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NRA Calls For Teachers To Keep Loaded Gun Pointed At Class For Entire School Day
14 days ago by crustybutt to /s/politics from theonion.com
Libertarian Reluctantly Calls Fire Department
9 months ago by Drewski to /s/Libertarian from theonion.com
Gay Teen Worried He Might Be Christian
1 year ago by ActuallyNot to /s/whatever from theonion.com
Minneapolis Honors Police Brutality Victims By Dedicating Armored Vehicles To George Floyd
1 year ago by Drewski to /s/Satire from theonion.com
Studio Ghibli Theme Park Opening Delayed After Construction Site Overrun With Curious Forest Sprites
1 year ago by Tom_Bombadil to /s/funny from theonion.com
Disney Installs Animatronic Christian Missionaries To Convert Natives On Jungle Cruise Ride
1 year ago by Sw0rdofDam0cles to /s/Satire from theonion.com
FBI Vetting 25,000 National Guard Members Ahead Of Inauguration
1 year ago by Evilphd666 to /s/WayOfTheBern from theonion.com
QAnon Followers Frustrated After Q Calls For Respecting Election Results, Uniting Behind Biden
1 year ago by Drewski to /s/Satire from politics.theonion.com
Nation Hopeful For Better Future Where Activist Celebrities Will Finally Shut The F*ck Up
Media Glad It Can Finally End Half-Assed Charade Of Trying To Understand American Populace
Wisconsin Reports Zero Evidence Of Voter Fraud In Ballots They’ve Thrown Out So Far
1 year ago by Sw0rdofDam0cles to /s/Satire from politics.theonion.com
John Bolton Seething With Jealousy After Trump Gets To Become Living Biological Weapon
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Upgraded To Full DNC Speaking Slot After Announcing Support For Iraq War
1 year ago by EndlessSunflowers to /s/funny from politics.theonion.com
Study Finds Gap Widening Between Rich Pets And Poor Americans
Most Anticipated Games Of The Summer
1 year ago by Sw0rdofDam0cles to /s/Satire from ogn.theonion.com
Severely Injured Woman Heroically Fights Off Paramedics Trying To Force Her Into Medical Debt
Biden Addresses Sexual Assault Allegations: ‘My Advisors Told Me To Say They Aren’t True’
2 years ago by [deleted] to /s/funny from theonion.com
Pope Francis Urges Priests To Refrain From Molesting Children Over Coronavirus Fears
2 years ago by [deleted] to /s/news from theonion.com
I'm Totally Psyched About This Abortion!
3 years ago by Froglich to /s/funny from politics.theonion.com
Growing Drug Tolerance Drives Trump To Buy Black-Tar Hydroxychloroquine Off Dealer In D.C. Metro Station
Updated Patriot Act Finally Legalizes 80% Of Current FBI Operations
Study Finds It Statistically Impossible That Your Mom The Best Mom In The World
2 years ago by Tom_Bombadil to /s/funny from theonion.com
Overcome Stress By Visualizing It As A Greedy, Hook-Nosed Race Of Creatures
2 years ago by hennaojichan to /s/funny from theonion.com
NYPD Officer Hopes Black Teen Only Coughing Because He Just Choked Him
2 years ago by JasonCarswell to /s/Humor from local.theonion.com
Russian Roulette Champion Wouldn’t Let His Son Play Russian Roulette
2 years ago by [deleted] to /s/funny from local.theonion.com
Quarantined Umpire Cleans His Entire Home With Tiny Brush
2 years ago by [deleted] to /s/funny from sports.theonion.com
British Man Astounded To Hear How Much It Would Cost To Get Mustard Jar Removed From Rectum Under U.S. Healthcare System
New Report Finds Americans Willing To Trust Scientific Knowledge Of Anyone Holding Glass Beaker Up To Light
Department Of Interior Announces Birds Will Continue Going About Regular Bird Activities During Pandemic
Trump Quietly Checks With Aides To Make Sure He’d Be Included In Receiving $1,000 Government Checks
2 years ago by Tom_Bombadil to /s/funny from politics.theonion.com
Violently Bored Americans Begin Looting Puzzle Stores
Frustrated Dog Has No Time To Jerk Off Now That Owner Home All Day
Conservative Worries Relief Checks Would Discourage Americans From Providing For Selves By Killing Him And Taking His Property
2 years ago by [deleted] to /s/funny from politics.theonion.com
New Neutrogena Deep Cleanse Just 130-Pound Chimp That Rips Your Face Off
Bloomberg Hires Thousands Of Canvassers To Stop Black Men On Street And Force Them To Hear Campaign Pitch
2 years ago by [deleted] to /s/PoliticalHumor from politics.theonion.com
‘It’s Time To Go, Mr. Stone,’ Says Ski-Masked William Barr After Running Prison Bus Off Road
[Satire] Report: Doing Your Part To Stop Climate Change Now Requires Planting 30,000 New Trees, Getting 40,000 Cars Off The Road, Reviving 20 Square Miles Of Coral Reef
2 years ago by happysmash27 to /s/collapse from theonion.com
Cackling Julian Assange Disintegrates Into Lines Of Code As Baffled Authorities Attempt To Handcuff Him
3 years ago by EndlessSunflowers to /s/funny from theonion.com
New Department Of Agriculture Study Finds 85% Of U.S. Farmers Woefully Kicking At Dirt
3 years ago by ikidd to /s/farming from theonion.com
