DiscussionIs sexuality more "fluid" in women?

submitted by [deleted] from self.LGBDropTheT

Im just curious because I grew up hearing that statement online, even though I don't feel like it makes much sense. Men traditionally are less picky about which women they sleep with, so I would assume they (as a group) would be far more sexually fluid than women.

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[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 27 insightful - 5 fun27 insightful - 4 fun28 insightful - 5 fun -  (1 child)

Look at ancient times. The men are running around, first they are young boys sleeping with older men, and then they become young men and sleep with each other and with women, and then they become older men and chase after young boys meanwhile they also have wives and lady slaves that they have sex with, or they have the four wives or whatever the fuck their culture allows. Meanwhile the women are sitting home with their legs closed waiting for husband dick. It's all about culture and society.

Women of this era grew up with women being extremely sexualized. Even playing cellphone games on my phone, I see it. There are so many advertisements for other cellphone games or apps and it's all hyper-sexualized big breasted, scantily clad women and young girls. There was one ad recently for a 6ix9ine music video with jiggling woman butts everywhere (I'm literally playing a game meant for little kids, how is this happening?) I had to watch that thing (five seconds of it) over 30 times in 2 days to get all my game points. This is all meant for the male gaze, but women are human too, they see it and they internalize it. They want to be one of the boys so they start sexualizing women too. I mean it's much more deeper than that, I'm over-simplifying it but you get what I mean. Would you say women in 1860 were sexually fluid? Would you say women in Saudi Arabia in 2021 are more sexually fluid? It has a lot to do with culture.

[–]reluctant_commenter 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Love this answer. Was gonna take a stab at it but I like yours better. I think it's a highly questionable assumption to just blanket-assume that women (female sex) are all more sexually fluid just because of their sex and not socialization, e.g. through sex stereotypes... and yet I have heard people I know IRL parrot this shit like it's proven scientific fact.

[–]strawberrysun 26 insightful - 2 fun26 insightful - 1 fun27 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I've heard that too, although my own sexuality is about as fluid as a brick. I think it's often more socially acceptable for a woman to admit to having same-sex experiences than it is for a man.

[–]usehername 25 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 0 fun26 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Sexuality isn't "fluid". Some people are simply bi. I think that, at least in the U.S., women are more likely to admit to being bi than men, and there are a few bi female "trenders" skewing the numbers.

[–]ColoredTwice 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Because bi female is seen as "straight with benefits" and bi male is seen as "just homosexual".

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 21 insightful - 3 fun21 insightful - 2 fun22 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

That's simply a myth and also because men want to do threesomes with two women.

[–]reluctant_commenter 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Agreed. Whenever I hear people parrot this viewpoint, there is NEVER serious acknowledgement of the incentives that (straight, generally) men have to make women believe this...

[–]ChodeSandwichtender and moist 16 insightful - 6 fun16 insightful - 5 fun17 insightful - 6 fun -  (3 children)

Usually when people repeat that, they're talking about an old-ass study in which the researchers taped some electrodes to women and men and showed them a bunch of different pornographic videos. Dudebros, incels and rape apologists of all gender identities refer to it frequently; in the study, women tended to "light up" more than men even when the video was incompatible with their sexual orientation, therefore lesbians don't akshilly exist and all women secretly want to fuck animals.

ETA: the scientific, medical term for unwanted and involuntary physical arousal is "arousal non-concordance."

[–]usehername 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Exactly. Women respond this way to sexual situations in order to not die of tearing if they are raped.

[–]ChodeSandwichtender and moist 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

My inner armchair biologist had been theorizing the same.

[–]ColoredTwice 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That study was so wrong, they measured there not clitoris, but vulva. And women there were "aroused" even for animal pictures.

Just shows that testers had no idea about female sexuality and pleasure at all.

[–]OPPRESSED_REPTILIANIntersex male | GNC | Don't call me "a gay", "twink" or "queen" 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think it's more fluid in men. Nature and human history shows this. Many animals falsely reported as "homosexual" are actually just horny males who don't care if what they're sticking their dick into is female or not. And look online with all this "trap" garbage, you'll see just how few men are actually completely straight.

[–]Franklintheturtle 12 insightful - 3 fun12 insightful - 2 fun13 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

the only people I've heard say that are men who want threesomes.

[–]censorshipment 10 insightful - 6 fun10 insightful - 5 fun11 insightful - 6 fun -  (3 children)

Men fuck/rape other men, women, children, animals and inanimate objects. A gay man died after being fucked by a horse... but the horse's dick was inserted into the man's ass by another man's hands, so they technically sexually assaulted the horse.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enumclaw_horse_sex_case

Men are definitely more sexually fluid.

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Oh god... Mr. Hands. I heard about this back when it happened (the only part I knew was that a man had intercourse with a horse and died during it and there was a video online.) I always wondered what the whole story was. And now I'm just like.................. ok.

I don't mean to insult any of the men here, but censorshipment, you'll get it. I'm sitting here like, it's just such a man thing to go "well... technically the horses were fine, so let's not call it animal abuse to literally fuck a horse repeatedly." If it was women, we'd be like... DUDE YOU FUCKED A HORSE, THAT'S ABUSE. THERE IS NO TECHNICALLY! YOU STUPID FUCK. GO TO PRISON 100 YEARS!

[–]reluctant_commenter 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'm sitting here like, it's just such a man thing to go "well... technically the horses were fine, so let's not call it animal abuse to literally fuck a horse repeatedly."

Well, but-- many of the boys/male teens who WOULDN'T think this, are now being told that they must be girls because they don't agree with stuff like this. :/

I get what you mean, the trend's there, but I'd rather not cement it more, ya know?

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The good news is, if you scroll down the article, (I'm assuming either a majority or all men) voted unanimously to make bestiality illegal after this whole debacle, so there are definitely many decent sensible men out there. But my knee-jerk reaction was 'fucking men... Seriously???'

But you're right of course. The last thing I want is for boys to think "I don't want to fuck horses, does this mean I'm a girl?" (I know this might be sounding sarcastic but I'm being serious. I've seen way too many 'I do/feel/like (random stupid thing) does this mean I'm trans?' posts on the internet. We can't even joke anymore.)

[–]lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian 9 insightful - 4 fun9 insightful - 3 fun10 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

I've only heard women say 'sexuality is fluid', but barely any put their money where their mouth is, at least the ones I know who've used that phrase. The same thing as women who claim to be lesbians, but back off as soon as a woman wants a serious relationship with them.

[–]Seahorse 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's a myth fueled by some bisexual people (who think all women are fluid, thus disrespecting lesbians and straight women alike).

Women's bisexuality though exploited by porn and men, still has been socially acceptable for a long time, whereas bisexual males are not.

[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

See Lisa Diamond's work, that's where this comes from. It's not about the traits of people, it's about their sex.

[–]SnowAssMan 7 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Women are more heteroflexible romantically as well as sexually, while men are sexual opportunists.

"sexuality" is shorthand for sexual orientation & generally refers to who you fall in love with.

[–]fuckupaddamsBisexual Terve 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I honestly think it has a lot to do with what's socially expected in a particular culture.

[–]ColoredTwice 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It is said for same reason why no one believes that female homosexuality even exist and why up until 1930s it was believed that women have no libido at all.