Targeting / HarassmentCis is a slur?

submitted by ukrdude10 from self.LGBDropTheT

I have never liked the word, even in the beginning when its connotation was neutral. I know its Latin origin and blah blah blah, but now it's used almost exclusively in a condescending, "transplaining" kind of way.

Same thing happened with the word "straight", with the formation of r/arethestraightsokay (pure cancer) and similar subs, we LGB's have never used it in a derogatory manner, but the TQ's openly spout bullshit like "die cishet scum".

They are derailing our activism and achievements, changing the meanings and usage of words without our consent, and I am sick of it.

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[–][deleted] 29 insightful - 17 fun29 insightful - 16 fun30 insightful - 17 fun -  (0 children)

Well, most people don't identify as cis so being called cis is misgendering and misgendering is literal violence that kills countless people every day.

[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

The thing is I don't even like the meaning of this word and the insistence to make me identify with it since I don't consider myself trans either. I have no idea what it means to identify with my birth sex, I only accepted it's the sex I was born as. If I was born as a different sex I'd also accept it as my reality but I literally have no gender identity to align with my biological reality. I just don't care. I don't see my gender as a part of my identity and it's fine, because what makes us a person are interests, our personality, our talents and skills... not an esoteric concept gender. Making me say I'm cis makes me think I succumb to a stereotype associated with my sex and it's a center of my person. I hate it. Makes my skin crawl.

[–][deleted] 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I literally have no gender identity to align with my biological reality.

I think TRA's are promulgating the idea that everyone is going to somehow "feel" their gender. When of course, you go back 10 years, we had no popular concept of "feeling" one's gender. Then you have people who are biting off this rhetoric, realizing they don't "feel" their gender, and thus label themselves agender. When really the premise is flawed in the first place, agender person or not.

I have no idea what it means to identify with my birth sex, I only accepted it's the sex I was born as.

Would you agree that being asexual changes your relationship with your sex? You've got this sexed body that isn't particularly useful or meaningful for you?

[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Would you agree that being asexual changes your relationship with your sex?

Certainly I think so my lack of sexuality changes things. I can imagine that maybe if I was straight, bi or gay I could be possibly more attached to my birth sex than I already am. That's my suspicion though. Well, technically the only reason sexes exist in nature is because of procreation, sex. So there is no use for that if you're entirely disinterested. Maybe asexuality (the absolute form of it, not these weird romantic sex-positive asexuals) can also make your relation to your birth sex different from the others though not to the point you go full transsexual. I don't trust that much in statistics thrown around in such spaces but I remember one saying that asexuals have the highest amount of people identifying as trans or non-binary (around 35%). I suspect there is many factors for it like being so dysphoric that you're asexual-like, being just an impressionable teen collecting new labels like Pokémons and then maybe some actual asexuals, who may feel different and overthink their relation to gender by assuming they must be beyond gender or what... No wonder there are so called triple A people - Aromantic Asexual Agender. Still I think this is just silly. You feel differently about your gender but you're not distressed around it? Then why making it a center of who you are?

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I remember one saying that asexuals have the highest amount of people identifying as trans or non-binary

Two points.

One, if you've got a sexed body, but you only understand, intellectually, what people do with those sorts of things, it certainly might not cement as well that you're this sex, as it does for het/homo/bi, insofar as it is your sex, and your compulsion to use it, that creates an identity with regards to other sexed people.

Second, about trans. In the case of autogynephilia, roughly 10% of them identify as asexual. The reason, however, is that of this proportion, their sexuality is 100% wrapped up in the paraphilia, and nothing is left over for interest in other people. This is better called analloerotic. An-without. Allo-other. Without eroticism for others, not asexual. They have a sexuality, it's just very atypical.

[–]KingDickThe2nd 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

People that have a magical spiritual gender are delusional and mentally insane, regardless of whether they identify as cis or trans.

[–]chazzstrong 11 insightful - 7 fun11 insightful - 6 fun12 insightful - 7 fun -  (0 children)

'Cis' is actually the word or phrase I use to decide if I want to put forth the effort to get to know someone. The moment I hear 'cis' come out of their mouth in a non-ironic way, they are dead to me as a person.

[–]ThiccDropkickGay 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don’t find it offensive, just inaccurate.

cisgender: Identifying as having a gender that corresponds to the sex one has been assigned at birth

I wasn’t assigned a sex at birth and don’t ‘identify’ as any gender.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

transplaining

The term we have all needed all this time. Not sure why I've never seen anyone use it before, but thank you.

And yes, cis is clearly a slur. I don't use it. It's just something they hiss at us for having the bodies they want.

[–]censorshipment 4 insightful - 8 fun4 insightful - 7 fun5 insightful - 8 fun -  (10 children)

Lol no, cis is not a slur. Straight ain't a slur. White ain't a slur. Karen ain't a slur. Breeder ain't a slur.

[–]reluctant_commenter 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

I wouldn't call white or straight slurs, but "karen" and "breeder" are derogatory terms even if they aren't the most extreme ones out there.

[–]censorshipment 3 insightful - 7 fun3 insightful - 6 fun4 insightful - 7 fun -  (7 children)

That doesn't mean they shouldn't be used. The fuckyoukaren and childfree subs are two of the most essential online communities because those two demographics (antagonistic white women and parents) have flown under the radar for too goddamn long. They belong in the 2020-2021 Hall of Shame.

https://www.reddit.com/r/FuckYouKaren/comments/gcy3sl/common_sense_karen/

[–]reluctant_commenter 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I'm generally against their use, but you do you I guess. Especially "breeder"-- that seems even more demeaning than "uterus haver" or "chestfeeding" and those are demeaning, too.

[–]milknciggiesLGBToxic 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The term "breeder" is disgusting.

[–]Q-Continuum-kin 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

You are assuming that breeder refers to women.

[–]reluctant_commenter 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I assumed no such thing. I drew two examples of language that both involved people distilling women down to their reproductive organs, but "breeder" could be used in a demeaning way towards men, too.

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I just disagree about calling them "Karens," on account of many perfectly nice people out there named Karen. Call them AWW&P if you want.

[–]QueenOfTheNorthSuperLesbian 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

My biology teacher is named Karen and she doesn't deserve this

[–]lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'd say it all depends on context. You can use pig to describe an animal, but if you call a person a pig, it takes on a derogatory meaning.

Same as white, black, straight, gay, etc. They're all descriptors when used to describe someone's appearance, sexuality, but depending on delivery, tone and context, they can be used as insults, even though the words, in a neutral situation, are not.

Think if it this way: if someone were to use the word 'fucking' in front of it, would it be insulting, i.e. fucking pig or fucking white people as opposed to pig and white people?

[–]latuspodSuper Straight 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Whether or not it is a slur depends on the context, just like every word. You can refuse to play the silly word games.

[–]MatthewofHouseGraySuper straight ally :) 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It annoys the fuck out of me whenever someone on Reddit uses it. You don't need to tack on an extra word to tell people that you're male or female. It's straight out bullshit that young people think they do which is because of all the transgender shit which is being forced on them.

[–]Q-Continuum-kin 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't think it's a slur so much as just absolutely wrong in terms of framing. If someone calls me cis, it's them assigning a "gender identity" onto me which they always clam is such an agregeous sin.

If i don't have a gender identity then I'm not "cis" because that implies I do have one. If I say I'm a man, that's just an acceptance of reality not some magical internal identity being expressed and which needs validation.

[–]milknciggiesLGBToxic 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't know if I'd call it a slur, but it's becoming a derogatory word in those communities. They love to shit on cishets and cis people in general.

[–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

No, but I wouldn't ever use the term unironically as it has no real purpose other than for Trans to feel better about their own imagined sex.

[–]powpowpowpow 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

We are not a subclass of our own sex. I'm not a "cis" woman. I AM a woman, the ones that need to be clarified are the trans ones, not us lmao

I feel like it was used as a tool to get us used to being subclassified and now they want to just be called woman or man while we are the "cis" ones... its just to subvert reality ig

[–]censorshipment 1 insightful - 7 fun1 insightful - 6 fun2 insightful - 7 fun -  (2 children)

But other markers are used, so why not cis too? The default group always gets offended when they're labeled lol I don't say cis (unless I'm trying to blend in with the TRAs on Reddit lol) but I may start using it to antagonize people... like when I call out white women or straight women, and they say "why are you saying white/straight?!" 😄 because I'm black/gay and not talking about my own demographics! I am othering the default/majority groups. 😋

[–]Q-Continuum-kin 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Cisgender implies that everyone has a "gender identity" when most people specifically don't.

[–]powpowpowpow 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think thats different tho... we are all women but there are things that different us by sexual orientation or skin collor, i dont get how cis is the same as those if you could explain it i would be thankful 😭

[–]pacsatonifil 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don’t identify as cis nor do I like the label and I like labels like: gay, man, etc. They help me find and build community. Cis is something I don’t identify myself as, but people put on me. It’s dumb, I’m not trans sure, but I’m also not French, a baker, bald, a body builder, etc. I don’t need labels for things I’m the opposite of or not