically lazy and not a big deal. LGB(T) people, however, have been consistently nasty to me when I've opened up to them. It's gay and bi men who think I'm a sex obsessed degenerate, and one that needs to specifically be THEIR degenerate and serve men, or else I'm a bitch and a prude and a freak. It's L/B women who think I'm immoral for existing because I'm not gay in the "fun" way and I don't believe in a "community", so I don't "support" them (whatever that means) therefore I'm a woman hater or something. It's trans people who tell me that my orientation is wrong and that I need to change it to be "inclusive." It's gay/bi men, too, who tell me that my orientation is wrong because how the hell can I be gay if I don't like the idea of being violently sodomized by a big manly man who wants to be called "daddy?" How can I be gay if I don't like a certain style of music? How can I be gay if I have a disorder and don't look like a man, and therefore am somehow less of a "man" than a FTM is and don't get to be in the Gay Club?

Straight people haven't been that bad to me. Gay men, bi people, and lesbians, though? Those are usually the people who have mocked me to serious depression and self esteem issues, and think it's appropriate to make insensitive jokes about my sex life and call me names.

[–]RedditHatesLesbiansHomosexual Not Queer 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I think you've misunderstood me. Maybe in the grand scheme of things, there will be a cure. Maybe it's very possible and will be around soon, even. But at this moment in time it is immutable, it is something you can't change with any methods currently available. So self acceptance, even if it's only until a cure comes along, is the only thing that makes sense. What's the point of hating it bitterly when there's nothing you can do to change it? I suppose you could go into the field of human sexuality and psychology and try to change it yourself if you wanted to, but apart from that, the only thing you can control are your actions - you can't not have that attraction to begun with at this moment in time. I try to make it a point in my life to not be bitter about circumstances I have no control over, and never have had any control over. Hatred simply takes up too much mental space in my opinion.

Honestly you seem more than a little bitter and every interaction I've seen you have comes off that way to some degree. My purpose wasn't to try and argue with you and you're entitled to your own view of homosexuality, however negative. I'm sorry you've had bad experiences. I've also struggled with mental health a lot, specifically an eating disorder and depression. I've been hospitalised for it. So I understand where you're coming from, it's just that I don't personally consider my sexuality to be an ailment or a negative. Nor a positive. The way the world reacts sucks sometimes, but I've never considered my sexuality itself to be the problem. I hope you find peace and a cure if there ever is one though. The only issue with that would be if it's ever forcibly given, but people should absolutely have the choice.

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Cure is wrong term for something that isn't a disease. It's like wanting to cure having blue eyes. And seriously I doubt all people are homophobic. They don't understand you, the same way as you don't understand them and this put a wall between you and most of the world, especially because, as you said, there is too much sex obsession in our culture, I wish it was more discrete like in the past, but that isn't the same as saying that everybody think you're a perv. And to be fair, I fail to relate to good part of lesbian community too. Moral of the story, being a lesbian is cool, actually, because staying with women is great and I seriously pity straight women sometimes. Being a little minority can suck, you feel ignored and not understood, but you just have to find a few people you can relate, you don't need most of the world.

[–]Dravidian 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

You're right. Men will never understand the unique problems that women face. How can gay men, who aren't even interested in women for dating, be better at understanding women than straight men? In my experience they don't give a fuck and don't fight for us.

[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

And the same in reverse. Women don't give a shit about gay male problems and don't "fight" for us (whatever that means.) Hell I've even been called a "misogynist" and "lesbophobe" for having gay problems, I have no idea why. Most of the time gay men don't stand up for eachother anyway so why should entirely different groups step in too?

[–]Dravidian 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's a damn shame honestly.

[–]Locke 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It's odd to me how pretty much any trait or interest is supposedly a "community" nowadays. I don't think it used to be like that. It throws me off to see people saying "the [literally any hobby, interest, or identity trait] community." I look at all kinds of stuff online because I'm interested in a lot of things.

I have some niche interests and the amount of gossip within these "communities" is ridiculous. I just want to look into hobbies I'm into and constantly see gossip shit like, "Did you hear what so and so of the 'community' did?" and 9 times out of 10 I've never even fucking heard of that person and have no idea what everyone is up in arms about. Along with shit like, "We're a family!" No you're fucking not, and I grew up with enough emotional abuse from actual family, I'm not going to feel safe in a place I just want to talk about a hobby and people are more interested in gossip and punishing the non majority viewpoints! I try to get out more and meet people but I've tried and left so many groups over this shit.

I don't want to "join a community" over every separate interest and every separate aspect of my personality. Why does it seem like that's what's expected anymore? I don't have the time, energy, or patience for that. When did this shift start? It probably has to do with the decline of in person community for people to feel a part of, and we're social creatures, so I get it. But it's exhausting and I hate it.

[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It really fucking bothers me when people refer to "The [disability or medical condition] community." Like... what? Now I'm not physically disabled myself, but I do have mental health issues, and I don't want that to be my defining trait! I think most people with illnesses and disabilities just want to feel normal, more or less, and enjoy things that the rest of the world does.

The "We're your new family now" thing that the LGB(T) does is honestly cult-like, I can't stand it. I never really had a family, only a mother who I lost at a young age, but even I'm not going to trust a bunch of strangers online to be my new "family" just because they supposedly, kind of, share a sexuality with me. Sometimes. But also not because G is only one of those letters. And I don't even relate to most other gay men anyway, let alone the other letters. So how we're supposed to be a "family" I can't comprehend.

The only family-like behavior I see from them is them judging me and telling me that I'm not good enough, telling me what to do and how I should think, feel, and behave. But that's not a healthy family, by any means.

[–]Three_oneFourWanted for thought crimes in countless ideologies 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I mean, back when we were actively persecuted, I assume that gays and lesbians would stick together since they could relate to eachther's persecution based on sexuality, but now there isn't a whole lot left that we have in common besides internal persecution based on sexuality by the uwu police.

it's funny how any two groups' differences will melt away when a common enemy is found. All we need is a genocidal alien invasion to achieve world peace.

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 6 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

I'm really waiting for the scenario to occur where two transmen (two vagina-havers) dating each other, and a gay man says "Not fair! Waah! They're discriminating against me for not having a vagina! I want to date a transman too! This is reverse-twansphobic uwuhuhuuu!"

[–]ArthnoldManacatsaman🇬🇧🌳🟦 3 insightful - 4 fun3 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 4 fun -  (3 children)

I'm so confused. Who has the vagina?

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 7 insightful - 8 fun7 insightful - 7 fun8 insightful - 8 fun -  (1 child)

Not sure... Who had it last ?

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's confusing but the first couple "transgay" couple would be the vagina couple.