Dems torn over transgender issue: Centrists worry that party is ‘reading the public wrong’

peakingatthemoment · 2024-11-14T00:28:45+00:00

Hey Worried! It’s great to see you too! :)

Yes, I miss it too. It’s so sad we couldn’t get more QT people to come there... I still lurk on Ovarit and see your comments sometimes, but I don’t really comment much because it probably isn’t appropriate. Hope you are doing well! <3

peakingatthemoment · 2024-11-13T20:50:23+00:00

I’m so happy to see Democrats are looking at this!!! Their views on child transition, sports, and prisons have been terrible for years, but they’ve just been too captured. Plus, our system is so binary and I feel like when Republicans do something many Democrats want to go extreme in the other direction. I feel like if I starts to change there will be a lot of pushback from the TRAs, but I hope the opposition stays strong. Most regular people don’t want these things and so many people who support it don’t understand what it actually is. I’m glad Kamala didn’t really talk about it in her campaign, but the party can do a lot better and stop the harm.

peakingatthemoment · 2023-08-31T14:40:05+00:00

There are so many contradictions. :( “Cis” was a mistake. I understand wanting to be real, but adding a prefix to the actual thing doesn’t actually help at all and it’s wrong to force that on people.

peakingatthemoment · 2023-05-16T15:20:58+00:00

Hi BiologyIsReal! I’m very grateful for the work you did as a mod and I’ve always expressed that! I don’t just feel like it’s helpful for me to insert myself into this disagreement between you two that has gone on for like a year. It would just cause more drama. Sorry if that offends you… <3

peakingatthemoment · 2023-05-15T23:55:51+00:00

Hi Beris, sorry I’m not more active and I appreciate your efforts. You’ve done more moderation of GC posters (and in general for awhile) than anyone has. <3

I feel like GC here is so jaded, they often come out really strong and scare people away. The moderated poster in particular should just post this stuff on Ovarit and not here I feel like. I guess there might be something satisfying to say it to trans person, but it doesn’t help us keep people around.

peakingatthemoment · 2023-05-15T23:48:37+00:00

If it is true that you "pass" as a woman completely, I mean, you "pass" 100% and no one ever could tell you are actually "transsexual" by looking at you, then why do you mind if Republicans want to ban all males from the women's restrooms at all?

This is such a great point!!! I’m always confused about the panicking. I remember visiting North Carolina when they had their trans bathroom bill, but I didn’t think twice about it because, why would I? Passing means none of these things apply to you. I guess you can be concerned, but it wouldn’t be for yourself, would it?

peakingatthemoment · 2023-05-07T21:52:02+00:00

Meant to say welcome also! Good to see more folks here especially those who are not purely GC. Glad to have you here!!!

peakingatthemoment · 2023-05-07T21:36:05+00:00

Can GC and TS exist with compromises and will GC speak up if Republican men in power make it illegal to be trans and try and make the past a reality again?

Do you actually think this is happening? I don’t think it’s possible to make being a transsexual illegal, but I don’t love the attention it is getting. Trans activists are the reason for this of course. If they weren’t pushing ridiculous things then no one would be as focused on it I feel like. I don’t agree with a lot of things republicans do, but I don’t even think it’s possible for them to ban transsexuals. The Missouri law is positive because it adds more reasonable gatekeeping that should have been there all along I feel like. I received many years of therapy from all different types of therapists before I started medical transition. That’s not a bad thing. Your banning concern just seems so hyperbolic though… I just don’t see how it can be banned. 🤷‍♀️

peakingatthemoment · 2023-02-14T15:28:03+00:00

No, even if there was like perfect 3D printed females parts for males like me, we would still be male. I don’t think actual sex change will ever be possible, but even if it was we would still have the history of our lives before it that would be different than someone who was born that sex.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-12-27T14:05:35+00:00

Maybe I’m missing something, but what would be creepy, wrong, or disrespectful towards women about a boy receiving earrings for Christmas? I don’t think that GC would have a problem with that.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-12-14T04:17:09+00:00

I’m here, but wish there was more conversation. There aren’t many genuinely QT folks left. Miss talking with you all. I wish people who create threads would respond to more of the comments. 🤷‍♀️

peakingatthemoment · 2022-12-05T03:18:53+00:00

No, those are totally different things I feel like. Trans people might be more likely to be TRAs or more interested in the issue because they are trans, but it’s not all.
I guess, but what rights or protections do trans people not have? I feel like TRAs are the only ones saying trans people are missing them.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-11-26T21:30:47+00:00

I feel like I probably worded this badly, sorry! Being a transsexual is medical condition because of what happens our bodies, not like pre-transition. Like, I don't produce sex hormones naturally and, even though I am male, I've had high levels of estrogen and some progesterone for most of my life. My genitals were also surgically changed to be more like the sex I felt like I was. How bodies are different is different for different transsexuals, but we aren't like regular people of our sex any more. Maybe at first things are reversable, but it doesn't take long before they aren't. That's why I say it is a medical condition. It doesn't make sense to treat transsexual bodies medically the same way as a normal person their age of either sex.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-11-21T17:02:38+00:00

Oh wow, it’s a complicated question!! My belief currently is that gender dysphoria is a mental illness, but there a multiple causes for it and not all gender dysphoria is the same. It could be a medical condition too, but we don’t know that it is currently even though being a transsexual is a medical condition. My beliefs are strong just because of being a transsexual and being aware and involved with this issue for so long, but that doesn’t mean they wouldn’t change if we learned more. Some thing I’ve experienced personally I probably couldn’t be convinced on though. Like, no one can convince me gender/sex dysphoria isn’t real or that transwomen don’t commit sexual assault.

Does what gender dysphoria is matter for whether male bodied people should be in women’s spaces though? Even if a transwomen was 100% proven to be a “female” brain in a male body, women could still have issues with male bodied people in women’s spaces. I use some women’s spaces just in the world and I’m very much not comfortable with a visibly male person or person with intact male genitals being in space where I am vulnerable.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-11-19T00:14:29+00:00

I didn’t know that pansexual had become “transphobic.” I’ve heard about bisexual being “transphobic”, but I think it’s stupid. 😂

Just out of curiosity (feel free not to answer if it is too personal), why do you prefer biological men to mtfs (also biological men, but 🤷‍♀️)? I guess just based on the others things you said I would have guessed the opposite.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-11-05T15:38:58+00:00

I don't think kids socially transitioned are any more "locked-in" than kids who are told their gender is their birth sex and others use corresponding pronouns.

I don’t think it is more “locked-in” either, but I think it matters what you think is better too. Many of us feel like it is better for someone to be able to live as their sex and not have to alter their bodies in ways that sterilize them, decrease their life expectancy, and require permanent medication. If someone can successfully be “locked-in” to accepting their sex, that seems like a good outcome. If someone needs to transition to be okay, trust me, no amount of not affirming will make that go away. That person will still be able to transition, but we won’t be creating life-long medical patients from people who would have otherwise desisted. That’s how I feel about it at least. Transition should be treated as the last resort so it’s dangerous to do social transition at early ages because it leads to medicalization almost all the time. That isn’t what we should want for kids and it’s super sus to me that many seem to want that.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-10-29T13:27:11+00:00

I guess it was my mistake in assuming you were actually providing studies that would support your point. A cohort study without a control group that follows up for one year doesn’t tell us anything.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-10-28T20:36:32+00:00

I do believe the science and that’s why I hold the position I do. The studies being pushed to support your position are seeking those outcomes and, as a result, usually use very flawed methods. The first one you linked doesn’t even have a control group…

I wish you wouldn’t continue use the right wing or christians in your comments to try to tarnish us. I am not right wing, christian, or homophobic and I don’t agree with those people. I’m also not a reactionary so I won’t support or oppose things based on whether people I don’t like support or oppose them.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-10-28T20:04:10+00:00

Do you really think I hate trans people? I’m literally a transsexual and was a feminine boy who had dysphoria. My beliefs about are very much informed by compassion and empathy toward children experiencing those things.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-10-28T13:32:29+00:00

Succumbing to political pressure is how we found ourselves in this mess! Trans activist’s have been pushing treatments on gender nonconforming and gender dysphoric children that aren’t backed by science because they feel like those are the treatments they would have wanted when all data indicates people who present with gender dysphoria during or after puberty are a different group! Finland, Sweden, and Denmark have been doing these treatments longer than the U.S. has and have found watchful waiting has better outcomes. Some gender dysphoric children will persist into adulthood, but most desist during puberty if they go through it naturally and aren’t affirmed. The treatment that trans activists are pushing does real harm to children, many of whom would grow up to be LGB, and I’m proud to stand with women, feminists, and LGB people in opposing it. I just hope that we return to sanity sooner rather than later so fewer kids are harmed. It’s heartbreaking. :(

peakingatthemoment · 2022-10-27T03:12:11+00:00

This is really wonderful news!!! I really hope more countries start taking a similar approach. I worry the USA might be one of the last because of how money driven everything is here.

Even if some kids grow up to be transsexual, most will grow out of it and become comfortable with their natural bodies. It is so much better than surgery and a lifetime of hormones. If someone still has to transition to be okay after puberty, they will be able to make that decision. Transitioning has so many downsides, I just can’t understand why so many seem to want to push it on kids.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-09-18T00:02:56+00:00

Like pseudo bisexual autogynephilia by proxy, something like that. Where transwomen who are attracted to transwomen are interpreted as being attracted to a person who confirms their identity.

I don’t understand this, but why wouldn’t it just be because many transwomen are GAMPs? GAMP and AGP overlap a bunch I feel like.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-09-17T15:55:15+00:00

Straight, but with issues or a fetish. They don’t act like gay men. Like you say, many have AGP or other fetishes.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-09-04T15:23:58+00:00

Yes, it’s probably better, but is it always possible? I don’t know. Dysphoria is real and I don’t know if self-acceptance is always enough. Maybe it is for some people and that is wonderful. It’s better I feel like not to transition, but some people have to I feel like to be okay. You could be authentically you without modifying your body, but you would still have dysphoria and that is really hard.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-07-15T21:11:02+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing!!! Wow, those sound like close relationships!

Feel free not to answer if this is too personal, but did this person you dated identify as trans before you started dating or did they begin identifying during the relationship? Everyone is different and I don’t know if they were FTM, NB, or MTF, but I’m just curious if there was anything super different for you compared to dating someone who wasn’t trans?

peakingatthemoment · 2022-07-15T20:57:58+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing!! Out of curiosity, are in you more LGBT spaces? Feel free not to answer if that is too personal. I don’t know anything about you obviously, but I could see maybe encountering so many if you are in those spaces, but maybe even just being in a major city means you probably know quite a few now lol. I’m glad you were able to have discussions. Were trans people generally willing to debate with you or were they more hostile? I know there is a reputation that they aren’t open to debate. Meeting trans people can totally your dispel your illusions (if you had them) about gender ideology I feel like. For me, encountering trans people in support groups really erased my ability to believe in the born in the wrong body type gender ideology because of how many of them behaved. I’m glad you still feel compassion at times even you hold to your beliefs and boundaries. I wish this issue/movement didn’t encroach on women’s rights the way it does.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-07-15T20:34:49+00:00

Thanks you so much for sharing!!! That’s interesting growing up around a TW. Do you remember how you thought about them as a child? Feel free not to answer if that is too personal. It makes sense that the mentality was different. It’s nice you at least had some positive experience. I feel like different people are transitioning than did in the past maybe or just it is all a lot more demanding than it was or both. It’s understandable that those interactions with trans people now would push you to be GC. I feel like the thing that makes me feel most ashamed for being a transsexual is that so much gaslighting, toxicity, and actual harm is coming from trans people and the movement/ideology around it now.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-07-07T19:28:53+00:00

By transitioning, you're committing a wrongdoing against either the group you're trying to enter or the group you're trying to leave, or possibly both - for all the reasons that normally apply to this kind of chicanery, that you would recognize if it was any other group.

Can you explain this a little more? I don’t quite understand the wrongdoing especially with “the group you are trying to leave.” It totally understand how someone could be doing harm to “the group you're trying to enter”, but maybe not always? I assume by entering or leaving groups you just mean socially, because you can’t actually change your sex.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-06-30T21:14:01+00:00

This is such a weird way of thinking about it. Is this something you think motivates males to transition or is it something that motivated you? I’ve heard hatred towards men or maleness from people like Derrple and others a lot, but I don’t relate to that. The patriarchy exists, toxic masculinity exists, and many men behave badly, but I don’t think any of that has to with why I’m trans (obviously I can’t really know how I would have been in a world where feminine boys were treated better or felt like we fit, but dysphoria is real). I like men and don’t think they are all bad people just because they are male or think I am bad because I am male, even if I wish I wasn’t. I feel like this question says a lot about you…

peakingatthemoment · 2022-06-28T21:10:14+00:00

My usage of the word "trans" in that sentence didn't modify the word "woman" at all. That was my point. It added additional information, but the information provided by the word "woman" was unchanged.

Do you know what an adjective is?

peakingatthemoment · 2022-06-28T03:45:33+00:00

It’s always been weird about trans women getting upset about about biological definitions of women, because like, if they didn’t already know that for most people woman meant adult human female, they wouldn’t want to be considered that so badly. They really don’t want that to go away.

I don’t know if I understand the private definitions. Do you mean like how people use words actually?

peakingatthemoment · 2022-06-28T03:35:23+00:00

I don’t have any power so no one really has to care what I think. For transsexual, a lot of people would use terms like pre-op, post-op, or non-op describe whether someone wanted or had surgery. I feel like non-op are probably different than me, but I don’t really control any language. Transphobia in 2022 just seems like a nonsense idea. I don’t think most current trans identified people now have any idea how normalized all this is compared to years ago. People without any power even talking about having less people transition are being accused actual of genocide. 😂

I feel like if it is just some internal feeling though like no one has to respect it. I know my dysphoria and sense of self is real, but other people might not believe that (and they shouldn’t have to) or just think I was a confused gay man. At least if it is treated as a mental illness with diagnostic criteria, questioning and observation from professionals, and gatekeeping, that makes it something more than just a feeling. Plus, it keeps anyone but people who genuinely can’t function otherwise from pursuing this because hopefully they wouldn’t go through it or would be recognized as being something else. It seems weird that we treat this one set of medical treatments, being done to otherwise healthy bodies, like something people can just choose to do rather than a treatment you receive because it is necessary like most other medical treatment.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-06-26T15:42:02+00:00

Obligatory not QT, but trans. Trans ideology doesn’t make sense and is full of contradictions. Calling someone a trans woman for a QT person would be more about their intentions or stated identity I guess. I don’t know if it really makes sense otherwise. If a male alters their body and is able to pass to people as female they are going to exist in society being treated as a female in most ways, regardless of how they identify. Likewise, if a male identifies as a trans woman, but it still seen as a male person I don’t think that identity means very much in the real world and I’m not sure why anyone has to care. Even people who support trans ideology recognize the difference between males and females, but are choosing to act a certain way to help some trans people feel better. I don’t think any of them stop recognizing sex or realizing it makes in difference in how people are treated unless they are actually insane. Trying to make everyone play along with something that they don’t believe deep down isn’t a good way to make things better for anyone I feel like.

I feel like it used to be that we used terms that made sense like transsexual. That at least means someone has altered their body to mimic the other sex as much as possible rather than just being something about feelings or intentions. A transsexual is something you can actually be that isn’t just about something supposedly in someone’s mind, it can actually matter in the world. I feel like if we use terms like trans it should be to refer to transsexual, but obviously that is a unpopular view now and many would says it’s transphobic.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-06-12T14:55:34+00:00

Hi loveSloane! Thank you for the unrelated note! 😉

I finished watching “What is a woman”. It was better than I thought it would be and made good case for how nonsense the current trans rights stuff is. The first scene with his son and daughter was so bad and made me feel like it was going to just going to erase gender nonconformity and dysphoria, but they did get discussed some. Scott Newgent was probably my favorite person he interviewed. Overall, it made me feel hopeful like maybe we are getting to the end of this craziness. I hope more people see it. I wish he had interviewed GC feminists, but he is a conservative and that would go against blaming feminists for this I guess.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-06-10T13:58:58+00:00

Glad it addresses important thing! I may try to watch it this weekend. Do you have the link you could DM me?

peakingatthemoment · 2022-06-08T00:24:11+00:00

I’ve thought about watching it, but it’s hard to get past it being from Matt Walsh. He doesn’t care about women rights at all. Literally was celebrating the leaked ruling taking away rights to control our bodies. Maybe I’ll get the nerve eventually if I can do it without giving him money.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-06-08T00:19:41+00:00

Sorry if I misunderstood your intention… I haven’t read the whole thread. Yes, no surgery can change your sex. I didn’t realize derrple was thinking that. Literally this bottom surgery uses different parts to create things and it doesn’t function the same way other than for the basic sexual stuff and even then I’m sure it’s different. I still have zero idea what any of that is like for females and I know it’s not the same. It important to be honest about that and it’s sad to read when people pretend it is.

Edit: I see you deleted. I truly hope this wasn’t because of my reply. If you read this, I hope you will reconsider. Your voice here, especially as a desister, is really important. Take care!

peakingatthemoment · 2022-06-08T00:04:30+00:00

Do you want to live in fear? I want to be mostly stealth too, but the genie isn't going back into the bottle I'm afraid. I'd rather have modern recognition and protections and quietly live my life on top of that.

I don’t feel like I have a choice totally, but I try not to think about it. Even though I don’t think there is much for fear about rights, I still wouldn’t want to be out because it would just different after that and I like being a normal woman (socially, obviously not biologically). Basic rights for me already existed prior to any of this push I feel like. 20 years ago you could still get treatment and change your identification. How is this push helping us?

I mean yeah, the right to transition should be for everyone, not just trans people, if they really want it. The right to exogenous hormones should be universal imo. And even the right to live a private life and not have your genitalia revealed to anyone who asks is not just for trans people.

Wow! That is not what I meant. I feel we need more gatekeeping, not less. People shouldn’t be getting these treatments without lots of counseling the ruling out other issues. I’m not for informed consent or self-medicating or any of that. Anyone who would go through any of this without chronic untreatable severe gender dysphoria has something else majorly wrong with them or is a creep who should be kept away from others.

I don't think hiding is a great longterm strategy. We can't rely forever on being in the shadows. We need to stand up and say that we aren't going away and that we won't let anyone take transition from us, if we want to stand a chance.

There was no talk of taking anything away from us until this push. I feel like that is the reason it is happening. If we had just kept quiet we’d still be just quietly transitioning and going on with life.

Less negative than doing nothing? I'd be so much more miserable without HRT.

Transition was very positive for me and I don’t know if I’d be alive without it, but that doesn’t mean I think it right for other people or something I would promote. It has a lot of downsides. If someone can exist with their natural body, they should do that. If they can’t, then they’ll figure that out themselves. They don’t need my permission.

if my existence as trans is a problem for cis people, then they better deal with it. because there's nothing wrong with being who we are.

I really wish I could feel this, genuinely, I wish I could see this the way you do.

I think it heralds a new era of greater body modification and autonomy, so I don't really see it as a problem exactly idk.

Oh dear… you really lose me with the trans humanism stuff.

Cuz it kinda sucks...also I didn't know what trans people were until I was nearly an adult. Nowadays people are more likely to know transition is an option before they personally feel it's too late. The bar for them to decide to transition is thus lower.

This is just so hard to I understand for me and I promise I’m not trying to be difficult... I feel like literally you do this when it is the only way you can have a functioning life, not cuz something kinda sucks. People don’t appreciate the trauma some of us experienced. It just seems so trivializing that it’s something someone could just decide to do.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-06-07T23:14:28+00:00

I’ve known u/derrple for a few years since the old debate sub. They’ve already made permanent decisions and probably don’t agree with me on much anyway in much anyway. I’m probably not the best person to talk someone out of surgery either because it was the right choice for me. It helped my life immensely. I doubt I would happily married with family now if I hadn’t done that. That doesn’t mean it would be right for most people or their couldn’t be complications and it’s probably better if you could cope with natural genitals because surgery isn’t perfect, but if you can’t it helps a lot and can make dating much easier. I know no one wants hear that, but it was true for me…

peakingatthemoment · 2022-06-06T23:25:30+00:00

I feel like grooming is definitely happens, but I'm less convinced about pornography being a huge factor in trans identity. I understand why radical feminists in particular want to focus on that, but I just haven't heard many detransitioners say that. Anime seems like it is connected though just because of how many trans identified people now are so into it. Yaoi too.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-06-06T22:39:01+00:00

Nice to see you!

No, it's not.

I feel like more people being trans has been bad. It was better imo when we just mocked us with jokes and most people thought they never met one of us. I don't want us to have the attention. I just want to quietly live like I have. Also, more people transitioning isn't good because transition isn't the best.

We have a right to be trans and transition, I'm done thinking being trans is a miserable or negative situation, it isn't.

We don't need any special rights to be trans. If HRT didn't exist I would be trying to live the same life, just maybe not as well. Obviously, it helped that hormones and surgery existed, but I don't think it's possible to take those things away. I feel if anything putting all this attention to us puts those things more at risk.

I feel like being trans in the way I am trans is negative because I can't have a baby and have to take medication forever. If you don't think that is negative, then we just disagree.

She called all of us, happily transitioned or not, detransitioned or not, a problem to a sane world. Idk how you can possibly spin that.

Maybe this is my internalized transphobia (lol), but I feel like we are a problem! I understand why she says that. The only way someone like me fits is just by being under the radar. Being trans means I don't fit otherwise and I've accepted that.

The number of documented lgb people has gone up over time as well too.

Yes, it has, but the growth in the number of trans people has just been so huge. I literally remember when it was 1/20,0000. They are all over the place now. I don't think you can possibly compare it to increasing LGB people.

With greater access to transition comes less of a reason to stay in the closet for many. Nothing more.

I feel like it you had a choice to stay in the closet, I sort of feel like you aren't trans... If you could literally fit into the world as your sex why not do that. It just seems so much easier...

peakingatthemoment · 2022-06-06T21:16:41+00:00

Glad there is some activity! Nice to see the Derrple came by!

Wanting fewer people to be trans seems like a good thing. I just feel like being trans isn’t the best situation and if someone has the choice not to be, they should do that. That was how I interpreted it. The numbers of trans people have just exploded in the last decade or so and it’s hard to believe that is just something happening naturally, especially with social media playing the role it does.

I feel like she was very empathetic in the clip and not at all against people like me. I wonder how many people who are freaking out didn’t watch it…

peakingatthemoment · 2022-05-28T21:10:25+00:00

I feel like WPATH has been bad for awhile. This doesn’t surprise me at all sadly.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-05-22T14:06:52+00:00

Gender critical feminism has a relationship with masculinity that defines it's audience.

What do you mean by this? I do feel like many Rad Fems are super anti femininity and feel like it only exists to keep women oppressed.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-05-22T13:58:42+00:00

It's true that there is no a medical condition equivalent to gender dysphoria, but I'll argue that is because anti-racism groups have been more successful in arguing against "transracialism" than feminists have been in arguing against "transgenderism".

Thanks for replying! Do you think there actually is a “race dysphoria” condition? I guess I view gender dysphoria differently because it’s something that I know is real. I feel like someone could believe that and not necessarily believe in trans ideology though. It could just be a mental illness that should be treated with therapy or that the person could be taught to live with.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-05-14T03:25:00+00:00

I feel like Oli London and people like that are just super addicted to plastic surgery and body modification. I remember reading on the old GC subreddit about other people (usually men) like that who were super into body modification and then became trans. It’s hard to take any of it seriously.

I’m not QT, but since no one is responding I will try to play the devil's advocate. Being transgender is different than being transracial because it is a diagnosed condition. When I was diagnosed, it was called gender identity disorder. It is a real issue that some people experience. Transracialism isn’t like that that we know of.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-05-02T16:05:07+00:00

Thank you for defending trans people being parents! Sorry the people on Ovarit were so hostile to that.

I don’t think trans people are uniquely unfit to be parents or something like that. There are lot of non-trans people who aren’t great parents, but still have the right to reproduce if they choose to and trans people can be good parents. I made a thread about my own adoption stuff awhile ago that some interesting discussion in it I feel like.

https://saidit.net/s/GCdebatesQT/comments/77ke/both_disclosure_around_adoption/

It’s confusing about the sex dysphoria aspects with trans people who reproduce traditionally. I know it’s something I never could have done with my dysphoria (also orientation lol). Anyway, trans is broader now and doesn’t just include people with that dysphoria.

Hopefully we can get to a world where kids aren’t being sterilized. I’m not sure how much I feel like peoples autonomy should be restricted that way. Reproductive capability such an important thing and may not matter to you when you are young, but can mean a lot later. Assuming I had the ability before, I had a surgery when I was 18 that made it no longer possible and I feel like that wasn’t old enough to appreciate what that meant (even if it never would have worked for me, it’s sad to be a biological dead end). Kids would be even less likely to understand and, if you don’t experience puberty, I don’t even know if you fully develop a sexuality. We are still growing and the things we want can change. I don’t know the perfect solution. :(

peakingatthemoment · 2022-04-18T23:21:07+00:00

That seems pretty bad, but it isn’t surprising with all the anti-gatekeeping attitudes and so many current transitioners being super online. I’ve heard of people self-medicating before and it is not a good idea. American healthcare should be better, but it shouldn’t be used as an excuse to put yourself in danger. Like BiR said, don’t post the link.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-04-18T23:12:59+00:00

So, I feel like AGPs control a lot and I’m going to say why, but I also want to say that is was never a trans activist in any way and I haven’t really been in trans communities in a long time, so my perspective is limited. That said, AGPs seemed like the dominant group in nearly any trans space I was in. I feel like it’s part of what makes trans spaces really toxic, especially for HSTS types.

First, AGPs are just much more common of the types so the things that are important to them are what get focused on. I feel like they are much more hardline about, sports, childhood transitions and wanting more people to be trans (I don’t know if that’s the right way to say it), than people like me are. I don’t know many people like me though so maybe that’s most trans people. I feel like maybe it’s wanting to live vicariously, like they are depressed and feel like there lives would have been better if they transitioned sooner so they want to see other people transition. It’s weird. To me, transitioning is like the best of a series of bad choices available at times, but never something you should want for someone. It’s not the best.

Second, trans groups and, I assume, trans activism ends up being mostly people who can’t pass or fit in in regular society. I feel like if you pass and are able to just exist being seen as your sex, you just would rather do that without having to deal with any trans stuff for the most part. That’s how I feel, at least, so most people in those groups can’t fit in so they feel like they need to make the world change. AGPs don’t tend to fit in as well or pass as well, regardless of age, just because of not being naturally feminine (I know someone people will say that isn’t a thing, but it tends to be for HSTS types).

Finally, most of the time they are just more aggressive and assertive too. Part of this could be that many or older and just have navigated the world as men more. They also may have experience more of that typical more toxic socialization because they are straight. I’m sure they are aggressive HSTS too, but it seems like less.

Does this make sense?

peakingatthemoment · 2022-04-08T20:17:56+00:00

I’m not sure what you mean by changing your gender identity but changing your gender legally would create all sort of problems for you I feel like. It don’t really know what is involved with it now, but it used to require be a lot of work too with needing letters from doctors and surgeons. I’m sure with the push for self-ID, it is probably much simpler, but it stills seems like it would be super disruptive to do it just to make a point.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-03-19T23:16:40+00:00

My understanding was that most ROGD teens are opposite-sex attracted. Part of what was unusual about the trans-identified peer groups in Litman’s original study is that they weren’t of the GNC lesbian type that was typical previously more for trans identification in females. I’m sure some ROGD teens could be lesbians, but it wasn’t my impression it was most. I don’t mean to say at all that I think the motivations or risks at the same as males appropriating lesbian identities, but it doesn’t make sense to me to say there isn’t any appropriation of gay male identities. There are other factors too so I’m not saying that as like it’s something super malicious they are doing, but it feels like we have to acknowledge that a little.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-03-19T20:12:27+00:00

I feel like ROGD teen girls are very much deserving of sympathy and I would not agree with most of what Snow said, but my understanding is ROGD types are often trying to appropriate gay male identities, even if it’s often through a super distorted lens (like Yaoi for instance). The underlying reasons for it are different than AGPs appropriating lesbian identities for instance, but everything I’ve read about ROGD makes me think that is a part of it often times. Am I wrong?

peakingatthemoment · 2022-03-19T00:03:04+00:00

I feel like I agree with what it is trying to address, but it doesn’t seem right for the state to go after parents who are probably meaning well and just listening to advice about how to best help their child. Some of them probably are genuinely bad people or living out something through their children, but not most. We should move to care standards that are more like what Sweden recently did, but this seems like overreach to me. It makes me wonder if my parents would have been targeted under this since I socially transitioned and received hormone treatment as a minor.

Trans activism seems largely to blame for laws like this to me though. Years ago, some younger trans people would quietly get treatment and live their lives, but TRAs choose to turn this into such a political issue I feel like. I know that conservatives are pushing it now, but I feel like it’s a reaction to how much this is being pushed rather than something that would have happened anyway. I feel like conditions were better for transsexuals during Bush rather whatever nonsense moment this is. I don’t know why TRAs felt like the world needed to change. It didn’t. We were fine. We didn’t need “cis”, the pronoun nonsense, males in women’s sports, trans toddlers, or all these creeps coming out as trans. This backlash is well-deserved unfortunately.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-03-18T23:41:08+00:00

Hi Fleurista, sorry I’ve been so slow to respond! This is an interesting topic!

Do you think trans people tend to be more inflexible in thinking and openness to new experiences overall than non-trans people? Do you think maybe only certain types of trans people or people with trans identities do?

I don’t really know. I feel like some trans people who are very gender focused might be more inflexible in their thinking. It probably isn’t like one group of trans people who could be like that though. A lot of us may have experienced being raised with really traditional ideas about gender and being trans doesn’t necessarily break those for you. I feel like other things in life can, but if you just think you are the wrong sex that’s more of a reinforcement than breaking them down. I’d don’t really know that many trans people well enough to know though. A lot of people are inflexible or lack openness to new things in general, so it’s hard to know if trans people would be better or worse overall.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-03-13T17:00:04+00:00

Genitalia is genitalia, regardless if it's a penis, vagina or something ambiguous.

This is super surprising to me. Is this really how you feel? Having a penis in a space where I am undressed or changing clothes would make me very uncomfortable. Has it happened to you? Also, how would the trans person be comfortable doing that? I have some experience with this because I had a penis for part of my life. Never in a million years would I have felt comfortable exposing it to someone, anyone, even sexual partners if I could avoid it. This is because I had dysphoria and it made me tremendously uncomfortable being there to the point I could become physically sick if I had to expose myself, even at a doctor’s for instance. Why is this person seemingly fine exposing themselves this way, as a trans person? I guess I do feel like if you aren’t dysphoric then, whatever is happening with you is something I guess, but you aren’t trans and shouldn’t be hiding behind that. It just seems like creeping to me.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-03-06T15:49:04+00:00

Saw this on Ovarit and thought it might be an interesting topic. There was another article on this topic a few years ago.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1363460719876835

It’s a weird thing to think about. I wish there was more information about how old people were when they transitioned or what their background was. I will be old someday and I feel like like this wouldn’t happen, but, the fact it is happening for some people, really should make anyone question just accepting these identities as innate.

This is also worrying! https://www.alz.org/aaic/releases_2021/transgender-adults-cognition.asp#:~:text=However%2C%20it%20is%20known%20that,are%20also%20linked%20to%20an

peakingatthemoment · 2022-03-06T15:31:55+00:00

Hi Worried, it definitely seems like it is dying. I miss having more activity too. I felt like we were doing well for awhile keeping it going, but there just aren’t really any active QT now. If anyone is on Reddit who can post in a trans space to let people know about this sub, that could help. It will get deleted, but maybe a few people would see it.

I feel like maybe this space has just become so GC dominated that it would be hard for someone who is QT to last. It might be overwhelming or intimidating to have so many people criticize you and your ideas without having anyone support you. Genderbender has been defending her ideas in some threads, but it must be hard to be so outnumbered.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-02-13T19:03:56+00:00

Hi MT! My choice to talk about what I did isn’t because don’t see or don’t agree with the GC view on the main focus of this thread, which is male trans people violating women’s boundaries. It’s a huge issue and I considered prefacing what I said to agree with the point Houseplant was making, but decided not to. I want to try and comment in a way that might create discussion rather than just agreeing with the GC posters. I feel like it’s better to focus on any point of disagreement or issue that isn’t getting discussed rather than just agreeing with everyone.

To be clear though, women don’t owe male trans people any discomfort, fear, or risk of harm. “Trans rights” and everything that goes with them are things I am against. I guess the only exception would be if there was discomfort from seeing a visibly trans or GNC person in a public place like a restaurant or the market, who is just minding their business and not using any private space. That would just be something everyone needs to tolerate because other people exist in the world and doesn’t really have anything to do with “trans rights.” This could be said of other things that might make someone uncomfortable. For example, I feel especially uncomfortable with white men or boys with certain types of southern U.S. accents. When I was a child, there was trauma that happened at the hands of boys who talked that way. That doesn’t mean that those people can’t go places in the world, I just have to cope with feeling that way.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-02-13T13:51:38+00:00

I don’t agree that it is harassment to calmly question a male presence, or to expect that males will afford a modicum of respect for female rights and spaces.

That isn’t harassment to me either. When I say, “existing in the world” I don’t mean in sex-segregated or private spaces.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-02-13T01:45:06+00:00

You should leave people alone and not harass them. I feel like if someone is gender nonconforming or visibly trans, they should be able to go through their life without being harmed. It doesn’t mean that anyone has to use certain words or allow them to use sex segregated spaces (if that’s something they want), but they shouldn’t be harassed or harmed for just existing in the world. We all deserve at least that much from strangers I feel like.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-01-17T04:48:10+00:00

I’m not sure about always needing treatment based on sex, it just doesn’t seem like that is how it is treated. At the very least, someone like me would have an unusual body fat ratio, tissue distribution, hormonal profile, and genitals compared to most male people. That’s why I feel like it’s important someone to have all the information. Assuming I was female might be bad and that’s why I tell people and would want them to know if I was unconscious, but I feel like someone just giving treatments targeting an average male person would probably be bad too.

Taking exogenous hormones won't make someone's body develop more like the opposite sex

That just isn’t true. They don’t change sex, but they effect how your body develops, if you take them when you are still developing. Most of the changes that happen during puberty are because of large quantities of sex hormones. You can still believe that "gender affirming treatment" causes more problems than it solves (and it probably does many times, it’s probably how the person sees it, but it isn’t without problems), but I don’t know what to say to the other part.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-01-16T15:04:03+00:00

Hi MT! Hope you had a wonderful holiday and happy new year! Sorry I’m so low in responding to this! I’m not sure why it doesn’t come up more in the trans community. Maybe they just don’t think about the long term very much.

There also just isn’t a lot of research about trans bodies and how they respond to things. Is a male body that’s developed with high estrogen or a female body that’s developed with high testosterone need treatment based on sex rather than how it’s developed? There are obvious things like pregnancy or prostate problems that could be ruled out for sex, but for dosage requirements or disease risks, I’m just not sure if it has been studied enough. I feel often speaking to my doctors that they don’t quite understand my body or what to expect. People who advocate for it act like the long-term medical effects are well understood, but I don’t think they are.

I have thought about the being unconscious and not able to explain. There is medical information on my Apple watch that can be access if I am unconscious. Maybe my partner would be there or he could explain my medical history. I’m not sure how much it matters though other than like pregnancy because I feel like they just don’t know that much. I feel like, in most cases, even if they knew the history I’d probably be treated similar to female person of my height and body weight. I don’t thing medical people are trained to do any different or would know what that different thing should be.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-01-12T23:59:37+00:00

I feel like saying GCDebatesQT in any remotely trans space would get it removed. They were all so happy when we were banned. :(

We could still try though. Even if it only stays up a little while, someone might choose to come.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-01-12T00:00:28+00:00

Go to the bathroom you look like you're supposed to use, don't use changing rooms or any other more intimate women's spaces, the world will continue to rotate.

I still feel like it’s not totally right, but I appreciate it. :)

peakingatthemoment · 2022-01-11T21:05:39+00:00

Obligatory not QT, but trans. I feel like there could be a few different answers. As u/Beris was saying, it just might not be as safe and men could be more likely to be upset by your presence. Maybe trans males might feel less sense of community or kinship with men/boys from growing up than trans females might feel with women/girls. I don’t know that for sure, but I feel like it would explain a lot. There is a part of just respecting boundaries less too, especially in instances where a person is obviously male. Females are socialized to care more about others feelings and males often times aren’t. I know GC isn’t happy any trans males using women’s bathroom, but if you pass, it is usually less disruptive in public to use the bathroom that matches how you look.

peakingatthemoment · 2022-01-09T01:01:42+00:00

Congratulations and thank you for sharing! I hope your opening went well! :)

peakingatthemoment · 2021-12-19T16:45:41+00:00

I don’t see any point to inclusive language either. I assume it’s to spare the feelings of trans people who don’t pass, but that hardly seems like a reason to change words for the entire population. Also, it’s hard to understand why someone would want to go through life with other people just pretending for them to make them feel better. It seems like every interaction would be so fake. It becomes harder to use the language too in a way that makes sense.

I can’t speak for everyone, but the medical records of mine I’ve seen don’t indicate it. That said, I don’t think my childhood medical records weren really carried forward and I’ve been legally that way for a very long time, so it might be different for other people. My primary care doctor and anyone else I see regularly know my history, but I expect to have to explain if I see someone new. I don’t think the medical records system is really designed to deal with legal sex change.

peakingatthemoment · 2021-12-19T05:25:06+00:00

For me personally, that usually isn’t enough though and I have to explain more. If I tell a medical person that I’m trans, they usually think I’m going the opposite way than I did. I’m not sure if other trans people have this problem. It’s always possible to explain, but it’s become harder since male/female started being seen as gender words too. Even saying I’m male can give opposite meaning and I don’t like having to say assigned at birth because it is nonsense. :(

peakingatthemoment · 2021-12-19T01:05:25+00:00

I’m sure if there can be much agreement because many QT sees man/woman and male/female as gender words and GC sees man/woman and male/female as sex words. Years ago no one would say trans female to refer to a trans natal male, but you hear things like that now. I would like it if we could keep male and female only as sex words. It’s possible to be a man or a woman in a social sense while not actually being that male or a female, although I know people may disagree on that. I feel like the assigned sex a birth stuff is really confusing (and also inaccurate). I don’t that means that TM are going to start referring to themselves as female men or vice versa, but at least it might make things simpler for times it does matter, like at the doctor’s office.

peakingatthemoment · 2021-12-19T00:54:06+00:00

I’m not sure if there is anyone active who believes this should happen to defend it. :(

peakingatthemoment · 2021-12-18T00:22:27+00:00

I feel like social dysphoria is discomfort comes from existing in the world being seen as your sex. Some of it is connected to physical dysphoria because it might remind you that your body isn’t what you feel like it’s supposed to be. If you have deep body issues, it can just make them worse. This is probably like the official truscum answer lol.

I don’t think it’s totally separate from gender norms though because those get imposed on you because of your apparent sex too. If you aren’t what people expect for someone of your sex, you can suffer a lot of harassment and people aren’t comfortable with you. Especially if you ever passed as the other sex, you might know that so many things about you that cause problems for you aren’t problems if people see you as the other sex because you fit better. It’s not fair or right that roles are imposed on us, especially children, but it’s still how it is many times and it’s really hard to not fit like that. You can’t even feel safe if that’s how people are seeing you. Not that their aren’t safety concerns the other way too, so it may just be because of trauma. Dismantling gender norms would help with this type of social dysphoria at least. I hope this made sense!

peakingatthemoment · 2021-12-18T00:00:51+00:00

I’ve thought about making a twitter account to advocate for GC ideas, but I’m afraid to come out of my real-life social media. There is a TW and female non-binary person working at my company both of whom might say I was making them feel unsafe and try to get me fired. My company is also very pro-LGBTQ+ and so it might be seen as hurting the company’s image. 😣

peakingatthemoment · 2021-12-12T15:56:08+00:00

Hi Worried! Thanks for sharing! It seems like a neat idea.

The list of suggestions is helpful. I don’t know if I will come out to anyone. Not listing pronouns in my bio or email signature, against our company’s guidance, is the only public thing I do in support I guess, but I’ve expressed my issues with the trans movement to my partner and some of my family.

peakingatthemoment · 2021-12-11T17:11:11+00:00

I don’t know if I have regrets exactly. My life is better than I ever thought it could be. I wish I could reproduce though. It probably more like wishing I could give my husband a baby naturally though more than anything that could have really happened if I hadn’t transitioned. The decisions that affected fertility happened when I was so young though and by the time I was 18, there wasn’t any going back. It didn’t matter to me at the time and I don’t see how it could have worked if I magically still had that ability, but it hurts to know you aren’t able too ever, even if it wouldn’t have been possible anyway. Maybe I just want to universe to be different and it isn’t rational, idk. It’s not like I ever been able to have a baby biologically with a man. It’s probably just wishing for impossible things.

peakingatthemoment · 2021-12-07T02:25:15+00:00

I just really hope people get bored with it or the culture moves on. People are super interested in it and I wish they weren’t. I feel like the current moment is bizarre in how many people are identifying as trans. It’s like 100x more than 20 years ago, and I don’t even think that’s an exaggeration. Maybe GC views will gain more acceptance and they’ll be a stronger force to push back against it. That would better to me, but I’d rather everyone just stop caring and we went back to sanity. Transition shouldn’t be paid for by insurance and it’s no one’s job to validate anyone’s identity. Passing trans people in opposite sex spaces can’t be avoided, but we should do something about prisons and sports.

peakingatthemoment · 2021-11-14T16:46:41+00:00

Sometimes identity doesn’t come from something that makes sense, but it could still be there. I realize it must be really funny to think about for someone who hasn’t experienced that type of identity though. I’m not saying it’s a “true identity” necessarily, but someone could still experience themselves that way.

peakingatthemoment · 2021-11-02T23:19:24+00:00

Aren’t HSTS TW more likely to be subject to violence though? I feel like I’ve heard about it a lot more often when stories of murders come out. Considering there are many more AGPs, shouldn’t it be the opposite if it was anywhere near balanced? The numerous 30-something computer programmer types act like they are at risk, but I don’t think they really are.

Thanks for sharing about the prison studies! HSTS being protected and not wanting to transfer in prison feels right to me.

People are totally uninformed about how most trans people actually are if they don’t have personal experience. I tried to explain to my husband awhile back that most transwomen are attracted to women and he had a hard time grasping it. Public opinion might change about self-ID and other nonsense when understand what it actually is…

peakingatthemoment · 2021-10-29T22:13:44+00:00

Only a small minority of transwomen are sexually attracted to other males.

I agree with that it isn’t like a big group of transwomen, but I feel like it is the group that actually experiences violence. I feel like that’s HP was explaining. Those other groups of transwomen talk about the violence like it could happen to them, but they aren’t at risk. Obviously male violence can come from circumstances other than stealthing though.

peakingatthemoment · 2021-10-20T20:15:17+00:00

Thanks for sharing! That makes sense about gender dysphoria. I guess I probably see trans as more separate from gender ideology or beliefs about transgenderism. Do you think the identity could be because of a mental illness, or do people choose that identity/belief system?

peakingatthemoment · 2021-10-14T17:36:17+00:00

I feel like this is a really good description. Thank you for taking the time to write it!!

The whole topic makes me sad to think about. I feel like you just grew up in environment where gender nonconformity was more recognized and accepted than I did. I know now as an adult that boys can be like I was and girls can like more rough and tumble things and none those things aren’t natural parts of being a boy or a girl, but I raised to believe they were before I can remember it. If someone wasn’t like that, they were wrong. Maybe it is mental illness to see yourself as another sex, but, if it developed, it wasn’t a conscious choice, and you don’t want to be wrong to the adults around you. You have to make sense of it somehow. You don’t know it’s sexism and homophobia. You think it’s just how the world is and believing your a girl in some metaphysical ways explains how you can exist when you can’t imagine a world outside the one your parents and community have laid out for you. I don’t know totally know what is caused me to be how I am, but it makes the most sense to me. Once I stopped believing that being “born in the wrong body” was real I’ve tried to explain it to myself. None of it matters I guess, but I wish I could know. I want little girls and boys to be taught from birth that they are fine just how they are and to not feel like they have to be one way.

peakingatthemoment · 2021-10-14T03:07:35+00:00

If someone is behaving inappropriately, mods can still get involved.

peakingatthemoment · 2021-10-14T02:44:10+00:00

I feel like, similar to misgendering rules, it should be about users and not general statements. I feel if we made it about general statements, we’d have to make misgendering rules that way too to be consistent and I don’t think we should do that. Hopefully, everyone can deal with the occasional QT user using “cis” in a general way. I still think we should discourage any use and that is why I left the language in the sidebar very general.

Part of what we debate is whether is man/woman is a gender word or sex words. Rules shouldn’t be based on seeing that only one way.

peakingatthemoment · 2021-10-14T02:43:17+00:00

I feel like, similar to misgendering rules, it should be about users and not general statements. I feel if we made it about general statements, we’d have to make misgendering rules that way too to be consistent and I don’t think we should do that. Hopefully, everyone can deal with the occasional QT user using “cis” in a general way. I still think we should discourage any use and that is why I left the language in the sidebar very general.

peakingatthemoment · 2021-10-13T20:58:51+00:00

I’m not sure if my identity is the same as a female identity or what that would be like. I can never experience the world as anything or anyone other than myself. When I talk about identity or sense of self, I mean how I see or think of myself. It’s not meant to be a factual statement about me being something (other than maybe a transsexual). It’s just trying to explain how that type of identity develops or could develop. I don’t think it can be totally explained logically because when/if I came to my sense of self, it wouldn’t be through any conscious logic, I was a child. I was hurting and struggling to fit into a world where it didn’t feel like I fit.

peakingatthemoment · 2021-10-13T13:25:29+00:00

Being a woman or man or female or male is more than an identity, it’s a physical reality, but someone can still have or develop the identity I feel like.

When I was little, I felt really strongly that I was a girl inside and was supposed to be one. Looking back, it seems like it was because my behaviors and interests that were labeled as feminine and I felt closer to girls. They were always my friends and we usually liked the same things. My parents would try to create situations where I would become friends with boys, but I didn’t like it and the boy usually wouldn’t want to play with me either. It was more confusing later when I started having feelings towards boys. Like, as an adult you can look back and be like this was just a effeminate gay child, but when you are a child you don’t understand things like stereotypes and, if you aren’t shown ways to be yourself and be a boy, the way you see yourself to make sense of it would just get stronger and stronger. I feel like trans identity for children might be more likely to develop for children who are raised religious and/or with strict ideas about gender. By the time a parent gets that child to a therapist, even if, as in my case, the therapist didn’t affirm the identity, I feel like it’s too late to really have any chance of shaking the sense of self. Or maybe the stubborn ones become transsexuals and that’s why we do. Maybe there are 9 other boys who go through the same thing and just become gay men. I don’t know, I’m just thinking out loud about it. I don’t know all the answers. I think the trans adults are more confusing because adults know more, but I don’t feel like I can say because I’d really just be speculating.

peakingatthemoment · 2021-10-12T00:01:24+00:00

Thank you BiologyIsReal! I don’t expect we will be aggressive with this, especially if someone is new here. Also, it is fine to refer to yourself as cis or cisgender if that is how you identify, just don’t label others.

peakingatthemoment · 2021-10-10T00:16:38+00:00

Totally! If anything declaring pronouns should itself be invalidating, yet people seem to want to do it and ask others to.

peakingatthemoment · 2021-10-09T22:38:40+00:00

It makes more sense to argue why you fit the definition as it exists than to try to redefine it. It just seems like the redefining makes it obvious why it’s happening and makes it pointless.

This is really great point and something that confuses me too. If you have to try to convince people to change the word so you can me a part of it it seems like admitting that you aren’t naturally.

So if the issue is the association with your sex/gender or the fact that you are excluded from actual issues relevant to the sex you wish you were- what’s the point? Further, if you’re trans, why do you want the word "woman" to include male people (or the reverse for tm), if You don’t want to be seen as male at all?

None of the language stuff matters to me, as a trans person, because I’m not seen as a part of that group, but it does matter to me because it hurts women I feel like. I also don’t like being asked to list/state my pronouns places and it’s getting more and more difficult not to. If people want to have preferred pronouns, that is fine, but the rest of us shouldn’t be forced to participate in normalizing it I feel like. Same with "menstruators, chest feeders, uterus havers". I’m so over it.

peakingatthemoment · 2021-10-09T22:05:34+00:00

I would think lesbian. Maybe if you were with a super passing ftm, you might get read as straight, but based on the type you describe it doesn’t sound like that wouldn’t happen lol.

peakingatthemoment · 2021-09-09T13:04:05+00:00

Yes. Even if safety isn’t the issue, men still have a need for privacy I feel like.

peakingatthemoment · 2021-09-04T04:45:38+00:00

Hi u/Porcelain_Quetzal! In my view, u/BiologyIsReal has just been enforcing rules and doing it really wonderfully. :)

My 2 cents: I feel like using the words that make up TIM/TIF is not at all the same as using the slurs themselves. The reason GC changed from using MTT/FTT is because TIM/TIF sound like names (misgendering ones). If you write out the words, it isn’t the same. I don’t feel like spelling out TERF would be the same as saying the slur either.

I just worry you might be using your position here to advocate against things that bother you in particular and I feel like it’s super important we stay neutral. I don’t like “trans identified x” and I don’t feel like it describes me or how I think about transness, but that doesn’t mean that people who see it as an identity can’t have the words to express that.

peakingatthemoment · 2021-08-10T22:19:38+00:00

No
I was raised by conservative Baptist parents. I can’t remember exactly when I stopped believing it, but I did and I felt bad about it and that I was disappointing them.
I do sometimes wonder if being raised in a conservative and religious environment that made me feel wrong contributed to my cross-sex identification, but there isn’t any way to know and even if it did, I’m still me and I can’t make myself someone else.
To me, they don’t really feel similar, but I understand some similarities when people describe them. I feel like to can seem similar to religion if the focus is believing that everyone has a gender identity that no one can see. Subjective identities shouldn’t matter to other people and the whole push to treat people based on them is really strange. I don’t feel like identities are the important part though so my beliefs aren’t similar to religious ones I don’t think. I think more about existing in the world and feel like it’s wrong demand anything from anyone based on an identity that they may not believe in or care about.

peakingatthemoment · 2021-08-07T14:50:24+00:00

Okay, that makes sense! Gender is confusing and I can understand not liking it as part of language, especially if it’s coming from outside. I feel like we need some way to talk about sex stereotypes or roles assigned to people based on sex, but gender is used so many different ways maybe it’s not the best way to do it. I’m a native English speaker so how I think about it is probably shaped by that, but what do you feel like good ways are for discussing those things without words like gender?

peakingatthemoment · 2021-08-06T00:51:30+00:00

I feel like legal sex change has probably existed in one way or another forever. Before there was really a process, you could get just a judge to issue a court order to take to vital records. Even if that wasn’t possible, getting passable documents was probably much easier too or using something someone made to obtain legal documents. Employment would have been massively easier even if you couldn’t do a legal sex change because everything was so much less connected. You didn’t even need to complete an I9. I was really talking more about the 60s than the old west, although I feel like passing transmen probably existed then and possibly transwomen too, although not ones who would pass by modern standards.

peakingatthemoment · 2021-08-05T23:16:41+00:00

I feel like there were probably some stealth transwomen by the 60s and I know there were stealth transmen going back way before that. Because of stealth, we could exist in times where there was massive hostility towards us without it ruining our lives. I don’t think it’s good casting though unless that is the story that they are trying to tell. I feel like trans people for me sort of take me out of the story unless it is about that because I notice and I can’t unnoticed it, if that makes sense lol.

peakingatthemoment · 2021-08-05T13:31:00+00:00

Amend laws and policies that use the phrase “gender based violence” to something that reflect sexism and misogyny are sex-based.

I have to push back a little bit on the misogyny part. I understand that misogyny is intended to be sex based, and maybe it’s okay to define it that way legally, but if someone is believed to be female, they will experience misogyny (even if it’s misplaced). I’ve experienced extremely overt and less overt misogyny many many times over the years and I feel like it’s just a nonsense belief to say that doesn’t happen because of trait that isn’t visible to the men to perpetuate it. I’ve experience too much in my life to be convinced otherwise. It shapes my life. I do think it’s only stealth transwomen who experience it and declaring yourself a woman isn’t going to make that happen. Visibly or out transwomen are either treated with hostility or (more often where I am) like super special males who everyone changes their language for and showers with compliments to help them feel better.

I agree with most of the other things you said, especially moving to the Nordic model.

peakingatthemoment · 2021-08-01T00:29:30+00:00

Sorry you got pulled into this Worried... ☹️

I’m starting to feel like this is more about them and their issues than any of us. I probably should have just not replied.

peakingatthemoment

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