all 21 comments

[–]Destresse🇨🇵 34 insightful - 1 fun34 insightful - 0 fun35 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

You're not crazy.

Are you implying you don't have friends? If that's the case I think you should start by removing yourself from "queer" or "LGBTQIA+" environments. Find people with a common interest that isn't your sexuality. Maybe a club or something. Or, if you have a job, turn to colleagues. The work place can be a good place to form friendships.

The most important is to remove yourself from any situation/relationship that doesn't respect you.

[–]MyLongestJourney 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This is some very good advice!

[–]Rial[S] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I do have straight friends and you're right that being gay shouldn't be the ONLY thing I have in common with someone, but is having just a few gay friends too much to ask?

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

is having just a few gay friends too much to ask?

Until you trip over some who are better at critical thought (and how you find that out is tricky in itself), it...might be difficult right now. I agree with focusing on common interest social groups instead while the tide continues to (we all hope) turn on this stuff, back toward sanity.

Meanwhile, hang out with us here, at least.

[–]Destresse🇨🇵 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah. Not too much to ask but hard to find unfortunately

[–][deleted] 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

No you arent crazy. Its a cult and sadly women are more susceptible to it than men, instead of praising young women for their individuality the queerdos just encourage collective thinking. Its just like a religious cult, except instead of God there is gender woowoo. I'm sorry you are going through this, stand your ground. I know its a very challenging time for lesbians but stand your ground and believe in yourself. Don't give in to homophobic ideology wrapped up in a pretty rainbow package.

Also, an advice from an older homosexual (albeit a male one), believing in genderism will not give you a gf. Trust me. The woker you go up the woke hierarchy the more fucked up it becomes relationship wise. Polyamory and excessive sexual activity is truly messing up the gays. I know you are young and these feelings are normal, we all want a special someone but never compromise your own ideals to have a gf. You are worth more than this gender bs, remember that. These people are also not happy themselves, its just like a crabs in a bucket situation, they want to pull you in to join in their misery. Don't fret about it. Trust when you become an old gay like me (that is turn 30) you'll automatically realize that relationships/friendships for the sake of relationships/friendships don't matter at all. I hope you have a good day.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 11 insightful - 3 fun11 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

OMG, it's 30 years old now? LMAO I agree relationships for the sake fo relationships aren't worth it. Being by yourself is way better than being with a non compatible person/someone you don't like. You kinda have to accept the possibility that you won't find someone. It's hard, but it's a possibility of life. Finding compatible people is hard, and when you're dating poll is small it's worst.

[–]Rial[S] 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Haha 30 isn't old! But thank you, really. I just feel like I never got to have all those teenage romances like my straight friends and it's honestly heartbreaking that I really might never get to.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Don't worry, you can find people at any age: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WTXPWPcOkQ&t=104s

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Just work on staying alive and healthy and engaged with life. People find romance at all ages! Please don't tell yourself now that you never will find that. Just embrace your life and live it as fully as you can. That alone will tend to attract other people to you.

[–]MyLongestJourney 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You are not crazy the cult of queer critical theory has taken over our spaces and big tech. Keep searching though OP.The girl is out there.

[–]reluctant_commenter 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Nope, you're not crazy. And I feel that same pressure you described.

I just feel hopeless and like eventually I'll just be worn down.

I know it's probably hard to hear, but... you just have to keep going. All LGB people who have woken up to the new wave of homophobia spreading internationally, we have to keep going. It sucks that this is what reality is like right now, but this is the legacy of being same sex attracted in a world of straight people: misinformation about our demographic is everywhere, even among people in our own communities.

On a more hopeful note... things ARE changing, and that's pretty awesome to see. :) With the Keira Bell verdict in December 2020, a bunch of countries are starting to scrutinize medical institutions and take a greater interest in child safeguarding. The data they collect in these investigations, will in turn inform public opinion and hit mainstream media. Your friends who are pressuring you about the "queer" stuff will eventually move on, even though it might seem unbelievable to imagine now.

You said your friends are pressuring you; is there a way you could set some boundaries with them, or maybe find activities involving other people?

[–]Rial[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

It's not my current friends, it's whenever I try to find gay or lesbian friends. It's like I have to pass a 'Queer' test just to be considered, you know?

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's a cult right now. Don't try to join. I know it sucks. <3 Worst clique ever.

If it helps you think about this a different way, I know I am considerably older than you, and I kind of gave up on trying to have LGB friends for the sake of having them a long time ago because I ran into too much immaturity. That was well before the current TRA insanity. Better to just do what you enjoy and filter your friends as usual and if one of them is gay now and then, bonus.

[–]reluctant_commenter 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Sorry this is a few days late-- I totally get you. I think there are some out LGB people like that out there, it's just, they tend to be quieter and less aggressive than the "queer"-obsessed people who "identify" as LGB. I've found a few, and it's become a habit for me to carefully sound out any LGB person I meet; I ask myself, "Is this person likely to belittle, put down, or dismiss me because I don't believe in Queer Theory?"

It's frustrating as hell. Some LGB-identified people get mad if you suggest that our demographic is not a monolith... I tend to prefer being around people who are open-minded enough to be tolerant of my differences in opinion, even if that means I end up being friends with fewer LGB people than I might have liked.

[–]Retardation_station 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Like I'm the problem and if I just gave in, even just saying i believe in it all and not meaning it, then maybe I would magically have friends and the girlfriend of my dreams.

Capitulation is never the answer to something you already know is wrong.

Those aren't the kind of people you'd like to impress.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This.

[–]Socialjustus 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

When I was a kid, I learned that the majority of the German people went along with Nazi propaganda. the number of citizens who actually resisted were so few and far in between, you could count them on a single hand.

Back then, I convinced myself that it was because people are inherently evil. But now that I'm older, I know that it came from fear. Not fear of consequences, but literally fear of just not fitting in. We are social animals, that's why it's so easy to manipulate most of us.

Independant thought is a valuable gem and it clearly shines in you, if you've been able to ignore the zeitgeist and keep your wits. You are NOT crazy. Sane people are actually a rarity and you are one of them.

Think about how many people went along with the Nazis and realize that sometimes it's good to be in the ideological minority.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't think you will be happy with someone calling herself "they" or that one day wakes up and tells you she's a transman. Point is, having the impulse to mate is natural, but mating for the sake of mating doesn't make you happy. Buy a dog or cat. They keep you company, are better than people. Hope that you will find someone right, but accept also the alternative. Compromising on fundamental values won't give you an happy relationship.

[–]Q-Continuum-kin 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's certainly gaslighting. They want you to feel crazy until you give in.

Thing to realize is you are seeing it as the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. It's just a mirage. Once one the other side it will be equally or more miserable.

I think the thing to explore is your frame of mind that makes you think that a fairy tale life exists. If you expect perfection from life then you better define perfection in a realistic context.

[–]Rag3 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You are not crazy. u/Destresse gave some great advice there so I can’t add much but to say again: you’re not nuts. The world has started drinking this gender koolaid.

Stay strong.