LifestyleWhy aren't there any lesbian stories/studies on the internet?

submitted by oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ from self.LGBDropTheT

Hello everyone,

I can't seem to notice that anytime I want to seek support online regarding being gay, coming terms with it, the isolation, the anxiety, the bullying and so on, I only can find gay male stories. I can relate to them, which is nice and helps me, but I'm a lesbian and I keep wondering: why is it all gay male stories?

It seems like anytime I try to search something more specifically lesbian, I get nothing unless it's about the LGBTQ+ community as a whole or if I search homossexuality it assumes it's about gay men.

Have you also noticed this? Do you know why this is? (If I'm wrong, please send me the link f you don't mind because I'd love to read lesbian stories!)

Lesbianism feels like it's more invisible than ever, honestly. :|

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[–]Destresse🇨🇵 12 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

Yeah. First time I read a lesbian opening up about the struggles of homosexuality, it was a detrans woman.

I feel like the only lesbian who is uncomfortable with my orientation to be honest lol

I know it's not true because I've talked with various other lesbians who felt the same way, but yes. Nothing public, ever

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I know it's not true because I've talked with various other lesbians who felt the same way, but yes. Nothing public, ever

It's so strange that this happens!

[–]Destresse🇨🇵 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I have theories. 😆

Historically, women have been kept inside households and out of the public eye. This is a behaviour that can still be observed to this day with parents raising their boys to be more active and outdoors compared to their girls. That research is quite a few years old though. But in any case, that is something we can reproduce without thinking, keeping discrete, out of the public eye, not sharing our thoughts etc. Lesbians are stereotyped to be more "indoors", I think there's a reason for that lol.

Another possibility is that we are so used to lacking allies and empathy from people, that's we've learned not to show weakness. Personally, the only times I've tried opening up about subjects like shame, I've been pretty brutally dismissed. By what I suspect are closeted bi women (or confused straight women? I honestly don't know). The one time it was received with respect was from my straight uncle. (I was surprised but at the same time not really. He is one of those straight people who actually questioned their sexuality and came out of it thinking 'yes OK I really am straight so I have to look elsewhere for an explanation on why all my relationships fail' lol)

I still have lots of thoughts on the matter but I think those two make up for the majority. What do you think? Does that fit in your experience?

[–]spanishprofanity 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Idk. Even in the media, anytime I see a lesbian character, there's never a point where they are ashamed, have a secret lover, and/or have a coming out story. It's always the gay male character that goes through this.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Are you looking specifically for current stuff or would things a few (or more) years old work?

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It can be a few years old work. Like if it was from up till 10-15 years ago would be fine, but more years old I think it would already be too far away from my personal experience.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm going to include these (which might not be all on the 'net but if you have a local library system that has ebooks, that might be another avenue) under "historical works" since they are outside of your date range but might be of interest for other reasons. I might think of others later and will drop anything newer here that I find that might be of interest.

JoAnn Loulan: https://www.goodreads.com/author/list/260439.JoAnn_Loulan

Radclyffe Hall: This novel, written in 1928, was a turning point for the visibility of lesbians ("The Well of Loneliness made sexual inversion a subject of household conversation for the first time. The banning of the book drew so much attention to the very subject it was intended to suppress that it left British authorities wary of further attempts to censor books for lesbian content."): https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/129223.The_Well_of_Loneliness (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Well_of_Loneliness) (https://gutenberg.net.au/ebooks06/0609021h.html)

Audre Lorde: https://www.forharriet.com/2014/02/5-books-by-audre-lorde-everyone-should.html

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I've experienced much the same thing with bisexuality-- everywhere you go, even when it's presented as bi-specific... focus quickly shifts to the collective "LGBTQ+". Gay men, lesbians, "pan" (OF COURSE), "trans" (how could we ever forget...), "demi"-whateverthefuck, even "ace"! And QUEER as far as the fucking eye can see... but hardly any mention of, yanno, bisexuals. Can't tell you how frustrating and alienating this is (though unfortunately I guess you already know, from the lesbian end of things).

About the best advice I can give at this point is to maybe consider doing what I am (in partnership with an equally fed-up bi guy): start your own blog/web site/whatever. I know it's not fair-- you shouldn't HAVE to do this! There ought to be plenty of lesbian resources out there, with stories/studies that you can find yourself in, and get support from. But we're all living in this stupid TQ+ hellscape now... and that means being forced to create our own refuges, and keep the gender-zombies from the fuckin' door. Maybe you can attract other young lesbians who feel the same way, and will be able to share experiences that you can both relate to. I hope so.

[–]censorshipment 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

Female homosexuality is typically connected to feminism, in order to separate it from male homosexuality. So if you want to find lesbian stuff... look into feminism. There can be an issue with that though since homophobic heterosexual feminists didn't want lesbianism tied to feminism.

Oh, nowadays, I think you'd have to search for "queer women" stories. And google shit like "comphet" and "lesbian masterdoc" because that's what late bloomers talk about all the time.

https://mashable.com/article/covid-coming-out-queer-lgbtq-pandemic

https://www.hercampus.com/school/vcu/why-everyone-should-read-lesbian-masterdoc-even-if-youre-not-lesbian/

https://www.girlfriend.com.au/what-is-the-lesbian-masterdoc

https://djenneg.com/2021/03/05/the-am-i-a-lesbian-masterdoc-is-amazing/

https://www.reddit.com/r/latebloomerlesbians has coming out stories.

[–]babystud 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Maybe skip the masterdoc since it was written by a bi woman

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Hasn't that thing been legitimately criticized as well? I forget for what reasons. (Aside from the author being bisexual not being the best starting point.)

[–]7874 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Do you think that the fact that it's a bi women telling lesbians what being a lesbian is like isn't legitimate criticism? Or did I misread your comment?

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Misread. Sometimes I employ understatement as a form of humor.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

u/oofreesouloo I just came across this Twitter feed: https://twitter.com/LabrysLit