DiscussionJust got asked my pronouns at a job interview.

submitted by strawberrysun from self.LGBDropTheT

I'm a feminine-looking woman with a female name and voice. If you can't infer that I'm a she from context clues, I don't even know what to say to you. My industry is infested with wokeness, but I was still totally caught off-guard.

I haven't job hunted in a few years, and this did not happen at any place I've interviewed with before.

Is this widespread now, and has it ever happened to you?

Kinda want to run away, but the money is good...

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[–]ArthnoldManacatsaman🇬🇧🌳🟦 51 insightful - 28 fun51 insightful - 27 fun52 insightful - 28 fun -  (4 children)

When this inevitably happens to me I'm going to just play dumb:

A: What are your pronouns?

B: My what?

A: Your pronouns?

B: My... I... pronouns? I, my, me, mine? This? These?

A: No, how do you like to be referred to?

B: Well my name, surely?

etc.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 21 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 0 fun22 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Instead of “well my name, surely” I would sub in an awkward pause followed by stating your name or nickname in a confused but calm tone that conveys, “is this what you wanted?” It’s important to not be too on the nose. I would think they would move on after that point.

[–]powpowpowpow 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That's smart

[–]jjdub7TERF (Trans Exterminating Reactionary Fascist) 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

"Okay then, Shirley, it is."

[–]MatthewofHouseGraySuper straight ally :) 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

"Surely, you can't be serious?"

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 21 insightful - 8 fun21 insightful - 7 fun22 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

Crazy stuff. You should say your pronounce are "your highness, the queen"

[–]Retardation_station 22 insightful - 2 fun22 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Run. Now.

[–]RiverSong 21 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 0 fun22 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Like you I'm unmistakable female, and if that ever happens to me in the future, I'll probably speak before I think this through, ask the interviewer "what do you think?", then I won't get the job, and that will be that.

[–]Mermer 14 insightful - 11 fun14 insightful - 10 fun15 insightful - 11 fun -  (1 child)

"If I say It's he/him will I get paid more?"

[–]strawberrysun[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh my god, this is brilliant.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 17 insightful - 2 fun17 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I’ve never been asked for my pronouns in interviews. And I’ve had six or seven interviews for the last year. Granted, I live in the west of Ireland; yes, Ireland is woke, but not that woke. Nobody asks for your pronouns here, you have to state them if you are a weird person.

[–]Q-Continuum-kin 14 insightful - 3 fun14 insightful - 2 fun15 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

The only person I've interacted with in real life (ie not on the internet) who added pronouns was a local politician in an email signature... (Which is still somewhat of an internet phenomenon) I'm assuming he has to do it to avoid being cancelled by some random nutter constituent.

I don't intend to ever participate in tautological postmodern metaphysical essentialism. That's my answer to being asked about pronouns.

[–]yousaythosethingsFind and Replace "gatekeeping" with "having boundaries" 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I think the way to handle it is to politely and indirectly make them feel silly for asking and make them question in their heads and have to justify why they’re asking you. If they already know you’re gay because they’ve looked you up online or from something on your resume, it will be helpful for them to call into question their expectation that you must be used to it and in favor of it.

I think acting genuinely bewildered and caught off guard but not dwelling on it is the best policy.

My what?

My pronouns??

My pronouns for what? Sorry, I’ve never been asked that before.

Then change the subject since this is a job interview.

. . . Only if they persist:

(For how you identify)

In terms of what? Sorry, I don’t understand.

Are you asking me if I’m male or female?

Then proceed to not work there.

[–]ArthnoldManacatsaman🇬🇧🌳🟦 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Then proceed to not work there.

Indeed.

Part of me thinks that my unrelenting need to be professional would override the urge to have a little fun with this kind of thing, especially if it were a job interview that I had worked really hard towards or it was a job I really wanted or I was desperate or something.

Then another part of me thinks that if this is a job interview question and they're deadly serious then this is clearly a place where I would not enjoy working, and my opinions will not be welcome. In which case, why not have a little fun? If one of the interviewers reflects on their ridiculous interview questions in light of your baffled 'what-the-hell-kind-of-linguistics-test-is-this?' response to their question, then perhaps it wasn't a complete waste of time after all.

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Fortunately, it hasn't crossed my path yet. How did you respond?

[–]strawberrysun[S] 17 insightful - 5 fun17 insightful - 4 fun18 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

I wanted to be professional, so I just said I'm a she, but I'm sure the surprise on my face was evident.

[–]jim_steak 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I could be wrong, but to me this seems like a way to weed out difficult people from the workplace. I definitely avoid people with weird pronouns in my personal life, it would make sense for a job to want to avoid bringing in people who are going to throw a temper tantrum if people don't follow the specific rules for interacting with them.

[–]TransspeciesUnicornI sexually identify as a mythical sparkly equine 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Nope, never been asked about my pronouns at an interview. Some people where I work put their pronouns in their email signatures but that's it.

[–]strawberrysun[S] 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The recruiter who reached out to me about this had pronouns in his email signature, so I probably should have seen this coming.

[–]MisandryFTW 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

My response to "What are your pronouns?" is either "Surprise me!" or "You know, putting people on the spot and asking their pronouns can be very triggering for people."

[–]reluctant_commenter 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yes this has happened to me. I risk my career if I don't play along. I can think of several people people directly above me at my workplace who are invested in their belief in gender identity.

I hate to say it, but survival comes first.

[–]tu_jode_mucho 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I haven't been asked pronouns directly at job or interview but when I was applying for jobs around March-May I encountered a few applications that asked about gender and sexuality. I did a little experiment and told the truth on applications where I didn't care much about the company, and omitted or lied on ones that I was more keen on. No call back from any companies where I selected my actual sexuality (I even selected they/them pronouns on one) and got call backs from all companies where my application would indicate I'm a standard hetero female. When their stupid woke ideas just result in another way for companies to discriminate eye roll