Transing ChildrenHow children trans each other - from the horse's mouth...

submitted by reluctant_commenter from self.LGBDropTheT

r/lgballt is an online community of people who make "ball" memes about very niche "MOGAI" invented sexualities or gender identities. The [Subreddit User-Overlap]() website shows that a disproportionate number of its users are minors (or, people interested in minors...)-- someone who posts/comments on r/lgballt is about 25 times likelier than the average redditor to also post/comment on r/bisexualteens.

In this post, one user describes how they "created a transfem" out of their friend: https://www.reddit.com/r/lgballt/comments/no2r4y/oops_i_created_a_transfem/ ([archive link]()) (direct image link)

Although a lot of us are already aware of how child-transing happens through online communities, particularly Reddit, Tumblr and Youtube communities, this post really struck me because 1) it's so blatantly open about how the process happens 2) the post's "transfem" who was "created" by the friend seems reluctant/afraid when their friend suggests they may be trans...

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[–]Socialjustus 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Wow, they don't even hide their grooming anymore. We've officially gotten to the point where they feel safe just admitting it in the open.

Even worse, by doing this, they're basically confirming the homophobic idea that it's all "a choice".

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

This has me thinking about a comparison to lesbigay youth and how we realize and acknowledge our homosexual and bisexual orientations. In my experience it’s always been considered taboo to not let people work that out on their own time. That being said I’ve talked about r/LBL and the “MasterDoc”being a breeding ground for obscuring the realities of gay and bi women and convincing straight and bi women that they are lesbians not based on recognizing their own homosexual tendencies but by confounding and redefining what it means to be a bisexual or lesbian woman. But it’s a TQ “words don’t have any real meaning” driven discourse.

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

In my experience it’s always been considered taboo to not let people work that out on their own time.

Yeah, why is that? Everybody's always asking, pushing to either suppress it or bring it out of children, like seriously can't we just let children figure it out at their own pace? I've never thought of calling it "taboo" but there really does seem to be a lot of resistance to the idea on both sides of the political spectrum.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

I mean specifically a lot of lesbigay people seem to treat it as taboo. I agree that both liberal and conservative non-LGB people push to make it an issue from parents who want to sus out and broadcast their children’s sexual orientation for woke points to conservatives who want to scare the gay out of kids before they’re old enough to understand what that even means. But among lesbigay people, we run into people all the time who strike us as having SSA they haven’t worked out yet but in my experience we don’t tend to push that conversation on them and say unprompted “have you considered you’re actually gay.” Again this is my experience, but I find that a lot of us are happy answer questions when they come to us but won’t initiate that conversation. When I came out as gay to gay people I knew, some did say they suspected I was gay or bisexual but they never pushed that conversation on me. I think there’s a recognition that everyone handles this process differently and at whatever point they’re ready to. Because even though we would like SSA to be neutral and it should be, there are still profound life consequences that come with acknowledging that. It’s a huge shift in recasting our lives for each of us to process.

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I think you're right. I think we know what it feels like so we know not to put others, especially teenagers, through that. Sometimes the best way to be supportive is to just give people their space and let them know you don't have a problem with them.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I wholeheartedly agree.

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

But among lesbigay people, we run into people all the time who strike us as having SSA they haven’t worked out yet but in my experience we don’t tend to push that conversation on them and say unprompted “have you considered you’re actually gay.”

Funny... I actually had the opposite experience when I was in college. I knew people who would pressure others to consider whether they were same sex attracted, sometimes aggressively so. I still believed in gender identity ideology back then, but even in spite of that, I got to the point where I believed that this behavior was basically bullying and sat a couple friends down, e.g. who thought someone was "OBVIOUSLY gay and in denial, I mean, he likes baking, and look how much he hugs people!" (I feel dumb even writing that out, lol, but true story.) Perhaps this is one of those delightful LGB generational differences?

I think there’s a recognition that everyone handles this process differently and at whatever point they’re ready to.

I would fucking love that. Literally, just that. I have felt so pressured whenever this conversation comes up IRL either one way or the other-- "gays are fucking evil!" from one side, or, "all the gays are doing great now that gay marriage is passed, time to crack some homophobic jokes!" from the other side. I have never really had that experience you describe, though, unfortunately. /rant lol

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Perhaps this is one of those delightful LGB generational differences?

I think it is. My gay friends who are into gender woo still wouldn’t ever pull that kind of nonsense. I do think their gender obsession, more than anything, is a reaction to a lot of the impotence we have felt and trauma society inflicted on gay people. I don’t think this is something that many of the most vehement Gen Z TQ activists have experienced. I think for a lot of Gen Z, their sexual orientation has not ever been made to feel like a source of shame, depending on their ethnic, religious, and socioeconomic background ofc. And so they had a very different experience coming out as gay and don’t see it as consequential. Consequently, pride/the LGB(T) community has an entirely different meaning to them and is more like a team sport than a support group.

[–]reluctant_commenter[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

more like a team sport than a support group.

Hah, that's a great way to put it. Might steal that.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I do so love when they remind us that gender is a social construct and a belief system, yet somehow society and those of us who don't believe in gender bullshit are all supposed to validate their batshittery.