Jokes aside, being an asshole is an unintentional part of my personality at this point.

Maybe it's me but many of your "jokes" don't read as jokes. Add /s or /jk to be clear. Police and politicians don't make jokes because they're supposed to be respectable. You are the power on this site.

Be better than him.
Which is why I use real arguments.

Well...

so everyone knows what's allowed and what ain't: nudity is pretty much off the table. [...] I'm here to make sure he knows where not to go.

Common sense everyone already knows. Reminding people of the rules is not a light touch, and the tone is bossy where no boss is needed. It's like a cop swinging a night stick around your head saying that if you break any laws he can arrest you. Unnecessary intimidation, or rather, lame attempts/appearances of it.

so it ain't a big deal.

Unnecessary drama.

I also feel bad for unnecessarily budding my nose in too. But it really looks/ed like you need/ed some advice. Feel free to apply it liberally, or just ignore me, or something in between.