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8
6

NRA Calls For Teachers To Keep Loaded Gun Pointed At Class For Entire School Day

14 days ago by crustybutt to /s/politics from theonion.com

  • 20 comments
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1
2

Libertarian Reluctantly Calls Fire Department

9 months ago by Drewski to /s/Libertarian from theonion.com

  • 1 comment
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4
5

Gay Teen Worried He Might Be Christian

1 year ago by ActuallyNot to /s/whatever from theonion.com

  • 3 comments
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3
2

Minneapolis Honors Police Brutality Victims By Dedicating Armored Vehicles To George Floyd

1 year ago by Drewski to /s/Satire from theonion.com

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5
6

Studio Ghibli Theme Park Opening Delayed After Construction Site Overrun With Curious Forest Sprites

1 year ago by Tom_Bombadil to /s/funny from theonion.com

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1
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Disney Installs Animatronic Christian Missionaries To Convert Natives On Jungle Cruise Ride

1 year ago by Sw0rdofDam0cles to /s/Satire from theonion.com

  • comment
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3
1

FBI Vetting 25,000 National Guard Members Ahead Of Inauguration

1 year ago by Evilphd666 to /s/WayOfTheBern from theonion.com

  • 1 comment
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2
1

QAnon Followers Frustrated After Q Calls For Respecting Election Results, Uniting Behind Biden

1 year ago by Drewski to /s/Satire from politics.theonion.com

  • comment
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4
1

Nation Hopeful For Better Future Where Activist Celebrities Will Finally Shut The F*ck Up

1 year ago by Sw0rdofDam0cles to /s/Satire from theonion.com

  • comment
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2
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Media Glad It Can Finally End Half-Assed Charade Of Trying To Understand American Populace

1 year ago by Sw0rdofDam0cles to /s/Satire from theonion.com

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2
1

Wisconsin Reports Zero Evidence Of Voter Fraud In Ballots They’ve Thrown Out So Far

1 year ago by Sw0rdofDam0cles to /s/Satire from politics.theonion.com

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1
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John Bolton Seething With Jealousy After Trump Gets To Become Living Biological Weapon

1 year ago by Drewski to /s/Satire from politics.theonion.com

  • comment
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1
3

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Upgraded To Full DNC Speaking Slot After Announcing Support For Iraq War

1 year ago by EndlessSunflowers to /s/funny from politics.theonion.com

  • 2 comments
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1
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Study Finds Gap Widening Between Rich Pets And Poor Americans

1 year ago by Sw0rdofDam0cles to /s/Satire from theonion.com

  • 1 comment
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1
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Most Anticipated Games Of The Summer

1 year ago by Sw0rdofDam0cles to /s/Satire from ogn.theonion.com

  • comment
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2
4

Severely Injured Woman Heroically Fights Off Paramedics Trying To Force Her Into Medical Debt

1 year ago by Sw0rdofDam0cles to /s/Satire from theonion.com

  • comment
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13
13

Biden Addresses Sexual Assault Allegations: ‘My Advisors Told Me To Say They Aren’t True’

2 years ago by [deleted] to /s/funny from theonion.com

  • 22 comments
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11
20

Pope Francis Urges Priests To Refrain From Molesting Children Over Coronavirus Fears

2 years ago by [deleted] to /s/news from theonion.com

  • 6 comments
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3
3

I'm Totally Psyched About This Abortion!

3 years ago by Froglich to /s/funny from politics.theonion.com

  • comment
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5
6

Growing Drug Tolerance Drives Trump To Buy Black-Tar Hydroxychloroquine Off Dealer In D.C. Metro Station

2 years ago by [deleted] to /s/funny from theonion.com

  • comment
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1
1

Updated Patriot Act Finally Legalizes 80% Of Current FBI Operations

2 years ago by [deleted] to /s/funny from theonion.com

  • 1 comment
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5
7

Study Finds It Statistically Impossible That Your Mom The Best Mom In The World

2 years ago by Tom_Bombadil to /s/funny from theonion.com

  • comment
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2
3

Overcome Stress By Visualizing It As A Greedy, Hook-Nosed Race Of Creatures

2 years ago by hennaojichan to /s/funny from theonion.com

  • comment
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1
1

NYPD Officer Hopes Black Teen Only Coughing Because He Just Choked Him

2 years ago by JasonCarswell to /s/Humor from local.theonion.com

  • comment
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2
4

Russian Roulette Champion Wouldn’t Let His Son Play Russian Roulette

2 years ago by [deleted] to /s/funny from local.theonion.com

  • comment
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2

Quarantined Umpire Cleans His Entire Home With Tiny Brush

2 years ago by [deleted] to /s/funny from sports.theonion.com

  • comment
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2
12

British Man Astounded To Hear How Much It Would Cost To Get Mustard Jar Removed From Rectum Under U.S. Healthcare System

2 years ago by [deleted] to /s/funny from local.theonion.com

  • 3 comments
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1
3

New Report Finds Americans Willing To Trust Scientific Knowledge Of Anyone Holding Glass Beaker Up To Light

2 years ago by [deleted] to /s/funny from theonion.com

  • comment
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1
2

Department Of Interior Announces Birds Will Continue Going About Regular Bird Activities During Pandemic

2 years ago by [deleted] to /s/funny from theonion.com

  • comment
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1
1

Trump Quietly Checks With Aides To Make Sure He’d Be Included In Receiving $1,000 Government Checks

2 years ago by Tom_Bombadil to /s/funny from politics.theonion.com

  • comment
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2
5

Violently Bored Americans Begin Looting Puzzle Stores

2 years ago by [deleted] to /s/funny from theonion.com

  • 1 comment
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1
2

Frustrated Dog Has No Time To Jerk Off Now That Owner Home All Day

2 years ago by [deleted] to /s/funny from local.theonion.com

  • comment
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1
1

Conservative Worries Relief Checks Would Discourage Americans From Providing For Selves By Killing Him And Taking His Property

2 years ago by [deleted] to /s/funny from politics.theonion.com

  • comment
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1
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New Neutrogena Deep Cleanse Just 130-Pound Chimp That Rips Your Face Off

2 years ago by [deleted] to /s/funny from theonion.com

  • comment
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6
7

Bloomberg Hires Thousands Of Canvassers To Stop Black Men On Street And Force Them To Hear Campaign Pitch

2 years ago by [deleted] to /s/PoliticalHumor from politics.theonion.com

  • 3 comments
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1
1

‘It’s Time To Go, Mr. Stone,’ Says Ski-Masked William Barr After Running Prison Bus Off Road

2 years ago by [deleted] to /s/PoliticalHumor from politics.theonion.com

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3
2

[Satire] Report: Doing Your Part To Stop Climate Change Now Requires Planting 30,000 New Trees, Getting 40,000 Cars Off The Road, Reviving 20 Square Miles Of Coral Reef

2 years ago by happysmash27 to /s/collapse from theonion.com

  • comment
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2
2

Cackling Julian Assange Disintegrates Into Lines Of Code As Baffled Authorities Attempt To Handcuff Him

3 years ago by EndlessSunflowers to /s/funny from theonion.com

  • comment
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2
1

New Department Of Agriculture Study Finds 85% Of U.S. Farmers Woefully Kicking At Dirt

3 years ago by ikidd to /s/farming from theonion.com

  • comment
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