all 17 comments

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 13 insightful - 3 fun13 insightful - 2 fun14 insightful - 3 fun -  (6 children)

Thank you for this report from the front. Does the group have a specific purpose or is it just a general gathering / support group for your geographical area?

[–]jay-dayGold Star Gay Woman[S] 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

It's a program at my college. It's for gathering, and advocacy for LGB/t students.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I wish I didn't want to tell you that you're gutsy for participating, but you are.

[–]jay-dayGold Star Gay Woman[S] 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

If I get to help other LGB people I'll deal with it. Where I live there isn't much of an LGB community, so it's very isolating.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I can relate. I didn't start to meet other people like me until college. And then, very few until I started traveling regularly to a major city.

[–]jay-dayGold Star Gay Woman[S] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I am be gutsy, but not that gutsy. There's an LGB/t anime group here. Not touching that. I have my limits.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Touching that would probably indicate some degree of masochism.

[–]ChunkeeguyTeam T*RF Fuck Yeah 11 insightful - 3 fun11 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Dear god that sounds so fucking exhausting. Wake me up when it's all over.

[–]Beryl 9 insightful - 4 fun9 insightful - 3 fun10 insightful - 4 fun -  (3 children)

Wait, people were upset that you didn't have a cool chosen name like "Flyx" and just went with your normal nickname??

[–]SilverWolf 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Could be that, or they were disappointed she gave them pronouns that showed she's cis, and therefore not really one of them.

[–]jay-dayGold Star Gay Woman[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

When the woman asked for any names I go by I got confused because my full name, nickname in "" and last name were on the zoom call. So I just said my nickname again and she said "OK, but any other names?" And I said "no?". They looked all confused lol. It took me late in the meeting to figure out why she was asking lol. I knew about pronouns thing but I haven't heard much about the chosen name stuff.

[–]HelloMomo 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I go by an androgynous nickname. At my university, when I explain it's just a shortened form of my given name, and that calling me by my given name is totally fine too, people often seem a bit surprised.

I hate it, but I do get it. A young woman in her early 20s, who may or may not ping your gaydar a little bit, and who's going by an androgynous nickname? To assume it's some NB shtick is a bit personally offensive (or maybe exhausting is a better word for it), but it's certainly not not demographically unreasonable.

[–]chazzstrong 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Annoying at times, but they aren’t awful people.

Just let them catch a whiff of you not being 100% TRA, or that you think the LGB should be separate of the TQ+, and I guarantee that will change.

[–]jay-dayGold Star Gay Woman[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

If I had to guess, I'd say the 30-year-old and possibly the NB gay man would freak out. I'm not 100% sure on the NB gay man's because he seems to want please everyone. We'll see what happens, can't rule out anything.

[–]JulienMayfair 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Many campus groups have been completely taken over by the TQ+ for some time. My alma mater used to have a Gay & Lesbian Resources Office. Now it has a Center for Gender and Sexual Diversity or something like that. All its programming is targeted to trans, and its new director is a trans man.

LGB people are going to have to reinvent resources for ourselves unless we simply want to be burdened with doing emotional support work for trans people.

[–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I’m surprised that this much wokeness is even here where I live. My state has been largely unaffected by the gender wars.

I think they're just underrepresented in some places. Like how other areas overrepresent the woke. And colleges in general are usually the exception to the dominant regional culture that isn't, anyway.

When I just said she/her and a shortened form of my name because it's a longer name, the group went quiet. I broke the silence with a heterophobic joke and talked about my previous work.

No offense, but imagining this awkward scene playing out made me lol 😂

NB chick then talked about how her father doesn't like trans people, which she doesn't get why because he let her do boy activities when she was young.

Probably because doing traditionally "boy" activities not anything as controversial or objectionable as identifying as the other sex.

The NBs struggles are just their parents not getting it.

Unfortunately for them, no one truly gets it. Everyone's just playing along.

Thanks for your summary. Hope to hear more about your experiences with this group.

[–]jay-dayGold Star Gay Woman[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Probably because doing traditionally "boy" activities not anything as controversial or objectionable as identifying as the other sex.

She said her father had her do the "boy activities" because she was more physically capable than her brothers. Which yeah, you sometimes need help with work. Does she think her father thought "well she's a female so I can't have her mow the lawn...maybe she's not really a woman after all." Most of the time people are willing to give jobs to a healthy, and able person regardless of sex. But no, she skipped all of that and went to surgeries because women=weak. The sexism, the misogyny.

Turns out she isn't younger than me, she's two years older than me. Will update that info.