all 29 comments

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 33 insightful - 1 fun33 insightful - 0 fun34 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

I'm never going to "unpack my preferences" because a) I can’t help what I’m attracted to, and b) there’s nothing wrong with my sexual orientation. If this makes me a bigot in their eyes, then so be it. I don’t need everybody to like me. In fact, it’s time people stopped trying to get everybody to like us, because you’re not free if you're trying to please everybody. So yeah, I’m not going to "unpack my preferences" for people I don’t know and for people I don’t like. And I certainly will never betray my own nature for drag queens, who in my opinion, should not be the ambassadors for the gay, lesbian and bisexual communities to the straight community.

[–]Virginia_Plain 22 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Love it. My lightbulb moment came when I was being lectured on something like this, and realized that this woman had no interest at all in whether what she was asking was appropriate or reasonable for gay men. It was not delivered in the form of a question ("have you ever thought of..."), but a demand: overcome your bigotry! Do as I say! There was no interest in who I was or what I was about, just that I needed to get with her FTM friend to suit her.

Why would I want to be in the good graces of someone like that?

People like Bob seem to like all sorts of people, being a pansexual and all. Good for him. But if someone needs to do soul-searching and "unpacking" ( which is wokenese for "changing," as I doubt people would gracefully accept any other result), in order to be attracted to someone, it is not in their interest.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Thankfully, I have never been shamed into dating a trans person. But I can imagine it must have been frustrating for you to get this woman and her "gay" best friend to leave you alone.

[–]Virginia_Plain 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Actually, the FTM person seemed embarrassed in this case. I consider....her....a friend actually. I was not shamed into doing anything, though I wish I wasn't so apologetic at the time. It did get me thinking though. I was very unthinkingly progressive at the time, but I realized there was something about this that did not sit right with me.

I thought back to my own experiences of being after a straight man: how unrealistic my expectations were, my disappointment in realizing that this emotionally intimate friend was not wanting to take things closer, etc. But the anger, the rage at him, was not there. I realized that it would be horrible to treat him that way, so why should I roll over for anyone who asks something like that of me?

I came to the conclusion that I was not rationalizing my prejudice, and I had every right to say no and not feel bad about it.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Good on you for learning. We learn, we grow. And good on that FTM for not supporting that woman who lectured you. If I was lectured by anyone over my sexual orientation, I’d stand my ground reaffirm my request that any boyfriend I'd get has a penis. I’d let the person end ties with me if this bothered the person so much that I have "genital preferences".

Don’t feel bad about apologising. You shouldn’t have done that, it was a mistake, but a mistake can be a positive experience if you learn from it, which you did. You know what to do next time. Besides, if you’re not used to confrontations like this, it’s natural you’re going to be agreeable just to get out of the situation. Standing up for yourself comes with experience.

[–]Virginia_Plain 12 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Yes. While I consider myself "leftish" my dealings with frankly childish people has soured my outlook on the radical fringe people. What really drove the nail in was the constant demands that I find money to donate to them. I did physically demanding warehouse work 50 hours a week. They clearly saw the work as beneath them when I talked about it....and yet after I came home from this degrading job I was supposed to parcel out my spare cash for someone's "reparations car." Meanwhile, my own vehicle was a 14 year old Corolla with a check engine light and in need of a new clock spring.

I would constantly hear about some of these people going to New Orleans, the Bay area, even Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. Their facebook feeds showed them in exotic outfits in warehouse parties and raves held in the woods. I mean, I got to dress weird and do drugs too sometimes, but when I could get a weekend off and save up a few bucks for that bag of mushrooms.

But there was a strange disconnect between this anarcho-communist, gender smashing presentation and the sheer cost of what they did, and it didn't add up. I felt suckered. "Twas a grift, my dear warrior.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I’m neither on the left, nor the right. Well, I have views that are right wing and views that are left wing. And there are nutters on both the left, the right and the centre. Being a social justice warrior or a purity spiralist is not an ideology, it’s a mentality. And people with such extreme views are often either shielded from reality (like your woke "friends" who demand you give money to certain causes and go on expensive holidays, or like Richard Spencer, who is wealthy enough to avoid a good lawyer to get him out of trouble), or they have been through such hard times and never fully recovered, and they don’t know how to trust other people as a result, or they are incredibly socially awkward and don’t understand humanity.

You’re a hard worker, and that’s a good thing. And you will become physically stronger from it. Work smarter as well, but being a hard worker will benefit you in the long run. Save your money as well, and only spend it on necessities and the occasional takeout, day out or night out as a treat. Don’t waste it on causes just to feel good, only donate to charities you care about and charities you trust. But you’ll be alright. Unlike those spoilt brats who sit around all day living on their parents wages or working easy jobs, spending money on luxuries most people cannot afford, which is fine, except that these same people whine about wanting everything to be free and handed to them. Ironically, these same people become capitalists as soon as they start "earning" lots of money, like the former leader of BLM, who now owns four houses. They say they’re socialists, but at heart, they’re neoliberals.

[–]hellonumpty 29 insightful - 1 fun29 insightful - 0 fun30 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It's funny because surely, if there's any group among the population that has thought about their sexuality in depth, it's LGB people.

Every time I think that gender identity ideology is harmless, I get reminded that it will never allow homosexuality to exist.

Yup!

Also twitter TRAs are now pushing that the whole 'genital preferences' thing is as a TERF lie and conspiracy theory. 🤦🏻‍♀️ The natural evolution of "this never happens"

[–]Neo_Shadow_LurkerPronouns: I/Don't/Care 11 insightful - 5 fun11 insightful - 4 fun12 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Also twitter TRAs are now pushing that the whole 'genital preferences' thing is as a TERF lie and conspiracy theory. 🤦🏻‍♀️ The natural evolution of "this never happens"

LOL

  • TRAs: say something stupidly stupid.

  • Rest of the world: that's stupid.

  • TRAs: it was all a TERF psyop! We swear!

How stupid they think we are?

[–][deleted] 23 insightful - 7 fun23 insightful - 6 fun24 insightful - 7 fun -  (0 children)

How about "pansexuals" stop trying to talk about homosexuality? They aren't homosexual, they don't know what the fuck they're talking about and it's not their place to say anything. Just go fuck your pans and leave us alone.

[–]Criticallacitirc 21 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 0 fun22 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Bob is just like the only gay guy I personally know that has dated a trans man. Both Bob and the person I know are in thurples. Two cis men & one trans men. Which makes me feel they would not be sexually satisfied with just a trans partner exclusively.

[–]Neo_Shadow_LurkerPronouns: I/Don't/Care 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

So their realtionship is basically two gay man and an Aideen side piece.

It looks like even the gay woke can't resist the real dick lolz

[–]Criticallacitirc 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

The people know used the Aiden to have a baby.

[–]Neo_Shadow_LurkerPronouns: I/Don't/Care 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

And then, let me guess, they dumped her ass?

[–][deleted] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yess, one of Bob's partners is female, he is definitely pushing an agenda. What is worrying is that his following is massive and quite potent on reddit, literally brainwashing the young people

[–]divingrightintowork 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

Always so unselfaware they are - "You just got to get over your unexamined preferences about body parts."

[–]Virginia_Plain 17 insightful - 4 fun17 insightful - 3 fun18 insightful - 4 fun -  (6 children)

Until someone wants bottom surgery, then everyone must stampede to their GoFundMe before they kill themselves.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 16 insightful - 4 fun16 insightful - 3 fun17 insightful - 4 fun -  (5 children)

Also, trans people are allowed to have their sexual preferences, "because reasons, bigot!"

[–]Virginia_Plain 12 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

That's the most frustrating thing about all this. I think there is definitely room for trans people in society, but everything is cast in terms of people ceding ground on very personal boundaries. There are trans people I've met who are "t4t" and feel that they'd be best off with someone who understands their dysphoria. That is perfectly rational.

I'd like for a society where people can be open about things like transitioning and LGB identity, and for everyone involved to state their desires without fearing for their livelihood (or lives). But these sorts of demands are cruel, and do not give anyone (not even the trans person) an opportunity for a happy, fulfilling relationship.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don’t support this transgender stuff, but whatever. If a man wants to become a woman and look and act as such, it’s none of my business. But I am bothered that I am expected to support it, and that I’m expected to sleep with people with vaginas. And frankly, I do think that trans people would be happier if society was just ambivalent towards them and didn’t put them on a pedestal.

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think there is definitely room for trans people in society, but everything is cast in terms of people ceding ground on very personal boundaries. There are trans people I've met who are "t4t" and feel that they'd be best off with someone who understands their dysphoria. That is perfectly rational.

The problem I have, though, is that the very nature of the trans mindset-- transgenderism as a concept in itself-- seems to require that we cede ground on very personal boundaries. Even if we're talking trans people who are t4t. Because while they won't be pressuring the rest of us to date them (thankfully), I assume they'll still want everyone to act as though we can't perceive their sex, and agree that "gender" overrides it. Meaning that we don't have the right to our own perceptions or beliefs. Which seems like ceding a lot of ground right there.

So, yes, there's room in society for trans people, if they don't expect others to pretend they're something which they clearly are not. But otherwise, it seems to me that there isn't. And, moreover, can't be.

[–]Neo_Shadow_LurkerPronouns: I/Don't/Care 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

*because dysphoria.

You know, the ultimate jail-free card.

[–]usehername 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

It actually isn't bad advice to at least think about why you have certain preferences, such as in personality or looks. The thing is, orientation isn't a preference and can't be changed by "examination" or any form of conversion therapy.

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

From them it is bad advice. They want you to think your orientation is because of racism/colonialism/white supremacy or whatever else they can think of. Anyone who is telling you examine your preferences is only trying to get you to get over not wanting to sleep with them.

[–]usehername 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Anyone who is telling you examine your preferences is only trying to get you to get over not wanting to sleep with them.

True, but as someone with a very rigid type, I do wonder.

[–]Dromedary 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'd love to as these dumb, shitty people hassling gays and lesbians : I want to ask them, why don't you fucking go hassle straight cis guys over why they don't like dick? Why don't you bark and bitch at heterosexual men for their orientation and tastes? Because you're a coward. Because you'd be laughed out of town. I really hate these shitbirds. Who the hell do they think they are saying homosexuality is a PROBLEM to be solved, and who the fuck asked them?

[–]Uranian 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, this is exactly why I went through a painful coming out process lasting years and causing distress and anxiety not only for me but for my parents and others - to have some man in a dress tell me that I just haven't met the right girl yet.

I am under no obligation to "unpack my preferences". What is this - compulsory bisexuality?

This has, however, certainly made me unpack my belief that Bob The Drag Queen is worth my time. Bye girl bye! Your makeup is terrible, by the way...

[–][deleted] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Bob and Monet are absolute scum, the drag race fandom eats up their opinions like the fucking gospel. Moronic woke propagandist queens. Bob is in a polyamorous relationship and one of his partners is a FTM, so obviously he is pushing an agenda

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[removed]

    [–]automoderatorHuman-Exclusionary Radical Overlord[M] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Your submission has been removed due to:

    Rule 4. Disallowed Language

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