Are you child-free?

submitted by RedditHatesLesbians from self.Lesbians

Just wondering. Personally I've never wanted children, and I think being a lesbian is the best thing to happen in that respect. I'll never have to worry about accidental pregnancy for obvious reasons. I don't want kids for many reasons, but the main one is that I just don't envision my life like that. I want to have more financial and personal freedom than having kids would ever allow and I'm basically raising my siblings at the moment (who are 8 & 10) and have done since I was much younger, so I don't ever want to repeat that experience.

What about you? Do you want children?

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[–]plotbunny 15 insightful - 4 fun15 insightful - 3 fun16 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

No kids. I'll be happy to be the cool lesbian aunt.

[–]Gearbeta 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'll be part of the minority here and say I would love to have kids.

[–]beereadit 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I do as well, building a family is one of my dreams.

[–]florasis 9 insightful - 8 fun9 insightful - 7 fun10 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

I would prefer dead over children. So child-free, I guess :D

[–][deleted] 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Child free. Willing to babysit or be a cool aunt. My gf and I have lifestyles that are “too selfish” in a sense, so we rather not throw a child in the mix.

I love kids enough to know that I wouldn’t provide them with the attention and care they deserve.

[–]xv_xx 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Neither I nor my gf want children. We both have our own reasons -- personally, it's because I don't see myself as a mother, I think there are too many humans on earth as it is, I like my life the way it is now, my future goals are incompatible with having kids. And this might sound shallow, but I dread the changes my body would experience if I were to go through pregnancy.

But I don't dislike kids. I'm the youngest of four siblings. My two brothers and sister all have kids. I have three nephews and four nieces whom I adore. It's been killing me that I haven't been able to visit them since the pandemic started, and it will be months probably before I get to see them. It really breaks my heart, they are such an important part of my life. But I just don't want kids of my own.

[–]oofreesouloo 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I personally would like to have a family. But for that to happen I needed to have a gf 🤣 a very stable relationship 😅 known each other and being with each other for a couple of years 😅 being both financially stable and having enough free time to raise properly kids. SoooOOoooo.. I'm not very hopeful lel. But who knows.

[–][deleted] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Kids are cute and funny and all but I've done enough babysitting throughout my entire life to know I don't want any of my own. Pregnancy has also always kind of freaked me out too.

[–]yousaythosethings 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I can definitely relate. Pregnancy has always freaked me out. I feel bad because it’s among the most natural things there is, and I certainly don’t regard pregnant women negatively, but I personally cannot imagine being pregnant and have no desire to experience it.

[–]sunzzy 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I absolutely want kids one day. It seems like I'm in the minority here but I actually hope I have a really big family when I'm older.

[–]VioletRemi 7 insightful - 4 fun7 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 4 fun -  (2 children)

I don't really care, - if my future wife will want kids, I am fine with that, if she do not want or she don't care, then me neither. I am more leaning to not having kids, tho.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[removed]

    [–]Innisfree 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

    I've always thought that if I were to have kids it would only be either through adoption or fostering. Having to raise a brood of cousins since I was ten might have sth to do with this.

    In the early '90s the stuff that went on in some soviet orphanages came to light and it was so horrible... Most of the kids were late in their development, those institutions were engaged in mass production of disability. Thankfully a lot of effort went into remedying that and most are gone now. Maybe some day I'll be well off enough to be able to foster, like many people I know.

    [–]les4les 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    This is how I feel too. I think I would feel better taking in a child that needs a home than I would feel about paying lots of money or going through lots of hassle for a biological child. I guess it'll depend on money and my wife, if I get to that point haha.

    [–]Innisfree 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Yes, best of luck to all of us currently focusing on finding the money and the wife :)

    [–][deleted] 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

    Sometimes I want one. I think it would depend on the woman I'm with if she wanted one or not. I can go either or. Just not now lol

    [–][deleted] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    I’m child free. It’s not that I don’t like kids in small doses, I just don’t want any of my own. The closest thing we had to a kid was when my wife’s nephew moved in with us. He was 17 at the time and he made it about a year before I grabbed him by the back of the head and forcefully signed him up for the army.

    [–]MyLongestJourney 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Child free.Never wanted children.

    [–]spirette 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Childfree forever. Pregnancy has always horrified me even from a small age and I don't like being around children. I've never experienced this "baby fever" some women talk about. I wonder if it's even real or if it's just a rationalization they come up with when it should just be called brainwashing. In any case, no kids. Couldn't be happier with that choice.

    [–][deleted] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    I don't want any. Taking care of myself presents enough of a financial challenge. Even if I were rich, the idea of raising kids just doesn't appeal to me. I also like a quiet household.

    [–]knownasness 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    no. if there was a way that i could know my kid would be JUST like me, then i'd reconsider it, but there isn't.. so no. i wouldn't be able to tolerate a child that isn't independent and quiet like i was/am. i would resent them and that's super shitty, because of course, they did not ask to be born. it sucks though because i love 'family' things.. amusement parks, board games, animated movies, etc.. my brother does a decent job of including me and i'm grateful but sometimes i wish i had my own family to do these things with, yanno?

    [–]sootsprite 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    At least you're self-aware. I definitely think that accepting that your child may grow up to be different from how you are, or how you'd like them to be, is part of being a good parent.

    [–]yousaythosethings 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    I’m not officially child-free but I am in my 30s at this point and still can’t picture a future involving kids. I know that I never want to be pregnant.

    If I had a partner who I could picture having a a family with, then I would be open to having a family with her. But I certainly do enjoy the perks and freedom of not having kids.

    [–]FrostyNugs 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Yeah. I only like kids when I can hand them back to their caretaker when they get on my nerves. Also, being able to laugh without pissing myself is pretty neat and I'd rather not give it up.

    [–]lmaonope333 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    I'm only 19 but I definitely knew since I was around 10 that I dont want to give birth. I have many younger siblings and i witnessed my mothers pregnancies seemed like total hell. I might adopt a child one day, I might not.

    [–]endlesssummer 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    I've always wanted children! Not for another few years though

    [–]Seahorse 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    On the fence about it, mostly because I like my space and once you've had a kid, you're not getting space for a long time.

    A cat is enough at the moment!

    [–]Aurelius 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    I have one 10 yr old girl, she's very sweet but a lot of lesbians made it clear they aren't interested in children.

    [–]optimistic_dyke 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    I have no idea what the future holds since I'm pretty young, but since I have some health issues(EDS) I think it wouldn't be very wise and would put a lot of burden onto my future wife/gf's back. So yep, child-free.

    [–]disheveledtomboy 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    I don't have kids. In my 20s and most of my 30s I was pretty firm about not having children. It's not because I hated kids, but more of a feeling of being too hard for the job. Mothers always seemed more soft and yielding. I grew up with a mother who was none of those things, and I don't want to raise a kid like that. I still would not raise a kid by myself. I have zero interest in the first hand experience of bearing children, but if I met a woman who brings to the table qualities I lack, she wanted children, and I absolutely just won't do without her, I would consider it. Just because I'm mostly deaf to my own biological clock/zero maternal instincts doesn't mean she would be. I'm in my early forties, still haven't found the one and the parenthood window is fast closing on me anyway so...meh.

    [–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    I have never wanted children because I just don't like babies and small children who are too dependent. I'm not a big fan of pets either for that reason.

    I also grew up taking care of my sister since my parents were always working, so I kinda feel like I've already raised a kid.

    [–]whateverman 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Dinks. Wanted children, but we've decided against it. Maybe we'll foster someday.

    [–]sootsprite 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    I don't particularly like being around children and I don't want to have any, ever. I've always hated the thought of being pregnant and giving birth, but it's not the biggest reason. I just hate the thought of being responsible for another person in that way. I want to live my life for myself, at least in first hand. I agree that being a lesbian is a perk in the that regard!

    [–]LesbiSilly 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

    I debate adopting 1 teen son when married. But no, never going to have any.

    [–]sootsprite 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    Why a teen son specifically?

    [–]LesbiSilly 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Because I want to help young teen boys to have a loving home and I feel like they need just as much care as a girl. I just know that teens tend to get left behind in the system and I always have just seen myself with a son. Donno why, but that's the future I see.