For the women who aren't interested in anything oral, like nothing about it, how do you deal with that in a relationship?

submitted by Freetochoose from self.Lesbians

I'm not interested in oral . No matter how many times I've done it, the results are the same. It is the only part of a woman's body, well, her anus as well, where I do not want my mouth to venture. And honestly, sometimes I'll say to myself, why does anyone want their mouth in those regions. It is literally a place where waste is expelled. And sometimes I don't get it. Objectively, it doesn't taste good, and it's just buried down there.

How do you cope?

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[–][deleted] 32 insightful - 1 fun32 insightful - 0 fun33 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Objectively, it doesn't taste good

I mean.... this depends on the woman. In any case, there is no need to force yourself into sex acts you're not comfortable with.

Some women prefer giving, some prefer recieveing, and some women are just not into oral period. Finding out sexual compatibility, like most parts in any relationship, all comes down to communicating wants and needs. This might be a dealbreaker for some but that's okay. Are you in a relationship right now where this is disinterest in oral is interfering with your intimacy? Have you tried talking about it with her?

[–]Jillyjanejan 27 insightful - 1 fun27 insightful - 0 fun28 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The only way to deal with it is find someone else who feels the same.

[–]TalerTest 21 insightful - 4 fun21 insightful - 3 fun22 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

what do you mean "it's just buried down there." Buried down where? It's just between the legs, am I missing something haha

[–]Lizzythelezzo 22 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I used to think I wouldn't like oral sex before fully coming to terms with being attracted to women, but I found if I dated someone I was genuinely attracted to, I really craved giving it. So I guess it's one of those things for me that seems weird in the abstract but in the right context, is very appealing.

That said, I would have no issue dating a woman who didn't want to give oral, as long as she was flexible and open minded to other ways of pleasuring one another. I'm not really attached to any particular sexual activity as an absolute must - it's more about whether the overall experience feels pleasurable and there's a great connection.

[–]Rubyredpython 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Same

[–]Bananamoney 11 insightful - 11 fun11 insightful - 10 fun12 insightful - 11 fun -  (4 children)

Jesus fucking Christ, learn it or be an asexual.

[–]Freetochoose[S] 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

Blah blah blah, next.

[–]TalerTest 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Hey you're alive! You never answered my question. I'm still waiting to know what you meant.

[–]Freetochoose[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Haha, I am indeed among the living! "Buried down there" as in it is nestled, squished between the thighs. Does my word usage make any sense now?

[–]TalerTest 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I guess so, but I can't picture that being an obstacle unless the woman is really overweight perhaps.

[–]spirette 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (8 children)

Well this is the ultimate proof this forum is infested with everybody but lesbians. Not interested in oral sex? wtf

What lesbian doesn't like pussy? If you don't, you are either asexual or you're straight/bi. Which is the same thing ultimately. I'm out.

[–]Jillyjanejan 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

There's no need to have a meltdown when you discover that other lesbians enjoy different sexual acts from you. Be an adult. It's disappointing because I liked your comments here and on r/TL. Now you just look like a another unhinged flake on the internet.

[–]spirette 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Ad hominem right away. "meltdown" and "flake" And patronizing on top of it.

I've been coming here less and less and there is a reason: I have been noticing comments that sound like they were not written by lesbians, let alone women. Not liking pussy is extra weird to me as a lesbian. If a woman told me she didn't like giving/receiving I'd take it as a red flag. I could maybe understand not liking to receive because of trauma, but the OP didn't talk about trauma at all. Red flag. And I would be right because women who don't like oral are straight. Or asexual. But if you are asexual, you shouldn't be looking for a romantic relationships because these include sex. I shouldn't have to explain this.

[–]ShotsFired 11 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

How does not liking giving/receiving oral = not liking sex?

[–]Jillyjanejan 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

🙄 I thought you were smarter than this. My bad.

[–]Seahorse 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'm with you.

This saidit TL isnt the same as the old Reddit one, a lot of hostility and odd behaviour.

[–]Seahorse 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I know right?

Also it's fine if it she doesn't wish to do it but the OP's description is a bit much really.

[–]Freetochoose[S] 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Buh bye.

[–]SailorMoon2020 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Hmm hmm, the most that I can relate is not being interested in giving. I do not mind recieving. However, as horrible as it is for me to suggest this given my situation, but maybe you should watch porn and/or read erotica

What are you doing to make up for your lack of performing oral sex? What else can you put on the table for dinner?

There's tribbing, there's strap on sex...maybe she's into bandage whether light or hardcore? Does she liked being call names-maybe she likes being slapped or chocked, having her hair pull? What role playing, public, etc. In other words, there's a lot of possibilities that can be done if you're willing to explore and think outside the box. You'll be surprised at how many women want to try so many things outside the norm but are too afraid of being judged.

[–]Happy_face_caller 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (9 children)

Why the fuck is this post on a Lesbian sub?

[–]piylot 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

It's come up in conversation before, we're a diverse group of people. I enjoy it but some people don't and are still exclusively attracted to women.

[–]Happy_face_caller 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

So this sub is no longer true lesbian mods?

It’s bihets are us? Why is this post still up?

[–]piylot 18 insightful - 2 fun18 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

Not sure if you're interested in considering the perspective of those you've just labelled "bihets", but if you are, some things to consider- [warning I'm going to give non-lesbian examples/comparisons]

If a man was exclusively attracted to women, had no attraction to men, enjoyed lots of sex acts with women but didn't enjoy giving oral, what is his sexual orientation?

What about a woman who's really into men, not at all into women, loves p*nis but not in her mouth. Is she not straight?

And some surveys show oral is a lot more common now than it was say 50 years ago. It's a lot to expect someone sexual orientation to be contingent on enjoying oral when for a lot of people that hasn't been expected.

Often for lesbians, oral is seen as more of a cornerstone of sex compared to heteros, and previous threads have shown the majority would at the least be heavily disappointed if their partner wasn't into it. But some people just aren't, and what are they to do, other than force themselves to endure a sex act they find unpleasant? Report the post if you feel it's harmful to be up, but for me I think it's more harmful to suggest that you need to force yourself to perform sexual acts you know you don't like, or that not enjoying them discredits your attraction to women.

[–]TalerTest 8 insightful - 4 fun8 insightful - 3 fun9 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

you are taking happy_face_caller way too seriously. You aren't going to change her, she's just that way. Trust me

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