How to support LGB youth who have gender dysphoria

luckystar · 2020-10-07T03:23:41+00:00

I honestly feel like we just need to go back to before the extreme transgender activism -- maybe to before about 10 or 15 years ago? There was a time when LGB acceptance was pretty high (all things considered), marriage equality was becoming the norm in more and more countries, suburbanites happily watched Ellen and Will&Grace, and one could be a "metrosexual" guy or a "tomboy" girl without thinking they were literally no longer a member of their birth sex. There have always been a small number of people, used to be called transsexual, almost exclusively HSTS(mostly gay but some lesbians too). They would present as the opposite sex because it made them feel more comfortable, but they would know there were limits -- eg they wouldn't change in a public shower room, or try to play on a woman only sport team etc etc because the whole point was NOT wanting to call attention to oneself. There were honestly zero problems and I have friends like this to this day that I have zero problems with.

The problem overwhelmingly comes from straight AGP men, usually white, who have disproportionate economic and social power to shift the narrative, but honestly have basically nothing in common with the LGBT community. They're middle aged men who get their kicks from wearing their wives' panties. If anything they're the most heterosexual and strict on gender roles, because they tend to be hyper masculine men with very misogynistic traditionalist views (that's why pretending to be a woman is so erotic for them -- how could there be anything more humiliating than being a lowly woman?). They overtake all the LGBT organizations and focus on their wants. They also deliberately provoke women (esp. lesbians). To a lesser extent there are the straight women LARPing as men from their yaoi porn, but being women nobody really listens to them. IMO the problem is at least 98% with the AGPs because their agenda is fundamentally a conservative straight male one.

luckystar · 2020-10-07T03:10:45+00:00

I mean, what about like... Disneyland characters, sports mascots, outfits like that? I guess those are all basically paid actors, but there do exist people who dress up in animal suits for non sexual reasons

luckystar · 2020-10-07T02:46:08+00:00

I've never been cursed enough to interact with one in the flesh, but based on all their descriptions (and hoo boy do they love to describe), "girldick" is literally just old grandpa dick. Struggles to get/stay hard, doesn't ejaculate (or very little), small, etc. It's just penis but even worse. That's less desirable than what you started with, which was already not at all interesting to lesbians (or straight men, but "somehow" they're always safe from having girldick shoved in their faces...)

Offering "girldick" to lesbians is like offering a peanut butter sandwich to someone who's allergic to peanuts, and then when they decline, you drop the sandwich on the floor so it's covered in dirt, and then offer it again. The allergic person is still having none of your peanut butter sandwich, and worse yet you've rendered the sandwich in a condition that even a person who likes peanut butter sandwiches is no longer gonna be interested.

luckystar · 2020-10-07T02:21:43+00:00

There have definitely been women who take the role of men both in history and currently but it's almost always more about survival in a highly patriarchal society; women who wanted to attain certain professions or roles that were considered "only for men".

I agree about the other cultures' "third genders" basically always just being HSTS. India's hijra, Thailand's kathoey(ladyboys), the Muxes in Mexico (and iirc that was only one small portion of Mexico, not the whole country), they're always just HSTS. From a biological perspective, society can "afford" to have men not play the male role in reproduction (hell, the men who do want to reproduce would probably prefer it that way), but women are basically never "allowed" to opt out of being seen as the baby makers.

ALSO, the cultures that have "third gender" are typically the MORE patriarchal ones, because they have a stricter (heteronormative) definition of how "men" are "supposed" to act and as such men who don't act that way are labeled "non men". It's both (a) not progressive at all and (b) not the same thing as trans in Western culture, because trans in Western culture demand to be considered literally the sex they identify as, whereas the whole point of third genders was letting them be a third thing.
Basically my rebuttal to those "wow muh noble savage much enlightened non western cultures have third genders!" arguments is "Yeah, other cultures have a word that means 'f#ggot' or 's#ssy'. It's not that progressive, nor does it make trans women literally women".

luckystar · 2020-10-07T02:14:05+00:00

You are so right, living in different countries it really is interesting how certain issues are prioritized and some are not.

luckystar · 2020-10-07T02:11:27+00:00

I do think a lot of the time a very conservative/homophobic/religious background breeds this kind of sentiment among men who'd just be gay guys otherwise. Blaire White for instance is pretty conservative and strict about gender roles, I feel like she wants to appear "normal" and thus straight. Then there's people like the head of the Mermaids trans organization in the UK, she openly stated her husband couldn't accept their son liking "girl toys" and she thought her son might turn out to be gay & the father couldn't accept that so the parents transed the kid. It's absurd gaslighting that organizations like Mermaids claim that transition is not gay conversion therapy when anybody can go on YouTube, look up Susie & Jackie Green, and find the CEO of the damn organization talking proudly about how they converted their probably possibly gay son to a woman. It's awful

luckystar · 2020-10-04T00:48:48+00:00

Scott Wiener seems to be one of those gay men that has gone full TRA. Other examples:

British Journalist Benjamin Butterworth ACLU Lawyer Chase Strangio Penis-- err, Pink News CEO Benjamin Cohen

I'm not sure what they're getting out of it... but it seems common enough for gay men to be rabid TRAs despite not being trans. It probably helps that they're not directly bearing the brunt of the conversion therapy rhetoric the way lesbians are.

luckystar · 2020-10-02T03:02:34+00:00

For appropriation, I can think of many. Of course some people will argue that transgender itself is appropriating the opposite sex (this is especially sensitive for women b/c sexism exists).

The phrase "assigned sex at birth" is appropriated from the intersex community. Transactivists also use intersex people constantly in their arguments even though intersex orgs have pleaded to be left out of these debates because they're really completely separate issues.

Transbians just hit wrong. I feel like unless you're Blaire White, a trans woman is usually pretty clockable, even the ones who claim to be "stealth", and many of them are just blatantly male (like Yaniv or Stefonknee etc). It's hard to not see them as heterosexual men.

I've also seen trans people use the term "femme", which originated as a term lesbians use (butch vs femme). Honestly lesbians don't even really like the terms much but to use them out of context is still appropriation and weird. A lot of "trans femmes" when they mean "trans women" (or if they're mirroring transmasc, then it should be transfem). The other day I saw someone use "assigned femmes" meaning "AFABs". It was an appropriation within an appropriation. Bleah.

luckystar · 2020-10-02T02:45:22+00:00

I think I'm mostly worried because she does seem to be comfortable enough with her equipment to want to use it. I absolutely don't want to make her feel uncomfortable, or like less of a woman, because of my preferences. Wow, just... wow.

My heart hurts reading threads like these. How can these people read this and not feel disgusted with themselves? Just awful conversion therapy rhetoric. I hate how homophobic this generation is.

luckystar · 2020-10-02T02:38:20+00:00

Badwomensanatomy unironically shared the "transwomen are women" meme. Like you can't make this sh!t up lol

luckystar · 2020-10-02T02:05:32+00:00

This article is so depressing to read... It seems obvious to me that these are just young lesbians trying to identify out of oppression. Oh you thought you were a lesbian, but now you think you're not a lesbian because you're attracted to some humans who identify as transgender or non binary? Do those humans happen to be biologically female? Because boy oh boy do I have some news for you

luckystar · 2020-10-02T01:49:52+00:00

Have you watched her TED Talk? It's honestly jaw-dropping. She explains it very directly: her son was very effeminate, she was fine with it, just thought he'd grow up to be gay. (Which is kinda crazy to begin with-- who thinks about their kids sexuality when they're like 2?)

But the dad, however, was NOT okay with it. The dad took his Barbie dolls away and forbade him from playing with "girls" toys or wearing "girls" clothes. Dad tried to make the kid act like how he thought a boy should act.

Is it any surprise he started saying he wanted to be a girl? Permanently taking a child's toys away is really extreme, it sounds silly to us as adults but in their young lives with almost no possessions toys are VERY important to a child. Susie also mentions that Jackie asked his grandma to buy him dolls and hide them from his parents.

Clearly, that was proof that it was necessary to castrate the child and pretend he's a girl. Playing with a fucking doll. That's how rigid the father's gender stereotypes were and how the mother reacted -- not to protect her child from the asshole father, but to go whole hog on the transing.

And now, Jackie is permanently sterilized, never to have biological children of his own. Puberty blockers mean he never went through male puberty, but despite what transactivists want you to believe, there is no magical pill that can give you puberty of the opposite sex. Thus he never produced mature sperm. Since age 16 when his mother whisked him away to Thailand for illegal (at the time in the UK, and now in Thailand as well) child SRS, he now has a surgical hole they call a vagina -- but without the function or sensation of a natal vagina -- that must be dilated or "used" regularly for the rest of his life lest it close up. He must take HRT for the rest of his life. And was this childhood castration worth it? His face, after countless surgeries, is in that uncanny valley spot where he looks neither male nor female, even though he clearly thinks his self worth comes from looking like a conventionally attractive woman.

The stories of Jackie Green and Jazz Jennings (who went through a similar treatment) send chills down my spine. It's grotesque child abuse paraded about publicly as something to celebrate. And why? Parents desperately clinging to heteronormative ideas, that they think permanently neutering and mutilating their children is preferable to having a gay son or lesbian daughter.

It's one thing when people transition as adults. I view that a bit like I do smoking cigarettes -- it still seems pretty harmful to me but if they choose to do it and they're happy with it knowing the trade-offs then hey, go nuts. But a child should never be put through this...

luckystar · 2020-10-02T01:04:16+00:00

I could almost guarantee you this came about because of genderspecial weebs (ie, regular heterosexual people but with blue hair and a fancy for cartoon gay/lesbian porn) having an aneurysm over the phrase "ladies and gentlemen".

luckystar · 2020-10-02T01:02:00+00:00

There's a simple solution to that little problem. Explain you're not cis. Because in all likelihood, you're not -- Do you 100% of the time identify with all the social roles, behaviors, appearance, etc of your birth sex? If not, congrats, you're not cis! I think the actual % of the population that is "cis" is actually tiny, it's just that most of us don't sit around with our thumbs up our asses thinking about how special our ~relationship with gender~ is. Agender or non binary more accurately fits the average person who isn't literally a Barbie Doll or G.I. Joe.

luckystar · 2020-10-02T00:57:07+00:00

A lot of them are the dreaded "cishet white middle class" (note: I don't really think "cis" is a thing, but you know what I mean. Non-dysphoric.)

They run in social circles where everyone claims it's important to CeNtER MaRGiNaLiZeD V0iCeS but in actuality they all want to keep attention on themselves.

luckystar · 2020-10-02T00:55:06+00:00

Hey now, she identifies as NoN BiNaRy GeNdErQuEeR.

Now, her boyfriend just considers himself a regular straight dude, but you know how it works. She said the magic words, they're kweer now.

luckystar · 2020-10-02T00:49:43+00:00

The rewriting of history and changing the identities of deceased lgb people is super messed up....

luckystar · 2020-10-02T00:47:26+00:00

Sadly the second slogan is the only one that would get traction here.

luckystar · 2020-10-02T00:46:40+00:00

This stuff makes no sense. People aren't attracted to the words "I identify as a [wo]man". We are attracted to one sex or the other (unless you're bi)

luckystar · 2020-10-02T00:43:15+00:00

Pure DARVO/projection

luckystar · 2020-09-23T21:07:13+00:00

God that thread is depressing. It's always the same story with the AGPs: Man is married for years, even decades, then announces he's a woman, suddenly the family finances now revolve around "affirming" his fetish, he acts crueler and more narcissistic than ever before, he casts aside his own kids accusing them of being "transphobic" i.e. not elated about dad living a fetish 24/7 and wasting their college funds on inverting his penis, the wife tries to accommodate for a time but ultimately breaks down (unless you're Amanda Jette Knox), dad -- oh i mean "mom", we must be accepting & affirming after all -- makes a new group of friends who are fellow AGPs that drag him further into the cult and convince him that his whole family is in the wrong, not him.

In that thread there are MULTIPLE other posters talking about how their former husband or father acts like this.

How can anyone deny AGP is a thing?

luckystar · 2020-09-23T20:40:45+00:00

Don't be embarrassed. That's super healthy. You're okay with your female body. That's good, I'd say. All the stuff we do, it's to get our bodies in sync with our and society's ideas of women.

How are these people this dense. What part of getting an erection is female lmao

luckystar · 2020-09-23T20:37:36+00:00

Time and time again. And then the comments will be like "You're just really excited to finally be able to be your ~true self~ as a wamen!" as if actual women got wet from putting on lip stick

luckystar · 2020-09-23T20:33:12+00:00

Yeah, I'm in Wiener's district.. have contacted his office before but useless obviously, he's the ringleader of this stuff. There is a challenger this year, further left than him, she could very well agree with the genderspecials too but she hasn't commented either way, so at the very least it's not her top priority.

I agree with your points though. Sad truth is both parties hate women, just in different ways.

luckystar · 2020-09-22T18:16:09+00:00

"Girldick" = a man's penis that is now soft and limp from the horse piss pills. Basically a grandpa dick.

"Man vagina" = a woman's vagina with a clitoris that is somewhat enlarged from T. Tinier than even the tiniest micropenis.

Basically both are objectively worse versions of their natal genitals, neither comes anywhere close to being the opposite sex genitals.

Congratulations, you already had no chance with people who are not attracted to members of your biological sex, now you've also ruled out nearly all humans that are otherwise attracted to members of your biological sex.

luckystar · 2020-09-22T18:09:32+00:00

The money thing is interesting. I suspected it was either due to $$$ from pharma (incentive to keep pumping out HRT, HIV drugs) or due to personal perversions. Probably a combination of both. Wonder how many raped kids this sicko has in his closet.

About the last part though, tbh I'm a progressive in general, I definitely wouldn't be happy in Texas or another conservative state. But I don't see how any of this is "progressive". When I start seeing being opposed to child sex trafficking or being disgusted at the movie Cuties as a "right wing conspiracy theory" I'm just... lost. I know back in the 80s NAMBLA tried to hop on the bandwagon of gay rights by pretending pedophilia is just another kind of love too. I don't see how it's "progressive" to be "tolerant" of child abuse. Tolerance doesn't mean being so open minded your brain falls out.

luckystar · 2020-09-22T18:04:33+00:00

Tbh I feel bad for truscum, gender dysphoria is a serious mental illness that they're just trying to cope with, and they get shunned by their own "community" for saying stuff like "transitioning because of a fetish is not valid" and "I know I am biologically male"

luckystar · 2020-09-22T18:02:02+00:00

IIRC "transbians" (biological men that are attracted to biological women) don't have "female brains" either, just gay men & HSTS. They think these brain studies prove something but all it does is prove that transition is actually a form of gay conversion therapy and that transbians absolutely are not women even by their own twisted standards

luckystar · 2020-09-22T17:58:01+00:00

Ah, beautiful. Somebody actually described the "female gender" on the thread linked in the comments.

It is a pretty broad term. But as a sorta-flux sorta-girl, I think I might be equipped to explain some of the terms you named? (flux is a kind of fluid, where the intensity at which you feel [gender] fluctuates)

To explain demigender identities, first we have to know what a gender even is. Imma take female for example, bc it's easier for me. There's certain aspects we associate with womanhood, like cooking, wearing dresses, being caring, longer hair, being better at precise tasks, being more aware of social situations, better grooming. These "stereotypical attributes" are by no means universal, but they are kind of associative? If you knew someone knitted, had 17 cats and had an hourglass figure, it would be a subversion of expectations for this person to be male.

For the sake of this explanation and my very tired brain, let's assume the list I named is exhaustive, rather than reductive. Now, lets say, that someone might be better at precise tasks and has better grooming, but has no ear for social situations and intensely dislikes cooking. Some might say this person is gender non-conforming, but maybe that... doesn't feel like it covers it for the person. Maybe they have some aspects of social dysphoria or even physical. In any case "GNC woman" doesn't feel like it properly conveys the distance between them and "womanhood".

Now, a genderfluid person might start the day off being perfectly fine in their presentation. Pronouns she/her, pretty skirt, nice makeup, cute shoes. But halfway through the day smth changes. Pronouns grate, shoes look wrong, the skirt which looked so pretty before, now feels like they're crossdressing. And it's impossible to explain this change with anything other than "the gender I experience changed."

There you have it. It's literally clothing styles and, apparently, knitting and cats.

There's a reason why these people avoid answering the question "What is a gender?" or "What does it mean to be a woman if not based on biological sex?". Because the answer is stuff like this. They think wearing clothes is a personality, and they think in terms of rigid gender stereotypes. They're the most sexist of all but they think they're being woque. It's gross.

luckystar · 2020-09-22T17:31:23+00:00

Tread carefully, brother. It's gonna be hard to talk somebody out of a transition, and it might even end your friendship or result in him hardening his resolve to transition.

Also, I don't think transition is always a bad idea. Blaire White might be a self-hating gay man, but she seems happy living as a woman and she understands she is biologically male + she's not infringing on women's rights so I say all the more power to her.

One thing about puberty blockers. If your friend goes on puberty blockers followed by cross-sex hormones, [s]he WILL be infertile, permanently. Puberty blockers prevent a male puberty, but cross-sex hormones don't magically give you a womb and eggs. 15 is VERY young to decide to never have biological children ever. Here's a source from an extremely pro-trans/"affirming" hospital, UCSF: https://transcare.ucsf.edu/guidelines/youth

The consent process for hormones should include a conversation about fertility. While options are being explored to preserve future fertility for transgender youth, the current reality is that cryopreservation is very expensive, in many cases prohibitively so for those with ovaries. For youth whose pubertal process has been suspended in the earliest stages, followed by administration of gender-affirming hormones, development of mature sperm or eggs is unlikely at the present time

It's hard because your average 15 year old doesn't want kids and thus doesn't understand the gravity of sterilizing oneself. Maybe you can show him the Blaire White videos where she talks about how she's glad she transitioned as an adult because she can still go off hormones and produce sperm if/when she wants to have biological children.

Finally, if he does want to get the surgery, the blockers/hormones are a bad idea because they leave you with not enough penile tissue to do the penis inversion technique. Here clips of Jazz Jennings and Jackie Green might be instructive. Both of them had terrible SRS experiences due to transitioning too young. Jazz in particular is incapable of feeling sexual arousal and has never had an orgasm. It's tantamount to child abuse in my opinion.

luckystar · 2020-09-22T17:20:39+00:00

Neverrr had any problems telling apart butch lesbians and men. Butch lesbians look more like women than trans women. Maybe if you only had a split second glimpse you'd be confused but face and body shapes are very distinctive.

I read a theory once that women are instinctively much better at differentiating biological sex of strangers out of safety reasons. Anecdotally I've shown some men photos of trans women in women's sports where to me, it's instantly obvious who the man is (even if the women next to him are "buff"), but they have not been able to pick out which one is the man, which just blows my mind. I suspect the transwomen promoting this myth have the same problem -- they genuinely think that having long hair and a dress makes them look more like a woman than a butch lesbian because men aren't very good at differentiating between male and female in the first place.

luckystar · 2020-09-22T17:10:29+00:00

The reason why men in Taiwan support Trump is because the Trump administration is incredibly Taiwan-friendly. It's more of a broken clock being right twice a day thing -- they're war-hawks and anti-China so they see supporting Taiwan as a way to piss off China -- but Taiwan is a vibrant democracy that wants and needs US support to not be taken over by China, whereas Democrats don't want to get involved in foreign countries, so they just don't care.

It's the first issue that made me realize that the Democrats aren't always "on the right side of history"...

luckystar · 2020-09-22T06:15:44+00:00

I was talking about this w/my spouse the other day. Scott Wiener seems to make promoting creepy ass bills his #1 priority. And when questioned, he accuses detractors of being homophobic, transphobic, or alt-right conspiracy theorists. But each bill he introduces is using LGBT as a shield for something really perverse that has nothing to do with human rights.

It's one thing to go with the flow because you're a Democrat elected official and the winds are blowing "trans women are women". I doubt that Kamala Harris, for instance, considered the ins and outs of gender identity politics before putting "she/her" in her Twitter bio.

But to make it the main goal of your legislative career? Focusing on making sure HIV can be spread, making sure males are put in female prisons and other female spaces, making sure that gay pedos have the same "right" to be let off the hook easy that straight pedos can... it's way too much to be a coincidence.

I honestly would not be surprised whatsoever if it later came out that Wiener is having full blown child rape parties, Epstein-style. He just strikes me as a very sick man.

luckystar · 2020-09-22T06:06:19+00:00

And for some reason California looked at Canada and the UK and was like "Yep this sounds like a splendid idea and definitely one to implement back home"

luckystar · 2020-09-13T20:28:56+00:00

For general stuff you can find it on any page discussing mastectomies for breast cancer https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/mastectomy/about/pac-20394670

I've heard of transmen losing nipples and/or losing sensation too.

Also, obviously implants cannot breastfeed an infant, nor can they restore sensation for the woman. They create the appearance of breasts, that's it.

luckystar · 2020-09-13T20:19:28+00:00

It really is wild how often the transwoman+transman pairing appears. If you're a woman but your male partner has told you that the definition of "woman" is hentai porn skirt go spinny uwu sex slave, then you start to think you can't be a woman, because that doesn't describe you. The sad part is both parties have convinced themselves they're "smashing the binary" and being "progressive", when really all that's happening is men are redefining women using the terms of their oppression, and women are so desperate to escape that oppression that they try to claim they're no longer women.

The problem is that material reality doesn't change, and oppression is based on sex, not gender. That's why the men get to redefine "woman" in terms of their own twisted, misogynistic fantasies, and women are forced to accept it.

luckystar · 2020-09-13T20:16:41+00:00

TiMs gaslighting TiFs into thinking they're the oppressors is quite common actually: https://simplereceipts.wordpress.com/2018/12/05/original-callout-for-eli-erlick/ https://www.lipstickalley.com/threads/transwoman-activist-cherno-biko-confesses-to-raping-a-transman.1068515/

It's some of the most flagrant examples of how gender ideology is just a thinly veiled shield for blatant misogyny. Play around with words and suddenly men (transwomen) are the most oppressed and women (transmen) have to make themselves even smaller and focus even more on the poor feelings of these "oppressed" men

luckystar · 2020-09-13T20:14:19+00:00

I'm rereading your posts & the links you sent and... Yeah, I was never very good at biology class I must admit. To me it basically sounds like CS is male in every meaningful sense (chromosomes, hormone levels, even has testes) EXCEPT the testes are internal & their external genitalia looked like a large clitoris? But where did her "vagina" come from? I know that surgical mutilations at birth are sometimes carried out on intersex people.

CS can't menstruate, right? Wouldn't CS and family have wondered what was going on in her teen years, when all the "fellow girls" are getting their period?

luckystar · 2020-09-12T19:53:05+00:00

Hi this is a lot of information so it is going to take me some time to go through it. But you asked about the sexing test of IAAF and I found this: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/8272686/ Semenya was allowed to keep the medals they won so I don't understand how they could fail the test and still be allowed to do that?

luckystar · 2020-09-12T19:32:05+00:00

I'll say "If the definition of 'transphobic' is such that I must either be wildly sexist and homophobic, OR be 'transphobic', then sorry, I'm gonna pick the latter"

luckystar · 2020-09-12T17:31:41+00:00

Yeah, I'm kinda confused. This story has nothing to do with gender identity; it's a story about parents with Alzheimers, which is a tragic, if well-trod story.

I was waiting for something juicy like "My parents kept calling me their daughter" or "My parents accused me of being a stranger breaking into their house" or whatever but nope. This is just somebody blogging about their slightly atypical life and getting into the NY Times for it.

luckystar · 2020-09-11T23:03:31+00:00

I'm really glad when they date each other, it's a win-win, that's 2 less creepy ass men harassing lesbians

luckystar · 2020-09-11T22:44:47+00:00

For the first part, my understanding was that sex is determined by (potential) gamete production. Obviously it's not the sperm itself making them run faster lol.

As for the second point, that is interesting. I mean CS had some sort of sexing test done by some sporting organization and passed it, so there must be SOMEthing that makes them think CS is female?

luckystar · 2020-09-11T22:43:06+00:00

So my close friends I've talked about this stuff with, one was a permanent friendship ender but the rest all agreed with me. But I'm talking more like... casual friend from college level of friendship. It's a minefield and if I can avoid the topic I do. Gotta choose your battles

luckystar · 2020-09-09T07:34:44+00:00

Thank you for saying this. A vaginoplasty cannot self lubricate (at least not with the same thing as women, because men lack those glands), cannot grip (it is a hole, a real vagina is a muscle), usually can't take very deep penetration (unlike a real vagina which expands upon arousal), and more often than not looks very obviously not like the real deal. Not to mention the risks of poop smell & hair growing on the inside. And that's just for sexual intercourse, a vaginoplasty also obviously cannot birth a child or menstruate either.
They're really just flesh tubes to be pounded. Because that's what men think women are for.

luckystar · 2020-09-09T07:30:52+00:00

There are no lesbian subs left on reddit

luckystar · 2020-09-09T06:54:52+00:00

Oh man I just came here to see if there was any discussion of this. Seriously the entire subreddit is largely dominated by trans people and they upvote memes about trans stuff pretty much daily. Even the slightest "I'm not attracted to male genitalia" will get an insta-ban for being violent transphobia. How much more could they possibly demand? Peak entitlement and self-centeredness

luckystar · 2020-09-09T06:41:59+00:00

Thanks for clarifying. I am no expert on sex or DSDs. I meant I know that some people's sex as determined the scientific way (gamete production) is at odds with most of their physical traits. So I thought Semenya had ovaries but then otherwise a very high testosterone male-ish body. It sounds like in reality it's sorta he other way around - Semenya is biologically male but has some physical traits of women. If (s)he has testes and can produce sperm then that sounds pretty conclusively male to me!

luckystar · 2020-09-09T05:07:41+00:00

I'm confused -- is Caster Semenya biologically male or female? I thought their condition made them technically female but effectively male. Does anyone know the name of the condition?

luckystar · 2020-09-09T04:54:32+00:00

The height analogy always made the most sense to me. Like yes, if somebody is 6 ft tall, they are overwhelmingly likely to be male, but that doesn't mean we need to go schedule the entire WNBA for double mastectomies because "tall bodies are male bodies".

There's also the fact that if there were such a thing as "male brains" and "female brains", the occurrence of men with "female brains" and vice versa would disprove their existence, as they would no longer be "male brains" or "female brains" any more than 6 ft is a "male height".

Then there's the fact that even if somebody's brain did more closely match the opposite sex -- so what? The determination of sex, in terms of biology, which applies to wayyyyyy more organisms than just humans, relates to gamete size, nothing more, nothing less. Brains can have correlations with each sex but they are not any part of determining sex -- there are literally plants that are male or female, and they don't have brains at all. This is the same reason why the "sex is a spectrum" logic is flawed -- you can't be more female or less female: you might have more traits typically associated with producers of large immobile gametes, but having, say, a PCOS beard doesn't mean you're somehow "less female", it just means you have one body trait more commonly found in ejaculators.

luckystar · 2020-09-09T04:38:28+00:00

Oh man, I admire your courage. That paragraph would probably be a friendship-ender for many people I know. I'd have to couch it in terms of "even if she is a woman now, she's still a violent, predatory person that raped me as a teenager". What you write is correct, but not something I could just lead with, not in my part of the country at least.

luckystar · 2020-09-09T04:34:01+00:00

As a side note, it's interesting how the story of Mulan is interpreted differently by different audiences. In the West, it seems to be interpreted as a you-go-girl, women can do anything just as well as the boys can, female empowerment narrative. In China, the narrative is actually about filial piety -- the idea is that Mulan is so loyal to her father that when he is too ill to fight in the war, she goes to great lengths to fight in his place. The moral is kinda like "even this woman went to war out of respect for her elders, what's your excuse?"

Either way you look at it, Mulan being female is central to the story.

luckystar · 2020-09-09T04:29:21+00:00

I mean, in sports it's pretty obvious why there is an imbalance. TM don't really have a shot at participating against biological men, whereas TW will mop the floor with biological women.

The movement in general is so obviously male-dominated though. The fact that "trans women are women" is a set phrase and "trans men are men" is not tells you everything. Or that almost all the famous trans people are trans women. Or that trans men are not clamoring to get into male prisons like trans women are with women's prisons.

luckystar · 2020-09-09T04:21:29+00:00

I feel like sometimes the fundamental concept (men are categorically physically stronger than women & capable of impregnating women, thus we need safe spaces for women during times of vulnerability), which is really important, is often forgotten by society. But then the caveat (not literally every man is going to rape literally every woman, women being categorically physically more vulnerable doesn't mean we have to always be victims) seems to be lost on GC.

luckystar · 2020-09-09T04:18:48+00:00

You are detrans? Would you mind sharing what made you decide to transition/detransition? I've only recently learned how many detrans FTMTF women there are, seems more and more common...

luckystar · 2020-09-09T04:13:49+00:00

I was just complaining that it seems transfeminine healthcare is more advanced, but that might also just be my subjective and not really accurate impression.

Damn this is the most female-socialized wording ever. :( In general transmen/transbois online spaces read like they're full of women, I know socialization is a thing, it just makes me feel bad because they themselves are being gaslit into thinking they have some sort of "male privilege" when really being born female obviously is impacting them a lot.

I don't agree with some of the posters here saying "TIFs" are all confused or fetishizing. (Though this might be part of why I see myself as radfem aligned and not 100% in agreement?) I do believe some are in that boat -- detransitioners' stories tell us it's quite common especially for young women -- but I do think that some have genuine dysphoria and that just seems like a really rough condition to live with.

The way trans men get ignored while trans women are given all the spotlight just further proves to me that biological sex matters tbh. There's no other social movement where all the prominent spots are filled by women. I think even the people who claim to be the most pro trans, most "trans women are women" people ever, deep down DO know and treat trans women (=men) and trans men (=women) like other members of their biological sex.

The most pro TRA, non trans-identifying woman I know absolutely hates women because her mom was abusive, and she worships the ground her "trans woman" friends walk on. It's so obvious to me that she's just delighted in finding a way to continue self hating (hating women) AND be considered enlightened and progressive for it too. EVERYone gets treated like a member of their biological sex. This is even more true when we consider like 90% of trans people are not even slightly passing (I'm not saying this to be mean -- I live in an area with a ton of trans people and I have personally met at least a couple dozen... few pass, some do at first glance but if you take a second look you can tell).

luckystar · 2020-09-07T05:00:31+00:00

Original post:

The GSA is shitty I mean, people can do whatever they want. Every single person who attends our GSA is AFAB. Every single one, and most are cis. Currently I'm the only man in attendance but even I am trans. Where are all the men? Why don't they come to the club? We are deffinetly inclusive to men and welcome everyone LGBT or not. I think it's probably because A) it's a pretty homophobic state so a lot of guys don't come out especially if they are bi and can pretend to be straight B) there's no men there, it's a self perpetuating cycle. Women are generally less criticised for their sexuality and so I think a lot of women come out or accept themselves before college where as men tend more to find themselves in college.

I've heard a lot about this issue of cis men not attending GSAs and I feel kinda bad because I am a part of that issue but at the same time I hold this club together and I have a right to be there. I worked hard to get into the leadership position I'm in and I'm damn good at it, also I won it in a 12-0 vote. I'm just not sure how I'm going to help the club attract and retain male members, because cis gay and bi men really need the support our club offers.

luckystar · 2020-09-07T04:51:51+00:00

These people are narcissists, full stop. For every little thing they complain about, there are counterparts. There are tons of women that don't get their period for all sorts of reasons. There are women that have had hysterectomies, yet they don't demand "woman" be replaced with "people with uteruses". Hell we can extend this to everything else. We don't say "People without impaired vision" or "People who still have both legs" etc. ONLY trans activists are pushing this nonsense. Normal people see the words "man" and "woman" and understand what it means.

luckystar · 2020-09-07T04:45:38+00:00

“I didn’t believe that having periods would be a part of my lived experience,” Jones told NBC News. “I felt isolated; everything about periods was tailored to girls, yet me, a boy, was experiencing this and nothing in the world documented that.”

Who the FUCK was educating this child and told them they were a boy and not that they would have female biological functions??? This is such an egregious gap in education/parenting

"Having a period already causes me a lot of [gender] dysphoria, but this dysphoria becomes heightened when I have to shop for a product that is labeled as ‘women’s health’ and in most cases, is pretty and pink,” Jones explained.

Oh god forbid there be the color pink. As we all know, no man has ever worn pink.

luckystar · 2020-09-07T04:37:44+00:00

Honestly, we need to just start spamming that subreddit with images of burly gay men. "My girlfriend and I -- pre everything transbians, still valid girls". If lesbians can't have it then nobody should.

luckystar · 2020-09-07T04:33:48+00:00

I am a big fan of "trans women are not women; trans women are trans women and that's okay". They want to stop being "men", I could care less doesn't have anything to do with me. But they cannot enter the group called "women". We already exist; "women" is taken. The third option, carving out their own space, is one I would definitely support.

luckystar · 2020-09-07T04:24:20+00:00

I agree. Having kids makes it really fucking obvious that biology matters.

The other correlation I see is being familiar with/connected to a culture that is more openly misogynistic. White people seem to be really disconnected from the reality of stuff like female infanticide, FGM, etc

luckystar · 2020-09-02T04:23:33+00:00

Are there change rooms at a golf club? I didn't know that. Sounds like an awful situation for your aunt.

luckystar · 2020-09-02T04:21:37+00:00

I'm really despairing. I'm a lifelong Democrat voter and yet I cannot understand the party on this issue at all. It's so horribly regressive. This feels like the hugest gaslighting imaginable. I was looking for more info and found this

https://www.cwlc.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/CWLC-SB-132-Letter-of-Support-4.16.19.pdf

SB 132 will require CDCR to assign housing placement within a correctional facility according to a transgender person’s gender identity unless there are security concerns. By doing so, California will decrease the likelihood of violence against these individuals. The bill also requires that the preferred first name, gender pronoun and honorific of the incarcerated transgender individual be used by facility staff in all communications, and permits incarcerated transgender people to specify the gender of correctional officers who may conduct lawful body searches on them. CWLC’s mission is to break down barriers and advance the potential of women and girls through transformative litigation, policy advocacy and education. SB 132 will help ensure the safety and dignity of incarcerated transgender people. For these reasons, the California Women’s Law Center strongly supports SB 132.

How the FUCK is housing men(over 99% of rapists, over 90% of violent convictions) in women's prisons "advanc[ing] the potential of women and girls"? How the FUCK is forcing female officers to perform body searches on male inmates on demand supporting the rights of women?!

Do they really not see the risk here?! Put penis people in women's prisons, what the fuck do they think will happen? Seriously!

Who is OK with this, and how? Are they naive? Paid off? Severely out of touch with prison realities? A woman signed off on this letter. Why are women throwing each other under the bus like this??

I really feel like I'm losing my mind...

luckystar · 2020-09-01T17:59:29+00:00

The comments there are pretty sickening. It's all about what the trans person wants. Over and over "he [sic] might not want to use his vagina". Not one "As a gay man, it's okay for you to not like vagina". I guess only trans people are allowed to have boundaries.

luckystar · 2020-09-01T17:58:14+00:00

This definitely reads like it was written by a woman. Of course men can have that writing style too, but it does make me a bit curious.

luckystar · 2020-09-01T04:29:51+00:00

I live in a major coastal US city and I know sooo many people who literally think this is just "the new gay marriage". These are the same people who pin #BLM to their profile despite having no black friends, they say "BIPOC" even though nearly all the black people I know just want to be called black, they write "Latinx" even though actual Latin Americans don't use that term. Point is they mean well and think they're doing the right thing, but don't actually have much face to face experience with anything outside their bubble. These are the same people who were shocked when Trump won (I admit I was one of them!) because we literally did not know a single Trump voter.

They have NO IDEA all the stuff that is going on with gender ideology. They literally just parrot "trans women are women" because it's slotted into the default List of Progressive Values and nothing in their everyday life is going to directly challenge that.

There's also something to be said for the fact that the public generally has a good image of HSTS transsexuals, which is what everyone thinks of when they hear "trans woman". So they don't see the problem with what appears like basically extremely effeminate gay men being grouped together w/women.
The fact that men with AGP fetishes are capitalizing on this isn't really well understood yet by the public. A lot of people still think all trans women like men even.

luckystar · 2020-09-01T01:16:27+00:00

Yeah these questions are odd, I think the OP has radfems mixed up with like... conservative Bible thumpers.
The God question annoyed me too lol.

What I found especially funny is all the questions being like "Would it make you ANGRY and VIOLENT if a man were to wear a dress?". Like (A) No we think that is fine that is literally the entire point; (B) show me even one case of a radical feminist being violent to anyone, trans or otherwise.

luckystar · 2020-09-01T01:13:27+00:00

The questions are very awkward and many of them are written in a way where it's not possible to agree OR disagree. Is this for a school project or something?

luckystar · 2020-08-30T02:34:15+00:00

This argument is so weird. Like yes they're still a man by the dictionary definition but how many straight women or gay men would honestly want a partner who lost his penis in an accident? Maybe that's not politically correct to say but it's reality, people care about genitals in a partner.

luckystar · 2020-08-30T02:26:41+00:00

I noticed it too. The front page has a pro trans post almost every single day. Ffs there was that trans woman saying Animal Crossing made him trans and everyone was applauding how Stunning and Brave he was

luckystar · 2020-08-30T02:25:13+00:00

And Mermaids acts as if JK Rowling and other trans activist critics have NOT listened to trans children and young people when, in fact, we've listened too much.

THIS THIS THIS. The average person has no clue what's going on. Most of us are former "allies".

luckystar · 2020-08-28T17:59:55+00:00

Questions like these are hard because I think the only thing all women have in common is biological sex, so anything I can say will go back to biological sex. In that sense though, I do deeply respect mothers and I think it is amazing that we women can create and sustain life in our bodies. But I don't begrudge women who do not have children, either because they can't or because they don't want to.

luckystar · 2020-08-28T17:56:31+00:00

I don't have enough hard data to really comment on this, but the AGP types seem to be exclusively white which I find interesting.

luckystar · 2020-08-28T17:55:27+00:00

Basically never acceptable. I'm sure we could contrive some soap opera type storyline where some woman's dying wish is to have their sister carry their baby or something like that, but the reality is that in over 99% of cases, it's a poor woman literally being used as a baby incubator because she desperately needs money.

It reminds me of "wet nursing" during the slavery era.

Women's reproductive functions should not be commodified.

luckystar · 2020-08-28T17:24:06+00:00

Simple, they care about appearances above all and think they can "hide" it. Usually you hear of the family moving towns and the child starting school as their "new gender", going "stealth". You can't hide a child in a same sex relationship the same way.

luckystar · 2020-08-28T05:00:29+00:00

The suicide point drives me crazy. AFAIK people with other major mental illnesses such as borderline and schizophrenia also have very high suicide attempt rates, should we blame society for that too? What happened to "It isn't your fault, he was fighting his own demons, there is nothing you could have done" which is what we say when anybody else commits suicide? Why are ONLY trans people allowed to use their poor mental health to emotionally blackmail the rest of society?

It's also absurd because if bullying or discrimination was the sole/primary cause of the suicides, then why aren't other marginalized groups committing suicide at similar rates?

luckystar · 2020-08-28T04:53:32+00:00

Libfems, the stalker subreddit, and TRAs in general often chant that the existence of trans men makes all "T*RF" theory collapse. They only say that because they have only a superficial understanding of what radfems believe, and they've mostly been exposed to cherry picked examples of people using GC theory to further actual transphobia (stuff like the people who say literally every trans woman is a predator-- obviously if that was the only thing at hand then trans men wouldn't exist).

To clarify, I can only speak for myself really but I consider myself a radfem and I would absolutely include trans men and "AFAB" non binary people in my feminism. Obviously many (most?) of them won't want to be included, so I won't force it on them or anything, but I believe the goal of feminism is to fight for the rights of women as a sex class. I think oppression is based on something you can't change, and you cannot literally change your sex, therefore I still think trans women and "AFAB" non binaries are oppressed on the basis of their female sex.

There have been several recorded cases of men (both trans identified and not trans identified) raping pre/non-op trans men; male on female rape is inherently more dangerous and harmful than other forms due to the risk of pregnancy and the difference in physical strength between the sexes. In one case a trans woman raped a trans man while saying that they wanted the trans man to "have [his] non-binary babies". Even for people who claim to transcend biological sex, the laws of nature don't change.

So even if they don't want us to fight for them, I will fight for the rights of trans men. I don't think they're all confused lesbians or "betrayers of womanhood" or whatever. Some are indeed self hating lesbians or just self hating women period -- detransitioner stories tell us this. However I also believe that there exist trans men who have gender dysphoria and feel happiest living life "as a man", and I support their right to live their life the way that feels authentic to them.

Anyway, that was a huge foreword (mostly targeted at stalkers/lurkers) just to say: I find the focus on trans women to the exclusion of trans men in the trans movement a very telling example of how bio sex matters even in spite of gender identity. This prioritizing of trans women over trans men happens at all levels and in all directions (internal and external supporters). I can think of no other group of people for whom women's voices and concerns are consistently prioritized over those of men.

In my observation, the most prominent trans men (people like Buck Angel, Calvin Garrah, etc) are all realistic/accept that biological sex exists. It is more the trans women who want to pretend it doesn't exist. This to me strongly mirrors how white people say they "don't see race", whereas no non white person would say the same. When you're oppressed for something, you know you can't just ignore the reality that it's there.

The fact that "trans women are women" is a slogan while "trans men are men" is not (except as a half hearted after thought, ONLY after "trans women are women") is another sign.

The fact that r/askgaybros and other gay men subreddits are allowed to exist while lesbian subreddits are banned and the "trans inclusive" one left standing is overrun with "transbians" who dominate discourse, make every topic about their "girldicks", constantly require validation, etc.

The fact that we have people like Amanda Jette Knox gaining praise for centering her life around her male spouse's "journey to womanhood", whereas the "trans widows" are shamed -- women must stand by and support their man no matter what. But what of trans men? Where are the droves of middle aged moms deciding to go on T, grow a beard, call themselves "Aiden"? Imagine if these trans men actually existed -- what do you think their husbands would be expected to do? How many of their husbands would brainwash themselves into thinking they're gay? Or be shamed for not being 'supportive' of their spouse?

The way trans men are ignored, cast aside, and diminished by the very people who are supposed to be their community to me is just further stronger evidence that biological sex matters in a way one can't simply "identify" out of. The way women with families virtually never become trans men shows to me that biological sex matters.

luckystar · 2020-08-28T04:17:26+00:00

What is up with all the rude replies in this thread???

OP might have better luck over on Ovarit. I cannot believe that people here are seriously trying to call her bisexual or gaslight her further. Young lesbians nowadays are told they have to accept TWAW and accept the girldick; OP is struggling now with the disparity between TRA woke speak and material reality. That doesn't mean she's bisexual, it means she was the victim of homophobic conversion therapy passing itself off as "trans rights". She obviously isn't into men, and this man in particular is pretty horrible. She's using female pronouns because publicly (at least in progressive circles, especially among younger people) everyone will treat you like garbage if you don't "respect people's preferred pronouns". We can explain to her that it's okay to use biologically accurate pronouns here, not just shame her. If she can't get acceptance here where can she?

luckystar · 2020-08-28T03:25:05+00:00

There is a guy on reddit that got vaginoplasty while keeping his johnson. Not for medical reasons or anything, he just wanted to have both genitalia. Try and tell me that's not a man with a fetish who watched a bit too much of the hentais.

luckystar · 2020-08-28T03:18:42+00:00

It shouldn’t be this controversial to ask humans to treat other humans with respect.

Having sex with people or playing along with their delusions goes way way beyond "respect". What disingenuous language

luckystar · 2020-08-27T00:24:54+00:00

Don't forget never being able to have biological children, sexual desire/pleasure, or orgasm. We learned that fun tidbit from Jazz Jennings

luckystar · 2020-08-24T21:01:00+00:00

It's actually almost remarkable how they can flip logic on its head like this. Men are oppressed by women for wanting to ape the sexist stereotype men created of women. O-kay buddy.

It's interesting how the misogyny jumps out with some people once pressed further. I've seen so many MRA-esque "but women can be violent criminals too!" "what about women who rape men?" arguments when pressed.

One of my favorites was a person claiming that saying women are biologically categorically less strong/capable in terms of sports is "sexism". They always have an anecdote of one very strong woman they know that they assume could beat their scrawny ass (and the sad thing is the biological reality is that that woman may very well still lose to them in a fight, because T just gives men that much of an advantage). Exactly like the typical sexist Redditor "equal rights equal fights" cheering on women getting punched in subreddits like JusticeServed or whatever.
When push comes to shove they have to rely on MRA arguments to defend their points.

luckystar · 2020-08-24T16:56:38+00:00

Okay, show me examples of middle aged trans men in the south who were accepted by their conservative Christian husbands

luckystar · 2020-08-24T00:00:39+00:00

Yeah I would say that's more a misunderstanding than real attracted. Your average straight dude will be attracted to Blaire White from the waist up but reveal she has a male organ and most of them will feel repulsed. Likewise a gay guy can be attracted to Buck Angel from the waist up but the vagina's gonna be a pretty big deal breaker. We know both of them are non op but even supposing they got the surgery that'd still be a deal breaker for most people since those surgeries are not 100% replications of the real deal.

The analogy I make is of a sandwich (or pizza, etc). Let's say I love ham sandwiches, and I hate spicy foods. I see a mouth watering ham sandwich and am interested, then I bite into it and it has hot chili peppers in it.

Does wanting to eat this sandwich this mean I now like spicy foods? No, because what I saw was a ham sandwich, which I had no reasonable suspicion for it to be spicy.

Am I just gonna roll with it because "hey a ham sandwich is a ham sandwich"? Hell no, I'm gonna be grossed out by the chili peppers.

People feeling attraction to trans people doesn't mean their sexuality changed.

I do think some people can be like... let's say there's a 0-10 gay scale where 0 is straight, 5 is bi and 10 is gay. I think some men might be interested in sex w/a pre op trans woman because they're a 3 or 4 on that scale -- they're not equally attracted to both sexes like a 5 would be, but they're more open to male people than a 0. But most people would reasonably define anything from 2-9 as bisexual, since there are quite a lot of people grouped around 0 and a smaller but also substantial group of people around 10.

luckystar · 2020-08-23T23:50:17+00:00

You're right though. Maybe I need to process and accept that she may or may not be trans and I need to expect that. Hmmm. I can get behind it now that I'm beginning to change my frame of mind and how I was thinking of it. Thanks. 🙏🏼

Conversion therapy well underway for this one

luckystar · 2020-08-23T23:36:46+00:00

I'm honestly shocked Asian Americans even made this list, the phrase "BIPOC" seems built around saying "minorities, but not Asians, because Asians won't match the narrative I'm going for here"

luckystar · 2020-08-23T23:35:47+00:00

I think sport is how they say it in the UK. Like how they say maths instead of math.

luckystar · 2020-08-23T23:32:45+00:00

They turned off comments, but still got ratioed via likes vs. retweet w/comments

luckystar · 2020-08-23T23:29:36+00:00

I've been noticing this in general. Tons of middle aged dads coming out as trans women. Basically no middle aged moms doing the same. Why is it? Is it really just a fetish for the men (AGP)? Does childbirth make a woman kinda get a hint that biological sex does matter? Are there middle aged moms who want to go live as men but are socialized to put their family first so they don't get the idea of divorcing and running off and spending their entire income on hormones and surgeries?

luckystar · 2020-08-23T21:18:18+00:00

We're still talking about wives/mothers here. If you really think their husbands would be cool with that then we're probably at an impasse

luckystar · 2020-08-23T06:20:18+00:00

TwoXChromosomes mods regularly reference this post

The name "XX" is not meant to be specifically inclusive or exclusive of anyone. Look around our submissions and you'll see that we already have some guys in our midst, and we welcome them openly, as well as anyone else who wishes to be here, no matter their genes. This subreddit is not "girls only", but rather, a place for discussion on "girly things". Here, we embrace fashion, makeup, things that smell nice, and honest discussion on matters that largely--but certainly not ONLY--concern women.

If you are a man with a secret love of chick flicks and shoes, you're welcome here.

If your body is male but your mind is female, you're welcome here.

If you tell us to make you a sandwich, you're welcome here, but will be downvoted into oblivion.

If you offer to make us a sandwich, you're more than welcome here.

And if you're a woman who hates chick flicks and shoes, you're welcome here, though if you also abhor everything else girly I doubt we'll have much for you here.

So yeah, it was never a subreddit for women. Just a subreddit for "girly things" like "chick flicks and shoes".

luckystar · 2020-08-23T02:57:20+00:00

Masculinity experimentation is accepted? Really? You think the conservative Christian husbands in the South (remember this was the kind of situation the OP was about) wouldn't be complaining if their wives started getting double mastectomies, grew beards and go by Phil or Ted?

luckystar · 2020-08-23T01:21:20+00:00

Starting a family definitely made a HUGE difference for me in how I felt about feminism and women's issues. That's when it becomes really obvious that biological sex does matter.

luckystar · 2020-08-23T01:19:18+00:00

Suicide is never the fault of others. There are other ways to manage mental health problems besides immediately throwing all one's money and attention into pursuing the unachievable ideal of a female body. Maybe transition is a preferable treatment for some, but not at the sake of one's children.

I don't know how to explain to you that children are more important than the parents. This might also be a cultural divide or something, I know American culture often values the individual over the family unit. I will always put my family first, no matter the challenges. Please don't assume I'm not familiar with mental health needs either.

It is interesting how it's all these male born people abandoning their children to focus on their own needs, and yet they want us to believe they're women. Women would be so harshly judged by society for doing the same thing. It seems very rare that a middle aged mom comes out as a man. Any ideas why that might be?

luckystar · 2020-08-22T22:16:15+00:00

I just wanted to say I agree with you on 100% of what you said, especially the part where saying sex is a spectrum is an insult to a lot of "cis" people (it would imply that, for instance, a woman who gets a hysterectomy to relieve endo pain is "less of a woman"). It's interesting how many different outside groups and concepts TRAs are willing to trample in order to complete the mental gymnastics involved in defining trans women as "just another kind of woman". I agree with you on the concept of "social women" too, and honestly if they'd leave it at that we'd have a lot fewer problems.

The racism is just despicable. One time when somebody did the black women comparison I asked them who they thought had more similar DNA, a black woman and a white woman, or a white woman and a trans woman, and they actually said the trans woman and the white woman, but then it was like a lightbulb went off in their mind as they realized how racist the thing they just said was and how absurd it was. Not everyone is sharp enough to do that kind of self retrospection but sometimes you can walk people into recognizing their own faulty (and in this case racist) thinking for what it is. Another one I like to do is claim to be trans myself, the other person inevitably goes "Oh come off it you're not trans" and then I ask them how do they know? (Zuby does this to great effect).

Anyway... reddit is a very male dominated website, and that brand of liberal feminism (the one that promotes TWAW, sex work as a good career for women, pro porn/anti "kink shaming", pro surrogacy, etc etc) is very popular with men because all of those tenets benefit them. I'm glad we have this space and also Ovarit if you haven't been there yet, it's better than here.

luckystar · 2020-08-22T17:18:22+00:00

Point is, whatever they did to make it this far, they can continue further for the sake of their children's well being. I don't take kindly to the suicide threats -- that's just manipulative emotional blackmail. When anyone commits suicide, the family and friends are told "There was nothing you could have done, they were battling their own demons". If we don't blame the family for other kinds of suicides then we can't blame the family for gender/trans related suicides either.

luckystar · 2020-08-22T01:49:48+00:00

How did they make it this far without offing themselves you think?

luckystar · 2020-08-21T21:55:13+00:00

It is important that we do not apply our modern biases onto historical people and events. We aren't even settled on a definition of "transgender" nowadays(do non binary people count? non dysphoric? cross dressers?), so that makes it even less salient to historical analysis. It makes everything even more complicated when talk about female historical figures when we consider that until very recently, women's participation in the public sphere was EXTREMELY limited, and there were obvious incentives to present oneself as a man that had nothing to do with one's own identity.

One of my favorite historical figures, Qiu Jin, who fought for the end of footbinding, published the first women's newspaper in China, and was an important figure in the Chinese revolution, also dressed/presented as a man often, and fled her arranged marriage. If Qiu Jin were alive today, would she identify as a trans man, gender queer, non binary? Personally, I highly doubt that. But either way, that's a question we can't answer because those terms did not exist in her time, and thus it wouldn't be appropriate to use those terms. She just as likely would have been a woman who doesn't even wear men's clothing if not out of necessity. She wrote poetry about women's liberation and obviously her pet issues (like ending footbinding and promoting women's literacy) were about women. Being GNC or presenting as a man, for women in history, was often a survival skill. It really tells us nothing about the "gender identity" of these historical women who did not have the luxury of thinking of "gender" in such terms.

I'm just thanking god that my favorite historical figures are generally not white so the TRAs don't know they exist and thus won't try to posthumously trans them.

luckystar · 2020-08-21T21:35:07+00:00

I do not agree with cancel culture targeted at individuals, for several reasons:

It assumes that a person who makes a mistake (even a big mistake) is forever irredeemable, which I disagree with. People can and do change.
It shuts down the opportunity for dialogue, which means that neither side involved can learn anything from the other. Very rarely are issues black and white -- there might be one side that is "more correct" but the "incorrect" side might still have valid points, and the "incorrect" side might also be persuaded by the "more correct" side through dialogue.
It alienates and upsets the canceled person, causing them to retreat further into the view they held, seeking more sources that match their confirmation bias.
As a progressive, I don't like the idea of people losing their entire livelihood just for holding the wrong opinions. I think that just because a person might hold some reprehensible views, that doesn't mean they deserve to be unemployed or homeless. I think "cancel culture" is very classist in that the more you need a job, the less likely you are to express an opinion. The only reason why JK Rowling was able to create such a stir is because she has "fuck you money" -- who knows how many women agreed with her but didn't speak out because they need their jobs.
Along those lines, cancel culture has a chilling effect on public discourse in general. I mostly associate with people in the professional white collar class, and basically none of them use social media because the risks to one's career of accidentally saying the wrong thing aren't worth it. Again, this contributes to the siloing effect, as our friends may hold opposing views that we won't be exposed to.
Why is the chilling effect so strong? One reason is because the social zeitgeist around what is "politically correct", especially among progressive circles, is always changing rapidly. Some examples of "new words": BIPOC (instead of POC), gender confirmation surgery (instead of SRS or GRS), Latinx (instead of Latino), these are all upgraded "more politically correct" versions of words that were already considered politically correct previously.

Anyway, about the movie itself, above explains why I don't think the director or anyone involved should be "canceled". As for the movie itself, I'm less concerned about whether or not it gets "canceled" because movies aren't humans. I'd take more of a laissez faire approach. Assuming it's a bad movie, it will flop and that will be the end of it. If the movie actually contains pedophilic content then yes it should be illegal to produce. I don't think any sane person would be opposed to laws against child porn. But I don't see the need to prevent a movie from coming out just because the content is in poor taste, that's a bit too much of a slippery view for my liking.

luckystar