TERFs, I see TERFs everywhere...

Lyssa · 2020-07-10T20:12:57+00:00

I don't believe in an "accident" for a second. They mus have gotten massive backlash from more people than just the "gender critical" core users.

Assholes. And for the first time their accusation of "hate" is justified in my case. I truely do hate people willing to throw children in a meatgrinder to advance their political agenda. And I'm not apologizing for it.

Lyssa · 2020-07-26T15:24:00+00:00

Well, not exactly... In a lot of cases doctors know that their answer is inaccurate/incomplete but are forced to record it anyway because "intersex" or "indetermined" is not an option. Actually, intersex people are the only ones "assigned" anything.

Lyssa · 2020-07-11T06:21:17+00:00

"They've been a big source of supporting this crap for years."

And that's why I think there must be a very good reason for this. Possibly a strong "recommendation" from their legal department. Usually, when people have aligned themselves to a cause and are convinced that they are on "the right side of history" they double down and triple down.

To silently backpadel like this looks a lot like covering their arses to me.

Lyssa · 2020-07-26T16:38:51+00:00

No, honestly not. And intersex organizations have been pretty clear, that they don't want their conditions being cited as the equivalent of a clear biological male or femal (99.98% of the population) feeling gender dysphoria.

How about backing off of people who until recently have been subjected to irreversible forced medical interventions in infancy and childhood to justify partially irreversible elective medical interventions later in childhood where "informed choice" is a very shaky ground?

No healthy functional body of an underaged person should be medically turned into a body forever reliant on artifical hormons, other drugs and in some cases repeat surgery with immense side effects.

That the intersex community who fights for children being left alone as they are is instrumentalized for (mal)practices rendering children infertile, possibly unorgasmic and depending on big pharma for life - now that is truely ironic.

Lyssa · 2020-07-26T15:26:43+00:00

Right! And this is were they lost me first. I was (and mostly am) still fine with pronouns. But when the "assigned at birth" lingo started the lunacy began to dawn on me.

As if doctors and midwives threw dices and "assigned" things in the delivery room completely arbitrary and for shits and giggles. No, they look at a baby and write down what they see (save for rare intersex conditions). No "assigning" taking place whatsoever.

Lyssa · 2020-07-27T01:11:55+00:00

Yep. Talked to a queer activist online pre-Rowling and (honestly) asked for his definition of "cis". It was: When you're comfortable and happy with your gender role. To which I replied: Well, that makes me a trans man.

Gave him pause. Any definition of trans that includes me should NOT be presented to children.

Lyssa · 2020-07-26T16:46:24+00:00

Has your DNA been observed in the delivery room? Mine hasn't. We indeed do know the chromosomes of my daughter thanks to modern pre-natal screening but that still is not the case for most births. A baby with CAIS has XY chromosomes but female genitalia.

I have recently learned here from another poster that most intersex conditions are apparent for medical professionals but some are not.

In any case: Why should I or anybody decide in those rare cases over the heads of those affected what the "final arbiter" is? And btw: for biologists it would be gonads. Not chromosomes.

Lyssa · 2020-08-02T23:30:05+00:00

"do you own a vagina"

Yes, but I somehow misplaced it... Does it still count? Or do I have to purchase myself a prostata now?

Please advise.

Lyssa · 2020-07-26T16:51:44+00:00

chromosomes don't have much bilogical function, they're just an inactive bundle of genes.

That's a pretty ridiculous statement. Chromosomes carry both active and inactive genes. Otherwise: where should our active genes reside?

And of course they have a biological function and in 99,98% of cases male and female are a very binary categories. Just because a coin somebody lands on its edge (coincidentally they do in about 0,02% of coin tosses...) does not mean it has three sides or that "sides of coins are actually far more complicated than heads or tails".

You will also find persons with 12 fingers or no arms. Nevertheless, "humans are a two-armed and ten-fingered species" is a correct statement.

Lyssa · 2020-07-11T06:22:43+00:00

I think it's a problem that in the US the main opposition to TWAW has been (still is?) from religious nutjobs like the Duggars. This is different in the UK so they are making more progress now. And thank goodness for JK Rowling.

Lyssa · 2020-07-20T12:56:03+00:00

Thanks for letting us know!

Sometimes it is hard not to let all the accusations get to you and this is a good reminder why and for whom we fight.

Lyssa · 2020-07-10T19:03:28+00:00

They KNOW their idology hurts children and teenagers, they could read it every day there. It was so obviously not a "hate" but a "hurt" group. They hate to read the truth more than anything else.

Fuck this. 100 GBP are going out to transgendertrend this evening. I will donate to gender critical causes every fucking month until this toxic trend has come to an end.

Lyssa · 2020-07-28T08:05:31+00:00

Because it is.

Lyssa · 2020-07-28T08:00:31+00:00

It is my secret hope that JK is pissed enough to have her attorneys set up one... She alone has enough money to do so and the recent instant success of e.g. Allison Baileys (then terminated) crowdfunding campaign suggest that a lot of regular folks would donate too if only they had the opportunity.

Plus it would (once again) sent the "You've messed with the wrong one.." message.

Lyssa · 2020-07-10T21:24:41+00:00

I honestly think they thought they could get away with it and backed down like the cowards they are when they realized what a backlash that started to create in just a few minutes. Of course they would never admit that. They really showed their true face there. The sheer gall...

Lyssa · 2020-07-01T16:14:36+00:00

"How can someone be dysphoric, yet be okay with getting pregnant and even menstruating (as BC can easily stop this experience), yet the language itself is too triggering?"

This is exactly what I thought when I encountered "people with uteruses" when researching for the upcoming birth of my daughter. How can a trans man be ok with pushing a baby out of his/her vagina (and unlike others on here I am willing to call trans people by their pronouns out of courtesy unless they are abusive/fraudsters/insisting on referring to me as cis or a menstruator etc.) and not be ok with reading pregnancy literature referring to "women"? What is potentially more triggering for dysphoria: a word or the act of giving birth? If you think you're up to the latter you should be able to handle the former...

What is often neglected: All this "inclusive" language is inherently excluding for girls and women without words to describe their bodies either due to disabilities or a religious/traditional upbringing. Ask 10 random women on the street to describe exactly what the words vagina, vulva, uterus, cervix and ovaries refer to and be prepared for some very troubling answers... If pap smears were recommended for "people with cervixes" a lot of women would have no idea that this applies to them.

Lyssa · 2020-07-27T01:39:48+00:00

You might be on to something... If we all start IDing as men, maybe people would start listening? And we could get everybody disagreeing with us get kicked of the internet?

Lyssa · 2020-07-24T11:43:21+00:00

Very nice! So far only gender critical people faced legal risks and could be called all sorts of names.

Major news outlets will take note that they can be made to pay damages for allegations like "xyz is denying trans people ther right to exist", "is transphobic" or "harming trans people". And without such hyperbole, very little is left that could be reported other than the actual statements made by an alleged "TERF". Which would be nice for a change.

Lyssa · 2020-07-01T07:36:05+00:00

Absolutely! Personally, I have no beef with any individual trans person but only with the cult like group think and erasure of women pushed by some TRAs.

Lyssa · 2020-07-27T07:14:19+00:00

I've never in my life perceived women of color as masculine. And that's coming from somebody who met her first woman of color at 11 or 12.

Apparently you don't only get away with the most regressive gender sterotypes but also with 19th century racial theories if only you're woke enough...

Lyssa · 2020-07-17T10:35:00+00:00

"Wait, 24/7 twitterati with manga avatars and made up pronouns do not buy 9 out of 10 newspapers and online accounts???"

Who would have thought.

Lyssa · 2020-07-06T11:33:54+00:00

I outearn most men. Works well, can recommend. ;-)

Irony is: since that is the case I became more comfortable with e.g. wearing dresses.

Lyssa · 2020-07-04T11:08:49+00:00

I've lived in Sweden for a while and they have lots of really large single stall unisex toilets (with proper walls, very private) with all kinds of facilities (place to change babies, handles for wheelchair users, condoms and tampon dispensers...) to accomodate everybody. Never experienced this as a problem. More like a luxury in fact. This setting is mostly used in restaurants, cafes etc. where traditionally there would hardly be space for two seperated tiny, tiny separate sex bathrooms and the wheel chair users had been left out, just like anybody who needed to change a baby.

Classic barely walled off common facilities for everybody: not my cup of tea and would not want that in schools etc. either. I hardly feel comfortable using those with other women.

Locker rooms should offer a separate small room for anybody trans (e.g. separate facilities for the disabled or adult coaches of kids, most gyms have something!). I understand trans women/trans identified males not wanting to shower and change with men, especially if they have transitioned medically (partly of fully). But I als don't want the pre-op and the dangerous ones in the women's and since there is no way to tell the difference between the save and the dangerous post-ops a different solution must be found.

Lyssa · 2020-07-27T07:28:29+00:00

I agree. This article seems more of a risk mitigation than promotion.

I truely hate how porn made choking the equivalent of a light spanking. IT IS NOT. It is extremely dangerous and even when chokes are practised in martial arts there usually is a third person present to check for signs of unconsciousness (like discoloration of soles) and an inability of the choked participant to "tap out" that the one doing the choking might not recognize.

Btw the most dangerous form of choking is to do it to oneself during masturbation (lots of boys and men but also some girls and women do it, apparently it is very addictive and hard to stop once established as a habit). Tons of fatal accidents with that, sometimes covered up as suicides as the less embarassing option by shocked relatives.

Lyssa · 2020-07-27T15:34:12+00:00

I think nobody can get fired for asking question or at least not yet.

So I'd ask uncomfortable questions.

"Can you please explain again what a gender identity is? So I totally got that it has nothing to do with somebody's body. But the examples you've been giving seem all to refer to some old-fashioned sterotypes... I mean, surely I should not ask any wo... ehh person I meet without make-up who I would expect to wear make-up because.. eh.. the gender I suppose they've been assigned at birth if they'd like to be addressed by male pronouns. That could be impolite as well, or not? And how do I tell a man who just likes to wear a skirt and make-up sometimes - because there's nothing wrong with that, is it? - from a trans woman?"

Nobody could contrue that as transphobic. You are just trying your very best to be the best person you can possibly be...

Expose the insanity by going above and beyond what's expected of you (Sitting silently through the re-education and practise what you've been taught. Shutting up, that is.)

Lyssa · 2020-08-07T10:18:16+00:00

I consider myself a sceptic, though I'm not as active anymore as in the "Four Horsemen"-days.

But yes, sceptics tend to dislike whole areas and theories being fenced off from discussion because "feelings"...

Lyssa · 2020-07-28T08:05:09+00:00

Yes, but I think it's important to have at least an outpost (if heavily moderated) on mainstream platforms as well? Nobody questioning their own trans identity and community is going to leave it in one big leap but little by little. As sad as it is but I think it's important for them to stay on Reddit. But yes, they should build an alternative. And that the gender critical platform in the making should have a space for detransitioners.

Lyssa · 2020-07-26T17:35:18+00:00

Yep. Why would one choose this ridiculous, infantilizing and stereotypical colour scheme?

Lyssa · 2020-07-04T15:57:19+00:00

It does not have to. It's a decisions the mods need to make.

Each approach has it's advantages and disadvantages. A "single issue lobby" approach would possibly gain a critical momentum really fast now with the JKR debate peaking people left and right. But it - obviously - would be less of a "digital home" for radfems.

A digital home would have its obvious advantages (above all being the new home for GC community) but can easily turn into a dead end without a large platform like reddit drawing in readers from other communities. I'm neither young nor new to the internet. I've seen it happen 2-3 times before.The start is euphoric "Yeah, our new place! Our castle, our rules!" and then the participation twindles over the months and years because you don't reach a wider audience and there comes a point when the veterans have posted anything they had to post and discussed anything they had to discuss.

Full disclosure: I was a long time lurker of Gender Critical and used its ressources to educate myself on the transgender issue. I was not an active participant because I was afraid the association would make me less effective dropping the points and breadcrumps on other boards (mostly the autism community which I'm part of and which is a HUGE target for all things transgender).

Lyssa · 2020-07-01T07:39:34+00:00

It's not my sub obviously but I'm not against guys participating as allies (obviously not for trolling etc.). To resist and fight this nonsense has become far to important to not include anybody willing to make a contribution. Imho...

So: Welcome!

Lyssa · 2020-07-20T11:54:27+00:00

I can agree with that very much and I've been in much more dangerous situations with familiar than with strange men, safe for one exeption.

Lyssa · 2020-07-15T15:57:17+00:00

This. I don't get why fragility is so encouraged today and even cultivated. As a collective, humans are the most dangerious species on the planet and we don't treat each others too kindly either. WHY has a whole generation bought into the idea that you should broadcast your vulnerabilites to the world and carefully nourish them instead of trying to become stronger and more independent?

It's a way of lifte that's bound to lead to many very rhough awakenings.

There is a time and place for revealing vulnerable information about yourself. And your twitter bio ain't it.

Lyssa · 2020-06-30T14:38:34+00:00

Same here. The transgender movement/issue has rubbed me the wrong way for some time. Since the latest JK Rowling Twitter battle I've donated around 100 GBP to gender critical causes and I've created an account on SAIDIT specifically to participate here.

I did not on Reddit because I disagree with some other aspects of radical feminism. But banning the sub? While a lot of other shit is allowed to stay up? While gendercriticalGUYS is allowed to stay up?

Enough.

And to the TRA brigade initiating the ban and going after Rowling: You've been stupid to go after somebody her size. And you continue being stupid by now going after perfectly normal citizens who two weeks ago had no clue that your agenda even exists. Who do you think has deeper pockets and more votes in the end: A few hundred people posting selfies and anime and hitting the report button on Twitter 24/7 or a pissed off mega millionaire and hundreds of thousands of women with real lifes, jobs and bank accounts? If in doubt, ask The Body Shop six months from now.

Lyssa · 2020-07-27T07:33:46+00:00

"That's less embarrassing"???

That's none of your fucking business. "Sis."

Thinking of it, my femininity must have hit rock bottom when I agreed not to do the engagement ring thing with my husband. We did not do a proper proposal either. We discussed and decided on marriage like the adults we are. And no, my father did not walk me down the aisel and "gave me" to my husband either.

The whole (largely made up...) traditions around marriage are so cringy to me... If they truely were mandatory, maybe I would never have gotten married.

Glad to be in a totally embarrassising marriage now though...

Lyssa · 2020-07-27T07:17:20+00:00

Spot on.

Lyssa · 2020-07-12T23:23:53+00:00

You are very welcome here!

Everybody understands that you need to be careful with personal details and absolutely no one gives a flying fuck about proper performance of femininity. :-)

Lyssa · 2020-07-08T13:24:44+00:00

Brilliant! ANDRAB... :D

Lyssa · 2020-07-06T15:52:52+00:00

Rationally: nothing.

Emotionally I was only ready to wear dresses and admit that I actually like to cook once I had secured my "status" so to speak. As long as I was younger, still figuringing things out and confronted with everybodies expectations I did not touch anything sterotypically female with a ten foot pole. I wish I could say that I always liked what I liked regardless of anybodies expectations but that would just not be true.

Lyssa · 2020-07-04T15:43:11+00:00

I don't know. It was a while ago and cameras were not that small/easily hideable back then. Maybe someone from Sweden can chime in...

Lyssa · 2020-07-11T23:37:13+00:00

I managed being calles "Mr." while sporting an almost waist length pony tail. Beat that.

And yes, I went about my day.

Lyssa · 2020-07-26T15:51:35+00:00

This. This exactly.

Lyssa · 2020-07-26T15:47:27+00:00

Hi, welcome to GenderCritical!

While I personally am indeed an atheist I can be and was or am friends with a wide range of religious people and can and have been working/do work with all kinds of religious people (agnostics, Christian, Muslim, Mormon, neopagans, esoterics/"alternative" folks).

What I won't do is exempt any religion/set of ideas from criticism. And there is a lot to criticise about both the history and current practise of Islam... Especially regarding the treatment of girls, women and homosexuals.

However: This does not impact my opinion of any Muslim as a person. Just as I'm willing to point out the abuse and systematic rape of children by Catholic priests (AND point out how Catholic theology and the unquestioned belief of larger parts of the Catholic flok enabled those men....) without being hostile to individual Catholics who might be the most kind and wonderful people I have not yet met and gotten to know.

If that is something you can live with: Happy to share and discuss gender critical ideas! :-)

Lyssa · 2020-07-15T20:16:50+00:00

Fascinating, isn't it? ;-)

Lyssa · 2020-07-04T11:20:52+00:00

This depends if it should be a radfem site first and foremost or a kind of lobby and support group for gender critical activities and opinions.

I lean strongly towards the latter but of course it's not for me to decide.

Just my two cents: People like Graham Linehan, the Gender Critical Dad and also "classic transsexuals" like Debbie Hayton have done a lot to clarify and solidify my stance on the gender movement. If the main objective of the site is to fight the gender cult we should include everybody willing to help.

There could still be a sub just for women or just for the discussion of other aspects of feminism.

Lyssa · 2020-07-26T15:59:24+00:00

Well, a TIM/ trans woman with at least breast implants can no longer just "get a job as a male". Historically, transexuals transitioning to a female appearance had in quite a number of cases resort to prostitution not as a kinky choice but because they've been booted out and accepted nowhere else. That now some IT managers cash in six figure saleries and come in as "Stacy" whenever they feel like it and kick out everybody who can't keep track which pronouns to use on which day of the week does not invalidate the very real job discrimination other trans people and next to all past transexuals faced.

But yes, a lot of TiF / trans men report increased wages / promotions / being taken more seriously after passing as male. Hell, even women with certain masculine features experience that. Remember the fake barritone of Elisabeth Holmes? She knew exactly why she was making that huge effort (probably harder than actually finishing your Stanford degree).

Lyssa · 2020-07-20T21:49:06+00:00

Autism is not really "not understanding feelings of other people" as in lacking empathy/being sociopathic. What autistic people don't get (or don't get without learning it like a foreign language and paying deliberate attention, while still getting it wrong more often then neurotyicals) is non-verbal interactions and social standards/conventions. Autistic people have a perfectly normal capacity for emotional empathy, their cognitive empathy is underdeveloped, however.

Being an asshole does not make somebody autistic and neither does being autistic cause somebody to be an asshole (occasionally rude, yes, that is true).

Autism does seem to increase the likelihood of both asexuality and paraphilias however (or at least both are included in questionnaires developed by researchers in the field).

Lyssa · 2020-07-16T18:07:45+00:00

It's realistic because it's based on a real story, unfortunatly...

Lyssa · 2020-07-16T16:04:23+00:00

I would not call the (rare) cases where there is a mismatch between chromosomes, gonads, external appearance of genitalia and hormones "clear". These intersex people are truely "non-binary" and for all I care can generally live as a man or a woman or something in between as they prefer and without making changes to the body they've been born with. I consider the fight of intersex people against mandatory surgery and for an "intersex" option on ID documents very justified. And they have pushed back against being appropriated by TRAs who fight for the exact opposite (medicalizing children to make them gender conforming).

However, Semenya should not be allowed to start in womens' sports because of her obvious advantage.

Lyssa · 2020-07-15T16:02:05+00:00

Well, I am self dox. Im nearly 40, female and have working class parents - how do you think I should have gotten a diagnosis as a gender non-conforming, awkward bullied kid in the early 80s? And why should I get one now as a gender non-conforming weird sucessful woman in no need of therapy and counseling because I have figured out life the hard way and by myself? I would be obligated to put it down when e.g. applying for a new insurance. So I would have only disadvantages and no benefits. If somebody does not take me seriously as an autistic women on the internet - I can live with that.

Lyssa · 2020-07-06T18:00:40+00:00

Thanks, now I understand your question better!

I come from a working class background where most women were housewives or earning a few bucks at the side at most. I knew I did not want that and I knew I wanted to go to university. While my parents supported me as much as they could, I had to find my way largely on my own and for the longest time I did that in a kind of "guy mode". :-)

Lyssa · 2020-07-01T09:55:32+00:00

I think in the current climate it takes a lot of intellectual integrity to state that you aspire to be a woman.

I was and still am happy to admit trans women as "honorary members" to the club as long as I'm not stripped of the possibility to gatekeep certain spaces. I also have no problems addressing the "honorary members" with female pronouns (unlike other members of GC) just as I would address anybody not blatantly abusive/fraudulent with their new chosen name after e.g. changing religious affiliations or after an adoption as an adult.

I think social/medical transition can be a (very) imperfect solution for some individuals suffering from severe dysphoria that is otherwise treatment resistant. I would not wish that on anybody and would hope that this would no longer arise in a society free of gender sterotypes.

Lyssa · 2020-07-15T17:40:14+00:00

I can say about myself whatever I wan't. And you're free to contradict me. Don't worry, I won't claim that you are "literally killing me" or something equally pathetic.

And yes, everybody can tell if he or she is dysphoric or not. What other standard should there be for "my body is bothering me very much and I am depressed/anxious because of it"? Do you want to diagnose dysphoria by x-ray or laproscopy? How dysphoria originates and how it should be treated, specifically if transition should be the standard protocol or very last ressort, that's up for debate. The experience of dysphoria is not.

Btw: Self-dox is important/legitimate for quite a few conditions, disorders and illnesses. I happen to have gotten an early diagnosis for endometriosis because a surgeon found it "passing by" before I even had symptoms. I would not have been less of an endo patient if I would have been made to suffer through the usual 7 years of waiting time for a proper diagnosis before receiving the all important slip of paper. Many endo patient dox themselves months and years before their official diagnosis.

No, I would not recommend self dox for brain tumors. But to say that there are only self doxed autistics and nobody would do that with anything else is quite simply incorrect.

Lyssa · 2020-07-27T01:08:22+00:00

I thougt you were referring to the fact that large parts of our DNA are what researchers used to refer to as "trash", i.e. not builing body parts even in mitosis or meiosis but just being copied along with the parts actually doing something...

Anyhow: Of course genes re "active" technically when read. Just like a library. Nevertheless, a library of cooking books is fundamentally different from a library on aeronautics and not at all "the same" or "not important" unless currently being read. Yes, you can use both as fancy wallpapers. But that is the equivalent for a library of a biological death of the carrier for DNA.

Your chromosomes decide what your body looks like, what your IQ potential is (note I've said potential, not IQ) and if you e.g. have Huntington's Chorea. If you had one of the more dramatic variations (like Huntington's...) the notion "it's only important during cell devision, but so TOTALLY irrelevant for your life" would probably be rather infuriating...

Lyssa · 2020-07-23T12:24:39+00:00

I am so sorry it took that long to get real help! Your story confirmed everything I suspected about the standard of care in "gender clinics" and by "gender experts". They deserve to be driven out of business by lawsuits.

Lyssa · 2020-07-21T07:25:01+00:00

Autism involves difficulties in forming relationships with or understanding other people

That is true of a great number of different conditions.

A leading characteristic of autistics is also their intense introversion. Does this sound like the majority of TRAs/autogynophiles? True, autistics are more comfortable with "online extraversion" but the overwhelming majority prefers text based interactions. And they are generally very stingy with insencere compliments. Very much unlike the TRA echochamber.

I really think autistics are far more likely to end up as transitioned as minors plain old gender non-conforming confused kids (in other words victims of the cult) than the autogynophilic TRA cult leaders.

Lyssa · 2020-07-16T17:32:19+00:00

I am aware that gametes are the deciding factor for biologists. However, if somebody has the chromosomes, external genitalia and socialization of the opposing sex it strikes me as both oversimplistic to say "disordered male, nothing more to it". Your own link includes the following statement: "In humans, this sexual dimorphism is so consistent that 99.98% of births are unambiguously male or female." So biologists do recognise - exceedingly rare - disambiguations within the binary system. That is not the same as to (incorrectly) state that sex is a spectrum.

Are you generally opposed to the definition/labelling of certain rare conditions as "intersex"? And if Semenya would not be winning womens' medals but just be somebody observed female at birth, raised as a girl and suddenly developing male characteristics at puberty (probably a distressing experience) would you call her "him" after you'd heard that internal testicals have been found? Should that not be her/his own right to decide?

Lyssa · 2020-07-16T11:42:56+00:00

This is what I worry about a lot. I've also ordered but not yet received Irreversible Damage.

My daughter is only a few months old but should she end up anything like me she would be a perfect target for this madness. This is one of the reasons I got into this mess. To help end it before she starts puberty.

Oh and congrats to your really smart daughter! Sounds like you did a great job as a parent.

Lyssa · 2020-07-01T15:41:22+00:00

I suppose the examples of trans women in womens sports, of rapists suddenly identifying as women to be send to a prison for women and of documented examples of perverts preying on children in restrooms under the transgender cover are self-explanatory to 90% of the population...

Lyssa · 2020-07-15T20:41:54+00:00

So you would graciously grand me the right to say "I'm being autistic" just not "I have ASD"? That's too kind. Thinking of it, I don't think I've used the ASD label ever...

In any case: this is clearly not making sense any longer. Or ever has.

Lyssa · 2020-07-15T20:30:18+00:00

you're just being narcissistic playing identity games.

Oh, suddenly you can diagnose NPD accross the internet? Funny how that works. :D

Have a good night.

Lyssa · 2020-07-15T19:02:34+00:00

You resort to self-ID because resources and "doctors don't know anything" and "bias".

You lack basic reading comprehension.

Lyssa · 2020-07-15T18:50:48+00:00

"Because it's "cuter"?"

Pretty much. I just woke up one day and told myself: Hey, those flashbacks, auditory halluzinations and stuff really sucks. Autism sounds cool though...

And "less stigma"? Are you fucking kidding me? I'm not getting diagnosed precisely to avoid negative consequences especially regarding my insurability. I am the main earner of our family. I will certainly not slap a disability sticker on my head to appear "cute" or to have somebody I've never met and never will meet consider me a proper autistic.

Joking aside, I just assume that you were at least partly really asking a question and answer in earnest:

I am not schizoid anything since I never suffered from wild mood swings or halluzinations. If anything I am rather stoic and uber-sober. I get on peoples nerves with that. I frequently overloaded as a child. This happens about once a year now. Schizophrenia and anything related flares up and worsens in young adults. So that's a nope then.
I am not avoidant. I very rarely leave overwhelming situations with a fake excuse. For the most part I though it out in the short term and try to construct my life in a way that needs less thoughing out in the long term (e.g. home office and online networking instead of daily office and participation in conferences).
ADHD: never had trouble adhering to deadlines or focusing. I was labeled a "dreamer" in elementary school and watched birds for hours instead of doing what I was supposed to do. Grew out of that for the most part.

ASD characteristics I do have: special interests; inability to smalltalk; sensory difficulties with things most people like and reactions to them that are beyond my control (gaging on most things fruity, most severly on artificial berry/cherry aromas); short list of things I would eat as a child, was severly undernourished and underweight as a result; difficulties to make friends, only friends with boys as a kid, girls would not tolerate my emotional spectrum or disinterest in all things girly; extreme difficulty of telling when it's my turn to speak on the phone - continuing to this day, big problem in professional context for me; extreme difficulty in telling on which side I should pass somebody on the street, I end up in a comical "step right, step left, step right"-dance frequently, if possible, i just walk slightly behind somebody I'm with and let them figure it out; difficulty to tell when or even consider the possibility that somebody is lying, got better on that with advancing age but it's a completely learned conscious response, it still just baffels me how much people lie and that there are habitual liars, historically I had no defenses against that; inability to tell if somebody is just being polite or really wants to talk/meet soon; people who have knowledge about and experience with the higher functioning end of the spectrum "suspect" me pretty quickly and have told me as much; other people I meet in real life have no clue and I'd like to keep it that way. No interest in woke cookie points or being "cute".

I feel better with myself since my life experience makes more sense against the background of being autistic. I don't need therapy (or at least not anymore) and I don't need strangers on the internet to tell me "You are loved and you are VALID!". You are welcome to consider me schizophrenic or attention seeking or whatever you prefer.

Lyssa · 2020-07-17T06:27:16+00:00

Again, thank you much! That was really informative re several conditions! And I was not aware, that Semenya claimed that women pee out of their vaginas...

Lyssa · 2020-07-16T17:36:33+00:00

Interesting links! Thanks much!

Lyssa · 2020-07-16T13:58:58+00:00

Men may not give a crap about our safety, but cheat at sports and they will care.

:DDD Probably true...

Lyssa · 2020-07-16T12:49:18+00:00

This. I have zero interest in insisting to call any trans woman a trans identified male and use male pronouns. I save this for the fraudsters, sex offenders etc. because it's important to not let them muddy statistical data and enter facilities were they endanger women. If a trans woman just wants to live her life in peace and quite: happy to use her chosen name and female pronouns. Just like I don't refer to somebody who changed their last name in marriage with their old name or to anybody who changed his or her name for any other reason. I would not change any part of my name and have not done so when marrying but that does not mean I cannot respect a different choice.

I do however draw the line as using my mental bandwith to remember made up pronouns, call myself "cis" or pretent that TWAW. And I will not help abusers and criminals to hide behind the word and identity "woman" when they are very clearly typical male abusers/criminals.

Lyssa · 2020-07-16T11:35:10+00:00

What's that supposed to mean?

Lyssa