My husband had a stroke (CVA) on Easter Sunday and in a group on Facebook I was stressing out, venting (the group is gone now) and someone said "Make a gofundme! I'll donate!" So I spend over an hour figuring out GoFundMe and making a post and trying to make it sound like my wheels weren't spinning... I waisted time I could have spent calling other people making that thing and the person who said they would donate? Blocked me. I figure, ya know, since I already made it I might as well share it. My little brother sends enough to make it go public. and it does okay. Then it just. It stops.
I spend every night till 4-5am posting it, reposting it, retweeting, adding details. I updated the story on it. Friends I had for YEARS refuse to share it. They block me. New friends help me share it, donate 20 bucks here and there... But here's the thing.
Every day I hear "Just go to work" "just work at home" I CAN'T. I have three kids I am caring for while being the SOLE caregiver for my husband and not receiving any help from the state except SNAP. I am too busy at home to work at home. I have a broken computer, shitty internet I cannot afford to pay... No sound proofing and did I mention kids? They are loud. distracting. Then I have my husband. The state will not let me be his caregiver because we are married. I do everything for him. Help him get dressed, walk to the bathroom, help him shower, make him food, sort his meds... I do. Everything.
I have no support system where I am. we moved because my husband got this AMAZING job. the job went bankrupt with COVID. laid everyone off. Never recovered. I started to work. I had a good job. A job i loved. A job working with victims of Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault. We were okay. --Enter the stroke. Left my job. and now I am in go mode all the time.
I put flyers up in my town. They were removed by spiteful assholes. I asked old coworkers whom i respected for help.. Nope. One friend said "well I guess you're stuck then" in response. I'm just fed up. I'm tired. I need a break. I dont WANT to spam my gofundme. I dont. But it is quite literally my income. my husband can barely care for himself.... He cannot care for the kids. he cannot drive. he cannot change a diaper, cook, stand for long periods, if i went to work and a tornado touched down again... THEY WOULD LITERALLY DIE. We live in a mobile home. A manufactured home. 2 miles from the emergency shelter. but if I have the car.... and since he cannot drive...