all 27 comments

[–]Greykittymomma 8 insightful - 4 fun8 insightful - 3 fun9 insightful - 4 fun -  (17 children)

What a dirty whore 😂 hope her husband finds out and kicks her ass to the curb.

[–]Musky 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (13 children)

Didn't think you'd approve, but it's not totally cut and dry.

I (41F) have asked my husband(42) of 22 years to explore open marriage. We are each other’s first and only. I want to explore and experience something/someone new. This might be a mono/ poly thing as my husband is less interested in being with another woman as I am in being with another man. I have already started talking to a guy. I need some sex advice. I have only been with one man and I know what he likes. I don’t want to embarrass myself with this new guy. I would appreciate a guy’s perspective

The SO agreed to an open marriage, but she didn't stop after he revoked his consent.

Originally we ( I am 40F and SO is 42M) agreed to try an open marriage. It was agreed that I would be the only one engaging and playing, as my SO was not interested in anyone else. I met someone(MM43) and hit it off, had sex. It was great. Now SO is telling me it can only be a one time thing. I can't see him anymore, and wants to close up. So now I'm debating do I continue with this guy and cheat or try to convince SO to stay open and find someone too.

She says she's just staying for the kids cause she doesn't love her SO anymore.

Went grocery shopping with SO today. As I looked around the store at all the couples and families I wonder how many of them are in similar situations. I have come to realize I’m not in love with SO, I care about him but don’t love him. I know I really shouldn’t complain. We have a good life. But I’m stuck with him

[–]RedEyedWarrior 6 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 3 fun -  (5 children)

What a heartless bitch. If she really doesn't want her husband anymore, she should divorce him, let him keep the house, decline alimony and let the husband pick the day of the week in which the kids move between his house and her apartment. But I won't be giving her that advice - if I knew the couple I'd tell the husband and help him get the divorce. That way he is less likely to get screwed over by the family courts.

Unfortunately, it's unlikely to end well for the husband. Even if the kids stick with him, there is still a chance he might lose the house and be forced to pay alimony if he lives in America. And if that happens, it could be for life. Because what man in his right mind would want to marry a woman who cheats on her husband?

[–]Musky 5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 3 fun -  (4 children)

What a heartless bitch

It's pretty common when you only ever have one partner to wonder how the grass is on the other side. Most (straight) guys seem to think they want a virginal bride. You really don't because this is what happens years down the road. And then when they get that new guy, there's that "new relationship energy" (r/adultery terminology) -- the new guy seems perfect, and the old guy seems shitty in comparison. At first. It's all new to her.

She's not going to leave her SO, her AP (affair partner) wants them to be together and she's not interested. That's a common theme in that sub. The whole thing is probably going to self destruct eventually since the only person getting what they want is her. It's all fun and games when you get to have your cake and eat it too.

She's probably just going to fuck up things with both guys and end up a middle aged woman with a history of cheating. She's going to be at a disadvantage. Hopefully the courts don't fuck the husband over.

[–]RedEyedWarrior 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I'm not a straight guy, so I wouldn't know. I assume that straight guys who want virgins think that if a married woman has only had experience with her husband she won't know any better. And yes, a lot of women who were virgins when they got married are loyal wives. But everybody is different. And frankly, we used to have laws that made adultery a crime - or at least a ground for divorce - so marrying a woman wasn't an issue. If you do marry a virgin, be prepared to nip it right in the bud should your spouse get curious about greener pastures.

[–]Musky 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I assume that straight guys who want virgins think that if a married woman has only had experience with her husband she won't know any better

I think it's more some guys don't want a hill someone else has planted their flag on.

And yes, a lot of women who were virgins when they got married are loyal wives.

Sure, but they're always going to wonder what it'd be like with someone else.

If you do marry a virgin, be prepared to nip it right in the bud should your spouse get curious about greener pastures.

So 22 years down the road when the curiosity becomes unbearable to her and a slump in the relationship brings things to a head and she says, gee, Red, I just want to know if I'm missing out. Do you love your exclusive claim to her more than her happiness?

Much better if she's already had a few loser boyfriends so you look really awesome in comparison and she knows there's nothing she's missing out on.

[–]Rastafoo[S] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I really hope no one takes Musky seriously lmao

[–]Musky 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

What do you think I'm wrong about?

[–]jet199 6 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

Open relationships are a poisoned cup.

I don't know one which has lasted with 2 happy people in it.

Someone asking for one should be grounds for immediate marriage counselling and an IQ test.

[–]Musky 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

They're a terrible deal for the guy. r/polyamory is full of stories of people who opened up their marriages with the guy expecting to be banging a dozen different women, and he ends up sitting at home alone listening to guys plow his wife in their bedroom.

immediate marriage counselling

I use Edward for my marriage counseling.

[–]jet199 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I have no sympathy for those men.

[–]Greykittymomma 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

One word: Divorce.

Fuck her she OBVIOUSLY pressured him into it because she isn't into him anymore.

Dumb bitch needs to be honest with HERSELF FIRST.

[–]Musky 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

I think he should just take his wife up on her offer to help get him someone. He revoked his consent to her extramarital activities and her not honoring it ain't great, but think if the context was anything else. Say the husband agreed the wife could go to some expensive class she was interested in, she really enjoyed it, and then the husband said no more after the first time. I think in that case people would tell the husband to go take a hike.

She might not particularly enjoy being on the other end of it, they fight, understanding ensues, the marriage is rekindled. Or it messes things up even more, but if you're planning on ending things anyways, why not try something different.

People throw away people they claim they love far too readily.

[–]Greykittymomma 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

LOL taking a class and "getting ass" isn't even remotely the same. Hard pass...

Usually one partner wants this shit and the other goes along to please them until they realize how selfish and fucked up it actually is when it happens.

Dude is an idiot for agreeing but clearly she needs more dick and if he didn't jump at the chance for a side piece right away he clearly isn't interested.

[–]Musky 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

LOL taking a class and "getting ass" isn't even remotely the same

That's the point of that particular thought experiment. Nobody would think anything about her going against his revoked consent in most cases, except for it being another dude in this circumstance. Regardless of what it is, giving up something you found you enjoyed is difficult, and in most cases people wouldn't even expect her to.

Dude is an idiot for agreeing

Probably. Although not agreeing to let his wife sleep around wouldn't have fixed the issue that she wanted to in the first place.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

[removed]

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

      [–]troublemaker 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

      There is really no difference.

      One is an outtie, the other an innie.

      Dont be stupid.

      Ok, horror movie break..

      My favorite movie, Vlad the impaling impaler

      https://youtu.be/rBhx5HFO6N4

      [–]Rastafoo[S] 7 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

      Why is it, if a man infects a woman with an STD its sexual assault. But if a woman infects a man, she's gets to straight up hide it?

      [–]EternalSunset 8 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

      Because modern western man are pussy whipped and brainwashed with feminism.

      [–]RedEyedWarrior 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

      Yep.

      [–]Musky 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

      I had no idea there's a sub dedicated to hating r/adultery.

      There's two kinds of people in r/adultery, those who graduated from r/deadbedrooms -- that I understand. If the SO isn't interested in sex anymore, you can love them and not want to leave that person, and yet still want to get laid.

      The other type of person just cheats for the fuck of it. I was banned from r/adultery for shitting on those guys.

      Original thread: https://old.reddit.com/r/adultery/comments/zeh8xy/i_just_found_out_i_have_hpv/

      [–]RedEyedWarrior 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

      Adultery should be a ground for divorce. The adulterer should also not be allowed to receive alimony (not that adultery should be allowed anyway).

      [–]jet199 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

      This is why I'm against no fault divorce.

      Very often a cheating partner will claim just to have grown apart or say "it's not you it's me" and then be found to have been screwing around and have another option lined up after the innocent party has kindly agreed to good terms.

      [–]RedEyedWarrior 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

      No fault divorce should not be allowed. If there is no problem with your spouse, then why would you want a divorce? Divorce should be allowed in cases of adultery, violence, financial abuse, distance, incompatible sexual orientation, gambling/alcoholism/drug use or serious irreconcilable differences. I do not agree with no fault divorce because it allows a guilty spouse to pretend that he or she has done nothing wrong, and it also allows a spouse to divorce just because he or she thinks he or she can get a better spouse.

      [–]SeethingPeasant 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

      Redditors should be quarantined from society and moved to Cali, any rights or policies they advocated infringing on should be completely removed from them so they can see the consequences of their stupidity, hence why we should move them to Cali.... Or Venezuela.

      [–]RedEyedWarrior 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

      I'd advocate making the Bay Area a state in its own right and then forcibly moving redditors to that state.