rant.

submitted by asparagus1 from self.Lesbians

I literally couldn't care less about the politics of anything lgb or t. I am forced to care because I don't want to be lonely forever. I don't care if people want to be trans, just leave me out of your life. Who cares? Why do they need to attack others to be "accepted" or whatever? what is even the goal? Why is it impossible to simply just find other - actual lesbians, who want a real relationship, not straight girls pretending to be queer for attention, not men pretending to be women, or anything else. I do not care if people want to do any of those things, I just find it impossible to find one single space anywhere where I can actually meet other lesbians. Why is this so difficult? Why can't we have this one thing that straight people already have every time they step outside the door? When I was considering coming out, people constantly told me total bullshit like "it gets better, everyone will accept you, blah blah. " No, none of that was true and coming out was a huge mistake for me.

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[–]plenty_water 27 insightful - 2 fun27 insightful - 1 fun28 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I'm pretty sure everyone here feels the same. Lesbians were already extremely hard to come by organically. Even before all of this bullshit, I felt pretty alone as a homosexual woman (prior to about 2015). Then around 2015 all of this insanity became mainstream, and it has really obfuscated not just the meaning of "lesbian", but the presence of lesbians themselves. Now theres queer, pansexual, non-binary, males in dresses claiming to be lesbian women, and a thousand other terms that have flooded and overwhelmed the centrality of simply being a homosexual. Anyways, we had a good place, /r/truelesbians that was very active and positive. And now it's this, a dead shell of what it once was. If it is any consolation, all of us probably feel the same as you. We are just normal people who happen to be homosexuals, and have no interest in making the broader gay culture a part of our identity.

[–]weirdlyhaunted 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Exactly this. I wish I knew what it used to be like--I only finally accepted my sexuality around 2015, and was miserable thinking I was a broken straight girl before that. I just want to be. Why is it so difficult for others to allow that?

[–]WildwoodFlower 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I hear you! The whole "it gets better" thing is true in terms of how straight people treat us compared to what it was like 30 or 40 years ago (I'm old.). But our own "community"? Not so much. We can't even have a freakin' Internet forum on a mainstream platform because of trans feels.

[–]asparagus1[S] 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

this is only true in certain parts of western countries. The rest of the world and the more conservative parts of western countries are still deeply homophobic. People don't realize that just because they "won" gay marriage that didn't actually change people's attitudes toward gay people- especially religious people. Where I am I can't get a break between the religious homophobia and the woke homophobia, there is no escape. this is why I regret coming out because I thought I would find a home outside of my religious community and it turned out to be a lie, and I even prefer the homophobia of the religious over the woke homophobes.

[–]Athelhilda2 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Where are you from, out of curiosity?

[–]Lavenderfemme 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think everyone here feels this way. I certainly do. I’m 22 now but when I was younger I looked forward to growing up so I could meet people like me but the truth is there are so few communities of people like me. And the only people that even know this is going on are lesbians, and no one else cares. It’s very lonely and I’m so nostalgic for the accepting, vibrant community I thought as a kid that I would one day have.

[–]oofreesouloo 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Omg.... I just posted like 30 minutes ago a rant on LGBDropTheT before even realizing this one here and this is very similar to mine... This is scary lmao. I feel you so much.

EDIT: I'm seeing the comments and just wow. It seems like this isn't a "me" feeling. It's a common feeling among lesbians. So sad.

[–]Aurelius 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

35 here, I've honestly given up and alleviate the loneliness by painting, music, cooking and Buddhism + meditation. Mostly anyways... I check online social places like this from time to time but don't think I'll feel welcome or wanted anywhere.

I'm sorry that is a painful time, just keep holding on.

[–]Athelhilda2 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Same. Trying to figure out one's sexuality in this environment is especially difficult.