all 80 comments

[–]purrvana 59 insightful - 20 fun59 insightful - 19 fun60 insightful - 20 fun -  (18 children)

"I've literally only ever had sex with people with dicks " - says the person with a lesbian tag next to their name.

It's seriously a parody at this point.

[–]HollywoodLESBIAN 36 insightful - 5 fun36 insightful - 4 fun37 insightful - 5 fun -  (5 children)

"Lesbian sex with people with dicks is GAY AS FUCK and not remotely the same as trying-to-be-straight sex with cis men" wooooooooooow. Heterosexual sex is... heterosexual, no matter how much you want to deny it. The subreddit should be called actualmen

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 17 insightful - 4 fun17 insightful - 3 fun18 insightful - 4 fun -  (4 children)

That one is a blue-haired straight woman.

[–]BigMommyMilkersYes, they're real 15 insightful - 16 fun15 insightful - 15 fun16 insightful - 16 fun -  (3 children)

Of course she has blue hair, bet she’s fat too.

[–]denverkrisMy pronouns are Vodka?/Yes!/please 7 insightful - 7 fun7 insightful - 6 fun8 insightful - 7 fun -  (0 children)

fucking lmao

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 5 insightful - 5 fun5 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Your words, not mine.

But yes.

[–]Cicerosolo 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

No doubt

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 28 insightful - 7 fun28 insightful - 6 fun29 insightful - 7 fun -  (9 children)

JFC. I have officially re-peaked. If you check her post history her last comment right before this was salivating over lesbian rape erotica. She is a heterosexual woman fetishizing lesbians and colonizing our spaces and speaking on our behalf.

She also links her Etsy store in her profile where you can see that she sells fetish gear marketed toward (LGB)TQ people. And she’s exactly as you would imagine. Blue hair and all.

Her store description says:

**If you include your pronouns with your order I'll pack a free mini enamel pronoun pin in the package :) She/her/hers, he/him/his, and they/them/theirs all available!

This parody writes itself. And this lesbiantrender is hanging around r/LBL giving out advice there and reminding me why I couldn’t stand to be there.

[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

Oh god I hate how lbl is so messed up. I've been hanging around in there and telling people that they're bisexual and that the masterdoc is a load of bull. I think they need to hear it from someone, but hey, they're adults and can do what they want.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

Are you a fellow LBL?

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

Yeah, I always knew I was attracted to women, but I thought I was bisexual for a long time. I think I'm just a late bloomer in life too.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Same. I feel you. What was it that peaked you in r/LBL?

[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

All the women in unhappy / unhealthy relationships running for the hills seemed odd. Also there's just a few too many people on the sub— lesbians who realise they're lesbians later in life would have to be a minority of a minority. Or reading about the women who would enjoy sex with their husband and we SO in love with him, but they're thinking ALL the time about women and having a girlfriend, and how they can now put most of their attraction down to comphet! And then people would tell them that they sound like a lesbian because 'straight women don't think about other women when they're unhappy with their husbands'. Also all the people who opened up their relationships because they needed to explore. I think most people in poly relationships are morons who just need to move on.

The big revelation was women posting on there about how they clicked with the contrapoints video on comphet. I watched the video and I have no idea what the fuck contrapoints is banging on about, I couldn't relate to it less. That made it clear there were people on that sub who were full of shit.

I don't really care what these people do, they're adults so they can make stupid decisions if they want to. But I'm still going to think they're bisexual and need to move on from a relationship they clearly don't want anymore— not a lesbian. Also, comphet isn't the best concept and I think people should stop pushing it like it's the gospel.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I had a similar experience but also noticed there was a lot of “Tik Tok Made Me Gay.” I think if you are a lesbian would have noticed at least to some degree you were attracted to women before your 30s. The women who just suddenly noticed that girls are pretty at 35 after having multiple unsuccessful relationships with men and then jump into adopting lesbian stereotypes and a “lesbian lifestyle” are very disconcerting. Have you listened to the Lesbian Chronicles podcast?

Btw, I can’t find the ContraPoints video and I’m curious. Do you know what it’s called or can you link it?

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's called shame, have fun :) It's pretty much classic AGP. But also, if you were biologically male up until adulthood, how do you experience compulsory heterosexuality and believe that you are attracted to men due to internalised homophobia? These things should be telling you that you should be attracted to women...

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh Jesus. I am hopeful that there are not many comments on that thread because a lot of women were like "uh what the what." The comment from a self-styled late bloomer "trans lesbian" and their profile should peak any sincere lesbian in there. Also, of course playing the victim about how there's not enough active coddling of trans lesbians in there. That person also has posted a decade of his life with copious pics of himself all over reddit so he would make an interesting case study for anyone who is interested in analyzing wtf is happening to society.

And of course his "egg cracking" story is SO relatable! SO female! SO lesbian! Cracked by a male character in a generic super hero movie:

For the past 20 years after puberty, I've been lying to myself. I kept telling myself that I'll accept that my boybody is what I am. That these dysphoric feelings will go away if I learn to live with it. [Doesn't almost every person feel this way about their body?] "Those dreams where I'm a woman is just an over-active imagination", "You're looking at women because you find them beautiful and not thinking about how you wish you could be them". [How in any way is this compulsory heterosexuality if he actively was and still is attracted to women and did and does still find them beautiful? Nowhere do I see any pressure to be attracted to men. What could he possibly relate to in the Master Doc]

I was in denial. [Was?]

But the straw that broke the back was a nerdy dream. After I saw Avengers: Infinity War, I dreamt that Thanos didn't kill half the universe. I dreamt that he changed half the universe's sex. I went to work, and my co-workers were laughing at me. "You missed it! Thanos changed all of us. You're never gonna change! You'll die a man". I started crying in the dream so hard, that I woke myself up.

When I woke up I had tears on my pillow and was emotionally drained. I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I hate seeing an ugly big nose. And the brow. And the facial hair. I thought back to when I was a child, at all those little signals of not being in the right body. [Who feels like they were born in the right body and isn't painfully aware of the ways we don't match up with societal expectations? And how does identifying as a women change those things? Wouldn't being a woman with those things make him feel even worse?] When I was 3, pointing that I wanted to buy the pink and black girl's dress, and crying because I wasn't allowed. When I would wear my grandmother's coat at 5 years old and take a nap in it. [And I was ripping bows out of my hair and wanted to wear big sweatshirts with no pants and be two Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles at the same time. A decade and a half later, I grew up to be a feminine lesbian who went through a phase of being really into big bows on things. To this day, I've never had any particular affinity or aversion to pink. And does he think Lea Delaria, Ellen DeGeneres, and Rosie O'Donnell were begging their moms to put them in pink dresses? Why are we supposed to ascribe meaning to any of this normal childhood behavior? Like Grandma's coat sounds cozy and practical and like there wasn't a warm blanket available. Also, I sincerely doubt he has memories and recalls his feelings in that moment from over 30 years prior when he was only 3 years old.] When I would spend hours picking and pulling the hairs growing on my knee because I thought of them as little worms. [Oh yea, sounds like a typical lesbian concern. Lesbian aversion to body hair is legendary.]

So I went looking for local endocrinologists and found out that this little town finally has someone that treats transgender patients. [We're fucked. Or maybe this is better because people will be peaked all over the place?] I read the news article about him two weeks ago. I've been in a funk since, that last little shred of self-doubt and denial holding onto this identity.

Today, I e-mailed the clinic and told them I want to set up an appointment with the endocrinologist and start HRT on July 2nd. It just so happened that today was the start of Pride Month; I didn't plan on e-mailing them at the start of Pride Month, but now I think of it as a good sign. [Someone is lonely and wants a social group.]

First, I am angry at the doctor and nurse who looked at this guy and encouraged and enabled him to transition. Nothing about this indicates that this guy is or should be a woman. I just don't understand why this guy can't admit that he was unhappy with his appearance and society's expectations for himself, that he wanted to change his appearance to look more female, and wanted to belong to a social group. None of this makes him a woman or a lesbian specifically. What lesbian would relate to any of this as a lesbian-specific or woman-specific concern? And of course, since transitioning, he has changed his style to be peak stereotypical lesbian, calls himself a tomboy, brags about being stealth, and spends his time invading subreddits for women and pretending to speak as one. Like take a hint that places like r/tallwomen are not for you. I hate this world.

[–]MadLass[S] 29 insightful - 2 fun29 insightful - 1 fun30 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

That comment was literally my tipping point to posting this here. Its all just too much to believe sometimes.

[–]fuckupaddamsBisexual Terve 7 insightful - 6 fun7 insightful - 5 fun8 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

"Guess what? Lesbian sex with people with dicks is GAY AS FUCK" same user

[–]BigMommyMilkersYes, they're real 38 insightful - 24 fun38 insightful - 23 fun39 insightful - 24 fun -  (1 child)

At this point I think the gay male subs talk about dick less than ActualLesbians

[–]fuckupaddamsBisexual Terve 19 insightful - 3 fun19 insightful - 2 fun20 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

They sure as shit do not glorify pussy the way AL glorifies dick.

[–]Lesbianese 42 insightful - 2 fun42 insightful - 1 fun43 insightful - 2 fun -  (6 children)

I've literally only ever had sex with people with dicks and I APPRECIATE THIS POST SO HARD because it's really invalidating to see my sexual experience treated as gross or a joke. Guess what? Lesbian sex with people with dicks is GAY AS FUCK and not remotely the same as trying-to-be-straight sex with cis men (a fact I wish I knew slightly less intimately :/).

I can't believe this is where we're at, years ago this would've been a troll post. Shame on this heterosexual woman, I hope she feels guilty in the future for spouting this total nonsense.

[–]GoValidateYourselfuseful lesbian 40 insightful - 4 fun40 insightful - 3 fun41 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Nah these people have no shame. In a couple years when this trend fades and is replaced by something else she'll wash out her blue hair dye, marry a man, and move to the suburbs. She'll laugh about how she "used to be a lesbian" but her hubby turned her.

[–]BigMommyMilkersYes, they're real 28 insightful - 9 fun28 insightful - 8 fun29 insightful - 9 fun -  (1 child)

Nothing more homosexual than PiV sex capable of reproduction

[–]fuckupaddamsBisexual Terve 10 insightful - 10 fun10 insightful - 9 fun11 insightful - 10 fun -  (0 children)

It's gay as fuck, didn't you read?

[–]ChodeSandwichtender and moist 15 insightful - 7 fun15 insightful - 6 fun16 insightful - 7 fun -  (0 children)

In six months, that post will be one of many cringe memories that pops into her head when she's trying to sleep.

[–]LasagnaRossa 15 insightful - 5 fun15 insightful - 4 fun16 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

So the key to erase gayness and become straight was pretending that our partner is male, got it 👍🏻

[–]denverkrisMy pronouns are Vodka?/Yes!/please 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

She won't though. She's convinced herself she "belongs".

[–]divingrightintowork 33 insightful - 14 fun33 insightful - 13 fun34 insightful - 14 fun -  (1 child)

There's at least one good comment that got removed..

"Stay off the internet sweetie it is for adults. Maybe you need therapy so you don't start "triggering" others by not letting them explain their own feelings. You don't have to read it silly goose!

See, maybe nobody told you, you aren't the only person in the world and nobody cares about your dick. Keep it in your pants and stop talking about it, that's basically what you just told that person.

We have the right to HATE dick. You do don't ya? You hate your little dick so much but we can't?

You even get to wave it around and call it anything but what it is, the sexual organ of a human male. Get over it or get off a lesbian sub for fucks sake.

Homophobe much? Lesbians like pussy you moron. They don't want your broken dick."

[–]denverkrisMy pronouns are Vodka?/Yes!/please 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This is clearly the most accurate thing in this entirely abysmal thread.

[–]julesburm1891 37 insightful - 1 fun37 insightful - 0 fun38 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

It just bothers me when people with no PTDS [sic] are rude about it

So, now women have to have PTSD to say no to sex with men? Do these guys even hear how rapey they sound?

[–][deleted] 31 insightful - 4 fun31 insightful - 3 fun32 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

They go on about how they aren't obligated to share their "full medical history," so why should I have to share rather or not I have PTSD in order to say no?

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 21 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 0 fun22 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

BOOM! Add this one to the vault.

I was just commenting that they would be harassing women until they reveal they have PTSD at which point maybe some of them will see that as a good enough excuse but I failed to connect this to one of their main talking points, as you have. The projection and hypocrisy are extraordinary, and that entire thread is a monument to that.

[–]ChodeSandwichtender and moist 28 insightful - 4 fun28 insightful - 3 fun29 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Like I said in the Assigned Male thread: they're clearly stuck on desperate teenage boy logic where it isn't akshully technickuly rape because they aren't using force or getting someone too drunk to stand up. They don't give two fucks about enthusiastic consent or being "sex positive," it's just lip service, like a scuzzy "male feminist" trying to tell his girlfriend that she's sexually repressed and obeying the patriarchy by keeping her asshole shut.

[–]hellonumpty 23 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 0 fun24 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Also like how much do you wanna bet that women without trauma who are rude about it are rude because they are constantly being harassed about it. Every time they say 'no' the response is always, "but what if...." etc. I think anyone who is being worn down has the right to be rude.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 22 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I have PTSD for reasons that have nothing to do with men or penises, but why should I or anyone else be forced to identify ourselves as having PTSD just to have sexual boundaries. It’s disgusting. The idea that they will harass women/lesbians until, at best, they reveal they have PTSD is disgusting. And even some are saying that PTSD is still not a good enough excuse. Pigs.

[–]denverkrisMy pronouns are Vodka?/Yes!/please 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Well of course not, because clearly they believe that women were put on this earth to give a fuck about men's feelings.

[–]GoValidateYourselfuseful lesbian 32 insightful - 2 fun32 insightful - 1 fun33 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

i get that there's a twist with cis lesbians since women have been pressured into serving cis male dicks their whole lives and so it makes sense for them to develop an aversion to dick, but everyone has a responsibility to sort through trauma responses that are informed by bigoted ideas.

these people don't understand anything about gay people. I was never raped or molested, and I'm not "leaning in" to any bigoted ideas about trans or men. I never "developed an aversion to dick" I'm just not fucking interested in it! B/c I'm fucking gay! These TRAs tie themselves into knots and come up with increasingly convoluted explanations to avoid the obvious.

I'd be interested in a survey like that. I keep worrying that I won't be able to date because of it, and some reassurance would be nice

That survey is going to be biased as shit, man. All the actual lesbians on AL have been banned, bullied, or brainwashed that they should lie b/c it's kind. It's not fucking kind, it gives Jeffrey above false hope and false expectations. And men like that tend to be fucking violent to women when the illusion is broken (ie she rejects him IRL).

Threads like that really make me think, if these men got the truth when they first came to AL and not "kind lies" most of them wouldn't even transition. They'd weigh the reality of their options, and just stay straight men. The one's who'd choose to be celibate and alone probably wouldn't pose any threat to lesbians anyway.

[–]Rosefield 20 insightful - 7 fun20 insightful - 6 fun21 insightful - 7 fun -  (2 children)

I'd be interested in a survey like that. I keep worrying that I won't be able to date because of it, and some reassurance would be nice

  1. LMAO a survey on a sub that's full of men and bihet women doesn't reflect the real world. He is extremly deluded.
  2. LMAO dumb bloke worries about lesbians not wanting to date him
  3. LMAO dumb bloke doesn't want a honest survey, he just wants validation
  4. LMAO dumb bloke is obviously transphobic because he worries that lesbians won't jump on his cock but no words about his fellow trans "women". Pussy for me but not for thee
  5. LMAO dumb bloke is going to run back to the Actualcocksbians echochamber crying that he was rejected by lesbians over and over again and they will tell him again that lesbians looooove dicks and he will continue to believe this shit because transbians are braindead, homophobic, insane fetishists.

[–]GoValidateYourselfuseful lesbian 11 insightful - 8 fun11 insightful - 7 fun12 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

Pussy for me but not for thee

This made me spit my tea LMAO. As Marie Antoinette would say, "let them eat cock"

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 7 insightful - 6 fun7 insightful - 5 fun8 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

I wish I could use the word bloke. Sadly not British.

[–]DimDroog 19 insightful - 11 fun19 insightful - 10 fun20 insightful - 11 fun -  (1 child)

I like dicks, just not on men.

This is the stupidest time to be alive.

[–][deleted] 11 insightful - 3 fun11 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

it really fucking is 😂

[–]reluctant_commenter 21 insightful - 2 fun21 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

Does anyone else feel disheartened reading this? Like there are so many transwomen on that thread, lol. Sometimes it feels like there are literally no lesbians, it's just AGP men in dress-up or admitted straight men who claim the label and use it. I know so few other lesbians in real life, whereas it feels like trans people are everywhere. IRL, I've certainly met more trans people than I have lesbians, that's for sure.

Sorry, just venting, it's just frustrating. I get that the "divide and conquer" approach the trans community has taken to dividing up LGB subs is supposed to make you feel that way.

[–]Rosefield 15 insightful - 3 fun15 insightful - 2 fun16 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

There are so many men there because r/Al IS a men's sub. Most lesbians left so of course all you see is men and bihet women.

[–]TheBeefBenson 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

When I was made aware of the whole trans debacle I decided to have a browse of the lesbian subs to see what was going on and who were the types of people posting. What I noticed was that very few of the women posting on Lesbian Actually (the lesbian selfie sub) were posting on Actual Lesbians anymore or on LGBT subs either. So from my casual observations it seems like there are actually very few women left on al.

[–][deleted] 20 insightful - 3 fun20 insightful - 2 fun21 insightful - 3 fun -  (4 children)

Dumpster fire. I saw one poster in there saying they would date a post-op transwoman but couldn't do dick, and all of the replies are screaming about how not all transwomen want to use their dicks. I hate this "argument" so much as it implies all women are always sexually passive. The idea that someone is actively attracted to the female body and might want to interact with a real vagina is totally alien to them!

[–]GoValidateYourselfuseful lesbian 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah! Like I don't give a fuck if some TW doesn't want to use his penis. I don't want to look at a penis, touch it, or have anything to do w/ it, b/c it's an actual turnoff. It's irrelevant what they want to do with it. It still isn't a vulva and they still don't have a female body. I like entire females and love making love to them.

[–]Freetochoose 10 insightful - 3 fun10 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

I think I know what poster you are talking about. But what was funny was the poster who said they would date a post op transwoman, also said that they themselves were trans!

[–][deleted] 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I didn't read that far but omg that makes it even funnier for some reason.

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Dumpster fire. I saw one poster in there saying they would date a post-op transwoman but couldn't do dick, and all of the replies are screaming about how not all transwomen want to use their dicks.

Oh, I want 'em to use it, all right... to GO FUCK THEMSELVES

[–]LasagnaRossa 17 insightful - 5 fun17 insightful - 4 fun18 insightful - 5 fun -  (1 child)

Lmao the dude who asks why people obsess over genitalia and not personality when dating.

I'm pretty sure these people never had sex in their lives, nor romantic relationships.

[–]Rosefield 16 insightful - 7 fun16 insightful - 6 fun17 insightful - 7 fun -  (0 children)

Says the guy obsessed with pretending to be a woman

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 17 insightful - 5 fun17 insightful - 4 fun18 insightful - 5 fun -  (1 child)

It has a lot of competition, but I submit the following as a dark horse candidate for most ironic comment in that thread:

some people don’t seem to understand that genital preference =/= expressing your disgust and disdain for said genitals all the time. ty for your post.

Recall that “genital preference” is just what they call sexual orientation. Yes, expressing the facts of your sexual orientation is not equivalent to expressing disdain for those outside your sexual orientation. No one has a moral right to fall within your sexual orientation.

[–]Rosefield 17 insightful - 4 fun17 insightful - 3 fun18 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Dudes mad that lesbians don't want their dicks

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 16 insightful - 2 fun16 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

This is the kind of shit I send my friends to read for themselves to demonstrate how homophobic, misogynistic, and rapey the genderist movement is and how LGBT spaces and organizations have been completely hijacked and misappropriated by heterosexual creeps.

I encourage you all to do the same. People need to see this for themselves.

[–]fuckupaddamsBisexual Terve 11 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

My friends are deep in the kool aid and would kill me.

[–]davids877Straight Male Man 12 insightful - 4 fun12 insightful - 3 fun13 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

I so wanted to post about the guy saying it should be "trans woman" instead of "transwoman" and pointing out that "trans" is not a class of women like "tall" is. But it just would have been deleted.

[–]chupacabrawitchI'm super thanks for asking 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Why do they constantly circlejerk over their own cocks all the time this shit is why I left al and reddit it is so tiresome

[–]lmaonope333 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

"jokes about not liking dick"

reminds me of my conservative parents who thought I was joking when I said that I'm a lesbian

same homophobia, new flavor

[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (9 children)

Imagine using the word "handmaiden" unironically, though

Being sexist yourself is not the way to defeat TRAs. Just saying.

[–]fuckupaddamsBisexual Terve 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

It's accurate though. It's describing a very particular type of woman who nods and smiles and let males bulldoze over everything, including female language and spaces, out of politeness and a sense of catering to them, even to the detriment of women. It's a sexed term but it's accurate.

[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

In the same way that "bitch" and "whore" describe "particular types of women who do bad things?" Yeah, no. You're still using misogynist language lol.

And yes it is sexist because I never see radfems complain about the men who actually do bad things or men who enable other men. You guys insist that men are bad because of the "bad women" aka non radfems. Just like how TRAs call everyone who doesn't agree with them "transphobic." Both ideologies are disasters.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 15 insightful - 2 fun15 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I can't say I agree with any of this. "Handmaiden" reflects a specific betrayal that cannot be applied to men who are not capable of betraying women on such a level since they are not themselves women subjected to common, defining uniquely female experiences during their upbringing. I'm not a radfem, but to say that radfems don't call out men is patently absurd. Men are absolutely being called out, if not the predominant ones being called out. In fact, I think many radfems do not place enough blame on certain women who participate in and encourage the fetishistic aspects of trans ideology. These are generally the women who end up LARPing as lesbian/bisexual. They are often active participants/perpetrators, not victims, and many radfem women are reluctant to believe that any women independently engage in such fetishistic behavior.

[–]3MistersAndAMissy 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Exactly. They give consent and cede ground for all women

[–]fuckupaddamsBisexual Terve 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Not the same to me, no. It's okay if you don't like it though. It's a quick and easy way to identify that very real group of women hurting womens' rights by opening up female spaces to males with pleasure and enthusiasm. I wonder if you have a better term?

I never see radfems complain about the men who actually do bad things or men who enable other men.

I haven't seen the male equivalent of handmaidens. I say this as a hardcore feminist. It's a very specific thing btw, not a catch all term for "bad woman." The men do not let their spaces get taken over, they don't talk over other men to allow female people in their spaces. This problem doesn't exist much on their sides. All those trans threads get essentially shut down in the gay subs, they stick together and don't throw each other under the bus in the name of "progress" and politeness. The same cannot be said about the lesbian/women's subs. I mean compare r/actuallesbians with r/gaybros. They're both male subs, because the women couldn't keep their space (and willingly gave it away) and the men could (and did not willingly give it away.) It's an unfortunate trend that comes with being of the sex that is expected to put (men) before themselves, even at the expense of your sisters.

[–]3MistersAndAMissy 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I haven’t seen this ‘radfem giving men a pass’ issue lol

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I have pondered whether this word was sexist before, but I’d like to hear your take on it. I came out on the side of deciding it’s not as it’s pretty close to a literal use of the word. These are women (well only a few of them) who subordinate female safety and autonomy and uphold male comfort and fantasies as paramount to the point of absurdity. There’s something especially creepy about the way women here are disregarding what should be obvious and instinctual concerns that are right in front of their eyes. Most women that I know that support gender ideology do so out of ignorance because the information is deliberately kept away from them. They’re falling back on their socialization to be kind and open-minded.

[–]GoValidateYourselfuseful lesbian 11 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

IMO it's not sexist. They are handmaid's b/c they treat TW like princesses who need to be catered to constantly, and fawn over everything TW do. Also known as useful idiots. A lot of hardcore TRAs aren't even trans, just insecure handmaiden women.

[–]a_blue_bird 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Pretty ironic when a "lesbian" sub talks about dicks more than gay subs.