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Discussion"If you had to lead a trans support group, how would you do it?"

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[–]julesburm1891 10 insightful - 8 fun10 insightful - 7 fun11 insightful - 8 fun -  (3 children)

God help everyone if I ever had to lead a support group for anything. Touchy-feely stuff is not my forte.

[–]PeakingPeachEaterfemale♀ | detrans🦎 | eater of peaches 🍑 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Ooooo, boy I feel you on that one haha.

I went to a group therapy session once since my then counsellor recommended it ...and...it was really awkward. They asked us "why do are you here?" And I answered to get better/improve (because otherwise, I don't see any point in being there) but everyone just looked at me funny, wouldn't talk hardly during the session. Therapist asked if everyone agreed and they all said no. So I'm like wtf is the point of this session??

Maybe I'm insensitive, but I thought the purpose of going to therapy is to get help to fix issues/problem areas in life...

Then I had the FLIP side where the therapist was like "Just THINK positive, you'll feel better." Oh gee Doc, I didn't think of that. I'm not some damn hippy who's going to think "positive vibes" all the time. And she focused on a lot of non-issue and trivial things in my life while ignoring the stuff I really needed help with...

Soooo...not a fan of group settings nor therapy in general but I'm a hard ass and old school. It's possible that I haven't found a good one yet.

[–]Destresse🇨🇵 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Same 😂 The reason I dropped my psychology studies to go into math/physics instead lol. Much better fit

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I am not qualified to lead a support group, but if I was in charge of the LGB group I think we'd have to talk about sexual attraction and how you express it through your dress and behavior. Who are you trying to be attractive to? Who are you attracted to? Are you avoiding attracting certain people? Maybe these transitioners would find that too upsetting, though.

[–]PeakingPeachEaterfemale♀ | detrans🦎 | eater of peaches 🍑 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That's a good way of looking at it. I thought I was only same-sex attracted for the longest time, plus being gender non-conforming---I wanted to be perceived as "normal" by transitioning and becoming a "straight boy". I was, as the saying goes, "young and dumb".

Who are you trying to be attractive to? Who are you attracted to? Are you avoiding attracting certain people? Maybe these transitioners would find that too upsetting, though.

I think the tough questions need to be asked, because going through with surgery or taking hormones that have permanent effects is serious and needs to be thought over. If it's permanent/life changing, people will need to think about what they do before they do.

[–]PeakingPeachEaterfemale♀ | detrans🦎 | eater of peaches 🍑 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Here was my comment below:

Well, I'm gendernonconforming and detrans who's not for transitioning, so I'll try to be unbiased but...If they give superficial reasons for wanting to transition, I will call it out...as nicely as possible lol.

I come from an environment that was extremely religious, sexist and well...abusive... I thought I needed to "transition" to be normal since my interests were stereotypical "masculine" and I also was only same-sex attracted from grade school...until late teens/early 20s, I became attracted to the opposite sex too apart from same-sex.

Many confused me as a boy anyways, so it made it a bit easier. I was a young teen when I wanted to transition, and read up about gender dysphoria (which mine was severe) and also looked into hormones/surgery but that scared me off and made me more depressed that I could NEVER be like a biological male and wished I would just die instead...or be "reborn" as one.

Anyways, detransitioned around late teens/early 20s somewhere around there. So...that's just a little bit of background.

To answer your question, I would look deep into WHY they want to transition. Ask them questions on "Why do you feel you should be born female/male" and depending on their answer...just go over it with them.

For example "I wish I was born a girl because I love makeup, dresses, and going shopping" or "I wish I was a boy because I love math, sports, and technology #NotLikeOtherGirls™" ...then those are shallow reasons and would tell them both they can still be themselves without having to change their sex and challenge their sexist perceptions.

If he said "I hate my hairy body, I hate seeing XYZ about body and wish I could just rip this off, etc", then we'd talk about the body issues he's facing and what we can do to help with the body dysphoria. I've experienced that too, so I would be gentle and do the best I can to help him navigate his feelings.

If she said " I wish I were a boy because in my culture, women are treated as lesser beings and I want to be seen as more" or even..."I want to be a boy to avoid child marriage" that's a WHOLE OTHER thing to unpack that's culture related...Once again, would just have discussions about it.

Also, HousePlant has a really good answer on what she would do if she had a trans support group. I'm not for transitioning either, but would have to be unbiased in this situation as much as possible.

Edit: Here's the full conversation here