How the Niggerinch Stole Gay Pride
By Dr. Sue-us
All the Gays down in Gayville liked Gay Pride a lot,
But the Niggerinch, who lived just south of Gayville, did not!
The Niggerinch hated Gay Pride, the whole Gay Pride movement.
Don’t ask him why; silence is an improvement.
It could be that his feathered pimp hat was too tight.
It could be that his purple suit didn’t fit right.
But we know the real reason for hating it all
Is that his dick was two sizes too small!
But whatever the reason, his mind always strays
To standing there Gay Pride Eve hating the Gays,
Standing down from his crib with a Niggerinchly frown
At the big rainbow flags draped below in their town.
For he knew every Gay down in Gayville would shove
A banner in his face that said “love is love.”
“An’ dey wearin’ dey ass chaps,” he snarled with a sneer.
“Tomorrah be Gay Prahd; it be practically heah!”
Then he growled with his Niggerinch fingers nervously drummin’,
“Ah must fahnda way t’stop Gay Prahd from comin’!”
For Tomorrow, he knew all the Gay girls and boys
Would tweak and then vogue as they use adult toys!
Then, those rump-loving riffraff would bring in the Noise!
That’s one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then the Gays young and old will all dance on those floats!
All the floats, all the floats, whose designer just gloats
About floats with cute go-go boys sowing their oats,
A thought that gives the mean old Niggerinch the bloats!
And then, they’d do something he liked least of all:
Every Gay down in Gayville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together with rainbow flags waving,
They’d stand hand-in-hand, and the Gays would start raving.
And the more the Niggerinch thought of this Gay Pride-ing,
The more that he thought “dey need head-upsidin’
Whah, fo’ fo’ty-fo’ yeahs, Ah’v put up wit’ it now.
Ah MUST stop dis Gay Prahd from comin’. Bu’HOW?”
The Niggerinch drew up a plan that was daft!
“Ah knows jes’ wut ta do!” The old Niggerinch laughed.
So he hung up his pimp suit and giant pimp hat,
Dressed just like a plumber, then buzzed his ‘fro flat
And turned into an MTF lesbian named Pat
With a pillow in his shirt as he tried to look fat
And two baseballs for bosoms without any bat.
And he chuckled and clucked, “What a great Niggerinchly trick!
By sayin’ I’se lezzie, ah’ll catch BOO-tay most thick!
All ah needs be a movement,” the Niggerinch started cussin’,
But he knew shakedown artists were a dime a dussin’.
Did that stop the Niggerinch? No! He just said,
“If’n ah cain’t finds a movement, Ah’ll starts one instead!”
So he called his lapdog Barack, then he let out a splatter
Of paint on a sign till it said “Black lives matter”
And another one saying “Trans women are women,”
His cup running over with bullshit a-brimmin’.
Then he quickly joined YouTube and went on the attack
With videos of him with his lapdog Barack
And said “vote fo’ Biden o’ else you ain’t Black”
To a ramshackle camera unfit for a hack
On a tripod so weak it went clickety-clack.
Then the Niggerinch claimed “muh pronouns be she ‘n’ her.”
And when he said “trans kids,” it started a stir,
‘Cause they’re not even waiting for pubes to occur!
The Niggerinch said, “dey be sufferin’ jenn-durr dis foria.
So gibs dem a sex change ‘n’ dey’ll feel jenn-durr you foria.”
Inside the Gays’ homes he broadcasted his hate
And beat Jeopardy! and Wheel from 7 to 8.
Some Gays felt quite guilty and less than enthused.
Such discrimination could not be excused.
So they gave into the Niggerinch,
And like the last season of Glee,
They changed it from “Gay” into LGBT!
But that still wasn’t enough, and someone said why,
“It needs to be longer, now it’s LGBTI!”
So the acronym kept growing with new letters added
All the way to the point where it looked rather padded
With stuff unrelated to same sex attraction,
Saying “Gays are outré” just to foment reaction.
Every Tom, Dick and Harry, they claim, is a Debra,
So eventually the letters went on beyond zebra.
Then Gay bars and Gay sex clubs all fell into line,
Saying trans taking over is perfectly fine.
Any Gays who objected were spit on and cursed at,
While told “being Gay is the thing you’re the worst at!”
Then Gays started fighting to take it all back,
To which the Niggerinch said, “y’all can kiss muh black crack!”
The Niggerinch beamed with a Niggerish glow;
As he said in his hatecast, “Ah told y’all so!
Y’all only attacked me fo’ de culluh o mah skin,
So Ah’ll whup yo’ white asses fo’ engagin’ in sin!”
He made up fake stories of racist attacks;
In truth, few had dared to correct him with facts
Until one day a real lesbian named Beverly Lou,
Whose pants size was a great deal higher than two,
Emailed the Niggerinch her point of view:
“Pat, Pat, why are you coopting woman’s spaces?
Why do you do this to all nations and races?
I’m a woman who loves women. You’re a man who is straight.”
Then the Niggerinch gaslit, “it be you who preach hate.”
“De Gay lahfstahl be hatin’ on folks who be trans,
But trans be mo’ in lahn wit’ Gawd‘s massa plans.
You says you like wimmin, but you ma’ht be bah,
So lahk green eggs ‘n’ ham, gibs muh girldick a trah!”
But the lie did not fool Bev, who stuck to her guns,
Saying “pussy is different from cock, balls, and buns,
And an inverted penis is not a vagina.
You’re digging so low that you’ll soon be in China!”
The Niggerinch said “you’s a transphobic TERF
And yo’ brains be as soft as a football bah Nerf.
Muh girldick be diff’rent; it be soft ‘n’ pliable,”
A claim that Ms. Bev found most unreliable.
The Niggerinch knew this was sick and perverted,
But he didn’t care how much the Gays would be hurted,
So he told Bev’s employer, and Bev lost her job,
Thus, she entered Gay Pride Month an unemployed slob
And all ‘cause she wouldn’t suck MTF knob.
Next, the trannies and NBs who cried “we’re offended”
Stalked Bev on social media and got her suspended.
No Facebook, no Twitter, no, not even Twitch,
Who all left up posts screeching “TERF,” “dyke,“ and “bitch,“
And “transphobe” and other such vile verbal scowling
Just like the invective thrown at J. K. Rowling.
But just to show whose power was that much bigger,
They removed all the posts calling Niggerinch “nigger.”
The Niggerinch said, with expressions most pensive,
“Dat be proof dat dem cisfags be racist an’ offensive.
Y’all might as well be in de damn Ku Klux Klan
If y’all only like sex wit’ anutha white man.”
The Niggerinch played the race card and played it to win;
Like Rain Man in Vegas, his ship had come in.
He amassed quite a fortune by saying it’s hate
To never desire a non-same-sex mate
Or give those who are trans an instant rejection.
Smart Gay people know that that’s all just projection.
And in order to see just how low he could go,
The Niggerinch soon launched his lowest low blow.
With tactics t’would turn Old Saint Nick to a cynic,
His ill-gotten gains built a Youth Gender Clinic
Where parents who fret that their son might be Gay
Because with a dolly he rather would play,
Can make him a str8 girl and trans Gay away,
And if their teen daughter says boys she don’t like,
They lop off her bosoms and make her name Mike
And call “him” a str8 guy instead of a dyke!
The Gays were perplexed, puzzled, shocked and alarmed
For future Gay generations sure to be harmed.
“We must make it a crime from here to Carolina
To turn a Gay men’s penis to a vagina,
Especially if that penis is well underage,”
They said with a most understandable rage!
Then while looking on Reddit, they found stories galore
Of trans who don’t want to be trans anymore.
The female ones permanently lowered their voices,
One of the more irreversible choices.
The male ones who turned from a Mort to a Myrtle
Regret that their actions have made them infertile.
They miss their breasts. They miss their phalluses.
The quacks who removed them now all live in palaces.
The Gays all felt angry and started to cuss,
“If we’d been born later, that might have been us!
Now we’ll go take our case all the way to the mayor
To ban ex-Gay therapy through surgery or prayer!”
But the Niggerinch got to the mayor’s office first
And spread a few bucks for a law that’s the worst:
A law that bans changing trans back into normal.
The mayor’s inked signature made it all formal.
He put up a trans flag in front of city hall
‘Til his receptionist couldn’t take each angry call
From each Gay down in Gayville, the tall and the small,
Who said “we don’t support this new law at all.
Trans IS conversion, it shouldn’t be done
If you’re a newborn or 101.
You’ve got to be taught
In every which way
To not get distraught
By the thought that you’re Gay.”
The Niggerinch’s crack dealer, who’s also a bassist,
Overheard it and told him.
He said, “dat be racist!
Trans wimmin o’culluh
Sho’ is gwine be killed!”
A lie, but it still made his listeners thrilled.
He lied like Pinocchio and then lied some more,
Saying Stonewall was started by some Black tranny whore!
But Marsha was a Gay Man. He said so himself.
He was no more a woman than a giant’s an elf!
The comments on YouTube refuted his lie,
But he just ignored them, responding “please dah.
De Bahbul sez y’all ain’t sposta be fags!”
And after this tirade, he attacked Gay Pride flags.
“Dem fag flags be bigotry and discrimination
‘Cuz dey need to acknowledge Black folx in dis nation,
And after wut crackaz did t’ muh bro George Floyd,
Y’all do as we say or y’all gwine be destroyed.”
So they printed new Pride flags with African stripes,
But the Gays didn’t like this and all cried out, “Yipes!
The old flag was nicer. To this we say no.”
The Niggerinch said, “den we’s changin’ it mo’!”
And then he revealed his most devious plans
To remake the Gay flag to include the trans.
“De ol’ one be as offensive as de Confederate flag.
It be tahm to redo it,” he continued to brag.
Finally, when the Niggerinch, that devious spade,
Arrived at the start of the Gay Pride parade,
Said Parade down in Gayville wasn’t Gay anymore.
This year, they ignored just what Gay Pride was for.
It wasn’t for drugs or promiscuous sex,
It wasn’t for biceps and deltoids to flex,
It wasn’t for divas with torch songs a-belting
Or drag queens so flaming their sequins are melting!
It was fighting against discrimination and hate
From those who berate us for not being str8
And treat same-sex attractions as character flaws
To be fixed by the doctors and banned by the laws.
Gays said of the Niggerinch, “He should be ashamed,
And for this new attack on us Gays he’ll be blamed.”
But sadly, Gays said it from out in the crowd
Because same sex attraction’s no longer allowed.
The floats now all said how Black Trans Lives Matter
With illogic that rivaled the maddest mad hatter.
The parade organizers bought the Niggerinch’s shit.
Why, they bought every hate-riddled curse word of it!
And when they were stricken with misplaced remorse,
Who’d they make the grand marshal? Why, the Niggerinch, of course!
They gave him a float with his head made of flowers
As he spewed homophobic invective for hours.
“Bein’ gay be transphobic,” the Niggerinch said.
“All you boys need to learn how to give trans men head
And whah Iran gives y’all a choice: turn trans o’ drop dead.
If a Gay man won’t turn to a straight girl, den dat
Gay man’ll get t’rown off a buildin’: Ker-SPLAT!
An’ whah duz dey make a wohmin from a ma-yun?
Because dey said dat’s wut be in de KO-rayun.”
“Fuck the Koran,” all the Gays proudly said.
“We’d honestly rather be Jewish instead.
The Jews gave us showtunes and prayers for booze.”
The Niggerinch replied, “den yo’ life you’se gwine lose.
Ah trahd to’ be civil ‘n’ show y’all some class,
But now I’mma bust a cap in yo’ ass!”
So he grabbed his revolver, but before he could shoot,
He noticed the glutes of a muscled blond fruit
Who was wearing a Speedo and no other clothes.
It gave him a sensation ‘tween his head and his toes,
And a great miracle happened there, by the way,
For the Niggerinch’s dick grew three sizes that day!
That was proof that his diabolical fiendish plan
Was the cover up for the fact that he’s a Gay black man.
He doesn’t like pussy. He really likes cock
And singing “I Will Survive” in a tight frock,
The same frock he wears down in Gayville to strut with
Looking for white boys to say what what in the butt with.
Then Beverly Lou came back with a binder
To prove that the Niggerinch signed up with Grindr.
The screenshots revealed he was trolling for booty
While dressing in drag as the Facts of Life’s Tootie.
With dicks, he took the good, and he took the bad,
And he took the biggest any man ever had.
Once he was exposed as a sham and a fraud,
The Gays down in Gayville sure didn’t applaud,
They booed him. They booed him.
They laughed in his face.
They said he endangered Gays of his own race
In addition to white ones, and brown ones and red,
And yellow and purple and blue in the head.
His rhetoric will soon make all Gay people dead
If he doesn’t mend his ways and come out instead.
The Niggerinch said, “Ah admits it, I’se Gay.
When ah came out, muh Baptist auntie shouted “oy vey!”
Den de rest o’ muh family done sent me away
To de top o’ Mount Humpit,
Saying dere I’se gwine stay
‘Till ah pray to de lawd to pray de gay away
‘Cuz he sez snatch be natch an’ dat ass jus’ cain’t match.
So each day, ah wud pray fo’ a taste fo’ puss-AY,
But de lawd didn’t lissen an’ leff me dis way.
Since de day dat muh folks kicked me outta mah home,
Ah prayed t’wa’ds Mecca, Jerusalem, ‘n’ Rome
Askin’ Gawd “make me straight so ah won’t go to Hell”
As muh home on Mount Humpit became muh jail cell.
But de Lawd didn’t do dat, as y’all bitches can see.
‘Stead, he gave a boyfriend to everyone but me.
Dat’s whah ah did all dis, cuz ah t’rew a fit,
Sayin’ if’n ah cain’t have a whaht man,
Den y’all cain’t have shit!”
But the Niggerinch got a white man
And seventeen more
To run a train up his asshole,
That shameless old whore!
He loved every one, and when he was through,
He gained the strength of ten Niggerinches plus two!
He gave back Gay Pride Flags with six rainbow stripes,
Then at Disco Karaoke, he showed off his pipes.
Then, he paid reparations in very large checks
To those who regret that they changed their birth sex
Because of the Niggerinch’s homophobic words
And now have Frankenpussies that smell like turds
Or disfiguring scars where breasts used to be.
‘Twere the biggest damn judgments in court history
When the doctors who chopped them were given the boot
As each one of them lost a malpractice suit.
In court, they got beaten, defeated, and trounced,
Yet oddly, not one reparation check bounced.
The Youth Gender Clinic was shuttered and burned
When the extent of their anti-Gay hatred was learned.
The Mayor was arrested on a morals charge,
And then went to prison with a sentence quite large.
The Niggerinch tried to make Gay bashing woke,
Now, unlike his rectum, his wallet is broke.
When the Niggerinch drained all the cum from his ass,
The lesson he’d learned made him head of the class:
Maybe Gay Pride perhaps doesn’t come from a store,
Maybe Gay Pride perhaps means a little bit more.