https://youtu.be/oDOctX2OwoY
So you've figured out what's going on and what's happening to you and the people around you. For some people, this part isn't going to be very long at all. Others though Blue Pillers, Sheep etc this can be a serious mental and emotional shock. There may well have to be a period of getting yourself and your feelings settled down. It's OK if you need to do this and it's also ok to take the time you need to process what's happened. You also need to keep in mind that this is YOUR personal experience and the expectations of others don't really count here, especially if they're trying to shame you in some way
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there doesn't seem to be anything here