For clarity, I am now an adult.

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I used to be a blue-pilled white knight, but the earliest taste I got of the red pill was in fifth grade through a flash movie I found on Newgrounds.com, as well as a dream where I saved a pretty girl classmate from a severe injury and she just ran away.

Newgrounds

At age 11, I discovered the cartoon flash movie "Mario's Suicide Struggle" on Newgrounds.com. It shows how Peach, after saved by Mario, just dashes away with Wario with zero thankfulness for Mario, which lead to Mario trying to end himself. This was my earliest taste of the red/black pill.

Something in my then-11-year-old brain told me that this might actually be female nature, and as it turns out, my brain was not wrong.

Dream

Our school class had twice as many girls as boys, but most were average-looking. However, there was a pretty girl with long dark-blonde hair and feminine face. She also was an excellent swimmer, the way she spoke was feminine, and she was not anti-social. She was actually rather quiet in class, but she emitted kind of happiness and life-happiness (German word: "Lebensfreude") that is difficult to describe. This made me somewhat affectionate to her.

However, less than one month after watching the Newgrounds.com movie, I had a dream where our school class visited an indoor climbing hall. Aforementioned pretty girl was falling down and about to hit the ground. Then I caught her, which saved her from severe injury. We both fell to the ground but without injury. What happened next? She stood up and ran out the door. Zero thankfulness.

I was sad about this dream back then, but today I am thankful about this redpill that was auto-generated by my brain.

FaceAndLMS

At age 17, I discovered the FaceAndLMS YouTube channel, and it confirmed everything I already knew subconcisously.