Do you treat women who you find out are lesbians differently?

submitted by RedditHatesLesbians from self.Lesbians

Or does it not make a difference in your social interactions with them after the fact? Think women who are "straight-passing" who you didn't immediately clock.

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[–]BonesReds 25 insightful - 6 fun25 insightful - 5 fun26 insightful - 6 fun -  (1 child)

Definitely. When I meet a (sane) lesbian, I immediately relax and feel more comfortable around her. I've met only a few other lesbians in real life and every time I figure out they're lesbians, we just click and it's like we've known each other forever.

Hence why I'm on this sub!

[–]hatsofpotato 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

"Sane" being the keyword, here ;)

[–][deleted] 20 insightful - 2 fun20 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Yes! It makes me happy because it's so rare to find other lesbians where I am. I like to try to at least be on friendly terms. Moreso than I do with straight women anyway.

[–]oofreesouloo 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Yes, I do. I immediately feel a "pressure" to "impress" that otherwise, if I thought they were straight, I didn't have because it would be impossible for them to reciprocate feelings either way. This is very common to happen to me as I'm a femme attracted to other femmes ("straight passing" lesbians). I just don't want to mess it up LOL (obviously, this only happens if I'm attracted to the woman. If I'm not, it's more chill)

[–]VioletRemi 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I am feeling and acting very similar, ha ha. And in general I am feeling pretty happy that I am not alone.

I am touching them much less than straight girls, until we are close enough, tho. I feel that by doing that (touching) I am somehow attacking their privacy, as we both know it has sexual context. As I am very often hugging straight girls, but not in sexual way (as I am hugging them not around waist, like I do with lesbians).

[–]Ricky_Ticky 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

So as long as you find out the girl is a lesbian, you hug her around waist? :):)

[–]VioletRemi 6 insightful - 5 fun6 insightful - 4 fun7 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Yes, but only after I am more comfortable around her and we know each other a bit more :)

[–]ShotTopic 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I feel way more kinship with other lesbians. I'm generally a pretty quiet and shy person, but I'll open up if I suspect a stranger might be gay. Way more helpful and friendly with them.

Back in my old retail job days in college, helping a lesbian couple pick out stuff for their house (hardware store) always brightened my day.

I feel safer around other lesbians and am more protective of them, they're my tribe even if they're a stranger. For example, one time a woman who pinged my gaydar got off the bus at the same stop as me. She and two men got off via the front door, I used the back door. I was keeping an eye on her the whole way we walked just on the off chance she might need help or protection. (The dudes got really close to her, but they ended up just walking faster and went around her).

It's not that I wouldn't help "straight-passing" women, but I'm just more aware of women who seem like they're my people. Otherwise I tend to kinda zone out and be lost in my head, listening to earbuds or something.

[–]MissKing2you 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Same 🙂

[–]BigMommyMilkers 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Definitely, I automatically see them as a bro since there's so few of us.

[–]Ricky_Ticky 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't treat them differently but I feel a bit awkward around them. It's hard to explain this feeling. It's like we got something big in common but it's not something that can necessarily turn us into friends

[–][deleted] 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Not really?

I used to get very excited and try to impress them. With time I’ve learned that, sometimes, all you have in common with other lesbians is just that... lesbianism.

[–]spirette 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

yep. I've been to a lot of events and parties that were either lesbian or at the least LGB and I can't say, now that I've been around the block, that I relate to lesbians better than I would straight women. I mean, sure, they will know what it's like to be a minority and to want to see yourself represented (although I've met plenty of lesbians who didn't care one bit about movies/books/tv show about lesbians - so odd) but that's about it. I wish it was the case and that I could have tons of lesbians friends. Alas. It is what it is.

[–]whateverman 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I am more immediately at ease with my lesbian friends than anyone else because they just get it.

[–]WildwoodFlower 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The lesbians I know are all married to each other. I think I am more conscious about giving each person within these pairings an equal amount of attention, as well as a similar type of attention. I don't want to get too friendly with one half of a couple (Person A) without being similarly friendly to the other half (Person B), or else they might think I am flirting with Person A.

[–][deleted] 7 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Not really, I tend to treat everyone the same. There are a few exceptions, you have to be super special to be on the list of 5 people I’ll answer the phone for.

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yes, a bit, because I really want more lesbian friends, sadly I have only one plus a few acquaintances, so I give more chances and make more of an effort to click with them.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 4 fun3 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

maybe. if they're attractive i tend to be a bit more polite due to being a loser that wants a gf. if i'm not interested then i'll treat her more or less the same. generally if i find out someone belongs to a group of people that typically isn't comfortable with a type of humor i like i might cool it with certain jokes i like to make with friends, it depends.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

No lol. If anything it worries me in the sense that so many people will want you two to be together because you're both lesbians. It's funny though.