'I used to be lesbian until I fell for man 30 years older – our sex is amazing'

submitted by jingles from dailystar.co.uk

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[–]EternalSunset 7 insightful - 5 fun7 insightful - 4 fun8 insightful - 5 fun -  (1 child)

When you dick her just right 👌

[–]CreditKnifeMan 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

She had never encountered a real man.

[–]Newzok 4 insightful - 5 fun4 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Again with the tabloid shit

[–]hfxB0oyA 3 insightful - 7 fun3 insightful - 6 fun4 insightful - 7 fun -  (1 child)

He's working out her daddy issues.

[–]jingles[S] 1 insightful - 3 fun1 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

There is always a smartass in the audience.

[–]TarBaby 2 insightful - 4 fun2 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

She found her Sugar Daddy.

[–]jingles[S] 1 insightful - 3 fun1 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Just fyi, it isn't always the daddy that brings the sugar to the table.

..and a cougar is not always my senior, a kitten can also be a cougar.

[–]johndoyle 1 insightful - 3 fun1 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 3 fun -  (5 children)

Every day I'm convinced the world that we live in is a simulation when I read headlines like this. I still can't believe we used to be fucking apes and now niggas be writing bullshit like this. I just want to wake up and return to monke the modern world is too bizarre. Any of you guys feel that way?

Also lesbians don't exist they're just becky's that can't get chad's attention.

[–]jingles[S] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

Yes, I am afraid that lesbians do exist.. I am male, and so I am not pushing a lesbian agenda..

There are most definitely people that are sexually and romantically attracted to the same sex and not to the opposite sex.

It is probably the only story in the media that is actually true.

[–]Evola 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

Why don't they use plastic vaginas then?

[–]jingles[S] 5 insightful - 7 fun5 insightful - 6 fun6 insightful - 7 fun -  (1 child)

The trick to using a plastic pussy is to lube it all up with wd40 or you can just squirt a few mayonnaise packets up in it.

I have been doing this since way back.

[–]Evola 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Hey mate there's something over your head.

[–]Vulptex 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

It's definitely a simulation.

[–]Vulptex 1 insightful - 3 fun1 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

Haha, if you guys think being gay is weird, imagine not being attracted to anyone and just wanting to be tied up. Not even with sexual acts involved, just sitting there, fully clothed. Becuse somehow that's where I landed, seriously.

[–]jingles[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Oh, now I get it... That makes sense.

I am fairly familiar with that scenario.

[–]Vulptex 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It's not a joke. I'm 100% serious.

[–]jingles[S] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I appreciate that. I do. I understand your desire. Hey, did I ever mention that I studied counseling and that I thoroughly studied pretty much all of the major dysfunctions?

I studied the bondage and slavery and the sadism and masochism and the dominance and submission.

I also studied about dreams and love and God.

[–]Ehhhhhh 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

How does this make the news or whatever publication this is?

[–]jingles[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

It is a parody news site.

[–]Ehhhhhh 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Ahh, shoot. I totally didn't catch that.

[–]jingles[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/convicted-australian-kangaroo-rapist-arrested-in-canada-for-sexually-assaulting-beavers/

[–]SloppyJoeBeaver 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

Some girls have a lesbian phase, she was only 26 and probably scared of the idea of the cock.

[–]jingles[S] 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

Whenever I post one of these parody stories, so many people buy into it.

[–]Lesbons 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

It adds to the comedy, I'm cringing at many of the comments.

[–]jingles[S] 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

the really funny part is that most people bought into it and they responded with some form of rage.

...the same things happen when stories are printed about political situations and the stories are bent out of shape..

people are so easy to feed nonsense stories to... for example, dave chappelle bought into islam based on some small tidbits of fluffy information that he was told while ordering a pizza.. fyi, dave has no clue what he converted to.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yV3E50laISI

[–]Vulptex 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I've heard a lot of these women go back to being lesbians once they get older and their hormones decrease again.

[–]SloppyJoeBeaver 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Like The Golden Girls.

[–]gloomy_bear 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

Looks like it's another fakebian (bisexual pretending to be lesbian for attention)

[–]jingles[S] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (4 children)

did you overlook the fact that this post is from a parody website?

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

The Daily Star is just a regular off the shelf newspaper in the UK, not exactly a parody site. It's garbage news but it's not the onion lol

[–]jingles[S] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

ok, i did not know that.. but this online site is ALL PARODY.

[–]gloomy_bear 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Yeah, I certainly did

[–]jingles[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

this site that i posted is quite obviously a parody website and most people just ate it up..

now imagine that news that is fake news that is designed to be believable but is fake all the same... you eat it up the same way.

people's belief systems are now based on news that is fake fake fake.

in the end, everybody will lose.